First, before I start talking about hockey and I have your immediate attention…I’d like to talk about a couple of charities.

The Hockey Guys are hosting a fundraiser to benefit LiveStrong: The Lance Armstrong Foundation and the Leukemia/Lymphoma Socity.

I’ve been holding back on pulling my “I have cancer” card and have already donated $100 to the cause. But, I’m pulling it out, because technically, when you have the disease they’re fundraising for…it doesn’t make sense to donate money to it…but I did anyway…which I hope will encourage you to do so as well.

I donated because: 1. They’re my colleagues. 2. They needed help. 3. All they’re asking for is just a $1 donation towards their goal of $2500.

I still have yet to see a single dollar donated beyond what I donated along w/ that of what one of the organizer’s donated. Yes, I’m a bit disappointed in the hockey community when I see that.

So I’m going to do one better…for each dollar donated because you read it here, I’ll match the donation, up to $500 total. So get to donating. Here’s the link: What’s Brewin Stock Donation Page for Livestrong

Just indicate MK w/ your name on your donation pledge so I know that was a donation for me to match.

Here are the details on the actual fundraiser (if you can make it): Fundraiser Information.

Hockey Fights Cancer, as well as the NHL, have already made donations for their auction they’re holding. If they’re on board, why aren’t YOU?

So help out The Hockey Guys and the hockey community as we work towards fighting cancer.

The second charity I’d like to talk about is Chile.

I’m a little disappointed in North Americans not running to aid Chile. Here are some pictures that shocked the hell out of the Twitter world when I posted them up (thanks to HoldEmTalkRadio for sending them to me).

Now, my question is: why do we pick and choose which natural disaster to aid?

We’re all one race: HUMAN.

I don’t care what the wealth of the nation is…it’s not the people that are wealthy, it’s the country! So we should pass judgment on other humans based on what country they live in?

Don’t compare it to Haiti. You reach out your hand and help.

You can start by donating to The American Red Cross. March is American Red Cross month. So you can pick and choose where you want your money to go.

As a FYI, when you give, the universe gives back to you. I donated to three different charities last week. Guess what I got in return so far…Sheryl Crow tix (2 tix), free lunch, free Starbucks, free goody bag from a major magazine, a special prototype hockey helmet from Easton Hockey…I could go on.

I give and the universe gives in return. It’s called karma. What kind of karma you give to the world is the kind of karma you get back.

Now…I’m done lecturing.

Let’s talk hockey.

CHRIS CHELIOS…is making his way back to the NHL. Atlanta to be exact. Unless by some act of God (aka Lou Lamoriello) decides to grab the D-MAN off of waivers before 12PM tomorrow. Just imagine how much money we would save by picking the D off of waivers and splitting the contract with Chicago. After all, we need a D-man and on the cheap.

Devils fans wouldn’t like that, BUT it beats what we would pay for Dan Hamhuis (who performed horribly when we got a look at him a few weeks ago). Besides, if New Jersey was looking at Hammy…ask yourself this: why are Predators fans so eager to get rid of him for next to nothing? Hmmm…

If it was anything like he showed us, he ain’t all that.

GOOD NEWS for Devils fans. David Clarkson has been reactivated from the injured reserve (and just in time)! Paul Martin is expected to return next Wednesday.

Now, I’ve been hinting at this for weeks…no one picked up on the name I was hinting around with…I threw names out there like Sergei Brylin to throw people off the scent…but it surfaced in Vancouver.

Jaromir Jagr.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Jaromir Jagr and Devils in the same sentence in the past few weeks.

But what I find funny, the player I picked up the name Jaromir Jagr to the Devils from (by reading his mind), has been talking about Jagr as of late to the beat reporters. Stan Fischler has been talking about it (even before then). Foreshadowing of things to come?

Usually the selling point for the Devils is: “I don’t care how much I get paid. It’s not about that. It’s about winning.” Kovalchuk has said it. Jagr was saying it in Vancouver.

After all, Jagr never has to worry about earning a paycheck ever again. What he made in Russia…whew…NO ONE has ever made that kind of money. So he really can live with next to nothing if he so decided to sign with a top 8 eastern conference team that’s heading into the playoffs in 2010.

KHL has 12 games left according to the last tweet I saw from KHL Hockey. The NHL trade deadline does not effect signing a KHL player. There are different rules. Jagr’s contract will end with the KHL unless he signs an extension.

Based on what I’ve heard from SKA St. Petersburg…money is an issue…i.e. lack of money, not getting paid, serious paycuts…you get my drift.

Speaking of SKA St. Petersburg…the KHL President said that SKA St. Petersburg will match…even double…whatever the Devils (or the NHL) is willing to pay Ilya Kovalchuk if the Devils (NHL) re-signs him.

Ummm…yeah…back to the ‘not getting paid, serious paycuts’…Mr. KHL President, you must not have spoken to Ilya, because Ilya has had a big smile on his face since he became a New Jersey Devil. He said that it’s not about the money. It’s about winning.

Unless the KHL has the Stanley Cup…Ilya ain’t going. Ilya has already started thwarting the rumors.

Besides, if it was really about the money, he would have signed that outrageous contract the Thrashers were willing to give to him.

Ilya has the trademark signs of remaining a Devil. He walks the walk and talks the talk.

Alright…one last ditty about Burrows before I talk about other stuff (yeah…Venti Soy Peppermint Mocha has somewhat calmed me down)…

Some interesting stuff that Preds On the Glass had written up from the Nashville Predators vs. Vancouver Canucks game. Buddy was telling me today that it wasn’t until Tuesday when his son Jackson had written up what had happened with Burrows/Auger that he learned what was going on. He went back to read the feed that he had written during the Preds/Canucks game and thought…there indeed was something going on with the officiating.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE STORY

Oh, and a lot of people are happy I grabbed the comments from the NHL’s Facebook page before it disappeared. It just goes to show that there is a major controversy here and fans disgruntled voices need to be heard!

Moving on away from the stuff that really pisses me off today…

Curtis Joseph will be getting his 19 days AFTER I’m done with Shanny’s so-called 21 days (that has taken forever to write). I think the NHL provided me with enough stuff to work off of for the rest of the season to do CuJo’s 19 days. Thanks guys!

Also, a little follow-up regarding the radio show…we are working out the details and have set a date to begin in mid-February. We’ll have more details in the next month.

I’m teaming up with a couple of other ladies from the hockey blogosphere and creating our own Radio Podcast. We’re still working on the details, but it looks like we’re coming up with a long list of things to talk and vent about the way us hockey ladies should. 🙂

Seems like we’re getting a lot of amazing feedback on creating a female threesome radio show.

So stay tuned…we’ll be releasing the details soon. 😉

Welcome to the first Monday of 2010.

While I’ll finish up Shanny’s 21 Days this month (my first resolution of 2010)…there are also some other things on the resolution calendar this year for me.

Right now, the thing that is stressing me out (and I’m getting overly excited for) is my first Black and White Ball. Not only am I excited that I’ll be able to wear a gown I purchased 10 years ago (likelihood of no one wearing the same dress as me is pretty high), but it also means that I’ll be rubbing elbows with the elite of New York.

I was a bit shocked when I received the invitation. I remember a few years ago when I first came to NYC, my boss (at the time) realized from the start that I was a socialite. He told me that it was very hard to break into the NY socialite circle, but if I wanted to return to being a socialite, he’d be willing to introduce me into the circle…BUT it wouldn’t be a nice circle.

I’m sure if you’ve seen Gossip Girl or any rich hobnobby type movie, you’ll understand that the NY elite is very cut throat. So why are they inviting a hockey columnist?

I guess it’s hard to explain. It has a lot to do with my past, the things I’ve done, the heritage, the family, the politics, the who you know…the what I’ve done…what I’m going to do…

Yeah…there’s a lot that goes into it.

When I first came to NYC, I didn’t want to return to the socialite circle…not until I was ready. So now the time has come to officially introduce myself to the NY society…as a writer, photographer, artist and philanthropist. Notice that I did not say as a hockey columnist.

Truthfully, not too many socialites care about the ‘hockey’ part.

Does this mean I’m going to turn into something I’m not? Ummm…no.

Which leads me to a dream I had last night about becoming.

I happen to be doing some research on the topic of LOVE for both books I’ve been working on. I was a bit astonished to find out that a dream I had about the origins of love happens to actually be based on a true story. Imagine my surprise that I’d learn this from a Hebrew mystic in the book “The Mystery of Love.”

I had only read a couple of chapters last night, but it made me dream of my past. I had to keep waking up, because it kept turning into a nightmare.

I dreamed about my time in Indiana and trying to escape it and head to NYC. There were so many things that were inhibiting me from leaving the state. Even my first boyfriend as an adult entered the dream…spouting how he loved me and why couldn’t we work things out?

My emotions then were…like I care how you feel about me. Long story but trust me…he wasn’t the one (he was one of those guys that proposed a couple of times…when I saw the ring the second time…it was a definite NO…it was the ugliest ring in creation that was totally not me at all…if the ring doesn’t reflect me as a person then how can I believe that he even knew who I was).

When I woke up this morning, snug and in my bed, in the life that I was really wanting, I couldn’t help but realize that there were struggles to get there. There was a time where everywhere I turned, I just couldn’t get to NYC. Finally, the day came and I went there.

I had loves that didn’t jive with me anymore. I moved on because they were things that I didn’t need in my life.

It just reminded me of where I’ve been, where I’ve come from, and laying in my bed this morning…realizing who I’ve become.

Life is a journey. When it’s time to become the person you’ve always dreamed you would be, it takes time. There are obstacles along the way. There are times where you feel like nothing is going your way. There will be a day that you can finally break free and run like hell to your destination.

But then there will be one day where you will wake up hating your life and realize…it was just a dream about your past. That was where you came from. Now look at what you have become…you love and appreciate this life even more than you did when you closed your eyes the night before.

Sometimes you have to remember the bad, so you can appreciate the good in life.

I would like to wish everyone a happy holidays, no matter what you celebrate (or don’t celebrate). May you be blessed with goodness and happiness. May your days be peaceful as we celebrate peace on earth.

Continue to bring peace forward into the universe, be mindful of your actions. Look back on the days of this year as we travel towards the new year to learn what has changed, what was good, what was bad and what you can do to improve in the upcoming year.

Set realistic goals in the new year.

Say you’ll lose 5 pounds, instead of 20. Keep telling yourself that you want to lose just 5 pounds until you reach your goal.

Make sure to increase your knowledge in the new year. Make it part of your resolution. Resolve to read 50 pages a day (or 20 pages), or go to a museum you’ve always wanted to go to…or see an exhibit.

Resolve to take up a hobby that always interested you.

Resolve to love with all of your heart, each and every person…and never expect anything in return.

Do something good for Mother Earth. Whether it’s just recycling, greening your cleaning, planting a tree, or growing a garden…do something good for the planet, and you’ll feel good about what you’ve done.

GIVE to charity. If you can’t donate money, donate your time, donate your unused items (cars, clothes, books, etc.).

Take care of your health. You can’t live the life you want to live if you don’t have your health.

Take care of your money. If there’s anything the world should have learned in this past couple of years is how to survive with little to no money. Take this time to re-evaluate your finances. Learn how to live frugally and save money…but at the same time contributing. When you take care of your money, it takes care of YOU.

Be soulful. Now is the time to nurture your soul. Learn how you can in whichever direction God leads you. You’ll be more happier when you do. The greatest mistake man has ever done was forget he was a soul. Nurture your soul and you will be complete.

Ok…I never really talk about this kind of stuff because it’s a sore subject.

Back in 1994, two weeks before my high school graduation, I was out camping with the guys, sitting around a campfire, sharing what would be some of my last high school memories with my guy friends.

Yeah, I was the only girl camped out around the fire with a bunch of guys. My boyfriend wasn’t there. He was at home. These were just a bunch of guy friends that surrounded me during most of my high school career (and caused many young girls to be extremely jealous of me). I wasn’t one of the guys…I was just the girl they worshipped.

But over the years, they had become really great friends.

While we were camped out by the fire, the name of the guy that I’d been in love with since I was a freshman screamed in my head. It went away just as fast as it had entered into my head.

The next morning, we were all playing basketball and football out in the rain. We came in from the rain after a few hours. While I was sitting on the couch next to my best friend, the phone rang.

Mike went to answer the phone. While he was on the phone, he kept looking up at me with sad eyes. After a few minutes he said, “Ok, I’ll tell her.” He then hung up the phone.

He walked towards me slowly and in his young 17 years gave me the hardest message he had ever had to deliver in his lifetime.

“Kevin died last night. They say it’s suicide.”

All eyes in the room moved towards me.

“Are you alright?” my best friend asked after a few minutes.

“I’m fine,” I replied.

“Are you sure? Because you’re shaking all over.”

“I’m just cold.”

Over the next three days, no one would let me out of their sight.

Friends that I hadn’t seen in months came back home to make sure I was okay.

Why? Because when you meet someone that’s your soulmate and someone that you know you’re going to love for the rest of your life…everyone around you can sense it. They feel that love and how magical it is.

Losing a soulmate to suicide is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with. It takes a very long time to get over.

When I went to his parents’ house after the funeral, his mother was in the middle of talking to friends that had come over to express their condolences. When she saw me walk in, she stopped mid-sentence, walked over to me and hugged me.

She said to me with tears in her eyes, “You have no idea how much he loved you.”

She was right about that. I didn’t know.

It took me 7 years before I could ask why he killed himself. My friends had all made a pact not to tell me until I was ready. They couldn’t believe that I waited 7 years to ask.

Finding out about the demons in his home (abusive father) and how this was his only way out since I was leaving to go off to college in Washington, DC in the fall…you kind of have to sit there and say…YOU BASTARD! He could have come with me to Washington. He could have stayed with my family in the final year if he had to. We could have made things work.

Instead, he made the decision to end his life.

This wasn’t something that he decided to do abruptly. He had put a lot of thought into it. He even said goodbye to me a couple of months before when he came home to visit during spring break [he went to school at an Academy 3 hours away]. I just didn’t know that he was telling me goodbye forever.

He had written everything he needed to say to me in a notebook before he died. It went to the police as evidence, and then it was handed over to his family. I never got to see the notebook. My friends couldn’t persuade the family to give it to me.

Whether they were protecting me or themselves, I don’t know. But I think it would have helped me to heal over the years if I knew what he needed to say to me.

I have always felt that a part of my soul left that night by the campfire. My mind screamed his name because a part of my soul was being ripped from me at the exact same moment his heart stopped from the bullet he fired into it.

It’s been over 15 years since I lost Kevin.

There are moments when I feel his spirit pass by me and I begin to miss him. It also doesn’t help that a song starts playing seconds later that makes me want to cry.

Today, as I was walking through Port Authority, I felt his presence again. And Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love” started ringing through my earphones.

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding

As I was listening to the song, I had to fight back the tears walking out onto 9th Avenue. All I kept thinking in my mind was how much I missed him.

There are times that I do wonder what life would have been like if he had not shot himself. I wonder if he and I would have ended up getting married after college, had a family of our own.

But as much as I look at a life that I had lost, I also think about the life that became. I think about the path that was created without him. I think about why things happen…and if there really is something behind it all.

Would I have become a writer? Would I even have anything to do with the NHL? Would I have become an artist/photographer? Would I have become a humanitarian?

Would that life even exist if love had lived? I don’t think it would have.

The things that have made me the person that I am now…all of those things would not have existed. But I do believe that I would have been happier if love had survived.

But as fate would have it…he died, love died, and I survived. I became the lotus blooming in the mud. Fate created something better and greater. It created a dream world that has become my reality. I see the world differently. I only see the lotus blooming, not the mud from which it grows. That’s because life is more than just wonderful…it’s magical.

But you can’t help but miss a love that gets abruptly left behind. Your soul grows stronger as the years progress. It heals no matter how much your heart bleeds for the one you lost forever.

Alright, I hate posting up pics of myself because I know some of you guys tend to visit them too often…I don’t want to know…don’t want to know…

But my friend had taken way too many photos of me in Greece, so I decided to put my print on it and turn a bunch into artwork. Enjoy!

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.

That quote was sent to me randomly the day after I did my blog piece on my hockey passion waning. If I could describe what exactly was going on in my head, my heart and my soul…that was it.

Yesterday, the word “passion” kept showing up left and right throughout my day. Why? Because it was the word that describes me right now…as far as, “Where is my passion for the game?”

News finally broke yesterday that Michael Nylander has officially sailed the ocean blue and packed his snow gear for Russia. Only one legend now remains.

But I will say this for last night’s Devils vs. Ducks game…the commemoration of the 2003 Stanley Cup Championship couldn’t have come at a better time. I couldn’t help but get goosebumps just watching the highlights from the Devils quest for the Stanley Cup in 2003.

It made me think that a Cup just might be what it really takes to ignite that passion once again. Perhaps I’m still feeling the remainders of that shocking disappointment from last season’s playoffs…we’re talking about the last 80 seconds of ice time for the Devils last season.

Just a reality you want to forget permanently.

This is the moment where I ask if I believe this team will win the Cup. I usually never say anything about the Cup due to superstitions, but if the team I saw on the ice last night is the complete or close to the complete team that Lemaire has envisioned…then I’m ready for this team to take it all.

If there was an injured player on that team…you wouldn’t have known based on how they have adapted without key players. That’s the super-team I expected to see from Lemaire. That’s the team I see on the ice now.

Here’s The Write-Up From Wednesday Night’s Win Over the Ducks

I have always said that I’d take a team that would lose in the beginning just so they can fix what’s wrong and create a new team for a new season rather than a team that seems to have it together at the start and then fall apart halfway through the season…struggling to win so they can make it into the playoffs. [Funny how I think of the Rangers as I write that.]

Now, to finish off this whole ‘passion’ hockey thing for the moment…

This morning, Carrie Underwood’s song, “Whenever You Remember” was blaring through my headphones. I want every hockey player out there to think of this song as the song fans would like you to think of when you remember your NHL career:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKqc67m-ik]

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won’t forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I’ll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we’ve done
I hope you’re proud
When you look back and see how far we’ve come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they’d see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won’t forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I’ll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And know that we showed them all
And no they won’t forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I’ll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

I spent most of this weekend glued to my couch watching the entire fourth season of “Supernatural.” I didn’t tweet. I didn’t watch hockey. I stayed glued to my flat screen LCD watching 22 hours of the impending apocalypse…only to be left hanging with the return of Lucifer!

What a way to spend the weekend, right? It only means that winter is quickly approaching (despite today’s indian summer) and I’m starting to hibernate and nest indoors.

But then I got this feeling…I’ve had it before…that feeling that I should spend more time at home…like take a 6 months sabbatical. But the thing is I swore to myself that I would not take another 6 months off until the first book was completed.

Is it near completion? I would say that I’m 3/4 of the way finished with the book.

But before all of that begins…there’s a now.

Friday night was Devils hockey night.

Patty’s Back

Devils are doing well with a 5-game win streak (both at home and on the road).

Adam Mair (Buffalo Sabres) hit waivers and truthfully, I think he would be a great addition to the NJD.

Now, I’m done talking hockey. You can read more at InsideHockey.com.

If you’re noticing that I don’t talk about hockey as much as I used to on this blog, it’s because of the new rules. So for all in-depth hockey related talk from me…you’ll have to go to InsideHockey.com.

Tonight, “The Eye” will be gracing the LCD screen.

Next weekend, there will be a Hitchcock festival in my living room and I’ve only invited the cat to watch with me. 😉

I’ve been bothered a lot about some stupid dramatic, childish stuff happening to a friend of mine. As someone older, it’s hard to see a friend going through this bullshit, especially a colleague in this business that’s trying to be herself and make it in a male dominated industry.

I said a little prayer for them last night before I meditated and when I meditated, this is what I saw.

God was sitting on top of a mountain. I went and sat by his side.

We were looking down the edge of the mountain. There were people trying to climb to the top of the mountain. He said that we never want to see these people get hurt, so we will try and reach down to grab them and protect them if they were to start to fall.

We want to see every single one of them succeed and make it to the summit. We can’t help but want to reach down and help them, throw them a line and pull them up. But we don’t, because they chose this path and they have to make the climb on their own.

They could have taken the easier path up, but they chose not to. Even if you threw them a line, they wouldn’t take it out of pride. So you have to let them make the climb on their own…only offering to save them before they hit the ground.

Now, there are climbers that set out to make it a competition or seek to do harm to other climbers that are heading in the same direction. They will try to grab them and pull them down.

For those at the top of the mountain, all we want to do is get in between the middle of them and tell the vicious one to step off and go their own way before you push them off the cliff yourself, because it’s one less evil person in the world. But to do that, you would be no less of an evil person than them. So you play the role of parent trying to pry the two apart and tell them to play nice!

People like this don’t realize that when you attempt to pull someone down, you risk falling off of the cliff yourself. God’s more apt to save the victim of the attack from falling before he will reach out his hand to save the evil one. [So if the evil one hits the ground, tough luck.]

When this happens, it becomes a battle for survival even though your chances of surviving are actually greater when you work together as a team to reach the summit. [Something called brotherly love comes to mind.]

The other thing is that throughout life, we are taught that we have to work our way from the bottom to make it to the top. We learn life’s lessons along the way so that we can become better leaders when we make it to the top.

Not too many people can make it to the summit. They give up or fail long before they make it to the top. That’s what separates the ‘outliers’ from everybody else.

Although, there are some people that are different. They go straight to the top. Those are the ones that want to help each and every one make it to the top. But at the same time, they understand for each climber, it is their own journey. We cannot interfere. They have to make it on their own.

When you are on your path in life, you can see the mountain, but you can be right on the ground and be at the top of the mountain at the same time. You don’t have to climb the mountain to reach the summit. All you have to do is close your eyes, and you’re there.

This is a concept that’s very hard for people to understand. Paths in life aren’t always handed out so easily. It takes time to figure it out. Some people need to climb a mountain, just to feel like they’re worthy of their path. Others, don’t have to climb a mountain.

Being at the top of the mountain means you understand fully what it takes to get to that position, as well as what it takes to stay in that position without being knocked down by an avalanche.

There is a shortcut to all of this. The shortcut is wisdom…and love. Don’t think love has anything to do with it? Trust me, it does. It takes wisdom and understanding to know that love is everything.

When you are at the summit, you understand that the dramas of the world are not part of the climb…at least, it doesn’t have to be that way. You also understand that humanity and lending a helping hand (AKA LOVE) is one of the most important virtues of remaining at the top.

People always tell me that they are clueless as to what I’m talking about when I say these things. It usually hits them months later when they are in a similar situation and they exclaim, “Oh, that’s what she was talking about!”

So I don’t expect everyone to understand what I’m talking about right now, but just think on it. It’ll make sense one day.

Here are some song lyrics that come to mind today…

“So Small” by Carrie Underwood

‘Cause sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you’ve been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

And when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Now, as a little inspiration for my friend, here are some lyrics that should make you laugh with regards to your haters. 🙂

“Never Wanna See You Again” Rich Hardesty

You’re all upset about nothing
Never want to hurt you, never want to make you cry
Just keep the bullshit to yourself…

Whatever happened to me and you
It’s on page 672, that’s the end of the book
So fuck you

‘Cause I never wanna fuckin’ see you again
Well you’ve always been a bitch since I can remember when
And you irritate my brain and you’re driving me insane
No, I never wanna fuckin’ see your ugly-ass again
Tell me, why do you have to be such a bitch
You wicked witch, fuckin’ bitch

And another classic gem from Rich Hardesty (I can’t remember the name of the song, but I’ve heard him play it enough times…and that music video from Jamaica is playing in my head):

If You Don’t Got Nothing Nice To Say
Don’t Say Nothing At All

As you can see, everybody has haters. Those that are successful press on even when others try to pull them down. Those haters are insignificant. You can either make them a part of your career or refuse to acknowledge them.

So the hockey world that knows both me and Katrina Cady (aka Psycho Puck Lady) have been biting their nails like crazy thinking…OMG…what in the world are those two girls talking about??? All I can say is…be afraid, be very afraid. 😉

I won’t divulge on our hockey girl talk. It’s private. There are teams that should be scared when two hockey writers that will push the card (one to the edge, one over the edge) are meeting up in New York City to talk and talk and talk for hours.

Today’s post at Psycho Lady Hockey (see link on the right) was one of our many topics last night. Her story reminded me a bit of what I went through years ago with someone attempting to cyberbully me…let’s just say things changed dramatically when I put a stop to it.

What’s funny is that someone emailed me last week after I announced I was going on tour with Mats Sundin and they commented on how strange it was that just 3 years ago that crap was happening to me and then now…it’s just unbelievable.

Based on my experience with being a victim of cyberbullies, they never know that they’re doing it. They feel as if they are justified in doing what they’re doing.

I was very disappointed to learn that a campaign was launched against Katrina last week.

I don’t want to get into the middle of all of this, but I just want to say that before you launch negative campaigns, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if you knew someone was doing that to you? It’s not a good feeling. Remember, KARMA is real and it will bite you in the ass tenfold for every wrong act you commit. It’s just a universal fact of life.

It was very heartbreaking to know that people were targeting Katrina. It’s not right. But what Kat had to say in her blog today, it was more than appropriate.

Now, in other news…I have to share this because I was so excited to hear this…

I had to run to the eye doctor last night on an emergency basis before meeting up with Kat. While I sat there going over my lengthy medical history and what 2 eye docs found last year (that the cornea in my left eye was completely gone…I’ve been wearing a special lens meant to supplement the lost cornea), the new eye doc looked at my eye and announced that it was the strangest thing.

The cornea had grown back.

The other two doctors had spoken about a cornea replacement which would require surgery. I had put it off because I wanted to get the easier surgery out of the way (which ended up not being so easy and a lot of complications followed which delayed my heading in for another surgery). I planned to get the cornea replacement during the off-season (this past summer).

Well, for the past few months, I have not been able to see out of my left eye very well…apparently it’s because the cornea grew back and the special lens was no longer needed.

Not only did my cornea grow back, but my vision improved.

It is rare that the cornea will grow back, but it does happen. So I am very happy that I no longer have to have surgery on my eye! It was so bad last year that I almost thought I was going to have to quit hockey because the ice blinded me at times.

Trust me…this is the first positive health news I’ve had in a year!

As for hockey…Devils faceoff against the Sabres tonight. This will be my first hockey game since I’ve been back home.

While most people are sleeping in NYC (or just getting to bed), I’m awaking to a new day at 3:30AM, trying to find something constructive to do with my time before I have to head into the office. I decided that since my body will be thrust between European time zones and NYC’s time zone, it’s best to just come up with a medium time…and that time is 3:30AM.

So this morning while I was going through the photos that required some modeling of my Valentino eyewear for ideeli.com, I was listening to the radio and a topic came up that I have sworn to my girlfriends time and time again was true.

It dealt with women and sports.

Now, for most women, they think that a woman who knows or likes sports is an ideal woman for any man who loves sports.

AU CONTRAIRE!

The male radio host piped in and said that men are in fact intimidated by women who love sports.

Men that I’ve met over the past couple of years love the notion that I’m a writer. Downer to the conversation if they’re trying to pick me up…what I write about.

When they find out that I’m a hockey columnist, the interest plummets faster than a speeding bullet. Now, if you a) work in hockey or b) play hockey…that’s actually a turn on…a woman that knows and understands the sport like you do.

But for all those other men out there…serious downside to picking up a woman is finding out that she writes about a sport that you may or may not love and understands it better than you do. They feel intimidated by her.

It’s almost like it attacks their masculinity that a woman has a better grasp on a sport than they do! It makes them feel inferior.

Now, if I hang out long enough in the NHL store or the NHL Starbucks, I’ll get picked up. No joke.

If I go to a sports bar…no way in hell a man will pick me up…unless I leave out that I write about hockey. Granted, I would have to make my girlfriends swear up and down to not mention anything about hockey.

I’ve learned that even though my life is surrounded by hockey, in the real world…I can’t talk hockey without scaring people off. Even my friends change the subject when a fan comes up and wants to talk about my career with me. The girls don’t like the subject of hockey. It’s a banned subject wherever we go.

Really, you can’t blame them. Talking sports chases the real men away and they’re trying to lure them in.

So for the ladies into sports…remember, if you know your sports, leave that conversation for after the third month. 😉

[Guys…feel free to chime in here or on Twitter (@MichelleKenneth). So far the intimidation factor has proven correct.]

On my last day in Santorini and on the plane to London the next morning, I couldn’t tear myself away from “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell (a book that Pat LaFontaine suggested I read to understand the importance of hockey and poker).

After finishing the book (a very quick read), I have to say…I don’t entirely agree with Mr. Gladwell’s thoughts on what it means to be an outlier, because I am considered an outlier as well.

If you want to know my history…first, I have to rant a little…I can’t stand people that like to talk about how their ancestors were slaves.

So what? My mother was sold into slavery at the age of 8 by her own family so that they could have enough money to buy food for 3 months. My mother was abused for years during her servitude before she ran away at the age of 16. By 21, she married the first American soldier that took an interest in her so that she could get the hell out of her country.

So trust me…I turn a deaf ear to those who want to talk about how their great- great- great- grandparents were slaves and they have a right to be mad at white people, slave owners, etc.

I’m Scottish royalty descended from King Robert the Bruce…guess what? That doesn’t matter anymore because what is dead is dead. I don’t hate the British because they took over my family’s lands and homes. I don’t hate the British because they put our family in fear that had them fleeing the country for America.

I like the British. The British of today weren’t the ones who persecuted my family way back when. I don’t hold a grudge. In a way, I’m thankful that I’m not in line to any throne anytime soon. I wouldn’t have enjoyed that life at all.

The history of my mother’s slavery is what makes my story more unique. There are very few people in America that can talk about slavery and how their very own mother was a slave. That kind of slave story is alive in the history of my life because of what my mother went through to save me and future generations from becoming slaves.

Slavery still exists in this world today. If you want to talk about slavery…start talking about fighting slavery in the world today. My cousins are constantly being thrust into the position of trying to make it in a third world country and escaping slavery or human trafficking scenarios. Slavery still exists today for my family.

The reason why I go off on this rant is because Gladwell talks about slavery at the end of his book and how his great whatevers were slaves and he descended from slaves. I descended from a king, whose great whatever grandson married a slave. So friggin what? The important part is what my mother did so that her children would not become a slave like her and what we still continue to do to save our own family in Thailand from being sold into slavery.

My mother married a man she barely even knew so that she could go to a land where children could not be born into slavery. That land was America. In that dream of America, she had hopes that her children would someday be great and tell her story.

It was my mother that suggested I become a hockey writer a long time ago. My mother and I are estranged now and she has no idea that I do tell her story…and I’m a hockey writer…and I fight to eradicate slavery in the world.

But I don’t base the history of how I came into being from a birthdate or circumstances like Gladwell suggests in his book. I base the history of my success on a blessing from my grandfather when he died. My life began when his ended.

The problem with Gladwell’s book is that he leaves out God, synchronicity within the universe and the paths in life that people are destined for. Destiny is not predetermined in a birthdate or lucky opportunities.

If you could see my world, you would see that it is more than just a bit magical. You can’t help but see it in everything I touch, say and do.

My world is a bit charmed.

I don’t base this charmed life with unique and incredible opportunities on a birthdate or privileged circumstances. I base this path on fate and destiny.

Last season, in the Devils locker room, I couldn’t help but feel the bit of magic in that room. Everyone could feel it. It almost felt like I was rubbing off on these guys. I could even pinpoint the exact moment when the magic balloon bursted and the subsequent look on Patrik Elias’ face. When that moment of luck ended, it was really over and everyone in that room could feel it.

Belief became hope. When a belief becomes a hope, you’re doomed for failure.

I meditate a lot because I need to understand things fully. There are things hidden in the universe that need to be revealed. It is through meditation that I’m able to connect with God and see everything that lies around me…I’m searching for the truth.

But I am also a firm believer in the saying, “Through God all things are possible.” There is so much truth in that saying.

Before my grandfather passed, he told me that nothing would work out for me unless I was on my path in life. Until I am on my path in life, nothing will work out.

So what did I do? I found my path…or rather…my path found me and I have not left it once.

There are twists and turns along the way and options that are presented where it’s a choose your own adventure sort of destiny, but when that happens, I’ll wait for the answer to come.

Things work out more magically than I can ever dream it to be because I am following my destined path in life.

So if I reject a guy, it’s because I know already, “You’re not the one. If you were the one, you would have shown up in my meditations already.” So guys don’t take the rejection too harshly. God just didn’t put you into my plans in this lifetime. Maybe he’ll consider you an option in the next lifetime.

And…ummm…yeah, I already know who the guy is. He shows up in the meditations a lot. Not that I want him to because I’m focusing on something else, but he shows up regardless. There’s a bit of a strong connection there that you can’t help but notice it. Hell, the connection is so strong EVERYONE in the room notices it.

I’ve been dreaming about him since I was 15 years old…or at least the signs that would point to who it was.

But the thing is…a true outlier is someone that defies the odds of mediocrity. The outliers are the ones that succeed in life beyond those that are standing right next to them that choose a simpler life.

I’ve always known I was destined for great things. People throughout my life have seen it too. I know already what those great things are. Great things aren’t always big things. They can also be the little things that can save someone’s life.

My favorite moments are usually the ones where I walk up to someone and tell them the answer to their prayer. They look at me like I’m crazy until I look at them matter of factly and say, “Did you or did you not pray for this?” When they shake their head yes, I then say, “God says the answer is this…you can choose to accept it or not, but either way that is God’s answer.”

It usually shocks the hell out of them, but it’s my way of saying that God exists and the fact that you need someone to tell you he exists has me feeling sorry for your soul…and how important that my upcoming book is for those that are not outliers.

Now, I will admit that when I’m scared or worried and I keep telling myself to not worry, God sometimes has my little angel Rolly call me up just to re-emphasize his point that everything will be okay. Trust me, that little phone call works because I have to remind myself to believe and stop worrying (because worrying doesn’t help anything or anyone).

That is the difference between belief and hope. I believe and put full faith in God that his path is my path. I don’t question it, I just enjoy the ride.

When you hope for something, it’s not meant to be yours. Hope is something created. To me, it’s not real. Hope is a fictitious reality.

When you believe in something…that means that it is real to you.

As an outlier, you can never discount karma or God. Even Bill Gates’ secret to his success lies more in his service to humanity rather than computers and his billions. Good karma means good karma coming back to you. What good you put forth into the world, the same good comes back to you (but in a different way). What evil you put forth into the world, that evil comes back to you tenfold.

Bad things do happen to good people, but it’s how we view the situation that makes it good or bad. It’s like the relationship I have with my father (who also reads this blog). I learned a long time ago that my father’s hate for me and the torment he went through because of my existence was not really aimed towards me in the greater scheme of things. I was really a lesson that God had sent. It took him most of my life before he got it, but it helped me get through the pain by realizing that he knows not what he does to me. I understood that I was a lesson for him.

It was in that understanding of my role in all of this that I could stop feeling pain and realize that there was good in all of this. God had a plan. The reward ended up being far greater than I could imagine.

You see…being an outlier is not predestined upon when you were born or your privileged circumstances. Becoming an outlier is based on living your dream and following your path in life. Each person’s path is different. There are no two paths that are alike.

So if you dream of being Bill Gates…you will never be Bill Gates, because Gates followed his path in life. That was his path, not yours. You take from Bill his inspirational story to follow your own path in life…it is a lesson on the importance of becoming yourself.

In our childhood, we know what we are destined to become. I was always destined to become a writer of books. But it is the world that changes our view of things. We become confused when we get involved in the drama of the world. We lose our way when we become part of the drama.

It was when I was offered my first hockey column two weeks after my grandfather died that I realized that I always knew my path in life. I remember the first sentence I ever wrote. I remember the first book I ever read to myself when no one else was around. I still remember every word in that book.

I remember my first story I ever wrote. I remember the awards I won for writing. I remember being in the 98th percentile of all school children nationwide being tested for English. I also remember the person who realized what my destiny was and announced it before my entire 6th grade class.

Writing was my path in life. It took the death of my grandfather for me to see that. When I stormed down that path in life, amazing things happened.

Outliers are really those that pursue their path in life. We are all destined for great things, whether they are big or small. It just depends on whether we believe in ourselves and God enough to have the courage to follow our paths we were destined for.

Remember who you were before the world started to tell us who we were. They were wrong. Believe that you were the only person that was right all along about who you really were. Nobody knows you like you do.

It takes remembering who you were to find your path. It takes courage to believe in yourself. When you find that courage, you’ll ask yourself why you ever doubted yourself to begin with.

Oh, and as a FYI…maybe you can see a little of where I’m heading with the book “Losing 100 Pounds of Unhappiness.”

Well, I’m outta here for the next couple of weeks. When I come back, I may have some news that will shock everyone. Hell, I was shocked!

But I will say this…Devils hockey is on hold for the remainder of the month for me because I will basically be in and out of the country for the rest of the month and game days fall on days when I am out of the country this month.

But I’ll give you a hint on what I’m about to announce…you’ll have to look for something I’m writing up on Inside Hockey tomorrow (Saturday). I bet even after you read the piece you won’t even have a clue as to what I’m alluding to, but I will say this…a certain former hockey player broke some news to me over the summer. I published it on this very blog…NOBODY LISTENED TO ME.

Well, he had his people contact my people and well…WE’RE BREAKING THE SAME DAMN NEWS AGAIN…because you people just wouldn’t listen to me the first few times! SHEESH!

I recall someone doing a “Michelle Told You So” piece not too long ago. I may be seeing it again. (Much love to ya, Buddy.) 🙂

Since this gained a lot of popularity on Twitter, I thought I’d put it all in one place for everyone. [With some noted commentary.]

And guys…this really is the true meaning behind what we say. Seriously! It’s a universal language amongst womankind.

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

[Enough said. Granted, I always made my point very clear when I am really mad by chopping off my hair. That won the argument every single time. It also meant…don’t piss Michelle off or she’ll make you feel really sorry for it. Hair is the strongest weapon I’ve got.]

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

[Hockey guys…this is the same thing as 5 minutes in a hockey game. It’s not rocket science…it’s easy math. 5 minutes in hockey, is 5 minutes in hockey. 5 minutes to get dressed, is 5 minutes to get dressed. What’s not to understand?

Well, if I have to play it out for you…how many timeouts, line changes, puck drops, commercial breaks, etc. take place within 5 minutes on the clock? 5 minutes of real time is what? 20 seconds off the clock? Enough said.]

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission Don’t Do It!

[How many men really go ahead? LOL. If you don’t want to hear “I told you so” don’t do it.]

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

[*sigh* If you hear me sigh very loudly…run. I don’t recommend sticking around to see what comes next unless you’re really looking for a death wish. Last guy to hear me sigh was some Indian guy on the bus trying to tell the bus driver off because he didn’t like his driving. The bus driver refused to move, turned the bus off and said that we’re sitting there until the Indian guy shut up. Stupid Indian guy wouldn’t shut up. I was tired, hungry and needed to get home.

The sigh came and the words followed. Indian guy was ready to turn around and tell me off, but took one look at me, apologized very quickly, sat down and shut up. Smart guy…]

(6) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

[What’s funny about this…when ex-rocker bf got a “That’s Okay” from me after he told me he wanted to work things out with some girl (and still stick with me)…10 months later, he thought I was moving to our new locale in California. He found out a week after I moved out there that there was a card in the mail thanking him for all of the times we had together. Then he got the email where I cc’d all of his friends that said, “I didn’t move to California. I moved to NYC.” Then I blocked his email so that he could never contact me again.

See what happens when you get that response…long, thought out process that’s going to royally screw you over.]

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ , that will bring on a ‘whatever’)

[Please, don’t ever say “You’re Welcome” after getting that sarcastic “Thanks a Lot!” unless you really are asking for a death wish.]

(8) Whatever : Is a woman’s way of saying GO TO HELL

[I use this a lot towards men that I think are idiots that are trying to pick me up with some stupid cheesy line and I’m really trying not to punch their lights out from the sheer annoyance accumulating when they haven’t taken the not so subtle hint when I say, “Please remove yourself from my presence NOW.”]

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

[I used this line on my boss recently…he got scared and begged me not to do it…]