On Friday, I wrote about how this site would change after July to reflect the new direction in my life.  I decided over the weekend that it was best to change the site now rather than later. 

I’m calling this “Running to Stand Still” for a reason.  For those who know the U2 song, “Running to Stand Still” has been the song that described me completely.  Every morning I’d wake up thinking, “I’ve got to do something about where we’re going.”  I wasn’t just talking about me, I was talking about humanity.

My entire life has been about running to something, but I had no idea where exactly I was running to. 

The song never really made too much sense until I was standing in the Sahara Desert, looking up at the stars.  Hamid had just laid the blanket down next to me so we could lay down and watch the stars.  He had already sat down when I realized that all I’ve been doing my entire life was running to stand still.  There I was…standing still under the stars…feeling God in every grain of sand and in the winds coming across the desert.  It was as if I was running towards God my entire life…just wanting to stand still in his presence.

There I was, standing still in his presence.  I turned to Hamid and then sat down next to him knowing why it took a decade for this moment to come. 

God knows what lingers in our souls.  I had lamented to God on multiple occasions that the kind of person I was looking for was someone I could connect with…as far as being able to connect with my soul. I needed someone like me, who looked through their soul when they looked out into the world.  I waited a very long time for that.  God had to send me all the way to the Sahara Desert to find him!

When I had asked Hamid why he had never married, he said that he was waiting for someone.  He was waiting for the right person to come along.  When he said that, I looked at him funny.  Why?  Because his reasons were the same as mine.  It’s then that you realize that you’ve found the missing part of your soul.

While I lament I had to go to the desert to find my other half, I’m sure he laments about how he had to fall in love with a girl from New York City!  I’m afraid to have him come to NYC because he told me how scared he was in Marrakech.  I told my friends that if Hamid followed me here (as required in Berber tradition), the poor man would have a heart attack the first time in Times Square.  So trust me, as much as I sit here and think…how in the world does a city girl fall in love with a nomad out in the desert, I’m sure he’s sitting there thinking…what kind of desert nomad falls in love with a girl from New York City?  WHO DOES THAT?

Well, apparently God works in mysterious ways.  You pray and wait long enough for a very tall demand, you fill up your good karma basket…and then one day you’ll eventually be able to spend it all on the love of your life.

I’m reminded of that Rumi poem, “The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.  Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they’re in each other all along.”

There’s a lot of truth to that saying.  For years, I was dreaming of Morocco.  I dreamt of living in a beautiful home with a doting husband and a beautiful family…just in complete and utter bliss.  I had this dream for years…always thinking of that ‘someday.’ 

I had no idea that the plan really had been all about Morocco from the start.  It’s so strange to hear Driss in the back of my mind telling me to look at the road map of my life…God was leading me somewhere.  I had just been running to stand still. 

So what will I be talking about here?  Stuff I’ve already started talking about.  I think my family and friends are going to want to know and understand this new journey.  Of course, my brother and I have been brainstorming how I’m going to break the “Muslim Arab” news to my Dad.  Either he is going to kill me or he’s going to die of a heart attack. 

I decided that maybe I would spring the whole Muslim Arab thing on my Dad when he goes to Morocco.  It’s one thing to tell someone, quite another to have them experience it for themselves.  I’d rather spring that his son-in-law is a Muslim Arab…when he gets there.  Hopefully, there will be no bloodshed at the news.  I think I’ll wait after my Dad has been in Morocco for a week before telling him.  May be the safest bet so that he can have a better understanding of my decision.  Sometimes you have to let God do his work before revealing the truth.  Got to kind of kick that blind faith thing out the window first so they can see the light shining in. 

I haven’t even told my Dad about Hamid.  I’m gonna wait a little while longer.  Maybe in a year. 

At any rate, I’m turning this site into the things going on as a new adventure begins and the hockey one ends.  I’ll also be talking about the things that I love and yeah…some sponsors did make their way onto the new site (and they’re not interested in hockey, just something else).  I’ll reveal the first one in a few weeks.

This site has officially phased out hockey.  You’ll need to go to Inside Hockey for anything hockey related from me.  

I also want to thank all of the big spenders at Bauble Bar this past week.  I ended up taking home three new necklaces thanks to all of the shoppers.  I hope you’re enjoying the 20 Days of Buried Baubles and have been ringing in your own free baubles.  Trust me, free baubles are just as exciting as buried ones.

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Ah, Marrakech…a city filled with absolute wonders.  We started off our tour in the Prime Minister’s old residence.  We found a variety of fruit trees from bananas to grapefruits to lemon trees.  The architecture is just phenomenal.

I even found a bookcase that I plan on having built when I move to Morocco (you’ll see it in the photos). 

While we were in the rooms that housed the Qur’an school for the boys, my guide explained to me that the reason why the design on the walls looked like an upside down doorway, it is used to symbolize life’s up and downs.  Just trace your finger along the outside of the pattern.  You can see the symbolism as your finger runs down and then up again.  It’s a nice little lesson to teach children…that life is filled with ups and downs, which means that even when things look bad, you have to remember that it’s only a moment because life will always pick back up again.

Nice little lesson to learn from just a design on the wall, right?

One of the coolest photos that I caught was a cat in the open courtyard.  This part of the residence is closed off to tourists.  I saw one of the workers walk by and then a cat followed. The cat then sat down in the perfect spot.  I was able to take a photo of all of the columns and the cat sitting nearby. 

You’ll also find a few pictures of a gigantic nest with a big bird in it.  That is a STORK.  {A sign of good luck in some cultures.}  While we were viewing the tombs of the princes, my guide pointed to the window up above.  You could see the stork right through the window.  Talk about a rare moment.

Across the street from the tombs, we stopped into a Aux 100,000 Epices.  What I loved most about the shop were all of the jars lined up against the wall with all of the different plants in an array of colors.  It was so beautiful.

Afterwards, the guys dropped me off at Jardin Majorelle.  This was the first time they ever left me anywhere by myself.  Granted, it was a good place to recollect my thoughts and forget about what happened right before. 

Before we went to the gardens, a business owner tried to kiss me and feel me up TWICE.  Well, Driss and my guide were madder than I was when I told them what happened.  They drove me to the gardens and dropped me off.  I have no idea where they went after that. 

I was more worried they were going to go back there and take care of the problem (after I told them not to).  I was afraid I would be stuck in Marrakech with my driver and guide in jail or something…

Luckily, that’s not what happened. 

What amazes me about the photos from Jardin Majorelle…they’re the best photos of the entire trip.  My friends always say that I try to look for the beauty in the moment when I take photos.  Imagine being in a frazzled state trying to find beauty in the moment…and for some strange reason that’s all you saw (and the camera reflects it). 

Jardin Majorelle was built by Jacques Majorelle.  In 1924 he began the landscape for the gardens.  In 1947, he opened the garden to the public.  He died in 1962.  Yves Saint Laurent bought Jardin Majorelle along with Pierre Berge.  The Foundation Pierre Berge – Yves Saint Laurent continues the garden’s existence. 

You’ll find a special column in the garden as a memoriam to Yves Saint Laurent. 

What I also love about Rue Yves Saint Laurent…all of the shops along the street have a touch of fashion couture in each and every shop.  It’s very reminiscent of Sex & The City 2 when the Arab women take off their robes to reveal their high end couture clothes underneath.  Yes, I felt like jumping up and down for joy when I saw the latest lines from the Paris runways in these shops in Morocco.  Only on Rue Yves Saint Laurent!

In the souks, I was able to pick up a silver tea kettle with a Berber pattern.  The guide had the business owner throw in 3 Moroccan crystal glasses.  At another shop, a man made me a good luck charm (he’s in the pictures…he made the wooden good luck charm with his feet…it looks like a pawn chess piece).  I ended up giving the good luck charm to Driss.

I picked up a few wooden boxes with intricate designs on them.  One for me and one for one of my friends.  As a gift, the business owner gave me two wooden camels.  I kind of like the free gifts I got in Marrakech better than the items I actually paid for. 

I always like meeting the people that made the things that I bought in Morocco.  It makes the purchases even more special, because everyone has a story.  When you know the story that went into each piece you bought…it makes the piece even more special.

Here are the last of the photos from Morocco.

Song of the moment…

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After Josef dropped me off back in Erfoud, Driss drove us to Todra Gorges.  The beautiful valleys in the High Atlas Mountains delivered the backdrop to the most beautiful oasis you’ll ever see.  The oasis stretches for miles upon miles alongside the great Atlas Mountains.

We caught a mountain climber trying to scale the 600 feet high walls of the Todra Gorges.  It gave for a great opportunity to take a different kind of photo.  I can’t remember where Driss told me the climber was from.  I think he was Dutch or something…

Everywhere you look in the gorge, you’ll find names etched or spray painted into the mountain walls.  This is a beautiful place where people just want the world to know, “I was here.” 

That evening, Driss dropped me off at Xaluca Dades…one of the most amazing suites I’ve ever stayed in.  The terrace to my room offered an amazing view of the town below with the Atlas Mountains against the skyline.

At this part of my trip, I was starting to get really ill (the illness was not related to Morocco…it was from the cigarette smoke in Paris).  It was in Xaluca Dades that I wrote about Hamid and our magical night.  Relaying bits of the story on to the tourists over breakfast the next morning, all I could see was that the story had to be told and retold.  Not too many love stories are that magical.  The way the women (and men) sighed at the tale of my night with Hamid told me that I had to write the story. 

After breakfast, we headed off to Ouarzazate along the Route of 1000 Kasbahs. 

Ouarzazate…that’s where Gladiator, Prince of Persia and Lawrence of Arabia were filmed.  Ouarzazate is actually very important in this journey through Morocco.  Why?  Because it was the setting from Gladiator that had me dreaming that one day I would go to Morocco.

Imagine that feeling when you’re standing in the exact spot where Russell Crowe was filming one of the most important films that would help inspire a dream within your soul.  That is how important Ouarzazate is on this journey.

Right now, Ouarzazate is #1 on my list of places I will probably end up moving to in Morocco.  In April, I’ll be making my final decision.  Why Ouarzazate?  It’s the Hollywood of Morocco.  It’s at the top of my list because a) it’s near Hamid, b) it’s near the sand dunes, and c) if I need a job, I can always work in film…especially when an American film company comes to town.

It’s also the halfway point between Erfoud and Marrakech.  That means that I can have the best of both worlds…the desert and the big city.  BUT once again, we’ll decide in April where I’m moving.  I may end up in Rabat or at some other coastal town if the sea calls to me more. 

Standing in the same spot as where Gladiator was filmed was surreal.  You can’t help but think…that film was the reason why I went to Morocco to begin with.  There was something about those Moroccan scenes that kept calling to me…telling me to go to Morocco.  The movie planted the seed in my mind…and it grew for the next decade. 

If you look at the timing…I fell in love the day before with a nomad.  The next day I’m realizing I didn’t just fall in love with a nomad…I fell in love with Morocco.  That love for Morocco is much deeper and more incredible than just falling for some guy.

I became connected with Morocco in ways that you cannot even imagine.  I believe Paulo Coelho calls it connecting with the soul of the world.  That was what was happening while I was standing in the same place that called to me years before.  I fell in love with Morocco in the same place I heard Morocco calling for me from a scene in Gladiator.

I saw Gladiator 3 times in the movie theater.  I didn’t think I would like it when I first saw it.  My friends would go to the midnight showing.  I’d fall asleep after that scene from Morocco.  I went to the movie just for that scene (and to see that fine looking man, Russell Crowe). 

Would you believe that a few months after Gladiator, I was watching Russell Crowe at the House of Blues in Chicago with my mom?  He dedicated “Somebody Else’s Princess” to me.  Why?  Because I was humiliated to be a woman at that show.  There was so much estrogen in that room…the way the women were acting…I was embarrassed to be a woman.

Crowe noticed my embarrassment.  He had just had a pair of panties thrown at his head.  He was pissed.  But then he saw me and saw how disgusted I was at that display.  He pointed right at me and said, “This next song’s for you.”

My mom still talks about that moment to this day! 

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This, of course, was a month before 9/11.  You know…that day that changed the lives of so many people.  That day was the day that I realized that life is short…we have to pursue our dreams and do everything we can to make our dreams a reality.

I guess the point in talking about Gladiator and Russell Crowe…dreams start with a moment.  The seed was planted.  It began as a dream of a place far away.  I kept seeing myself married with a family in a kasbah or riad in Morocco.  I dreamt of Morocco for a very long time.  I kept saying, “Someday.” 

Someday finally came and I not only made a dream come true, but I found myself there.  My soul finally felt like it had gone home.  Now, all I can think about is the moment I can get back there.  Morocco started calling for me while I was watching Gladiator…and it was in that exact spot I saw in the movie that I knew I was home.

Without ado…here are the last of the photos before we hit Marrakech.  Oh, and the collage of photos of Crowe…that’s the spot where they filmed Gladiator.  They have a sign there with all of the photos posted.  Guess you can say that the movie is still a great reminder of a great movie there in Morocco.  For me, it just made me realize the journey I’ve been on and how I had finally come home.

I want to thank everyone for sending me emails and tweets about yesterday’s post.  I didn’t write it for ME…I wrote it for someone else.  He knows who he is.  I just thought he’d like to know how things have changed and progressed and how he could find some tips for his wife.

I have been through all of the stages of cancer before.  I have healed before (i.e. the cancer went dormant).  The first time around seems so much simpler than now. I think now there’s just the added bonus of a serious side effect that occurred during my surgery.  Imagine having a toxic lung filled with chlorine bleach thrown into the mix.  The only reason why it happened was because I had a history of cancer.  I went into the surgery with healthy lungs, came out of surgery a few hours later with lungs similar to that of a 20 year smoker.  That was what reawakened the cancer in a very bad way.

So this time around, the tested and true methods of diet, exercise and a lot of rest doesn’t work so well this time.  I sure as hell wished it did.  It’s because of the different symptoms and the different ailment (with the lung) that has me searching for new methods.  I mean…how do you heal a toxic lung?  The only thing they’ve done is given me an inhaler and said to use that because the medicine seems to ease the lung for a little while.  It’s not a cure; it’s just an aid.

For those who are recently diagnosed with cancer, I strongly suggest 1) going green with your cleaning and ridding your homes of all toxic chemicals; 2) using only stainless steel and cast iron while cooking, ridding your kitchen of plastic dishes, etc.; 3) switching to a clean diet (see the magazine “Clean Eating”); 4) resting every chance your body says to; 4) focusing on being happy; 5) meditating.

There has been a very strong link to curing cancer through inner peace (believe it or not).  I believe Princeton came out with a scientific study on the healing benefits of meditation.

For those in NYC, I highly recommend seeing the Brahma Kumaris at the NY Meditation Center just a couple of blocks away from Madison Square Garden.  They will teach you how to meditate and then help you move on to spiritual understanding. 

In order to give your body a fighting chance you need to rid your environment of everything that is toxic.  That includes the toxins in your environment, in your food, in your mind and in your emotions.  Clean it all out.

There are homeopathic medicines out there that have helped many cancer patients in the past.  While there are some people that swear by it, I’m not sold on it.  Although, they are worth a listen so that you can learn more about plants and their healing properties, as well as learn more about fruits and vegetables that will aid in the healing process. 

I’ve been drinking a special Moroccan tea since October that has helped relieve a lot of my symptoms…including the issues I have with my breathing.  You can order it here: Aux 100,000 Epices.  I drink both the Menthe Thé and the Le Savon au Thé Vert.  The site is completely in French, but it’s simple to figure out. 

{I have a feeling I’m going to have to set up a Berber Shop in Manhattan soon…}

At any rate, I just wanted to thank everyone for their pointers and tidbits and the get well wishes.  Like I said, it wasn’t for me.  I wasn’t discussing it to get a sympathy card.  It was written to help someone else.  I’m kind of used to being sick all of the time, that’s why I don’t talk about it so much.

I also wanted to add something else…I’ve been getting a lot of emails from a lot of different companies requesting partnerships, etc.  Because of the direction my life is going, I am not partnering up with anyone.  This blog will completely change when I move to Morocco.  It will also change when the books are released.  This site will either close or move in an entirely new direction.  That change will happen in July. 

That being said, I see no reason why I would partner up with anyone for ‘hockey’ reasons when I am very adamant about this being my final season covering hockey.  My career and life are changing.

Whether I keep this blog after I move to Morocco remains to be seen.  The Twitter account will be coming down when I move.  There’s no reason to keep it up considering there’s hardly any WiFi in Morocco! 

But one thing is for sure…it will no longer be Hockey & Musings if I keep the blog…the title will change because I will no longer be covering hockey anymore. 

While I appreciate all of the interest…you guys are just four years too late.  I’m retiring from hockey.  I’m not a new person to this.  I have over 1000 published articles.  It’s time for me to move on to a new phase that reflects the new path in my life.  The hockey part of my journey is just coming to an end.   

That being said, I wanted to give one last thank you.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about for some time.  I want to thank the New York Rangers for being a huge part of my existence in New York.  When I think about my time in New York, I think about how the Rangers have made my time in this grand city a great moment.  They’ve treated me so well over the years that I can’t help but think that they are the greatest.

Some of the greatest moments and opportunities I have had in this city came from the Rangers.  When I think of how I got to see Joe Frazier…that was because of the Rangers.  I got to meet so many Ranger greats over the years…because of the Rangers.  I got to have the best moments of my life in this city…because of the Rangers.  They’ve treated me so well…you would think I was a Rangers princess with how well they’ve treated me over the years.  I just want to say Thank You.  You’ve made my fond memories of New York City the best memories I’ve had in this lifetime.  It makes my time in New York City seem so much more special.  I’ll miss the Rangers and MSG the most. 

That’s not the fan talking…that’s the New Yorker in me talking.  They gave me New York City on a silver platter…they’ve made this part of the journey an amazing one.  So thank you, New York Rangers…THANK YOU.

I want to close with this special Tiffany & Co. Christmas story.  You can only find it online HERE.  {I asked already, you can’t buy the book.  You can only read it online.}

1.  20 Days of Buried Baubles!  My favorite lust jewelry site is Bauble Bar.  It’s always nice getting a box from them every week with my brand new bauble that I scored for $10 during their Buried Bauble Fridays.  Each week along with my brand new bauble, they would always include a personalized thank you note from their founders (handwritten!).  That’s what I love about them.  They have the best customer service on the planet.

Bauble Bar has become so popular, they are now in every single fashion magazine (including the front pages of Vogue).  Celebrities from Gwyneth Paltrow to Justin Bieber to Jennifer Lopez are all sporting Bauble Bar’s exclusive jewelry.  Even the girls of Gossip Girl are wearing Bauble Bar jewelry.

The popularity of their Buried Bauble Fridays has gone absolutely insane…especially now that they are doing a special 20 days of Buried Baubles during the month of December.  Each morning starting at 10AM, go to their BLOG to find the Buried Bauble clues.  Somewhere on their site, they’ve hidden their $10 Buried Bauble.  Just click on the jewelry and if it’s the Buried Bauble, it will inform you that it is.  Just scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the “Buried Bauble” picture.  It will then take you to the special screen where you can order your $10 bauble.  Sometimes…you can order it in more than one color!

Now, this is why I LOVE BAUBLE BAR.  When you become a regular member, every time you order, you get 1 credit.  Every time you refer a friend and they order, you get a credit (and I’m talking about every single time they order, you get a credit and they get a credit).  After 5 credits, you can start shopping the vault for free baubles.  They have free baubles for 5 credits and 10 credits. 

A lot of my favorite pieces have come from the vault…those are also the pieces I get the most compliments on. I always love telling people that I got it for free from Bauble Bar. 🙂

Now, I should mention that Bauble Bar only sells highly qualitative jewelry which just so happens to be very affordable.  For those looking to build a new jewelry wardrobe without spending a fortune…Bauble Bar is your answer, especially when you take advantage of their Buried Bauble promotions.  Thanks to them, I have amassed an amazing jewelry collection that I get compliments on every single day.  Here’s that invite code to buy and earn baubles:  BAUBLE BAR.

Enjoy…because the secret is kind of out about Bauble Bar.

{You call follow Bauble Bar on Twitter: @BaubleBar}

2.  Gold Glitter Ballet Flats.  At first, I didn’t see what all the hype was about.  Everyone was doing DIY gold glitter ballet flats on their blogs to lower the costs of owning a pair…I just didn’t get it.  Why does everyone want a pair of gold glitter ballet flats? 

But then something about the sparkly stuff got to me.  I ended up at the Manhattan Mall one day last week where I stopped into Charlotte Russe.  I not only found a black pair of glitter ballet flats, but I also scored a pair of gold ones!  It’s a buy one, get the second pair for $15.50.  Technically, that’s cheaper than most girls’ DIY projects. 

Yes, I am in love with these shoes (and they’re very comfy).  So now I get it…

3.  My First Rebecca Minkoff M.A.B.  I blame Gilt Groupe for this splurge.  My first fashion show ever was a Rebecca Minkoff show.  I was in love with her bags.  I wore Karl Lagerfeld to her show and noticed some fashion industry guys remarking on my outfit.  {I hope it was good!}

Owning a Rebecca Minkoff bag was a bit of a dream…until Gilt had their big Minkoff sale on their site!  I was pondering a $359 splurge on one Morning After Bag (MAB), and then I saw a picture down at the bottom of another MAB that wasn’t listed on the main page.  It was $159!  That’s almost the same price as my BCBGeneration bag I purchased at full retail.  I didn’t contemplate for too long.  What were the odds that I’d find a MAB for $159?  I quickly headed to my cart and bought my first Rebecca Minkoff MAB. 

To me, it was fate to own that bag.  I kept scrolling through and looking at the main Minkoff sale page…the bag wasn’t there.  It only appeared as a suggestion while looking at the $359 MAB!  To me, that’s like finding a buried bauble! 

One week later and I’m carrying that bag around with a huge smile on my face. 

I noticed this morning on the train another woman looking at my Minkoff MAB.  She was looking at it the same way I used to look at other women carrying a Rebecca Minkoff MAB.  She noticed that I saw her, so she quickly looked away, then she looked at her big tote that you get for free with purchase with some brand of parfum.  Yeah…I know that feeling.  That “some day I’ll own a Rebecca Minkoff MAB” kind of feeling. 

With luck…it could be yours one day when you find that lucky chance that a bag pops up at the bottom of the page boasting a price tag you can afford.

As a FYI to Christmas shoppers, click on the Gilt links above (if you’ve never tried out their site before).  You can get 20% off your first purchase at Gilt.  If the girls at Conde Nast are crazy about this site, you should be too if you’re a fashionista (or aspiring to be one).  I’ve bought a lot of home stuff from Gilt in the past…as well as shoes and bags.  They also fuel my passion for Plenty by Tracy Reese.  They actually make Tracy Reese much more affordable (i.e. I’m spending $45-$60 per item rather than $300 per item).

This site has stuff for women, men, children, foodies, social bunnies, and jetsetters.  It’s a MUST!  I mean…if Sean Avery has procured his own collection for the site, it must have some sort of NHL approval rating for the hockey realm, right?

{You can find Rebecca Minkoff on Twitter: @RebeccaMinkoff (great way to find out about deals and giveaways); and Gilt at @GiltGroupe}

4.  A Turkey Roaster Every Home Should Have.  I did something I’ve never done before…I baked a turkey (the day after Thanksgiving).  Considering I only have a conventional oven, I tried to buy a small turkey at first, but then I saw in the Target flyer that their turkey roasters were on sale…like you could bake an 18 pound turkey in that roaster. 

I thought…well, why not?  I ordered one from Kmart using Ebates cash back program (you get a percentage of your purchase back by clicking the Kmart link from their page) and my Shopper’s Rewards card from Kmart (probably one of the best shopper loyalty cards out there).  After all was said and done, I picked up my turkey roaster for $33.  I selected in-store pickup, ran down to Penn Station and picked up the roaster. 

You can cook a turkey in half the time it would take to cook a turkey in a regular oven.  It turns out moist (even if you overcook it to be safe).  Usually you have to defrost a turkey before you cook it so that it will be done in time.  I threw a 5 pound frozen turkey in and it was done in 30 minutes.  NO JOKE. 

Granted, the only downside is that the appliance is pretty huge, but if you’re cooking an 18 pound turkey, it’s a perfect size.  Cooking your turkey in a tabletop roaster also allows you to free up your oven to bake other things.

I think this roaster was the smartest kitchen investment I’ve ever made. 

{A note on Ebates…I highly recommend using this site when you shop online.  You can get a percentage of your money back from your purchases at just about every site you’re probably shopping at already.  Every quarter, you get a check with all of your earnings.  I started using this site 6 months ago and received $30 back already, plus a $10 gift card to Target (which came in very handy during Thanksgiving).  It’s a nice way to save a little extra money.  Also, when you refer people, you can make even more extra cash.  In this economy…every single penny counts!}

5.  Stripes and Sequins.  From my favorite Bauble Bar Twitter girl comes her very own blog…that I stalk just as much as I do Bauble Bar.  Stripes and Sequins talks about everything a girl loves.  Being as she’s from Bauble Bar too, you’ll find DIY ways to create your own jewelry and fashion pieces.

Right now, she’s listing her top gifts for just about everyone that could be on your Christmas list.  I think the perfect gifts for me (HINT, HINT) would be from her Jetsetter list (since I’m always traveling).  Thanks to her lists, I decided that my boss was getting me the Rebecca Minkoff M.A.C. Laptop Case.  Something about sparkly stuff has got me wishing for everything shiny and sparkly for Christmas this year.  I also blame Grace for my need to own a pair of gold glitter ballet flats.  Scroll through her blog…you’ll understand.  She’s a very strong influence on my shopping habits…

What can I say?  The girl has superior taste.

{You can follow Grace on Twitter: @gracecatwood}

I’m not going to say WHO, but I will say WHAT…I noticed yesterday a few hits to my site pertaining to someone I know whose wife has the same cancer as me.  It’s not in the news…I checked.  But I do find it interesting that this NHL guy remembered I had done a post on “The Pink Elephant In The Room.”  It was a post where I announced a few years back what I’ve been struggling with since 2008…a reawakened cancer.

I haven’t really spoken too much about it since then.  Actually, I just don’t talk about it period.  I just look at each and every day like there is no tomorrow.  There is only today.

I’m actually glad that this person (that this post is for today) went looking for that post from a few years back.  It gave me an opportunity to re-read what was happening in my life then.  It also gave me a moment to reflect on how the past has helped to shape the future, i.e. my present day.

Back then, I was just discovering how important it was to go green.  My home has to be 100% green now.  In other words, only all natural products are used to clean my home.  Now, I’m not talking about those green cleaners you buy at the store.  Cleaners don’t have to list all of their ingredients.  Ergo, steer clear of green cleaners.  I use vinegar, water, baking soda and lemon juice (and essential oils) to mix my own all-natural and non-toxic cleaners.  The only green cleaner I will purchase is dish soap.  You can find a lot of recipes for green cleaning online.  Also, I’m still an adamant supporter of the book “Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning” by Deirdre Imus.  If you have cancer, this is a must.  It not only teaches you how to go green at home, but it also explains how toxins in our environment aggravates and worsens cancer.

After I went green at home, I noticed that there was a huge change (especially in being able to breathe).  I could physically feel the change within 3-4 months.  It was a very good positive change.  Vinegar is my cure-all from cleaning to getting that warped heat stain out of my kitchen table to making the mirrors and windows shine to calming my stomach and using it as a cure-all in my foot bath to cure/prevent everything from cracked heels, nail fungus and even athlete’s foot.

The all-natural route has helped keep the toxins in my environment out of my home and out of my body.  I even take my clothes to a green dry cleaner to dry clean my clothes.

I’ve greened up my kitchen, taking out plastic and replacing them with glass, ceramic, stainless steel, cast iron, and bamboo products.  At the grocery store, I aim to buy all organic, chemical and antibiotic free meats, organic fruits/vegetables, organic dairy products made from local farms (like Stonyfield) and I try to limit processed foods. 

I subscribed to a magazine put out by Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. called “Clean Eating.”  Learning to eat clean has actually helped my budget, as well as taught me what types of food will help my body.

I’ve tried to do the five small meals a day and that’s a very hard thing for me to do.  It’s borderline torture to do that to myself.  I can’t eat that quickly, because by the time I finish one meal, it’s an hour or two later and I’m supposed to start on a new meal.  My doctor recommended that I just eat the two to three bites that I can, then wait the two hours.  That resulted in 300 calories per day.  You’re supposed to have a mandatory 800 calories a day in order for your body to function properly, so that little plan didn’t work when the red flags popped up across the board and they tried to admit me into the emergency room.  Trust me, they took all of the tests two times and they all came back in the RED ZONE both times. 

Over these past few years I’ve really had to re-learn how to eat.  If I could have my way, I’d live on coffee and be happy.  Now, I have to limit my coffee intake, boost protein by eating more eggs, fish and chicken.  No tofu or soy products.  Limited to ZERO bad starches.  I eat more dairy, but it can only be organic.  I eat greek yogurt.  I eat fruit only two times a week.  If I eat carbs, they are limited to only two times a week.  I eat veggies every chance I can get!

Trust me, I’m very limited in what I can eat, but I do find a way…or I elect to not eat.  It’s that latter part that usually gets me yelled at.  Lately, when I go out with the girls, I order soup.  It’s hot, it’s liquid and a little easier to get down (most of the time).  When I travel, I usually look for a grocery store and load up on things I can eat like tuna or nuts.  But most of all, I have to just listen to what my body is telling me to eat.  I let it tell me what it needs.

It took a while to tune in to the needs of my body.  I prefer to make my own meals because I know what’s going into the meal and I’ll sneak difficult foods into the dish like grated apples or mangoes…foods that usually induce vomiting if eaten the regular way.

But most of all…the practice of clean eating has helped me to have more good days than bad days.  I’m lucky because even if I don’t cook my own meals, I have access to a cafe where the chef uses the most qualitative organic ingredients in everything he makes.  I also have access to Fresh & Co.  The guys down there have been so great.  They’ve given away so many great free meals to me.  I love those guys there.

Do I eat clean all of the time?  No, not all of the time.  When I go out, it is a little hard to find a certified organic restaurant.  Those kinds of restaurants are very limited anywhere you go in the world.  So that means that I have to make good choices when dining out.

In Morocco, I ordered chicken tajine citron every single day.  I tried to have fish when I could.  I had rice a couple of times.  They made eggs for me every morning.  Everything in Morocco is all-natural.  There are no preservatives or toxins or antibiotics used.  Trust me, I asked before eating anything.

Back in 2009, I talked about not being able to work out.  That still rings true today.  I still get up in the morning and do what I can.  I do a mile every morning…walking or running.  Lately, because I had too much exposure to cigarette smoke in Europe, I’ve been limited to walking again because my lung has been having extreme difficulties.

Speaking of my lung, back then, we were just discovering what happened to my lung.  Today, it still hurts.  I still have problems breathing.  I’ve started making sure I stop when the lung is panicking.  I wait for it to kick in and realize that it’s getting air before pressing onward.  For me, that has been really hard.  It’s like admitting defeat.  Once upon a time I was strong.  I could keep up with the New York Rangers in the gym.  Now, I can’t even walk up a hill without the lung saying, “WTF?!” while going into uber shock…threatening to malfunction and stop.

It’s because the lung has panicked, malfunctioned and stopped that I now stop when I feel the first signs of that panic.  Trust me, I’ve blacked out in the middle of the street twice because I pressed on.  It’s scary.  The lesson I learned here was a hard one…I have to stop and listen to my body.

When I feel that ‘cancer’ feeling, I have to stop.  That feeling is no joke.  Sometimes I end up having to lay down and sleep for hours and hours.  Other times, my body demands that I eat something like spinach or tomatoes.  Whatever it needs, I have to do exactly what it tells me to do…or I’ll have a doctor in front of me saying that they are admitting me into the emergency room…in a non-green hospital.  {For a list of the top 10 green hospitals, CLICK HERE}

I actually know right now that I’ve graduated into the next phase.  I’ve been through all of the phases before.  The first time I had it, the doctor said she would have given me two weeks to live if they didn’t operate right then and there. 

I am very vocal about not taking drugs or doing chemo/radiation.  I refuse to have doctors pollute my body with toxins to ‘cure’ this cancer.  This cancer is hereditary.  My grandfather died in 2007 of the same cancer.  I’ve had 5 different doctors inform me that I will have cancer for the rest of my life.  It’s a matter of it being dormant or awake. 

I don’t believe that radiation or chemotherapy will help me.  I decided on taking an all-natural route.

When I was in Morocco, I was very open about the fact that I had cancer.  When I got ill…I had to explain that it was cancer related.  If I couldn’t eat…it was cancer related, not because I was trying to starve myself to be thin.  That cough…it’s cancer related because the cigarette smoke aggravated my lung.  My lung is sick due to it absorbing chlorine bleach vapors (like a sponge) during my surgery in 2008.  That is a side effect for people with cancer.  I almost died on the table because of this.  Since then, my lung hasn’t worked right.

I have never smoked a cigarette before in my entire life, but after the surgery, the nurse told me that my lungs were now that of a person who had been smoking for over 20 years.  That should tell you how bad my lungs are now…and I’ve NEVER smoked a cigarette a day in my life!  That is what chlorine bleach vapors did to my lungs.  That should also tell you how toxic chlorine bleach, as well as other toxic cleaners, are to people with cancer.

One of the main reasons why I’m moving to Morocco is because of the latest findings…both mine and from scientists.  I’ve already talked about my findings, but I also read recently that mole rats from the Sahara Desert cannot get cancer…even when injected with the strain multiple times.  Regular rats (not from the Sahara) can.  That led me to think…wait…mole rats and Berber Nomads from the Sahara Desert can’t get cancer…there must be something in the Sahara that prevents them from getting cancer.

It’s either a plant that they are eating, or it’s a lifestyle, or something about the Sahara (she is a very magical place) that prevents people and animals from getting serious illnesses.  What if the cure is there? 

Moving to Morocco…I’m doing it to give my body a fighting chance.  I’m lucky that the guy I fell in love with is a Berber medicine man too (and will help me through the illness).  It’s a learning curve for him (because cancer is a new illness to him), but he’s already tried out a few of his methods to help with a few of the symptoms…and it has worked. 

Perhaps there’s something tied in with how peaceful everyone is there…I’ve heard that people that have found complete inner peace have been healed from cancer.  I don’t know, but I’m going there myself to figure it all out.  Whatever I find, maybe it will help me, and in turn help others searching for a cure.

As for the book, I’m glad said NHL person was looking at that old post again.  It kind of reminded me that there was a journey…and cancer has been a huge part of finding happiness.  Like Driss said to me, “look back on your life…connect the dots…it’s very apparent God was leading you somewhere…to this very moment.”

All I can say is “Losing 100 Pounds of Unhappiness” is not ending the way you would think it would.  It’s ending in a way that will change the way you look at everything in life.  This journey really was about Losing Unhappiness in the end…the results of this project…not what I ever expected it to be.  The result is what changed my life forever and made me decide that I’m moving to Morocco and onto the next stage in my life.

Having cancer taught me to find strength when I was weak.  It taught me to listen to ME.  It helped me to find a more spiritual grounding with God.  Granted, it also pushed my mind into a whole new realm of awakening that helped me look at life in a new way. 

Cancer taught me to be brave and to be fearless.  It humbled me and scared me.  It’s taught me to admit to my own defeats, knowing that feeling defeated doesn’t meant that it has destroyed me, because I’m still standing. 

I also learned to live each day as if it is was my last.  Do anything and everything you’ve ever dreamed of doing, because you want to have a life filled with meaning.  You want to leave your mark in this world somehow…even if it is just touching the life of someone else for just a brief second…it’s that second they will remember for the rest of their life.

Lastly, cancer taught me how to live.  At the time I was first diagnosed and had the tumors removed, I had just left the rockstar.  Three months after being in NYC, I was lying on a table having three tumors removed from my back.  It took me five years to tell the rockstar what had happened after I left.  That was a difficult pill for him to swallow. 

There are times that I look at my idiot family and think…if I told them I have had cancer all of these years…would they be nicer to me?  But I look at my little brother and think…why do I even care?  All I care about is being happy.  That is more important to me than worrying about whether someone likes me or not.  If they do…they’ll tell me.  If they don’t…I don’t care.  I just want to surround myself in the things in life that matter.  Happiness is the number one thing.

Living life means being happy.  Who wants to live a shitty life?  Live life to its fullest.  Do everything you’ve dreamed of doing.  That’s what it means to live.  Write out that bucket list if you have to…make your dreams come true.  That’s what I found to be the meaning to live.

I found this quote…it describes 100% why I feel it is important for me to move to Morocco…it’s where I felt at home.

Going home means getting comfortable being who you are and who your soul really wants to be. There is no strain with that. The strain and tension come when we’re not being who our soul wants to be and we’re someplace where our soul doesn’t feel at home.

Melody Beattie, “Finding Your Way Home”

After the Rangers game on Saturday, I ended up on a train that was jam packed with people.  There was a group of kids and their chaperones that had gone into the city for the day.  One of the chaperones was a Muslim woman. 

She and the other woman kept going on and on about how rude it was of us (that were sitting) not to get up and give up our seats for them.  No one was elderly.  No one was pregnant.  They tried to say it was a white thing and that we lacked manners. 

The Muslim woman kept going on and on making racist comments. 

You know…I sat there looking at her with a confused look on my face.  I didn’t understand her point.  I also didn’t understand why a Muslim woman was a) making racist comments and b) spreading hate.  I kind of had to sit there and wonder if hate was just an American thing, because the hate she was preaching (very loudly) was not conducive of the Muslim culture…let alone a woman speaking so loudly who is Muslim.

I kind of sat there thinking that this woman apparently does not understand Islam. 

As I was watching the first three seasons of Weeds this weekend, there was also a Muslim man that was on the show.  I even sat there thinking…that is not the Nation of Islam.  That is not how they act.  It is inappropriate.

Then I had to wonder…is this just an American thing?

I wasn’t about to school a Muslim woman on how to be a proper Muslim, but I felt like telling her to go to Africa at some time in her life.  Maybe she’ll understand that the Nation of Islam does not practice hate.  It is forbidden.  I mean…it is forbidden to the point that people fear that God will ravage them with plagues if they act out of line just once or do anything that is not loving.

But try telling a woman who is racist to visit Africa sometime.  I can just see that not going over very well. 

Maybe it is just an American thing…this hate.  I don’t like seeing people embrace religion because of their skin color or as a right to hate.  It’s not what religion was designed for.  All I can say is that if you practice hate…you’re not following God.  The Quran specifically says in the first section…you are practicing the ways of the evil one if you practice hate.  You’re not following God. 

For the Christians…I could easily point out everything in the New Testament that says “God IS love.”  If God is love and he’s not hate, then you better be embracing the former rather than the latter.  You embrace something God is NOT…then well, your soul will have to answer to that. 

There was also something that the men of Morocco requested I write about when it comes to being Muslim.  They wanted me to help people in America understand that they are not terrorists.  Terrorism is about politics, not religion. 

The problems in Israel and Palestine…it’s politics.  It has ZERO to do with religion.  It’s the governments and politicians that lead people to believe it’s about religion.  Ask the Muslims and the Jews from there and they’ll grow sad and tell you it has nothing to do with religion.  It has everything to do with politics.  The people that write the stories just bill it as dysfunction between two religions trying to co-exist together.  It’s called FALSE PROPAGANDA.

Muslims are peaceful and loving people.  They live each and every single day for God, not for themselves.  They practice being good and loving.  They take care of everyone in a loving and kind way.  They do not practice hate, because they would be embracing the ways of the evil one if they were to do so.  They only practice love, because that is God’s way.

You have to experience being in their land in order to understand that this is the way that they live.  This is who they are.

For me to see hate or racism embraced inside the Muslim faith in America…that’s not a true Muslim.  That’s just someone using a religion for their own personal reasons.  You see it in every religion.  It’s like bending religion to your own whims to protect you…as if you have a right to do evil because you are from X, Y and Z religion. 

In a Muslim Arab country…you would be stoned to death if you tried to do something as stupid as that.  You obey the rules or miss out on the true meaning of what God is all about. 

There’s also another misconception that people have of Islam.  People that are not Muslim think that Allah is not the same as God.  No, it’s the same God.  Just like the French call God “Dieu”, the Arabic word for God is “Allah.”  It’s the same God.

The Islam faith is based on Judaism and Christianity.  They just have another book called the Quran and another messenger.  Just like there was Moses and Jesus, there was also Mohammed.  They were all messengers of God.  That is how they look at it…they are messengers.  They did not make Mohammed into a golden calf like some religions have done to certain messengers.

It’s like taking Judaism and Christianity to another level by adding in additional rules and understanding to what the previous two religions needed more explanations on, as well as additional rules to make them better followers of God.  It was designed to correct the errors of understanding and elaborate more on what the prior messengers of God had given to the people. 

Islam would be nothing without the prior two religions.  Just think of them as Jews and Christians, but stricter in their faith and cause to God. 

Remember…if you practice hate…you’re not practicing God’s ways.  That is a concept that I heard repeated many times…it’s also written very clearly in the Quran.

I also want to dispel a myth from some propaganda I saw released years ago after 9/11.  Nowhere at the start of the Quran does it say death to Christians and anyone that doesn’t believe in Islam.  That’s fictitious.  I have an official copy of the Quran at home, translated into English and that is not what it says at all. 

I also went around Morocco having the guide translate the Quran written on the walls to me.  It always starts off bissmillah…IN THE NAME OF GOD…the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful…

It actually begins naming all of the names of God.  I believe they said there were 70+ names.  Here’s an English translation of the first page of the Quran.  You’ll see that it doesn’t say anything about death to Christians.  It asks God to lead them on the path that is in his favor, and not on a path that leads away from him. 

Sometimes you just have to leave America to see how much propaganda bullshit is in this country.  Did you know that England still prints that 9/11 was an inside job?  You say that in America and what happens?  Lots of bad, bad, bad things…

Step outside of America and learn about America.  You’ll find that the world isn’t so hateful, but they do look at America like everyone is a complete idiot ruled by a machine of lies. 

Seek the truth and you will find it.

Note: Radical Islam is not a religion or group that is acknowledged by the majority of Muslims.  Radical Islamists do not represent what the Quran is truly about.  The way it was described to me is that this group practices hate, therefore they are not part of the Nation of Islam.  They follow evil…and it is in pure violation of the Quran and the Muslim faith.  Most Muslim men scoff at the mention of this group and are very quick to point out that these people are not men of God, nor are they Muslim. 

There are also PSAs on televisions as well as billboards telling people not to join these groups.  It’s like any PSA on how drugs are bad for you, drinking and driving kills, terrorism…it’s not part of God’s way. 

The issue is that this group has twisted the Quran and its meanings for political reasons, not for religious or spiritual reasons.  Muslims do not have this group’s back, but this group is strongly recruiting the youth who are impressionable. 

Radical Islamists are also the minority, not the majority.  It is a minority that are shunned by the majority.  Think about it…that minority has been bombing other Muslims as well.  Think Timothy McVeigh…The Unabomber…that weirdo in Sweden…guerillas…All minority killing their own people.

{Food for thought.}

One of the most important words I learned last month was the Arabic word “Shukran.”  It means “Thank you.” 

It was probably the most important word I learned beyond Inshallah (God willing…used every time you speak about the future) and Alhamdulillah (Thanks to God).  It’s funny that those three words were the most important words to know.  I still have no idea how to say “YES” in Arabic and I didn’t learn how to say “NO” until the end of my trip.  I do know the word for beautiful: Lailah (pronounced ‘La-la’).  In some cultures it also means “Princess.”

As the last days of the year start to wind down, I can’t help but think of the things that I am thankful for…you see, Morocco changed everything.  I think Winter Adams once described a situation to me as a ‘Deal Breaker’ before.  What’s happened since Morocco has been my Deal Breaker in life.  It changed everything. 

Since being back, I’ve sat down with all of my loved ones and told them, “I’m moving to Morocco in a year.”  While a lot of my friends and family have been shocked at first at the news, the only thing they can say is that they are happy for me.  It seems as if I’ve found what I’ve been looking for in this lifetime. 

My friend, M, said to me when I told her my decision, “I guess we’re going to have to spend the next year being tourists in NYC, doing anything and everything a tourist would do in this city.”  I was surprised that was her response.  I expected her to tell me I was crazy and talk me out of it.  But there was something in the way I relayed my case to her that she realized that this really was our last year together in New York City. 

Even as the rain falls over New York City and the temperatures drop, you’ll find me stopping at the sight of the rain and breathing it in…as if it were the last time.  It’s called living in that moment. 

I’ve started to say goodbye already to America. 

When I made my announcement back in July that this would be my final season, little did I know why it would be.  I just followed my heart and my intuition and let whatever the reasons why I was saying goodbye just slowly materialize.  Since Morocco, I haven’t quite been back in New York.  Everywhere I go, I feel like I’m still there, but then I’m sad when I realize I’m thousands of miles away. 

I look at America and the people around me.  I can’t help but feel like I’ve evolved from toleration.  What does that mean?  It means that I can now see America through different eyes, and I don’t like what I see.  I see people so concerned with their shells…and how evil they are to each other.  I feel sorrow for everyone around me.  I just want to shake everyone and tell them, “You don’t have to live this way…life could be so much better if you changed the way you think and the way you treat people!” 

I haven’t taken the rings off of my wedding finger since I’ve returned because I’ve already made a commitment to marry someone.  I keep thinking…maybe I’m crazy, but I’m doing what my heart and soul is telling me to do. 

I keep seeing the America world that I currently live in closing its doors all around me.  Why?  Because the way I think has changed.  I can no longer think or see as an American and be proud to be one.

I hear the most blasphemous and evil things coming from the mouths and minds of people that say they are followers of God.  They try to say their religion is the superior one…but all I hear is HATE based on lies.  It breaks my heart to hear it.

You look all around you…the shell of a person is glorified and hated all at once.  The shell is not who they are inside…it’s not their soul.  Their shell is what they think hides their soul.  For me, I have always looked at another person’s soul.  It is very difficult for me to see their shell.

My first boyfriend (as an adult) was an African American man.  He is one of those reversed racists (i.e. he talks crap about white people all of the time).  He once said to me at the beginning that he had to ask himself if I really did not see skin color…did I not really see what a person looked like on the outside.  He realized that I didn’t, not realizing that I only saw people for who they are inside. 

There are times that I befriend people that need saving.  People think I’m just like that person, but I never am.  I am just curious about them and why they can’t see beyond their own haze.  I know that they will betray me, because I sense it right from the very beginning.  But I still have that hope that maybe something I said to them will make sense…and that’s all that matters to me.

I learned in Morocco that it was okay to be who I really am.  I could stop worrying so much about my shell.  The shell is that job you have, your hair color, skin color, ethnicity, religion, your weight, your upbringing, your family…all of those things that people say make you…YOU, but really it doesn’t.  When you meet God, none of those things matter.  All that matters is who you are in your soul and what you’ve done in this lifetime.

Imagine a world where everyone judges you based on your soul and your actions in this lifetime.  It’s a world where everyone is constantly thinking of doing good for everyone around them, without thinking about themselves first.  People are kind to everyone.  People take care of each other like brothers and sisters.  People love everyone so much…you can feel it in everything you see, hear, smell and touch.  The winds carry that love all around. 

When men compliment women and tell them that they are beautiful, they are being honest, and not attaching sex as the reason why they are saying it.  Men take care of the women there, including making sure that they feel beautiful inside.

Sounds like a crazy pipe dream?  Well, I found that crazy pipe dream in Africa.  I found my dream come true in Morocco. 

I look at magazines and hear women complain about how fat they are, how they have to look like this or like that.  I read about how immorality has become the norm…and I read about how much we hate ourselves and we must constantly try to perfect our shells.

That song by U2, “Running to Stand Still” described me.  Imagine being able to finally stand still after running your entire life…running to something and having no idea where you were running to.  Imagine being able to stand still in the desert, looking up at the stars, realizing that what was hurting you had finally healed, and that you were standing before God and he was telling you that you had found what you were looking for.  You turn to your right and look at the person next to you and realize that you had found love.  Not just any love, but that kind of love where your souls intertwine with each other and inevitably becomes one soul.  That was the magic I felt in the Sahara Desert.  My soul didn’t just intertwine with a nomad’s soul, it became part of the great soul of Morocco…and it calls to me.

I wanted to live in a world that was like my soul…at complete peace and connected with the soul of God.  I didn’t find that in America.  I found it in a Muslim country. 

I wanted people to see my soul, not my shell.  Do you know how nice it is to not be judged based on my job?  People there don’t care what I do…just as long as what I do is good for everyone.

Do you know how nice it is to have suitor after suitor line up and ask my guide if he could date me?  I wasn’t used to all of the attention, but my guide explained to me that not too many women in their country are as beautiful as I am.  They look at me and they see how beautiful my soul is…and then they see what I look like on the outside.  They see my happiness…and that, to them, is more beautiful than anything.

All of my insecurities I have about myself…they mean nothing in Morocco.  Why?  Because men in Morocco tell women how beautiful they are…to the point that you actually feel beautiful inside (ergo, no need for insecurities). 

Why can’t first world countries be like that? 

I was able to be myself in Morocco.  As in, all of those weird things about my soul that I keep hidden in America…I can let it out.  In America, people say I’m crazy when I talk about it.  In Morocco, they see it differently.  The see it as a sign from God.  I’m deemed as ‘special.’  I see the world very differently. 

People have told me for years that the only reason why I react to Ground Zero in Manhattan the way that I do…it’s post-traumatic stress disorder left over from 9/11.  That’s America’s explanation. 

In Morocco, I got physically ill in the exact spot where a terrorist act occurred in Marrakech.  I was ready to vomit, faint…I was just so physically ill that the guide took one look at me and had to get me out of the souks.  He waited until I felt better before he asked me what happened in there.  When I told him that I just felt bad and that my mind kept screaming, “GET OUT OF THE SOUKS,” he looked at me and told me that he had turned to me to tell me that we were in the exact spot where a terrorist bombed Marrakech back in April, but he saw that I had turned pale and that I was ill, so he tried to get me out of there.

When he told Driss about it, Driss told him in Arabic what happened when I was in a kasbah.  I came out and asked him if anyone had died in there.  He said he didn’t know, but he would find out.  I told him exactly who died in the kasbah. 

Later that night, he asked around and they confirmed what I had told him.  He said he didn’t want to tell me that I was right, because it was so strange to him that I knew.  He then told him about the conversation we had about demons and what the Imams had said about them.  He was shocked to learn that I knew of an ancient civilization in Iraq that worshipped Shaitan.  He was shocked I even knew the word.  It’s not a word used very often in the Arabic language because of the evil it represents.

He told all of these things to my guide in Arabic…and I said, “Are you telling him about what happened at the kasbah and the demon conversation?”  He turned to me and said, “Yes, but how do you know?  I told him in Arabic.”  I just smiled and said, “I picked up the language very quickly.” 

But Driss knew I meant something else.  He also knows that I have the ability to put certain thoughts into other people’s minds.  It took him about a week to discover that I can do that. 

The true test to see if letting my soul be free was okay…I asked if they thought I was crazy.  Driss stopped the car and they both turned to me and said, “NO! You’re not crazy!”  The guide had said he had heard of people like me before, but they had just never met anyone like me before.

They continued talking about how I had never read the Qur’an but was able to quote scripture and stories to them in order to better understand how they should approach a situation.  I was able to appease situations.  I could tell them when I felt a snake was near me.  The way I described it to my guide, he just said, “Then don’t look to your right.”  There was a cobra within a few yards of me when he said that.

Oprah Magazine recently devoted an entire magazine to explain all of this…it’s called understanding your intuition.  As in, I’m very connected to my intuition and I let it rule my every being.  It determines why I make the decisions that I make in life.  I can’t explain why I make those decisions, but I have faith that in time, I will know why I made that decision.  Some pieces have to fall into place first before I can see it clearly. 

In Morocco, they realized that I can sense evil very quickly.  In America, I have to put invisible tape over my mouth before I tell some guy off for thinking what he’s thinking…or smelling the stench of an innocent child taken advantage of by a man that just stepped onto the train. 

In Morocco, there were two men talking about how sensitive I am to evil acts.  They spoke about it in Arabic.  I explained in English…if you know God’s plan, when something evil happens, it’s like a rip in time…I can sense it. 

I could see the guide thinking hard about what I said.  Evil is not part of God’s plan.  That’s why I can’t go to Ground Zero.  There are echoes there.  I feel the echoes.  It’s like when a murder has occurred, I can tell you something very evil had happened in that spot. 

There are times that I will walk into a situation like that and all of a sudden change direction or hurry out of the way because I sense things that cannot be seen.  In NYC, an invisible wall goes up within two blocks of WTC area.  I physically can’t move forward.  My friends have tried to trick me into going to the WTC site for years.  They won’t even tell me where we are.  We get within two blocks and it’s like an invisible wall comes up and I can’t move forward.  I start to get sick.  I feel like I’m going to vomit. 

It happened every single time.  For it to be PTSD, how was I able to feel the same symptoms in Marrakech…when I didn’t even know that a terrorist bombing had taken place months before?  It’s not PTSD.

So after reading all of that, I’m sure most of my First World readers will think I’m crazy.  In Morocco, I’m not.  The way they look at it…I’m on a higher spiritual plane than they are and I understand things at a much deeper level than what is taught to them by the Imams. 

It’s like…if they could test me to see if what I’m saying is true…I passed with flying colors.

To be in a world where it’s okay to be the person that I really am and embrace my soul 100% and have ZERO concern for that shell…that is paradise to me.  I found what I have always been looking for.

When I labeled this “Giving Thanks” it really does mean giving thanks to God that he changed my entire world and gave me a new home where I can be free to be who I really am.  It means showing the world…there’s a chance that we can change…we can have a better world if we all wanted it to change.

People talk of World Peace as a wish…it is possible, just so long as we change the way we think and the way we believe.  Imagine a world where everyone is always concerned about doing good for each other each and every waking moment…because your actions are being watched by God at all times, therefore, you should always be doing good.

When you see a poor person, a sick person or an elderly person, you help them.  When you see someone get out of line, you stop them and remind them why they should do good.  You help out everyone around you…you do good at all times, knowing that everyone else around you has adopted the same philosophy.  It is their way of life. 

Imagine a world that good…that’s what I found amongst a country of Muslim Arabs.  In the Christian America, I’ve only found hate.  I started to believe that all humanity was that evil, but then I went to Morocco and witnessed firsthand that not all humanity was evil.  There was good in the world.  I’m thankful I found that.

If you made it this far in this long post, I want to thank you for hearing me out.  Sometimes what you find in the most remote part of the world can be the Deal Changer in life.  You can’t help but think that there is hope for the world and for everyone in it.  When they say that YOU must be the change in the world that YOU seek…it is true. YOU must change in order to change the world.  As I’ve always said, the only way you can truly help someone is by letting them see God shine through you.  That is change.

No matter how you celebrate Thanksgiving, Americans, remember that in order to truly give thanks, don’t just say it…DO IT!  If you are truly thankful, pass the goodness of what you’re thankful on to others.  If you’re thankful for a good meal, give a good meal to someone who doesn’t have one.  If you’re thankful for your family, open your hearts to being like a family to others who have no one to go home to.  If you’re thankful for your success, share your wisdom with others learning how to become better.  If you’re thankful for your health, help those who are in hospitals with sicknesses and injuries.

The only proper way to give thanks in this world is to share it with others.  That is how you show God and the world that you are truly thankful for the life that you have been given.  Spread the love…

Me: Why is the water this color blue?

Driss: It is a reflection of the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We left Fes and headed to our next destination…Erfoud.  On our way, we had to travel through the Mid-Atlas Mountains.  We stopped in a village at the top of a mountain that reminded me very much of a place I had just visited in Europe…Switzerland. 

There was a lot of money flowing into this college town.  But does it surprise you that there are large homes and ski slopes all near the college?  School for the uber rich…that’s all I’m going to say.

As we headed through the mountains, Driss pointed out the Berber nomads.  From their tents to the sheepherders to the dogs that wait patiently alongside the roads for people to throw food to them…it was interesting to see their life. 

It really amazes me how a whole group of people choose to live in tents, moving from one place to another based on the availability of water and vegetation.  They care for sheep or goats or cattle, which provide their resources for what little money they need in order to survive.  You see, they don’t need money to live.

How is that possible?  Well, they don’t have to pay taxes on the land they live upon.  They don’t even have to rent the land.  They live off of the land and off of the byproducts from their flock.  They eat dates (which are abundant all throughout the land) and drink goat’s milk.

Their diet is very simple and they don’t eat much at all.  The men spend days tending to their flock before returning home, where their wives keep to the tents and do crafts and create rugs with intricate patterns on them that they use to sell to merchants.

Imagine a world without cell phones, BlackBerrys, televisions and the internet!  You may think you’d go crazy without any of those things, but oddly enough, you become addicted to the peace and tranquility of Morocco. 

While we made our way through the Atlas Mountains, we came across a ravine that was so beautiful to see amidst all of the sand and the mountains.  I had Driss pull over so I could take a picture of the water.  I stood there just marveling at how blue the water was. 

I got back into the car and asked Driss why the water was that color blue.  He replied (very poetically), “It is a reflection of the sky.”  I looked at him thinking he was joking, but he was dead serious.  I laughed and patted him on the back and told him that’s what I love about Moroccan men.  They are so poetic. 

As we drew closer to the sand dunes, Driss dropped me off at Xaluca Dades in Erfoud to spend the night.  What a gorgeous hotel in the middle of the desert! 

Driss told me before we went into the hotel that he noticed I hadn’t eaten in four days.  He told me to eat dinner and breakfast in the morning.  He told me the food would be safe…just eat.  So I did…but not without someone spying on me.

When I came out for dinner, I only picked up some rice and chicken and some cooked vegetables.  I sat down and one of the men working at the hotel came up to me with a huge grin on his face and asked me if I was from Room 1.  The bad part was I knew why he was asking.  I responded, “Yes.”  He then shook his head and smiled really big, walking away. 

While this would have creeped out anyone…I know why he did it.  He was checking up on me for Driss to make sure I was eating, because he hung around my table during breakfast to make sure I actually ate the food (I kind of gave it to the cat when no one was looking). 

I’ll be honest…I was scared to eat in both Europe and in Morocco.  I was living on water and juice for the first four days and I was perfectly fine.  I worked my way up to two meals…and then three towards the end of the trip…but that took a lot of trust in Driss to help me find food that I could stomach.  Trust me, Driss knew how sensitive my stomach was and did his best to make sure I found edible food.

The next morning, Driss picked me up at the hotel and took me to a fossil museum where the scientist there took me around to show me the fossils.  Mind you, I think he felt threatened by me.  I could tell he was not happy that he was giving a tour to a woman that was…well, Western with money…and not Muslim. 

Despite his continuing escalating anger…I did learn a few things.  For one, I find it so intriguing that the Sahara Desert was once the ocean.  They believe that one day it will return to the sea.  (Wild, right?)

There are sea fossils from millions of years ago that are dug up in the Sahara Desert and turned into furniture, marble tabletops and sinks, sculptures, and home items.  It’s quite beautiful and amazing.  I think every home that desires luxury should buy their marble tabletops and sinks from the Moroccans.  Just interesting to see all of the fossils embedded into the stone.

Afterwards, Driss took me to a mosque in a nearby town with beautiful date trees in the courtyard.  There, I was able to capture some photos of one of the men in the mosque.  I couldn’t have asked for a perfect picture.

We then headed off to see an old palace that was being restored.  The only thing in tact was the harem! 

I also got to try my first date (ever) that Driss found.  It had just fallen to the ground.  All I can say is that dates…are okay, but not my thing. 

We then headed off to the local markets (souks) that had just about everything you can imagine, including a livestock market. 

We then headed back to Erfoud, sat down and had lunch, while we awaited my driver to take me out to the sand dunes.  When Josef finally arrived, Driss gave him instructions on how to take care of me (gotta love Driss). 

I’ve already written about what happened in the desert that night and morning…so I’m not going to repeat it.  It’s just time to share the photos of the sunset and the sunrise.  What separates the sunset from the sunrise is the b/w photo of the desert at night with the moon in the sky as a small caravan heads back to their kasbah. 

What you will not see are pictures of Hamid.  He was sitting next to me as I took the pictures of the sunrise…TWICE.  As in if you want a girl to really fall in love with you, you show her how she can watch the sunrise twice in the same morning. 

One set of shots are of the sunrise appearing over the Algerian mountains in the distance.  The other set are the second sunrise from the bottom of the sand dunes. 

I’m not going to rehash my night in the Saharan Desert, because that one night in the desert was enough for a book. 

Right now, I wonder at this time of night if Hamid is watching the stars changing colors before his eyes.  When he first told me that the stars change colors, I thought he was nuts…but then he showed me what he was talking about…and I, too, saw the stars change colors before my very eyes. 

To see the world through a nomad’s eyes…probably one of the most magical things you’ll ever experience…so long as you are open to the possibilities that you can see two sunrises in the same morning and that the stars do indeed change colors. 

1. Pasta With Butternut Squash & Pecans.  I’ve never made a Martha Stewart recipe before until this week.  I was searching for a recipe to make with butternut squash and came across this one at MarthaStewart.com.  All I can say…why didn’t I ever make a Martha Stewart recipe before?  This was so delicious.  I keep having to remind myself that this was not made with garlic or seasonings…just butter, salt and pepper.  This is a nice fall recipe that I plan on making again and again. It really hits the spot on these cold nights. 

2. Urban Outfitters.  For those who know UO for their clothes, may not shop the store as much for their Home items.  For the past decade, I’ve been shopping their home section off and on.  It started with a $59 chair that was just a silly thing for a just out of college graduate…but it followed me around for the next seven years.  It was so simple to pack…and the cat loved it so much.  It was a great chair to sit in and read for hours.  But stupid me gave the chair away in my move to NYC and I miss it like crazy.  Lesson learned: never give away UO home items. 

I’ve bought a lot of decor items for the kitchen, including a fancy shmansy silk pillow that looks so luxurious…and I got it for only $9.95 each. 

As I decorate my office, I’ve been able to find more great items in their clearance section.  That means that I’ve been able to bring everything below budget.  Everything is so fancy and well made that I’m very happy with all of my finds.  Now to wait for those boxes to arrive!

3.  John & Mary Bag.  I’ve found my new bag.  It’s perfect in oh so many ways.  1.  It’s a classic.  2.  The colors are oh, so perfect.  3. The bag will last for a very long time.  4.  It’s perfect for work.  5.  It’s perfect for travel.  6.  It’s perfect for a writer on the go all of the time.  Luckily, the bag is on sale.  I can get the large bag for $135 (regular $224).  It also comes in a medium for $120 (regular $208).  I’m going to opt for the large bag because it’s considered a ‘personal’ item and not a carry-on bag. 

4.  Fabric Covered Magnet Board.  Thanks to Etsy.com and Pinterest.com, I came across the perfect magnet board for my office.  It’s Parisian style…and will go with the decor of the room.  What I envision putting up on the board are my index cards of story lines as I go through and write the book.  I can visually see the book in front of me and move the cards around as I put the book together.  I also plan on making little magnets from all of those extra buttons I’ve been collecting over the years that they attach to the clothing tags.  Waste not & recycle!

Isn’t the board just cute!  I love all things French. 

5.  BonBon Rose Girls.  So this is where I share a blog I love to stalk.  BonBon Rose Girls is such a fun site.  They talk about fashion, decorating, food, finds…all in all…it’s just an inspiring site to find ideas on what to wear, decor items for the home that they’ve found, deals of the day….I mean…there’s so much to cover in what they actually cover.  Right now, I have Gap City Flats on my brain as my next purchase from the Gap.  Luckily, they still have them in my size on sale for $33.99.  Thanks to the BonBon Rose Girls for having that deal of the day in my brain!

It’s been awhile since the world was abuzz with The Matrix.  I had popped in Matrix Reloaded (part 2) because I hadn’t seen it in quite some time (maybe a few years).  I liked this version because my favorite Italian actress, Monica Bellucci, also guest stars. 

Towards the end of the film, Trinity says something that made me stop and think…funny, because that’s exactly why our economy is the way that it is today.  She mentioned something about how the mistakes of the past…we were borrowing from tomorrow for today.

All of those reports on how banks are trying to establish new fees, I can’t help but think that now is not the time to become greedier.  You fire 30,000 people from the company and then raise the bank fees for your customers?  What is wrong with that picture?

But then you have to ask why banks have been put in this position.  Go back to Trinity’s quote.  People borrowed from tomorrow to pay for today.  Tomorrow finally came and there was a big fat IOU…and nothing to show for in terms of repayment. 

People complained about signing loans for their houses and then when the interest rate jumped, they could no longer afford their homes.  Why were you buying a bigger house outside of what you could afford?  It is also the banks’ fault for allowing these kinds of loans.  It’s just a complete circle of screwing each other over.  No one wins in GREED…Greed to have something you can’t afford; Greed to try to make a profit off of giving someone something they can’t afford, because you can make money off of that bigger interest.

If you look at the stories from the Great Depression, what the people learned back then was not to live outside of your means.  People didn’t have jobs, there were people living in makeshift shacks along country roads…and even in Central Park.  They did whatever work they could find…and if worse came to worse, they tried to get assistance.  There were bread lines…but people with pride tried to keep themselves and their families away from being in that line.

People lost a lot of money in the stock market crash, but many survived who didn’t throw themselves out of a window.  There was always a new day…they lived for today…not tomorrow. 

They would have never borrowed money to pay for a house that was beyond their means.  It was unheard of.

They planted gardens.  They bartered with others.  They tried to keep their credit to the absolute minimum and necessity.  Credit wasn’t used to buy whatever they wanted.  They had credit to buy what they needed…like FOOD. 

People from the Depression Era also tried to teach future generations that you need to live within your means and not live in excess.  They lived very simply with little to no clutter in their homes.  They only kept the things they needed and the things that they worked hard for. 

They learned how to make it with little to nothing.  They were thinking about today, not about tomorrow.

In the Muslim Arab tradition, they live the same way.  They look at life in the present moment, not what’s going to happen tomorrow or how much money they will have tomorrow.  They wake up each and every morning thinking that whatever they need, God will provide it for them. 

But rest assured, they work very, very hard every single day in order to get those gifts from God.  Whether it’s a good harvest or a good job, they work very hard to do the things necessary to make everyone (including God) happy with them and their work.  If everyone is happy, then they are blessed. 

Talk about less stress.

I learned when I was in my early 20s that it’s not wise to borrow from tomorrow, because when tomorrow comes, how are you going to pay for it?  What if you can’t pay for it when that time comes?  Then you have to ask yourself what in the world you just had to have yesterday that you had to pay for it today…and you still don’t have the money to pay for it.  Most times, you can’t even remember what you bought when you got that credit card bill at the end of the month.

I live by the rule that if you don’t have the cash for it, then it’s not meant to be.  LUSTING after things that you’ll never be able to afford is a sin in itself for a reason…because you will end up hurting yourself (and possibly others) by trying to LUST after something you want and don’t need, especially if you can’t afford it with what you have right now.

That works in all manners in life, not just in money.  LUST and GREED were considered deadly sins for a reason.  The two alone or even combined can do serious damage.  To sin now, you’ll have to pay for it later.  All religions talk about that.  If you think you’ll be forgiven for those sins…look at our world today and tell me how those sins forgiven haven’t upset or hurt others.

Bank bailouts?  Look at what happened to the world.  US financial bailout?  Look at what happened to the world. 

There are cities that talk about running out of money, like Detroit.  They warn that they will be out of money by April.  That means 10% paycut (or even layoffs) for police officers and many others that serve the city.

We are all paying that IOU TODAY with joblessness, paycuts, foreclosures, collections, etc.  Tomorrow finally came and what have we done to ourselves?  What has LUST and GREED cost us, but pain. 

How can we change all of this?  If there’s anything I’ve learned over these past few years, we have the ability to change our life by changing our mindset.  When we change our mindset, our world becomes new (and even better).  When you think positive, you view the world differently.  You see opportunity in the challenges you face, not detriment.

When you think about doing the things that will make your life better, you have to think positively and act with goodness in mind.  Since this financial downfall has happened, you see new types of businesses cropping up…businesses designed to help not just the consumer, but the world.  People with success in mind have been developing new business models that have helped shift their businesses ahead of the rest…and made their customers very happy.  They not only cut their overhead costs by staying exclusive to a certain group of clients, but they also give back to their customers for their loyalty.  They bank on a customer’s happiness to bring them back.  Bauble Bar is a great example of that. 

They are a jewelry company that does not sell in stores or have an actual store.  Everything is completely web based.  They reward their customers with credits towards free jewelry each time they shop…and each time they refer a friend…and each and every time that friend buys…they both get a credit.

Not only is their product qualitative and beautiful, but they keep all of their customers very happy.  A happy customer equals a loyal customer who will do all of the marketing for them (i.e. their marketing budget…why market the product in ads when your customers spread the news for you).

Thanks to their Buried Bauble Fridays, I’ve been able to amass a gorgeous jewelry collection for $10 a piece…and so have my friends.  I always get compliments on the free jewelry I pick up from their Vault…and when you say FREE…that prompts more people to want to buy from them.

That is the new direction businesses have to move into in order to succeed in this day and age.  They have to make the customer happy…and give back in a way that the customer sees it.  Customers need to feel happy with their purchase, even if they know that their purchase goes to help the women in Africa who designed and made the piece they are ordering.

The thing here is that people are not working with GREED in their mind when they set up their businesses.  They are thinking about how their business can change the world…and how they can bring happiness into the world.

It’s about bringing positive energy into their world and into their business.  It’s positive thinking.

When I first started living as a positive thinker a few years back, the only thing on my mind at the time was what I wanted when I first got my current job.  I thought about how much money I wanted to make, the benefits I wanted, and the hours I wanted to work.  Basically, I just wanted to make a lot of money with full benefits, and work less hours.  I got all of that by not only wishing for that, but by putting my thoughts into action. 

When I walked into the interview, I knew exactly what I wanted.  If they had what I wanted, then I wanted to work for them. 

The job I ended up getting in the end…that was the job that was perfect for me.  It met all of my criteria and more…and I’ve been very happy there ever since.

When I think positively about money, I think…I want more than enough.  I don’t want anymore than that.  I don’t want to be rich beyond measure.  I just want to have a little more than enough…and that’s exactly what I got.  To want more than that…that would be GREED in order to fulfill my LUSTS.  That is a slippery slope that should not be tread upon.

I’ve been very lucky these past few years.  Right now, all I want to focus on is the present and making sure I have what I need.  It’s funny how I had my cards read the other day and I saw that I would be on a financial diet for a little while.  What a diet it’s been.  What’s funny is that there are two ways to look at the card.  You can see it as it being harsh, or you can look at it in a positive light…as in, God is still providing for me…he’s not denying me.  How you look at that part in life is how your future will unravel.

For me, being on this extreme financial diet reminds me of how much fun I used to have scouring through vintage shops and thrift stores.  I used to go in and budget myself at $100 and I had to find an entire outfit for $100…sometimes $50.  I’ve found amazing pairs of vintage jeans, bags and coats that way.  I’ve even been able to find items that I had been wanting (like books and home stuff) just show up on the shelves while I was in a thrift store for just 10 cents or a dollar.  Those are the finds that I cherish just as much as I do with my first purchase from Neiman Marcus or Tiffany & Co.  Why?  Because there are great finds where you find an amazing deal on something you had been looking for that you got for just pocket change…and then there’s that moment when you realize you can afford your first Burberry bag…or even your first Fendi bag.

I even found out that Aldi just opened up in my neighborhood.  I remember shopping there when I was dirt poor and coming out with so many great finds.  Target and Wal-Mart also supplemented my grocery finds. 

I also found out that there was a Salvation Army shop just two blocks from my office.  Dangerous, indeed…but good for my pocketbook. 

I don’t have to live so frugally, but I choose to because it takes a lot of work (and money) to make my next dream come true.  As I told my friend, God told me I needed to work hard these next six months, because it will pay off in the end.  What that means…well, I’ll find out in six months…just like I found out while I was in Morocco why God kept saying that what happens in Morocco will change my life completely.  It will change my entire perception on life and develop a new ending to “Losing 100 Pounds of Unhappiness.”  Ends up, he was right.  It changed everything in ways that I never imagined it would…and I am happier for it.

Now, all my mind can think about is making sure I have more than enough of the necessities (like food, health related items, etc.), and getting rid of the things I don’t need.  What I bring into the home now are the things that will be with me today, tomorrow and a year from now…and I’m not borrowing from tomorrow to pay for it today.  I’m paying for today with today’s money so that I can also have it for tomorrow (if it comes).  If I don’t have the money today, I’m definitely not borrowing to pay for it.  Why?  Because that IOU eventually becomes due…and I find that IOU always has to be paid when you don’t have the money.  It’s better to start living with what you have today, because tomorrow’s paycheck is never guaranteed.

This is actually something for the ladies today, because guys could care less about this stuff. 

There are times that I have ideas, ideas, ideas on what I’d like to do with my office, but not until today did it all come together…and way under budget.

Thanks to Urban Outfitters for helping me piece it all together.  The colors are now white, pink, lavendar and gray.  The focal point is my Missoni for Target pouf. 

I have been looking for the right white duvet for a long time and considered getting the Shabby Chic duvet from Target…but ends up UO has one for about $20 less than the Shabby Chic.  Add a gray/white bedskirt for $9.99 and we’re set for the bed…toss pillows will be the next find.  I’m thinking Parisian here, so we’ll see if I can Martha Stewart up some special Paris pillow designs. 

I also found a couple of gray medallion shower curtains…2 for $29.99.  I find sometimes that I love shower curtain patterns, because it’s what I’m looking for vs. regular curtains. 

A few other pluses is that I’m getting a couple of turquoise blue paisley curtains and a turquoise side table (think Tiffany blue).  Total cost of everything is ringing in at $180.  For me, with all that’s being shipped (shipping’s free)…that’s a great deal.  That’s a duvet + 2 shower curtains + 2 paisley curtains + 2 shower curtain hooks + bedskirt + Tiffany blue side table = $180. 

I also found that HomeDecorators.com is having a sale on rugs.  Free shipping too.  I found a plain gray rug for $79 to cover most of the room.  (We’re up to $259 now.)

I went shopping for a new couch too for my living room.  I almost dropped $1000 on that new sofa, but something said…just look a little more.  Voila…Overstock.com had the identical movie sofa, but with 3 pillows (unlike CB2’s movie sofa) for 1/3 the price at $377.99 (free shipping).  Now we’re at $638.99. 

What makes me very happy…that’s still less than that sofa from CB2…and the finds today means that I have most of the office done.  Bookcases…that’s what I’m looking into next.

I really can’t wait to put up the artwork and photos.  I decided to put the Constantine ensemble up in the office.  I think it reflects more of my style, especially since gray is going to be one of the colors in the office.

Truthfully, the fact that I’ve narrowed down the colors for the office…that’s one HUGE step.  I’m just surprised at how well everything has come together thanks to the clearance section of UrbanOutfitters.com!  Trust me, there will be before and after pictures. 

Now to hit up Michael’s for frames, etc.

Ah, Fes…the most interesting and most cultural part of my trek across Morocco.  Fes is the city where Driss is from. 

In many tour guide books, it says that tourists should NOT tour the Arabic medina.  It is forbidden.  They are only allowed to visit the French and New Medinas, but not the Arabic medinas.

Want to know why…I mean, really know why it’s forbidden?  Because you’d get lost in the medina if you went by yourself.  You need a guide to lead you through the gigantic Arabic medina. 

We went up to a mountaintop so I could take a panoramic photo of the medina…it was so gigantic that I couldn’t fit the entire medina into one shot.

The medina is just one huge maze.  You have to be from there in order to know how to navigate the medina.  Not all stores are at street level.  The tanneries are hidden away.  The rug markets are hidden inside houses with security at the door.  They don’t let just anyone into their homes to view the rugs…unless you have a guide that knows the owners.

Even the restaurants are hidden away in cubby holes that you wouldn’t even know to look into…thinking it was someone’s home, until you walk in and see that it is a restaurant.  There are no signs leading you to anything.  You just have to know where you are going.  If you don’t…well, that’s why it’s forbidden.  You don’t want to take your chances at getting lost in this kind of medina.  It really is a gigantic maze.

In the house filled with rugs, I was surprised to find that the home was so big inside.  There were a good 3 floors…and the rooftop gives you a good look at the medina from the center.  Riads are gorgeous with their many rooms and courtyard in the middle.

At Dar Benhayoune, Ben Kabbou, the owner of the rug shop invited me into a large room where we sat and had drinks (at this time of day, water was the perfect drink to have).  He explained that this large riad kept cool through the summer thanks to all of the tiles.  There is no need for air conditioning.  The tiles throughout the entire home keeps it cool (something for homeowners to think about as far as cutting costs in their homes).  In the winter, they move the rooms down to the lower levels, closer to the fires and the kitchens. 

Ben and I talked a lot about books and spirituality.  It’s funny, because we have a love for classical literature.  He was surprised that I had read so many of the same old books that he had.  He was even more surprised by my spiritual knowledge…and I’m not even Muslim. 

After he had one of the men show me 30 different rugs, I decided on a small one to take back to the States.  I think the cat loves that new rug.  I wake up in the middle of the night to see her stretched out on that Berber rug. 

The Berber rugs are made by the women of one of the local Berber tribes.  This shop sells only rugs made by women…and the money goes to help those women. 

Each time I look at the rug I purchased, I think of the Berber woman who made the rug…and can’t help but say thanks for making something so beautiful that now graces my home, enjoyed by both me and the cat (who loves it more than I do)…it’s a piece of Morocco in my home.

After Ben and I wrapped up the transaction, we continued to talk a little while longer.  He told me as we headed back downstairs, “If I could describe how I’ve fallen in love with you, they would have to cut out my heart to bleed out all of the reasons why.”  I love that about the men of Morocco!  So poetic, so passionate, and so open to love.

{If you’re interested in buying a rug (lots of different styles from Arabic to Berber), email: d.benhayoune@gmail.com}

After we headed out of the rug shop, we headed to the tanneries (in the slideshow, it’s the large circular clay containers with different colors and men standing in them).  Now, I thought I would see things that would gross me out, but no…just the finished product.  I didn’t even see the women that do the sewing and design the intricate patterns onto the leather.  I only saw the men dyeing the hides of the animals…and yes, the stench is so disgusting. 

They hand you a piece of mint to smell when the odor gets too horrendous. 

At Terrasse de Tannerie, I picked up a purse for my friend and two poufs for my living room.  Now, I’m a big fan of the poufs.  Driss told me that you don’t have to stuff the poufs with cotton, etc.  He told me to just use it as extra storage.  Put old clothes or blankets in it.  What a novel idea.  I rotated my wardrobe when I got back home and put all of the summer clothes into the poufs.  What shocks me is that my entire summer wardrobe actually fit into both of the poufs.  It was definitely a much more decorative way to store my clothing…and not throw them into plastic containers or bags like I have the last however many years.

Now, I had to bargain in ways that you can’t believe to get the cost of the 2 poufs and the bag down to $300.  They originally quoted me $780.  I talked them down to a little under $300…with the promise I would do a writeup (obligation fulfilled). 

There are so many things to choose from at the Terrasse de Tannerie.  Even if it’s just to get that shot of the coloring pits, for me, they had so many purses…I almost fainted at the number…and then trying not to buy one for myself (purses are my fetish)…that took every single ounce of me not to buy a huge leather bag.  The poufs were more important.

Now, you may think that $300 for a leather bag and 2 poufs are expensive.  Well, I came back and saw that on Fab.com, they had the exact leather poufs from that same tannery up for sale…price tag for each pouf at 50% off was $224 each.  Trust me, I got a deal.  Thanks to the owner, El Haj Ali Baba for bending to such a deal…and thank you for the gift of a leather coin purse.  I love it! 

After we headed out of the tannery, we stopped into Tisserand de Fes, a cloth store where the men hand make scarves, blankets, caftans, curtains, etc.  The work is magnificent.  I bought a scarf for my friend (who loves it so much, she now wears it everyday), a beautiful blue silk blanket with velvet (the cat loves it so much…she’s already sold on Morocco…I’m not saying the word ‘quarantine’ to her yet), and a tunic shirt for myself.

Now, there’s a picture I accidentally put up on Facebook of myself in a full caftan.  I joke that this is what the hubby would want me to wear, but after putting it on, I told the guys…it’s not me.  I just can’t wear it.  The men (even the ones in NY) keep telling me how lovely I look in it.  Literally…it’s a house dress…not the type you go out in!  HAHA.

I bought a tunic top, because it suited me better than a full caftan.  Hamid wears the full caftan with pants underneath, but if he can talk me into wearing one…good luck to him.  I will probably only bend to wearing one on special occasions.  Every day…I’ll stick to wearing jersey pants and tanks at home. 

The owner of the shop and the guy helping me find something to buy, they’re the two guys in the slideshow with a big grin on their faces in front of all of the caftans.  I know that I will have to buy one to enter a mosque…but then I haven’t fully decided to become Muslim yet (all depends on if the court demands it in order to adopt the little boy from Rabat…then I’ll do it for that little boy).

After we left the medina, we headed to the potters.  I find their shop to be so intriguing.  I was told not to talk to the women while I was there.  How odd is that, right?  I was only allowed to speak to the men.  Why?  They didn’t want me giving the women any ideas.  Wow, right? 

The women are generally separated from the men while working at the potters, but I did find one room where both men and women paint designs onto the pottery.  It was pretty amazing to watch how accurate and fast they are.  Everything is hand painted.  No machines. 

The one that intrigued me the most was how they create the designs on the tiles.  The tile is completely painted in one color and then a man uses some tools to scrape off the paint with a design.  It happens so quickly, you can’t help but be mesmerized at how all of these artists can work so quickly to create such beautiful tiles and pottery.

I bought a few small dishes to put soaps and jewelry in.  I gave one dish to my friend (who loved it).  I know that when I design my new home in Morocco…I’ll be going to them for the tiles, fountains, and pottery.  They are a co-op, so all prices are fixed…but they did give me a discount (which was also nice). 

The owner is the man in the shop with his arm around me.  You can take a look around at some of their wares at Art Naji.  They have so many things and ship all over the world.  If you’re looking for something specific (tables, tableware, etc.), you can also email the director Naji Fakhari at info@artnaji.com.  They will make it to your specifications (color, etc.).

So back to the part where I’m not supposed to talk to the women…I was not allowed to talk to the women in Morocco.  The men would speak to the women for me, but I was not supposed to talk to them directly.  Odd, right?  I was considered equal to all of the men I came across.  Some men treated me as if I was more important than they were (i.e. they’re the servant, I’m the master).  But for the most part, the men treated me as their equal, and sometimes better than them.

What distinguishes that ‘better than them’?  Not attitude…MONEY.  It’s very rare for men to see a woman who has money…and it’s her money, not the family’s money, not her husband’s money…her money.  Driss had to keep telling me to stop tipping so much. My response was, I was tipping them what I thought he deserved.  10-50 dirham suffices.  100 dirham and they’re saying…it’s too much.  The way I look at it…they need the money more than I do.

It’s money that keeps me on equal footing with the men of Morocco.  They didn’t want me to encourage their women to believe that they could be like me…single, with a lot of money.  In their culture, the men make the money, some women work, but it’s to sell their wares and crafts.  It’s very rare that a woman owns her own riad, like the woman in Marrakech.  But I believe she either was able to do that because her husband had died or she got a lot of money in a divorce.  Either way, she was given more than enough money to run two five star riad hotels.

Driss had mentioned to me that I should do the same when I move to Morocco.  It would provide income for me, because as a woman, it would be hard to maintain my lifestyle and a career…especially if things didn’t work out between me and the nomad…or I just plain outright decided I wasn’t getting married.  Besides…I’d rather just buy a riad out by the sand dunes and have Hamid run it for me.  I’ll go do my own thing…like write, take photos and manage the household.

There are so many possibilities.  Hopefully we’ll finalize all of those possibilities in April when we take one last look around before I make any final decisions.  This will be my last look around Morocco before I decide where I’m buying a home.  Right now, Ouarzazate may be getting the nod…but then part of me likes the idea of living by the ocean.  So we’ll see what part of Morocco says…LIVE HERE…that isn’t the sand dunes of the Sahara Desert.  I need water and electricity.  Sahara can’t give that to me…YET. 

At any rate, here are the photos from Fes, Morocco…next set of pics will be our trip to the Sahara Desert.  And, of course, the Sahara…

There were a few people that wanted the information on a special oil used to help cure migraines.  Here is the website: Aux 100,000 Epices. 

The site is in French, so here’s how to find the anti-migraine medicine…

1. Under CATEGORIES (on the left), Click on HUILES ESSENTIELLES.
2. In the top row, third from the left, you’ll see HUILE ANTI-MIGRAINE for 8 euros.  Click on AJOUTER AU PANIER (i.e. ADD TO CART).
3. This will bring you to your cart.  Just click on ACHETER (i.e. BUY) at the bottom to go to the next page.
4. The next screen asks if you are a NOUVEAU CLIENT or DEJA CLIENT.  If you are a first time buyer, under NOUVEAU CLIENT, click on CONTINUER.
5. From there, it’s self explanatory.  Just fill in your billing/payment information.  They ship all over the world.

Don’t stock up on the anti-migraine medicine the first time you buy.  Just buy one to test to see if this will work for you.  You only need two drops for each application (one drop per temple).  Massage each drop onto your temples.  After five minutes, your migraine should be gone.

This is a medicine used all throughout Morocco and the people there swear by it.  There have also been stories of tourists that were given this medicine (after using migraine medication for years).  Their migraines were gone after five minutes.  They reported feeling better than they’d ever felt before. 

Everything is all-natural and derived from plants found in the Sahara Desert of Morocco.  These cures were developed by the Berber nomads of Africa.

Berber medicine was developed over the centuries as nomads wandered the desert, learning what plants heal illnesses.  Learning how to use accu-pressure was also passed down from one generation to the next. {It also teaches how the power of touch can heal another human being.}

You’ll also notice there are a lot of other natural cures, beauty products and teas listed on the site.  Argan oil has been taking the beauty world by storm in the US.  Argan is only found in Morocco.  It is the only place in the world where Argan trees are grown.

There are aphrodisiacs, all natural body scrubs, anti-aging products and so much more on the site.  Everything is ALL-NATURAL and made with NO CHEMICALS.

When I was in the store, I picked up some mint tea (which is very refreshing to have after a meal…especially for those who have acid reflux or a sensitive stomach).  I also picked up a bottle of Extrait de Fleur d’Oranger, which is a perfumed oil used to calm anxieties and stress.  It also smells very nice on. 😉

There is also a special black seed I picked up that is used for people who have breathing problems, like asthma.  It’s very reminiscent of the menthol in Vicks Vapo-Rub.  All you do is put the seeds in a handkerchief,  wrap it up into a small ball, stick it up each nostril and breathe in deeply (just one time, each side). 

I thought it was kind of crazy until the lady made me breathe it in.  You breathe in until your nostril feels like it is on fire and then you stop.  I didn’t think it would work, but after about three minutes, I felt my left lung ease up and I could breathe better. 

I was so impressed that it worked so quickly, and it was all natural, that I picked up a bag and brought it home with me for those days when I am having extreme difficulties in breathing.  That means…no more asthma medication.

There is also another special tea that I picked up that is also sold at Aux 100,000 Epices, it actually cures ALL symptoms.  On days that I have extreme difficulties, I have a cup of this tea and the symptoms are relieved and I feel better within 10-15 minutes.  Just one cup does the trick. 

Because this tea has every flower and plant in the Berber’s book of medicine…it heals just about anything and everything.  Even when my lung acts up early in the AM or my stomach has become very sensitive and I’m vomiting left and right…this tea has helped me breathe…and eased my stomach.

I should also mention that the reason why I got so interested in Berber medicine…well, Hamid is a Berber Medicine Man.  When I tried to explain cancer to him, he had no idea what it was.  I explained the symptoms to him and what happens inside the body.  He didn’t understand any of it. 

His response was what made me decide to move to Morocco.  NO ONE gets cancer.  The Berber nomads have never had a serious illness like cancer.  They get sick every now and again, but they have plants in the desert that helps cure them.  People die either from an accident or old age.  Maybe there’s something about their lifestyle that prevents them from getting serious illnesses.

Want to know his cure for a cough?  A mixture of Argan oil mixed in with olive oil, massaged into the neck.  The neck is then wrapped in a scarf to keep it warm.  I didn’t cough for hours after his cure. 

There are also healing properties in the Sahara Desert.  There are people that show up to the Berber camps with very bad rheumatism or arthritis.  Even people that are faced with knee surgery or other kinds of surgeries, head to the Sahara to lay out in the desert for a few hours for 3-6 days to avoid having surgery. 

Hamid told me there was one man that showed up to the camp completely bent over.  He couldn’t even stand up straight. 

The old man laid in the desert for 3 hours.  Afterwards, he headed into the tents, wrapped himself up in a blanket and stayed in the tents the rest of the day.  He went back out the next day and the next, repeating the same thing each day.  By the third day, he walked away completely cured, standing up straight.  The man said that he felt better than he did when he was 20 years old.

Driss also told me of how he had done the same thing when he was facing knee surgery after an accident.  His doctor gave him two choices: surgery or the Sahara Desert.  He opted for the Sahara.  After doing the same thing the old man had done, he walked away a few days later with a knee better than new.  Seven years later, he feels like his knee is still better than new.  The Sahara cured him. 

No special medicine or surgery required.

The reason why I’m sharing this information with all of you is because I’m looking for a cure myself.  For those with cancer…I’m looking for that cure there.  It’s hard to find a cure when the Berbers have never had cancer before.  But maybe they can find a cure if they have someone to test remedies on.

Keep in mind that the people of Morocco don’t like chemicals.  They prefer the all natural route, especially when it comes to medicine. 

Considering their cures are all natural and derive from plants in the desert…and it actually works…shouldn’t we give it a try instead of putting all of these chemicals into our bodies?  I still have yet to understand how poisoning our bodies with chemo actually helps get rid of the cancer.  There has to be a natural cure out there…even if it is just a lifestyle.  After all, if an entire group of people (the Berbers) have never had cancer before, shouldn’t we be researching how that’s possible?  How they never get really bad illnesses?  Maybe they do have the cure we’re looking for.

There’s also something to be said about the Berber lifestyle…they spend every day focused on two very important things: God and peace.  The Sahara Desert is the only natural setting on this planet where you can achieve nirvana without even meditating.  Just sitting in the Sahara for a few hours will make you feel at complete peace.  It’s the only place in the world where I’ve been able to achieve that without blanking out my mind and meditating.  That peace may also be linked to why the Berbers never have serious illnesses.

They also have a very simple diet.  I do mean very simple.  They take a few dates and a container of goat’s milk out with them when they tend the herd for 2-3 days.  They have a light dinner with very little meat.  When I say very little meat…they sometimes eat meat but not very often…and there’s NO PORK in Arabic countries. 

They need very little sleep (3-4 hours). 

The lifestyle is very different, but it’s also very peaceful.  NO STRESS.

There are many factors that have to be studied in understanding what the cures are along with the preventative health measures that are taken.  Many of the medicines developed by the Berber medicine shops are for people like us…those who are not Berber and don’t live out in the desert.  Their methods are very helpful.  I’ve found instant relief in many of their cures.  But I’ve also found that it’s good to always use their methods, like drinking mint tea after every meal, in order to keep the symptoms from returning.

Drinking one cup of the medicinal tea each morning also helps calm my stomach and it takes the pain away from my left lung so that I can breathe easier.

For those who do order the migraine oil, let me know how it works out.  I bought a bottle for a friend, so I’m hoping it works for her.  If you buy anything else from the shop, let me know what you think of the product.  I know the Argan Oil lotion has been a favorite amongst my girlfriends.  They were so happy I brought a jar back for them.  They like it better than the stuff being sold in America.  It may have a little thing to do with…Morocco keeps everything all natural.

1.  Drugs in the NHL?  Why is this so surprising?  OR Was it just faux pas to discuss it?  It’s funny, I was telling someone recently while we were sitting at a restaurant in Prague…I was pondering talking about drugs in the NHL…and what I know.  Certain players would be suing me for telling the truth about what I know.  But then I don’t want to burn that NHL bridge, so I decided against it when I write about my final season.

So now Georges Laraque is under attack from the media because he started talking about doping in the NHL?  Why does this surprise anyone?  Or are they just surprised someone came forward and had the balls to actually talk about it?  I give Georges credit for publishing what I was thinking about publishing myself. 

At any rate, I can’t wait to get my hands on Laraque’s new book (scheduled to be released on November 8).  He doesn’t name names as far as the doping is concerned.  BUT he does talk about the stuff I love to hear him talking about…about being a better person.  That’s what I admire about Georges.  He’s got a big heart and he’s always trying to use his celebrity to inspire others to be better people. 

I do question why the media is attacking him for talking about doping and drugs in the NHL.  Like they don’t know this stuff happens.

Theoren Fleury?  What about Todd Fedoruk talking to USA Today about his drug addiction partying hard alongside Derek Boogaard?  Derek was also Georges’ friend.  Georges found out from me that Derek had died.  So keep in mind that he’s thinking of his friend by publishing what he has to say about drugs and doping in the NHL.  Maybe he’s bringing the story to the forefront so that he can save other lives in the NHL.  Something to think about…

2.  Schedule.  Because I have to finish not just one book, but two books in the upcoming months, I had to sit down and really take control of my schedule and not let it overrun my life with too much to do and too little time to do it in.  Usually, I attend every Devils home game that I can while I’m in town.  BUT because I’m working on deadlines, I’m limiting myself to home games during the week so that I can focus on my home and other working projects on the weekends.

Originally, we had lined up someone to help me out at the beginning of the season so that I could focus on finishing “Losing 100 Pounds of Unhappiness.”  BUT things didn’t go as planned and I lost my colleague to Syracuse University’s grad school program.  I’m just going to have to make do with what I can, when I can.

Speaking of Laraque and my schedule…I’m scheduled to meet with him next month for a couple of days.  He’ll be cooking for me (well…in the raw vegan sense)…and talking about a lot of different topics.  This was all HIS idea. I’m very honored he thought of me.  We’ll be working on video segments as well as written work…and maybe he’ll let me be a photographer and photograph him in the ‘cool’ sense of the word. 

I also got word that the Winter Classic is very likely on my schedule.  I’ll probably be covering the Rangers aspect…or I’ll do like I did last time and cover the entire aspect of it in the NHL sense.  {Why do I feel certain Flyers fans are going to be giggling and saying…nope…this is in a Jagr sense?}

3. Upping the Savings.  I’m supposed to be working my derriere off for the next six months.  Why?  Well, when you’re planning a new life, especially one that takes you to a new country, you have a lot of work to do before then.  For me, that’s getting 2 books to the publishers, correlating all information from my final season with the NHL, cleaning out the home and sticking a lot of stuff on Ebay, donating stuff to charity, setting up shop to make sure I have a business running and in place when I leave the country, getting ready for my last Christmas, getting the photographs up and ready for sale…

In other words, a lot of this all surrounds amassing as much money as I can before I leave the country.  In April, I have to drop around $7,000 just to head to the desert for six days (and travel the remaining 8 days around the country gathering more stories and photos) to decide what we’re doing…better yet, decide where I’m moving.  Driss told me to just move to a city in Morocco…live four hours from the desert.  The nomad can visit on his days off or I can go to visit him on his days off.

Moving to a foreign country costs money.  I will probably not have a job, so I’ll need to have income coming in somehow.  My ticket to doing that just so happens to surround setting up consistent income from the USA while I’m away.  Sell a couple of books, stories, etc. equals steady income for a few years.  Cost of living is low, so I can rent a place for the next 9 years for next to nothing based on what I already have saved up.

But me, being the worry wart about money, has to make sure that I have more than enough money saved to last me a very, very, very long time.  If you notice, I’m not depending on my future hubby’s income.  I’m depending on my own.  You can say that if there’s anything I learned from my mother…stockpiling money and saving it up, despite the hubby’s income, is very important for the ‘just in case.’

Keep in mind, I make more money than he does in one year as compared to seven years income for him.  Granted, I could just be a nomad, but I like electricity too much…and running water.  Those are two things that will probably keep me from being a desert nomad for the rest of my life. 😉

4. This Is What Dating Is Like.  Hamid told me to come back to the desert in a year and he’ll take me out into the desert for six days and we will decide what to do.  But I can’t wait a year.  I gave him six months. 

You see…desert nomads believe that if it’s love, that love will always return to you.  They are wanderers and rarely if ever stay in one spot.  They believe in not looking at love as a possession, but as something that is as free as they are. 

In this case, falling in love and letting it go…if it was meant to be…it will come back to you.  In Berber tradition, waiting a year is usual.  Both families normally meet each other to decide whether this is a good match before allowing the couple to date for 1 year.  That 1 year is basically a promise to marry.  Rings are exchanged and everything.  But in that year, they can break up if things don’t work out.  But if they do work out, they marry (3 day wedding), and spend the rest of their lives together.  They do not divorce.

The wife is usually accustomed to their husband leaving and coming back.  What usually brings him back is love.  Nomads are wanderers and can be gone for six months…sometimes three years.  Why do you think Driss keeps telling me to move to the city?  Maybe so I won’t be bored out of my mind or on the verge of the Shining or something out in the desert all by myself.

That’s what is so interesting about this…a nomad falling in love with someone and then letting them go to wander away from him…he has enough faith in God to know that if this really is love…she’ll return to him in the desert.  He already knows that I’m coming back in six months. 

After the first two weeks of being away from him, I thought I was going to go nuts.  I can’t call him, email him, or send him a letter.  He doesn’t have a phone, the internet or a mailing address.  I have to send someone to the desert to talk to him for me. 

My colleague told me that not being able to communicate through normal means makes the story even more romantic.  It really tests you to make sure that what you are feeling is very real.  It makes you fall deeper in love with each other. 

I had to tell myself to let go of needing to talk to him or hear from him.  I have to wait six months.  If I don’t let go of needing to feel that connection…I’m going to go crazy.  It took a week for me to learn to let go, but it took “The Alchemist” to realize that this is what happens in those love stories from God.  You can feel the kiss on the wind from thousands of miles away.  You can see the sun rising over the mountains of Algeria, and feel him tell you that he misses you and that he wishes you were there with him watching another sunrise. 

That’s the magic and beauty of it all.  You let your souls do the talking to each other from thousands of miles away.  If the souls do not talk to each other during that time…it wasn’t meant to be.  It wasn’t love.

But I can tell you, it’s love alright.  I felt his happiness last week when he learned that I would be back in six months.  Now, I’m just waiting for the messenger to get back to me to confirm that all is okay with coming back in April. 

If anything, I think I like dating this way.  When Hamid described it to me, I could only respond, “This is how dating should be.”  For us, we just let our souls do the talking.

I like God’s hand in writing love stories.  All I can point to is “The Alchemist.”  That explains the story being written about the two of us perfectly.  This is just how things are done in the nomad tradition.  It makes the love story much more meaningful.  Until April, we’ll just have to count the sunrises and sunsets over our respective abodes until we see each other again.

That’s a lot of sunrises in New York City.

Here are this week’s Top 5 Loves.

1.  Kovalchuk’s Got a Brand New Bag.  I’ve had serious mad love for my new Fendi messenger bag that I picked up a few months ago.  I’ve been carrying it around (only in NYC area, not internationally) since early September.  So imagine my surprise when I found out that someone else likes the couture logo happy messenger bag style. 

Spotted in the New Jersey Devils locker room…Ilya Kovalchuk’s new Louis Vuitton messenger bag.

I have nothing but MAD LOVE for that new bag.  {This is not the exact one, because Louis Vuitton makes a few men’s styles, and I think Kovy has the lighter version of this bag…which is not on sale online…and rare to find.  Sorry…I glimpsed at it for 2 seconds, just long enough to make out the LV pattern and the messenger bag.}

His new bag inspired me to start shopping for my next bag:  another vintage Louis Vuitton to add to my purse collection, but this one’s the Alma signature bag I’ve been thinking about for the last four months.

2. Learning How To Be a Better Photographer.  I came across this article “22 Things You Can Do Today To Change Your Photography Forever” which gave me more ideas on what to do with my thousands upon thousands of pictures I’ve taken over the last few years.  While I’ve been contemplating Zazzle.com and creating some tote bags for friends to put their Christmas gifts in, this article actually gave me even more ideas on how to start putting my work out there more.  Give the article a whirl if you are a photographer.  Not only will you pick up some ideas on how to promote your work, but it will give you even more ideas on how to become a better photographer.  After all, one of the many reasons why I’m moving to Africa…my next dream is to photograph for National Geographic.  (Check out the NG link…some great photos and articles from NG photographers on how they do what they do.)

3.  Pinterest.  For those who like to be inspired for your home, wardrobe, DIY projects or what have you…this site is great for inspiration.  It will also link you up to other blogs where you can learn how to make a lot of recipes, DIY projects, or just find something of interest (that’s where I found the 22 Things Photography post).  The pictures are always awe inspiring. 

Case in point, those Zazzle.com tote bags I’ve been pondering, well, thanks to Pinterest, I found MarthaStewart.com gives a tutorial on how I can transfer my photographs and images that I’ve designed onto a canvas tote bag myself!  It’s a very easy DIY project that I can do at home and play around with instead of depending on a manufacturer to make them for me.

4.  Everything Fab.  I like the idea of sharing on the 5 Friday Loves, a new blog with you that I am currently stalking religiously.  Thanks to Twitter, I’ve been introduced to a few of the girls in this lovely blogging community…and it’s a ‘tight’ community.  You start to get to know these girls on Twitter, but better yet, they start to inspire you with the things that they find.  I always love the pictures they take and post up.

It’s like looking into the day in the life of someone else through pictures…and you learn some tips and tricks from home decor to fashion (I LOVE both topics).  So give them a whirl…they always get me thinking about how I can take some of their ideas and apply it to my life.  We call that INSPIRATION!

5.  New Jersey Devils’ Own Petr Sykora.  Now, before the jealous types start asking…why is Petr Sykora on my Top 5 Friday Loves list…it’s actually quite innocent.  ESPN did a story on professional athletes that wear their wedding band when they play in games.  NJD’s own Petr Sykora has been caught out on the ice wearing his.  When I think back to the first time I ever saw Sykora years ago…that wedding band was a part of who he was…and what I loved about it…he just radiates that love he has for his wife.  It’s so beautiful to see that love.  That ring is his commitment to that love.  READ THIS to see who else wears their wedding band during the game.

* * * * * * * *

I leave you with a little love poem from Rumi . . .

The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,

they’re in each other all along.

{Going to forewarn you that I’m talking about everything that’s on my mind today…so pay attention…lots of different stuff, including that thing called sports.}

I spent most of Day 55 going through 100s of photos from Paris, Rabat, Meknes and Volublis.  The next Moroccan post that I go back to is the one that everyone in Morocco (that I met) is waiting for…my tour of Fes. 

I forgot that most of my tour of Fes wound up on my BlackBerry because I had exceeded my photo limit on my SD card for the camera (oops…forgot to transfer all of the pics onto the laptop).  So now that all of those BB photos are transferred to Facebook, I’ll collect them later for the slideshow. 

It’s funny about inspiration…when you’re doing the things you love to do, you feel even more inspired to do other things…and well, inspire others along the way too.

This weekend, due to the lovely October snowstorm (really, the universe just likes to keep reminding me why I’m destined for the desert…not one single sign says to stay in NYC), I got a chance to get through some of my photos and bake two batches of cornbread (one with jalapenos, the other with the corn relish I canned earlier this summer).

There’s a part of me that says…continue/finish decorating the apartment like I planned before I left the country (as if I wasn’t leaving).  The other part of me says not to worry about decorating and continue on, because I can ship it all to Morocco when the time comes.  I’m just in that uncertainty period where I start to ask myself again and again…am I really moving to Morocco?  Am I really in love with this guy?  I must be insane…

Then I look up and see a sign saying, “What is your heart telling you?”  My heart is telling me that I’ve already committed my heart and soul to someone in Morocco.  All of the signs in my life are pointing to Morocco.  So I guess I should stop questioning myself, right?

There’s something I haven’t discussed yet as one of the main reasons (besides love) why Morocco has become the new destination in my life. 

When I was out in the sand dunes with Hamid, I was telling him about cancer…as in “I have cancer.”  He looked at me funny when I said that because he didn’t know what the word was. 

I tried to explain it to him.  The entire time he kept looking at me, trying to understand this sickness…this disease.  He didn’t understand it at all.  Then he says to me, “The nomad people don’t have this cancer.  Sure, they get sick every now and again, but we have plants to cure the sickness.”

Do you see what’s passing through my mind after that?  Nomads don’t have cancer.  No one has ever had cancer.  No one has ever had any of the symptoms I described to him.  No one has had tumors…they die of either an accident or old age.

I’m thinking…maybe there’s a cure here.  Maybe there’s something about the nomadic lifestyle that prevents people from having cancer. 

Maybe I can be cured.

The Sahara Desert has mystical and very magical healing properties.  I can’t even begin to re-tell all of the stories I was told about the Sahara’s healing properties.  People just lay out in the sand and then they’re cured.  Don’t ask me how it works…it’s magic.

I’m sure if most pro athletes that suffered from severe muscle pains and injuries headed to the sand dunes of the Sahara, they could walk away in 3 days time completely healed (as some people have told me…they leave better than new).  All of this is accomplished without surgery or drugs.

I can even attest to the magical healing properties of the desert.  It healed my heart and my soul…and then made me fall in love with the guy sitting next to me just a few seconds later…someone I never would have dreamed of falling in love with (I mean…come on…me, a girl from NYC, fall in love with a Muslim Arab nomad…who does that?).  That’s why I keep talking about how I’m not sure if the Sahara was playing tricks on me or if I really did fall in love with a nomad.  She seriously does this to people!

As my time grows closer and closer to leaving the US, there seems to be a bucket list forming.  Take Christmas, for example…on Friday, I thought about what kind of Christmas tree I was going to have…but I like this idea so much better…

What’s great about this option is that I can give the trees away to someone when I move away.  The trees can either be kept in their home, or they can pull the trees out and plant them in their yard.  I can even give one of them to my brother to plant in his yard.

What I also like about the trees in the pitcher option is that they are very much alive and thriving…which makes them even more beautiful to look at.  Who would have thought of putting pine trees in a pitcher or a vase?  LOVE IT!

I also found another DIY gift for my friends.  Since this will be my last Christmas with them, I wanted to make the gifts more personal and something they will remember me by (photos are definitely part of the gift bags). 

I found another recipe that all of my friends will love and enjoy.  Peppermint stick cocoa!  

Doesn’t it look delish?  It’s very simple to make and the jars are very easy to find online at either Sur La Table or Crate & Barrel. 

I’ll have to figure out an all vegan/vegetarian option for this recipe.  I think a certain former Canadien might like something like this too…if I can figure out how to do this in a vegan option.  {Maybe I should just Google DIY vegan gifts.}

Speaking of hockey…I return to hockey this Wednesday.  I also wasn’t scheduled to do the Winter Classic…but my editor is now telling me that it’s a possibility, because you know…it is my final season.  Not getting my hopes up, because I’m okay if I don’t go.  I’ve got All-Stars later that month with Winter Adams…and then that whole…Morocco trip in April (going to cost more than the last trip). 

Speaking of the final season…I’m watching the NBA lockout right now, because like most of us on the 2012 NHL lockout watch are doing, we’re watching what the NBA will do, because it is a precursor to what will happen during the 2012 CBA talks.  So union reps, I’ll be looking to get some input on what you think and see as the NBA talks continue and how it will relate to the future 2012 talks.  For those interested, the NBAPA tweeted this article which is very much worth the read.  Just a pissing match…and the NBA benefitting off of a bunch of jocks that aren’t so smart.  Oh, I pray the jocks get smart with this one or face getting screwed.  

I did mention back in July that one of the reasons why this is my last season has a little something to do with the upcoming lockout that I think many of us are expecting to see.  Then again, I had a feeling in July my world was changing and it was time to move on to the next phase in life. 

The weird part in all of this…the movers and shakers of the NHL have been sending me emails and messages about the NBA lockout.  If it wasn’t on my radar before, it’s now on my radar.

Next, I see NBA people are following me.  I even got an email about some NBA job openings in Minnesota.  I don’t think my life is moving towards the NBA, but right now…all I can say is that what’s happening now…the universe is dropping it into my lap saying, “PAY ATTENTION.”  And if I haven’t started paying attention…the who’s who of the NHL are telling me to “PAY ATTENTION.”

Maybe you should be, too.

I love Paris.  The only thing I don’t like about it is all of the smoking.  All of the smoking alone would prevent me from ever moving to Paris. 

Out of the four stops in Paris last month, I was only able to get out and photograph the city two times.  The main places were the Latin Quarter, the Notre Dame and the Sacre Coeur. 

The main reason why I went to Paris was to take photos I’ve been wanting to hang in my kitchen.  I’ve been searching for the right look for 5 years now and no photos came across as ones I’d want to grace my kitchen walls.  So I gave up looking for the right photo and decided to just go to Paris and take the photos myself.

The day I was supposed to go to the Eiffel Tower and L’Arche de Triomphe, I ended up getting sick (thanks to the cigarette smoke).  I ended up staying in the hotel and sleeping all day, so I never got out to take the photos I wanted.  Instead, I got over 139 photos of Paris…and I think that’s good enough.

Of my favorite places we saw on Day 31, the 5th century Roman ruins in Volubilis tops the day.  In the pictures, what you see is what is left of this once great city of Volubilis, one of the many cities controlled by the Romans. 

From mosaics of Roman legends including Hercules, Medusa and Venus, you can still find them in tact over 2000 years later.  They are still as beautiful now, as I can imagine they were then.  Many of the mosaics uncovered have actually been restored.

In the slideshow, you will see a picture of a carving of a penis.  I guess that deserves some sort of explanation.  That stone carving was used to ‘point’ the direction to the nearest brothel.  As you can also see, the penis is circumcised, which means that this certain brothel was for Jewish men.

While Hassan was showing me around his paradise of Volubilis, we ran across a few young couples sitting in the ruins talking to each other.  As much as Hassan was annoyed by these young lovers that come from the college nearby, I snapped a photo of two of them (in the traditional sense…the woman’s face you cannot see). 

In a way, when I think of Morocco, I think of this kind of quiet, very special romantic love shared in some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever feasted my eyes on.  After all, watching the sun setting in Volubilis over the Roman ruins is something you’ll never forget.  It adds to that special romantic charm.

After my tour, Hassan explained to me that every single day he gets to see this paradise of Volubilis, but that day, he said, “Looking at you has been paradise to my eyes.”  Such a poet…but then again, that’s the kind of stuff I heard throughout this amazing country called Morocco.  Do you blame me for wanting to move there permanently? 

If you could spend every day seeing the beauty of paradise, hear someone tell you how beautiful you are, and spend it sitting next to someone your soul has intertwined in love with, watching the sun setting, the sun rising, and the stars in between…and feel God everywhere and love in every single person surrounding you…wouldn’t you feel absolutely complete?

As Driss and I drove away from Volubilis on our way to Fes, we spent the next hour watching the sun setting in the distance as we circled down the mountains.  To see the sky changing colors against the Atlas Mountains in the distance, that is beauty beyond comparison.  It’s a paradise of its own.