Perfectionist Wannabe - a Michelle Kenneth site
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Author: Michelle Kenneth

The Bag Guide

29 March 2012

Have you seen Net-a-Porter’s Bag Guide video?  Talk about a fantasy purse closet!  Since I saw the video, I’ve been on the hunt for an armoire to house my ever growing purse collection. 

Speaking of my ever growing purse collection…the hunt is on for spring/summer.  Here’s my lust list.

1. Zara Large Rigid Shopper, $169.

2. Rebecca Minkoff Affair bag, $250.

3. Rebecca Minkoff Love Spell Satchel, $495.

4. Valentino Garavani, original $1,160. Marked down to $690.

5. Michael Kors. Original $322, marked down to $225.

There are a lot of nudes and natural colors in my top 4, but that just means the bags will get some serious extra mileage for the next few years!

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One Kings Lane

28 March 2012

I might be a little in love with this online store, One Kings Lane.  It’s a home decor sample sale site.  I didn’t think I’d find anything I liked or a price I could love…until I actually clicked through the site.

$300 worth of damage later…I have a bunch of new stuff for the kitchen…and a brand new mirror for the bedroom.  Here are a few scores I found:

These Maison plates come in a set of 4 for $19. (All in French to go with my Parisian kitchen.)

Set of 4 Maison Mugs for $19. (Also, in French.)

Set of 4 Cafe de Paris dessert plates, $25.

Tea towels listing a menu in French! $16.00

But my favorite buy I can’t wait to get?

This little lady was $149.  I had a couple of choices and I went with this one because it was the biggest. 

I did pick up a few more French kitchen accessories in yellow to complement my kitchen and create a new tablescape. 

In other words, my Parisian kitchen is coming along just fine.  Just to give you an idea of the color scheme in my kitchen…it looks a lot like this (so dreamy)…

If you like what you see and love the prices as much as I do…head on over to One Kings Lane.  Oh, and when you sign up with that link, you’ll get a $15 credit when you join.

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Best SPAM Mail I’ve Ever Read

27 March 2012

Ok…before I copy and paste this email I got on my private email address…keep in mind this was sent to ME…a woman.  This is probably the funniest email I have ever read in my life. 

Enjoy! [In the pink are my comments]

Private Email Message

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 3:36 PM
 
From:
“Capri Faulkner” kuyiydddoq@1095dialup.com 
 
To:
msrockfan22@yahoo.com [I have no idea whose email address this is]
 

BABE… i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

In case u dont know who this is its ME Capri.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me 🙁 haha.. anyways guess what… I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago… and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol… ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in…are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused…anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe…

we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol…ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death… uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah…who doesnt..

I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..

do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that…really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i……???? ok WELLLL… and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA… BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh…anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol… i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out….like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal….every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else… the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF… i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER… i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room…

if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U… im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan 🙁 I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move… REALLY i mean that….anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont

wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha…k babe im out
for now… chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Capri

[Student loans, eh?  What in the hell was s/he taught in college?  Apparently it wasn’t how to spell.  That was also the longest ass SPAM email I have ever read in my life.]

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Things I Did Today (Without Spending Money)

26 March 2012

While this sounds a little dullsville…it’s actually not.  I actually forced myself to NOT spend money today.  Here are some things I did that actually just goes right along with my lifestyle.

1.  Brought My Meals To Work.  On Sunday, I decided to cook…and I cooked up a lot of meals.  I roasted a ham I picked up from Target on Saturday, and made my favorite vegetarian tortilla soup.  Mashed potatoes?  Why, yes, I did.  Green split pea soup?  Why not.  I decided to just make all of my meals, including prepping all of my smoothies to take to the office.  This is a savings between $5-$15 per day.

The last time I got a ham, I didn’t know how I would get through all of it.  Lesson learned…FREEZE the ham.  That means I don’t have to have ham in every single meal for the next month!  Freezing it means I can have ham for the next 3 months. 

I threw in ham into my pasta salad for work today, threw all the fatty, juicy bits into the split pea soup.  I put the vegetarian tortilla soup, as well as the leftover gravy and fruit used to sweeten the ham, into canning jars.  The gravy came in handy for the mashed potatoes!  It will also come in handy for other recipes I create this week. 

Sometimes I forget just how much I enjoy cooking and creating recipes (or even stirring up one from the 1950s like the country baked ham recipe I did over the weekend).  I get lazy and just order out all of the time.  Now, I’m just trying to make sure I don’t do that as much anymore.

[BONUS: Happiness factor in doing something I enjoy doing.]

2. Earned Miles.  Nope, you don’t always have to board a plane to earn miles.  Just by spending 5 minutes a week taking little surveys, I earn 5 miles per survey at www.e-miles.com.  Today, I deposited 500 miles into my United Airlines frequent flyer account.  Trust me, the miles add up rather quickly.  I am usually able to take a free flight once a year with all of the miles I build up.  Cost to me…just 5 minutes of my time to earn FREE miles.  You can sign-up for FREE at e-miles to start earning miles.  Each survey earns you 5 miles.  

Sometimes, I’ll up the miles by donating to a charity they list.  It’ll boost my miles by 250-1000 miles.  It’s cheaper than flying to get those miles.   

[BONUS: Get to spend fraction of my time to earn miles towards free travel.]

3. Got 2 magazine subscriptions.  I got two free 1-year magazine subscriptions today for Martha Stewart Living and her clean living magazine called WHOLE LIVING.  How did I do it?  I cashed in some rewards points from RecycleBank. 

Like e-miles, you can earn reward points for learning how you can become more eco-friendly.  It takes maybe 5-15 minutes of your time a week to take a few surveys.  You can earn reward points to use towards coupons or even magazine subscriptions. 

[BONUS: Get free stuff I like for a few minutes of my time a week.]

3.  Opened Up A Money Market Account.  This is something I should have done a long time ago…open up a money market account. 

After filing my taxes last week, I have been trying to figure out how to use the refund wisely.  I was starting to get nervous as I looked at my bills, the cost for plane tickets to Venice, Italy, and the cost of my trip to Morocco.  It’s enough to make me faint!  And then I just opened up a money market account and all of the stress went away. 

I’m dumping the majority of the refund (minus a few bills and plane tix) into the account and then I’m just going to start investing the money.  Sure, this may be high risk for some, but not if you invest the way that I do.  I’ve had a lot of good luck investing over the years.  If a guy on Wall Street laughs at my stock decision…I know to invest, because then my portfolio comes out at 300%+ in returns.  It happens every single time. 

[BONUS: Ease of money worries, because I’m making more money off of my money.]

4.  Did My Research.  Before I even opened up my money market account, I was reading Zero Passive Income.  I always find his blog to be very inspiring.  He thinks like a go-getter who is working on his wealth…and you know what?  He’s just an average guy just like you and me.  He’s found ways to build his wealth.

Things don’t happen overnight when it comes to making your millions.  It’s a slow and steady climb…and he shows us how he’s doing it.  There are setbacks and bad investments…then there are the investments that earn nothing at first, but then slowly begins to build. 

You start to learn about residual income and how you can make a little extra money each month through things like AdSense. 

Just recently, he’s explained how a couple of internet sites allow you to loan money to people all over the world for only $25.  These loans allow needy business owners to help build their businesses.  [See Kiva.org]  This not-for-profit is working towards eradicating poverty all over the world by helping people with small business loans funded by people like you and me.

What is it that Russell Simmons says all of the time?  Help others grow their wealth, and your wealth will also grow.

One of my favorite things about his site?  The spiritual lessons he shares…those are great lessons to live by.  One of his most recent lessons was about giving…and being grateful that you actually have something to give and share with the world (and not think how giving will cost you).

[BONUS: Knowledge is power.  Learn something new every day about the things that are important to you…and always read at least 1 or 2 things that will empower your soul.  Knowledge is PRICELESS.] 

5.  Read a book.  Oh, this one is probably the most important one.  My friend and I have a little bit of an addiction to young adult books.  If we actually bought every single book we read…we’d be out by about $500-$1000.  That’s how much we read all of these different book series.  

Thank goodness for interlibrary loan!  If my library doesn’t have the next FableHaven, then another library in the county will have it.  All I have to do is order it online with my library card.  My library emails me when it arrives and I have a free book to read.  

My library also serves as my DVD rental place too.  I can get the latest DVD (barring no one has it checked out) for free.  Gone are the days of Netflix, Blockbuster and every other DVD rental place that charges you money to borrow their DVDs.  

[BONUS: Why pay for something I can get for free elsewhere?]

6. Still Did Not Join a Gym.  🙂 Ok…really, I have a legitimate doctor’s excuse that I’m not allowed to join a gym.  But just because I have an excuse, doesn’t mean that I listen to the doctors all of the time…I just take it easy.

Thanks to one of my bosses who is friends with Rodney Yee (owner of Gaiam), Rodney gave me a free copy of my favorite Yoga Abs video (it was renamed when they put it on DVD and I didn’t know which one it was.  Rodney knew so he dug through and found it for me and gave it to me as a gift).  That DVD is a godsend!  I use it in the morning and it alleviates all of the pain in my back (plus, it makes my abs hurt like a sonofabitch for the next three days). 

I found that my library also has a lot of workout videos that I can checkout…BUT the best way to get out of ever joining a gym?  Running.  It’s free.  You just need a good pair of running shoes which you will have to buy a new pair after every 500 miles (or 6 months). 

Weights?  Do situps and push-ups. 

You get the basics in yoga, pilates and tai chi down…you can do them at home for free for flexibility and core training.  You don’t always need a machine to workout. 

[BONUS: Working out for free equals a healthier life and no extra bill to pay…more money to use elsewhere.]

7. I Cleaned Out My Closet.  You won’t even be able to believe how much space I’ve got in my closet now!  I did the first run through last night and this morning.  It’s now divided up into two groups…stuff to be resold and the stuff going to charity.

It’s actually nice to declutter my closet and get all of those super heavy sweaters out of there.  I was running out of room!  It was actually a great way to reassess the person I want to be going into the spring/summer months and the stuff I’m ready to let go of. 

This is where the spiritual lesson of the day comes in…my meditation mantras right now are: To Heal and To Change.  Those are the two mantras I keep repeating to myself.  The discussion at the time was at a much higher level on what they both meant…but at a more physical level, it means a lot.  They are the building blocks to approaching all walks of life.

From broken hearts to trying to understand why things are the way that they are in every spectrum…as long as I focus on healing what is wrong…the next step is to change myself for the better…to learn from each and every thing that I feel is hurting me. 

That’s the point of this whole post…not spending money.  Each aspect focuses on things about me that I needed to heal and to change.  In the first item, it was about not being lazy and focusing on doing something I know I love doing…cooking.  How soon I can forget that I can make the most amazing meals that is good for my body (and I know what’s going into it).  Healing my body means making the extra effort to take care of myself…and save money by not spending close to $1000 a month in dining out, but by curbing my spending and doing something I love even more…nurturing me by doing something I love to do.  It’s food for the soul.

In the second item, I love to travel.  I have a lot of trips coming up and hate spending money on plane tickets to places I’d rather not go.  Building up miles actually helps relieve that stress involved with booking airline tickets to a place I have to go to (and can’t stand)…just by building up miles to pay for the damn thing.  The point is…it’s less stress on my psyche.

The third item was doing something smart with my finances.  I’ve put off doing this simple little task for years.  I finally made myself do something good for my finances.  It heals an aspect that I always disliked about how I managed my account.  This created change in my financial house of cards.

In the fourth item, I got inspiration that what I was doing in the third item was the wise step.  It gave me good tidbits for the soul when it comes to money…and that’s something I was sorely lacking.  It healed that aspect of conflict in my soul when it came to money…and it will help lead the way in my next venture with money.  It’s a lesson to be learned when I keep hearing in my head that I need to give 40% of my earnings back to the world.  That is real sacrifice…but I should be thankful that I have something like that to give to the world…it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a gift.

In the fifth item, it is a constant reminder that I do have flaws in my life…entertainment being one of them (I am an American, after all).  I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to pay to be entertained.  I can just pick up a book and read.  I have a massive library at home that is starting to rival my own public library.  If I want something new…I can get it for free.  If I didn’t monitor spending in this category, I would end up spending a good $500 every month on entertainment (DVDs, books, going out, etc.).  I can get this stuff for free!  To heal this flaw is to change the mindset to think constantly…never pay for something that you can get for free.

In the sixth item, it’s a reminder that I have all of the tools to workout…so I should.  I know my limitations.  Practice makes perfect…and healing the body takes time.  It’s a slow and steady practice that will one day heal the soul.  It takes change within the mind to make a consistent effort to workout…even when the doctor is saying…”No, not this month…we’ll try again next month.”  Sometimes it just takes one slow step into change in order to finally get back on track.

In the last item…it’s all about changing the way I live.  Emptying out the closets is actually the first step in my remodel.  It’s about decluttering my life.  It all starts with what’s around you and getting rid of it.  You don’t need it.  You don’t need to hold onto it, because it’s not making you any happier. 

I have a lot of new home decorating things coming in…but it’s to change the way things look around me…to give it a fresher and crisper look…but if I see clutter or too much stuff…I am starting to think…it’s just too much.  That’s why I’m not spending money.  I’m focusing on what I’d rather be spending my money on…like a fabulous trip to Italy and Morocco for my birthday.

I’d rather spend more money on the experience than shopping.  I requested that little to no shopping take place in Morocco.  I’m just happy having my camera with me.  Those are my souveniers when I travel. 

Sometimes you just have to keep going and going and going until your gut splits before you’ll stop.  That’s what’s happened to me and shopping.  I don’t want to spend anymore money on things I don’t need (or that horrible moment when you pull something out of your closet and realized you didn’t know you owned it). 

This is how I’m healing…and then I’m changing.  The first step is always looking to see what needs to be healed.  After you heal, that is when you change. 

Changing the world and healing it…it all begins with yourself. 

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A New Heaven

23 March 2012

Today’s post is an inspirational one.

I was wondering when my magical karmic ride would start to fall.  Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, you’re always waiting for that fall.  I’ve been waiting for four years for that fall…and it finally came.

I keep thinking about how I used up all of that good karma I had banked up and wasted it on something I regret having wasted it on.  In a way, it’s like a reflection of my life and how I bank up so many things and then waste it on something I don’t even need or want…or means nothing in the end.

I keep thinking about how I have to rebuild that good karmic balance again and never stop at banking up all of those good deeds.  In other words, I don’t ever plan on spending what I banked up ever again.  Why?  Because I’ve learned that when you save up for a dream your entire life, sometimes when that dream arrives…it’s not what you wanted after all.  You realize that the dream never changed…you have changed. 

Coming down from my four year high on the universe, I got served with papers saying that I’m now the Republican Party’s material witness for something that took place 8-10 years ago…and the trial starts right around the time of my vacation.  I started having dreams about the people I’ve left behind…the people you just want to shake and say, “You are so stupid when it comes to love!”  I started getting wedding invitations from friends I left behind.  I became confronted with my past…a world I never wanted to see again, let alone make it part of my present.

As I look across the ocean from the East Coast to the world that lies beyond, I realize that I can’t keep running from my past.  I have to face it head on.  While I could tell the Republican Party to f*ck off…I decided that I would help them with their litigation.  Why?  Because of what the case is really about.  After all, the Republican Party was so kind to me for years…even though they knew I was not a Republican.  I only wish the Democratic Party had been as kind to me as the Republicans were.  How could I smack them in their face when they had never done anything wrong to me but only shown me kindness?  I’ll have to become their material witness and see my name splattered across newspapers all across America. 

Sometimes, even though you are in conflict with doing something you do not want to do, you still have to choose to do the right action.  That is for the benefit of everyone.  You have to sacrifice yourself for the betterment of society.  You have to take your self out of what you want in order to help the multitudes.

You have to learn how to create the world you want to see around you. 

Since I decided to forego love, romance and marriage, that means that I am ready to completely take on a new role in life.  I had to keep revisiting the past, thinking it over and what had happened…what kept happening…I had to see my life from outside of the box to realize…everything is always the same.  It never changes.  Tragedy always creates the best love stories.  Ironically, tragedy is the story in all of my love stories.  Thank God I’m a writer, right? 

I had to see my world from the outside.  While I wanted to give blessings to the world of joy, happiness, peace and love, God asked me how I could give those blessings to others when I didn’t have it within myself.  What I thought was joy, happiness, peace and love…just is not so.  I don’t have any of those things anymore.

I had to ask when was the last time I did anything good for someone that wasn’t me.  I actually couldn’t even come up with one example.

The things that once brought me joy, happiness, peace and love…they don’t anymore. 

I had to ask myself a lot of questions, including that whole “Are you depressed?”  “Are you stressed about something?”  “What are you doing wrong in your life?”

About a decade ago, I discovered that when I shop to no end…until it actually hurts me…that means that I’m depressed.  These days, it means that I’m really upset about something. 

I stop eating.  I start stressing.  I can’t sleep at night and end up watching cartoons for most of the night.  I slowly start to see everything spin out of control…because I’m hitting rock bottom.

It’s that fall that MUST happen before you can change your entire world and trade it in for something greater than you could ever imagine.  People that aspire to greatness MUST fall in order to change the world.  Paulo Coelho said that a person must fall 7 times in order to reach that greatness…with each fall, comes greater things…and they’re even better than the last.

So the next great climb for me…it’s what I call the New Heaven.  I knew that while I was in Morocco, experiencing something very spiritual and very magical, that the end of my old life (as a hockey writer) would come to an end and a new life would emerge.

I saw the great things that would happen, but I also envisioned a New Heaven…a new Garden of Eden.  I could see how amazing this place could become.  Why?  Because I could feel God everywhere.  It was as if I was walking inside God’s heaven on earth.  It’s talked about at the end of Revelations…the time when God will create a new heaven on a new earth.  It talks of how this new place would appear where the sea had dried up.  Morocco is the sea that dried up. 

The people there talk about how one day water will flow through the desert again.  They all speak about it as if it is a prophecy from God that they all know will one day come true.  They have faith that it will come true.  That is the destiny/fate of Morocco. 

I felt like I had finally come home when I was in Morocco.  I could feel God everywhere.  I could see God in the people there.  I could feel him in the wind and in every grain of sand.  God was in Morocco.  The telltale sign that he was truly there…it happened in Marrakech. 

While I could relay to you what happened, you would think it couldn’t happen.  All I can say is that the men in Morocco…the way they describe me to each other, they say “She’s special.”  They mean this in the God sense, not in a man/woman sense.  When I started speaking and understanding Arabic…quoting items from out of their Holy Book that I had never read before so that they could understand how they could best respond to a situation…they knew that I was different.

While they tried to suggest becoming Muslim, I actually had to look at them and say…”I will read your great book.  I will learn from it.  But you have to understand that I have evolved beyond this.”

I know Chrisitans mock Muslims in their faith.  I don’t know why.  Muslims are better Christians.  They are stricter in their faith with God than Christians.  There are still items that are left in the stone age, but over time, they will evolve.  Sometimes it takes a miracle and someone so different to help a person understand God in ways they never imagined they could. 

Morocco was a learning experience.  It was like receiving my orders on where I was heading next…and what I would be committing myself to doing next.  My job now is to create a new heaven on earth and that all starts by creating that new heaven within me.

You cannot bring forth happiness, joy, peace and love into the world when you do not have it within you.  If you want the world to be filled with those things, you have to first be filled with those things…and then share it with the world. 

How do you find those qualities?  Through a lot of meditation, doing great service to God (aka performing good karmic actions), and doing things that can shape the world in those good karmic actions.  You have to be in practice all of the time.  Good thoughts. Good actions.  Good karma.

You have to think beyond just the initial act.  You have to think of how your one action can shape the world.  When you give, make sure you give to the world in a way that will continue the good blessings into the world.  It’s like the pay it forward concept…you do one good deed, make sure that good deed will inspire others to do good with that deed, and inspire others to do more good deeds and so on.  That is the power of good karma…that also means that you have to discern which karmic action will have the biggest kick into the world.

If you want to live in heaven right now, you have to start NOW, and you start by looking within.  What always determines your way into heaven are the actions you commit in this lifetime.  If you hurt someone or do something bad, you will have to answer to everything.  You will have to do so in life, as well as at the end. 

Just imagine if you spent this life focused only on doing good and sharing that good with everyone around you…it is simpler to answer to the good that you did in life rather than the bad.  Be mindful of your actions, your words, and your thoughts.  Changing the world begins with how you think, how you react, and what you ultimately end up doing.

As my first task in how things change, I have to look within.  I have to work on bringing myself back into that world of joy, happiness, peace and love.  I have to think about doing that for myself first, so that I can actualy share those blessings with the world.  As Christians say, “Let them see God shining through you.”

A Christian once asked me if I was Christian because every time she looked at me, she said that she could see God shining right through me…and all she wanted was to get to that place…where God is.  She asked me how it was possible.  I told her, “Stop being a Christian.” 

Of course, she did not like what I had to say after that.  Moral of the story is that you should never ask questions if you are not prepared for the answers. 

People have this fear of being wrong about what they believe in.  They choose blind faith rather than search for the answers.  When Christians and Muslims alike talk to me about God, they usually are taken aback because I won’t say where I learned what I know.  They simply either say they don’t understand…and then come back to me later to tell me that now they understand what I was saying.  One friend told me that I was on a much higher plane than he was…he was just trying to get to that point and understand God the way that I do.

Muslims have said the same to me.  The way I tell them to approach a situation is not only in agreement with their holy book, but it is also at a much higher plane than Islam.  But they will tell you as simply as the Christians do…this is God’s way of handling things.  It is the evolved way of thinking.

That is what we should all aim to be…evolved in God’s eyes.  Religion does not work.  People need it for whatever reasons…but there are some of us that look at people and say…I don’t understand the conflict.  Why are you conflicted between doing right and wrong?  If you know it is wrong, and against God’s will, why would you do it?  You only do right.

Sure, mistakes can be made.  But to make a conscious decision to hurt others or do wrong…just because you want to have fun…for some people there is no logic behind it.  All we see is how much pain you not only inflicted upon yourself but onto others as well.  That was your choice that you will spend eternity answering to that decision.

In my meditation last night, I was standing in a hallway speaking to God.  Other angels were around us trying to talk to me about the things happening around me.  I looked to the angel coming by on the right side of God and our eyes met.  He was with others and was talking to them.  He acknowledged me, and I looked away. 

God felt the tension building, so he took me away from that scene and pulled me into a secret garden.  He decided to talk to me first before allowing me to speak to that angel. 

I know who that angel was.  The last time he appeared in a meditation, he was angry with me.  He yelled at me and asked me why I was not done with “them” yet.  Why hadn’t I come home yet?  Why did I love humanity so much?  Why did I willingly choose humanity over heaven?  It made no sense to him. 

I could only respond, “My job is not done yet.” 

This is something that has been said in many dreams and many meditations all throughout my life.  I’ve had to answer to these questions in many dreams.  My answer is always the same.  My job is not done yet.

Even when I was shown why I was even in this lifetime to begin with, I remember walking with all of the souls that were heading towards the gates.  An angel saw me walking with the masses and called for me to come over, saying that he had been looking for me. 

I recognized him as a good friend.  Someone I had known for a long time.  He told me to get on the boat.  He said that God wanted me to take the long way back up to make sure that I was truly done with humanity.  He said that God wanted me to make sure that I was completely done. 

He then said, “He’s waiting for you up there.  Whatever you do, don’t get off the boat.”

I swore to him I would not get off the boat, because I knew he was talking about that angel.

The boat passed by man fighting man…killing each other for some dumb reason or another.  I did not get off the boat.

I saw a child crying, dying of hunger.  There are nations that have plenty, but they will not give to those who have nothing.  If man does not care, why should I?  I did not get off the boat.

Next, I saw a group of men on the shores.  I called to the one…one I have known for many lifetimes.  I yelled to him, “What are you doing?”  I scooted over in my seat and patted it.  I told him he should not be there.  He should be with me, on our way to heaven.  He had to get onto the boat.

He shook his head, no.

I asked him why.

He responded, “Don’t you understand?  My work here is not done, yet.”

He reached out his hand to me…and I took his hand and got off the boat.  You could hear a scream, “NO!” from the heavens above…and I was reborn.

That is why that angel has been so mad.  Even my brother has seen him in his own dreams fussing over why I chose to remain here.  Why was I not done with humanity yet?  Oddly enough, when my brother told me of the dream he said, “I didn’t understand why you came back.  Why would you choose earth over heaven?  Better yet, why would you choose hell over heaven?”

I responded to him, “Simple.  My job is not done.”

It was seeing that angel again in my meditation that I realized that the reason why so many things are the way that they are in this lifetime…he has played his hand in it.  I have to take into account why he is doing those things in order to understand what I have to do next.

I have to make things right so that I will not get off that boat again.  I will not feel compelled to save humanity from itself, because they would have the tools to save themselves.

It starts within each one of us.  We have to learn to change ourselves before we can change the world.  The kind of world I seek is that new heaven I keep seeing each time I think of the new journey I am about to embark upon.  I have to look at the world as if I am creating heaven the way I see it, feel it, experience it and live it.  I have to bring what I see into this world so that we can strive to bring heaven here. 

So if I end up telling you soon that I’m going to plant my garden of Eden…you’ll understand…I have my reasons for doing so.  That is how it all begins.  This is the new journey I’m embarking upon…changing everything in this world, because I know I’m running out of time.

 

 

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Dare to Fashionista Up This Tee

22 March 2012

See this tee? The Devils pinned this up on Pinterest…and right next to it, I saw this pin…

I kept looking at the pictures side by side…and then I saw the Devils pin this one up…

Which of course, was right next to my pin on what I’m adding to the wardrobe next…

Then the wheels in my brain started to turn and I realized…I could so pull this off.

Why had I never thought of doing a fashionista sports post on how to fashionista up a simple thing like a Kovalchuk t-shirt?!?!?

Since I saw those pins, I started shopping around for flowing maxi skirts (or even colorful wide leg trousers) to bring this simple Kovalchuk t-shirt into the spring fashionista fantasy wardrobe.  With a pair of gold glitter ballet flats…this could so be a winner. 

So forget how corny most of the stuff is that they sell to women at the NHL shop…why don’t we take it and make it into a feminine worthy outfit? 

[Kovalchuk tee, $24.99; {still looking for the skirt, but found a similar one at Net-a-Porter}; NJD necklace, $49.99; Calla Cuff from Bauble Bar, $32]

If you’re not so daring as to go yellow…try white or black with the maxi skirt or wide leg trousers. For other teams, you could definitely pair up a player’s tee with a maxi skirt in a coordinating color, glitter ballet flats, statement jewelry and a short cardigan or jacket…or even try a button up blouse (see picture above with yellow maxi skirt) tied at the waist.  The possibilities are endless.

Gone are the days of just wearing the tee with jeans or sweatpants.  We can fashionista up these sports tees. 

{Now to figure out how one would fashionista up a jersey!}

 

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Rebecca Minkoff Bag for $60

22 March 2012

Rebecca Minkoff has teamed up with mark. cosmetics to bring you a faux leather bag for…$60.  What a steal!

I already ordered mine! Make sure to use code: MARKFS40 to get free shipping. Plus, this purchase qualifies you to pick up the Some Like It Haute Bag for $25 (originally priced at $34).

You can pick up your Rebecca Minkoff Delight Bag HERE.  Gotta say…always great to see an affordable bag from Rebecca Minkoff.

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Kiss Your Life

19 March 2012

Now that my office re-do is finally coming to its completion, I’ve started to redirect my focus on a different room in my home…the living room. 

Technically, my living room has been done for some time now.  BUT…after my trip to Morocco, I decided to do something different with the decor and go even more Moroccan in the living room. But along with that, comes inspiration from different walks in life that just gives you a new way to look at life differently.  These next two prints actually make me think about how I should approach the next adventure.  Here are some items I found today that just remind you to KISS YOUR LIFE.

You can find this print at Joss & Main for a limited time (regular price, $320. On sale for $199.95).

This print is also at Joss & Main for a limited time. (Original price, $430. On sale for $294.95.)

This stencil got such a huge response on Pinterest that I decided that this is how my new wall is going to look.  You can purchase the stencil on Etsy.com for $44.95.

See the little peak of seafoam blue in the corner?  I’m thinking about that sofa in seafoam.  OR if I can find a similar one in steel gray…that would be even better.  You can find this collection at Macy’s.

Even though I like that one from Macy’s (and it’s about $300 cheaper) I am more likely to pick this one up from Raymour & Flanigan, just because of the size and it looks more comfy.  The only thing I don’t like about this selection are the pillows…but it’s not like I won’t be able to do my own stencil pillows from the same stencil design for the walls.  I could do DIY pillows in white/silver…or add a dash of color…like here (see patterns from the wall):

This is starting to look more and more like a spring makeover, right?

As the seasons change, I can easily just change up the pillows and the artwork.  Who knows, I may just change the walls, throw on a white slipcover and some new pillows and be done with it.  Then again…I’m still shopping for a LINEN sofa under $1,000.  Right now…I don’t think they exist!

But as far as artwork (beyond my own) that I’m adding to my collection…these two pieces just made the cut…

You can find this print HERE.

You can find this print HERE.

What I like about these 2 prints?  They can go in any room in the apartment.

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DKNY Meets BaubleBar

15 March 2012

What happens when DKNY meets my favorite jewelry company?  A new line of couture pieces designed specifically for BaubleBar customers. 

On Wednesday night, DKNY and BaubleBar hosted a party down in SoHo to launch their new collection.

Here’s a glimpse into the bauble scene at the launch.

Pictured above Risa from LifeBooker and fashion writer Nicolette. 

Pictured above in the pink DKNY dress and necklace from the DKNY/Bauble Bar collection is BaubleBar co-founder, Amy.

And then I found this outfit in DKNY that I LOVED!

Thanks to the DKNY staff for all of their help.  Thanks also to the ladies that modeled a few of the pieces from the collection, as well as the ladies that posed for the camera. 

For those wanting to know HOW you can buy the new DKNY/BaubleBar collaboration, you can find the collection HERE.  Make sure to sign up for BaubleBar, if you haven’t yet.  It pays to be a loyal customer.  You can score free baubles that way!

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Top 5 New Loves

15 March 2012

Some things are just too good to wait until Friday to share.

1. Little Black Bag. Thanks to Fab Fatale for introducing me to this site.  For those who follow…you may have noticed I have a bit of a fetish with handbags.  I have a new handbag (or 2…sometimes 4) every single week.  LBB, on the other hand, would allow me to get up to 3 handbags (or a mix of home, jewelry, wallets, and cosmetics) for only $49.95/month (plus tax)…that’s about a $500 savings for me! 

Now, if you know your handbags…the names I see that are showing up…they range from the brands that are on the lower end, to the brands I actually purchase from Zappos (like Big Buddha, Kenneth Cole, Marc Jacobs, etc.). 

Here’s how it works…

1. Over 200+ options are available to you.  You choose 1 item. 

2. When you click checkout, 2 new items, along with your pick, appear that are selected for you by a stylist. You won’t know what the items are until you checkout.

3. After you checkout, you can then TRADE what’s in your bag for something else (if you want).

The trading is where it gets a little fun.  Say you don’t want that Steve Madden cuff that appeared from a stylist.  You can trade that cuff away for another bag in the same price range (or if you’re daring…for something worth more). 

People will make trade offers to you for the items in your cart.  If you like it, you can make the trade.  If you don’t, then you have up to 7 days to continue playing the trading game (or just have them ship what’s already in your bag to you).  After you like what you’re getting for $49.95 for that month, just click on SHIP MY BAG NOW.  They won’t ship or charge you until you click that button (or the 7 days of trading has expired).

I also like that if you play it smart, some people are so desperate for the item that you have, you could wind up with 2 items for the price of 1.  You could wind up with more than 3 items in your bag.

It’s a pretty good deal.  Right now, before the trades have gone down…my bag is worth $122.

Promo code that ends today (3/15/12) for 10% off: YAYA10

2. LIFEBOOKER.  I met someone from LifeBooker last night.  I had no idea what this site was until I looked it up today.  This site was so cool…I had to pass it along to my co-workers.

Lifebooker specializes in discounted spa, lifestyle, beauty, health and fitness.  Now, the one thing that really captured our eyes…the $99 Atlantic City limo.  Oh, we were passing that deal around.  The 6 weeks of language classes for $165 caught my eye, as well as a lot of spa packages.  The prices…well, to me, they were prices that were affordable and right up my alley.

Dance classes…stripper classes…cleanses…mani/pedis…oh, they have them all.

Sign up (free) and you may be on your way to some awesome discounts.

3. The Outnet Clearance Sale.  Net-a-Porter’s discount sister site is having a clearance sale on their clearance.  Nice, right? 

The only trick to accessing this sale…you need to be one of their registered customers.  Just sign up (FREE) and then you can access their sale.  It ends in 4 days.

Also…for those fantasy wardrobe followers…you should sign up for The Outnet now, because their $3 anniversary sale where you can score a Fendi bag, Valentino gown, or even a pair of Christian Louboutin for only $3…that’s coming up soon.  It’s just smarter to get the formalities out of the way now so you can score your invitation to shop the event.

All it costs you is just to sign up (free) and get on their email list (after all, how are you going to find out about the anniversary sale…OR shop this clearance event). 

I have to say…this clearance sale going on now…you can amass a pretty good collection of designer items for under $100.  Lots of stuff under $30.

4.  Lucky Chic.  I’m not going to go into a lot of detail about this site yet.  I have bigger plans for a writeup.  My friend just introduced me to Lucky Chic.  The most important feature of it?  Besides being a sample sale site for the health minded individuals, it’s also charity friendly.  For each purchase you make, they donate 1 meal to a hungry child. 

That actually makes purchasing from them more heart happy.  You’re buying something to help you keep your heart healthy…and your purchase will make you happy, because you’re also doing something good…you’re helping to feed a hungry child.

It’s a nice little heart happy balance.

5. World Market’s New Bali Collection.  I’ve always loved World Market.  I just wish they had one in my area!  They just released their new Bali catalog online…just in time for the warm weather! 

I’m a little partial to their Voyage les Indiennes catalog, because I don’t have a nice little backyard…YET. 

Both catalogs are filled with inspiring pieces at a very low price.  It’s a great way to update your home with exotic spring/summer looks. 

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Take a Chance

14 March 2012

I think today’s post is really for a friend.  We were talking today about taking chances in life.  We’re both alike…afraid to get stuck in a cage (aka a relationship). 

I have really been thinking about my biggest regret over this last week.  Twelve years ago, when I was around my friend’s age, I was working for one of the top law firms in the country.  It was so famous that when I told my grandfather where I worked, he exclaimed that he knew exactly who I was working for.  He was so proud that I got such a big start so quickly, right out of school, in one of the top firms in the country.  After all, this was the firm that breeded top notch political talent from Prime Ministers to White House staff appointments. 

One day back in 2000, I had just stepped onto an elevator when this guy comes running up and jumps on right as the doors were about to close.  It was just me and him in the elevator. 

I kept looking at him, thinking that this guy was the hottest guy I had ever seen in my life.  I didn’t know who he was or anything.  I just thought he was gorgeous. 

A month later, I discovered what his name was, what he did, better yet…that he was actually on the same floor as me. But at the time, I didn’t think he would ever be interested in me.  I didn’t think I was good enough for a guy like that.

He probably had some hot model girlfriend or something.  He would never be into me.

As the months went by, we’d run into each other randomly on the elevator or near the elevator banks.  I never thought I would have a chance with a guy as gorgeous as that.  Then I started to notice something…he had noticed me, as well.  He remarked one day that he loved my blue dress.  He was so nervous…he actually stuttered. 

When I went home and told my brother about it, he laughed hysterically, because I was wearing a muumuu dress.  I had to laugh too, because why would a guy LOVE that dress? 

Later, he ended up finding out where I worked on his floor and decided to start doing some work with my boss, just so he could start coming by my desk more.  He ended up having to work with me, because he was requesting projects with my boss all of the time. 

One of the other attorneys remarked to me one day that he had taken the metro with my crush and they had started talking about me.  Ends up the crush was mutual (and don’t think that attorney didn’t tell him…”You know she feels the same way.”)

All of this love in the air…and then we moved offices.  I went with my boss to build up the new office, while my crush stayed in the main office.

He would arrange meetings with clients in our Northern Virginia office, just so he could see me {my boss caught on from the start that was what was going on}.  He’d sign up for all of the events that he knew I was hosting. 

One day, at one of the events, we both stuck around for the after party.  I usually headed home before the party, but everyone told me to stick around that night. 

While we were on opposite sides of the room, with a party going on in between us, I looked over at him while he was talking to a new client.  He looked up at me at the same time and said to the client, “Hold on a minute.  I have to do something.  I’ll be right back.” 

He walked across the room, came right up to me and whispered in my ear, “Never in my life have I seen someone look at me the way you just looked at me.”  Then he kissed me.  In front of all of our clients and our office…he kissed me.

That was a move that ended up being talked about for some time, because he was then told that what he did wasn’t wise.  He got into so much trouble for it.  We were at a standstill.  The issue was that we both worked for the same company.  This was frowned upon.  No matter how many people knew that we were in love with each other…this office romance wasn’t kosher to them.

It got to be too much, that I decided this relationship was just too difficult.  I gave up.  I not only left the company, I left Washington, DC altogether. 

He came to the office on my last day there…actually, he spent the entire week there, because I was leaving.  He let me know that if I were to leave, it would mean that I would be leaving him, too.  He had thrown that card on the table…the “Don’t I Mean Something to You?”

At that time in my life, I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to be.  I just knew I didn’t want to stay in Washington anymore.  I needed to find myself and what I wanted to do in my life.  It was just the wrong time for me.  I needed to find me.  I wasn’t ready for marriage, even though he was (he was 11 years older than me).

I spent three years in Indiana before heading off to New York City. I ended up in NYC, because that’s where the universe ultimately pushed me.  I had shown up in NYC with a broken heart, thanks to the rockstar. 

It wasn’t too long after I arrived that I thought about my old crush.  I was surprised to get a letter not too long after that from one of my old bosses in Washington.  She sent me a card with a note saying, “I thought you might want to know where he is.”  In the note, she included my old crush’s business card. 

He had left the firm right after I did.  The reason?  Just in case I changed my mind, he had developed a way out.  He left the firm so that if I did come back, we wouldn’t be haunted by our old employer.  We would be able to actually make this work.

Thinking that it was a sign from the universe, I sent him a card to let him know that I was in New York.  A few weeks later he sent a letter back to me.  He told me how shocked he was to hear from me.  He was happy to get the letter, but was sad to report that he had waited 6 months for me to come back.  I never came back.  He thought that I was never going to come back, so he married someone else and their first child was on the way.

I was gone 3 years…so I guess I should have expected something like that, right?  He was ready to get married at the time.  I just wasn’t. 

I haven’t thought much about him since that letter, but last week, while I was writing and working through the book, I had this dream about my old crush.  I kept thinking…wow…was that ever a regret.  He was the first love that I ever ran away from.

My curiousity got the better of me, so I decided to look him up (maybe he was divorced or something and we could try again).  Imagine my surprise that this Harvard graduate who graduated with the highest honors was now working for one of the top banks in the world (in a very high position), was teaching at an Ivy League school, and was still jetsetting all over the world.

His kids?  Oh, he had two…and shocker…the kids are named after the Kennedys. 

He’s still friggin perfect today as he was back then.  In a sense, he’s still everything I turned out to be 12 years later.

So if I was going to be a bird trapped in a cage…this is the guy I would have loved to have been trapped in a cage with for the rest of my life.  Why?  Because he doesn’t like being trapped either.  He likes flapping his wings and soaring around the world.  He has recent pictures from his travels to South America, China, and Europe. 

He’s still baking and cooking up a storm (a man that bakes cupcakes…you meet one…don’t ever let him go, ladies).  He’s still climbing mountains and taking photos from the top of the summit.  He’s still biking around DC…and he still makes my heart flutter like he did the first time he jumped onto the same elevator as me all those years ago.

He’s that person you regret never marrying.  You regret it for the rest of your life, because you were too stupid to know that he was what you were looking for…and what you will always be looking for.  You just didn’t know you were looking for him until it’s way too late.

He’s the reason why I decided I wasn’t getting married to the nomad. 

The deciding factor all had to do with those pictures I saw of my old crush from all over the world.  How could I marry someone that I would have a hard time taking out of the friggin desert?  How could I marry someone who didn’t want to travel all over the world, like I did?  How could I marry someone that wasn’t more like myself and wanted to name their kids after the Kennedys?

His family is never in those photos taken from all over the world.  All of the pictures say that they were at home.  It makes me think…if I had chosen him, I would be standing next to him in those photos, and not at home with the kids in Washington.  Why?  Because, like him, I would always want to see the world.

That’s the kind of man that makes you stand still.  You realize that if you’re going to run, he’ll run beside you.  If you have to figure yourself out, he’ll wait (even if it is just 6 months).  If you’re going to be stuck in a cage, you want to be stuck in that cage with him.  And if someone’s going to bake, make sure he makes a damn good cupcake…and will go into the Hello Kitty store and tell you all about the stuff he almost bought for you.

That’s the man you marry, because if you run from him…you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, because he’ll only wait for so long.

So guess who got a chapter in the book?  Apparently, he did.  When he reads it…I really wonder what will happen then.  This law professor and top bank official with a passion for running and jetsetting around the world is going to do what?  Probably nothing. 

You just keep your fingers crossed that if this guy was meant to be, maybe your paths will cross once again and it will be the right time, because you’ll know…don’t run.  Just don’t run.  You’ve learned your lesson.  He’s the one you take a chance with.

OR

You’ll meet someone exactly like him that sends you postcards from all over the world when he’s away for a year.  Question is…are you still so stupid that you don’t notice it’s what you’ve been looking for all over again?  Do you feel de ja vu?  Because apparently in NYC…I may have just described someone here that’s just like my old crush in every single way.

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The One Love

12 March 2012

Have you ever seen Crazy, Stupid, Love?  I didn’t really know what the movie was about when I sat down to watch it over the weekend.  There were so many story lines that all ended up converging at the end to talk about one central story…the one true love…and whether it existed.

Sometimes you discover that love at a young age.  Sometimes you meet them in high school.  Sometimes you’re just going through life, thinking love was all a joke…and then it happens to you.  You meet that one true love.

The way Steve Carell described it at the end, actually had me in tears.  Sometimes you’ll find that one true love, marry them, have a family with them…and then you end up breaking up.  But if that’s your soulmate…you fight for them, because you’ve loved them every single day of your life since you found them.

I wanted to throw my pillow at the TV screen and ask, “Well, what happens when the soulmate commits suicide when you’re still just teenagers?  What do you do after that?” 

Yep, I was upset about that.  I mean…I was really upset.  I was huffing and puffing and cursing under my breath for the next couple of hours.  Then I saw my horoscope show up in my inbox a few hours later and it said not to take any relationship advice that day, because whoever was giving it to me that day was not right.  {Just love how that horoscope is always so dead on.}

It wasn’t until 24 hours later that I started to think about that 13 year old that was in love with his 17 year old babysitter.  He was convinced that she was his one true love…no matter how many times she resisted him because she was in love with someone else (she had a huge crush on his dad).

The youth thing really came into play on why she was not interested in this 13 year old boy.

I don’t know why I thought of that story the next day, but it reminded me of something I saw last week. 

I was standing in a room with a bunch of other people, when this guy (that I’ve had some problems with) walked into the next room.  He paused at the doorway to look at me through the mirror reflecting back into the room.  I looked up and saw him looking at me…and then I saw how I had shattered him.  I had really shattered his heart. 

I looked away, because I still feel like he had no right to feel that ‘in love’ with me to begin with.  Then again, I had to question what it is that makes people feel that strongly about someone else, especially when the other person just doesn’t feel the same way. 

What can easily be pushed aside as just a crush…to that person, it’s more than that…especially when they’re not getting over it.

Is it like that 13 year old boy that was convinced that one day that girl was going to love him?  Or is it like me (in present day) who looks at a similar situation I am in and sees that it has become dangerous? He’s crossed the line into a territory where the law could come down on him if he didn’t stop.

Part of me wants to believe that there’s only one true love in this lifetime.  The other part of me says it’s not true, because I’ve loved more than one person in this lifetime and I’ve connected with more than just one person in this lifetime.

Sure, I miss my soulmate like crazy, each and every single day.  I love him today like I loved him then…but there’s a finality in the moment.  He is not here to have or to hold.  Till death did we part. 

Kevin is actually the reason why I never married and never had children.  No one was ever good enough.  If I came close to that life, I backed away…NO…let me rephrase that…I RAN LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. 

If a guy looked at me like he knew I was the one…he got shutdown left and right.  Why?  He wasn’t Kevin. 

There’s probably some psychological mumbo jumbo in there somewhere where I run because I have a fear of falling in love and losing someone in the most horrific way (aka suicide) and then I’m left all alone again.  So I’d rather choose to be alone than to deal with someone forcing the universe’s hand and making me live my life out alone anyway.  With this option, I have control over the situation, unlike before. 

See…I can psychoanalyze this.  In truth, I have been psychoanalyzing my life in love since I started writing about Morocco and how I normally would rather choose to be alone than to be in love. 

When you’ve spent half of your life in love with someone you can’t hold or touch, especially when this person was your soulmate, you can’t bring yourself to love or fall in love with someone who isn’t that soulmate. 

I’ve spent most of this lifetime post-Kevin searching for that same connection I had with him.  I met people that I knew from past lifetimes…they had already married someone else and had a family.  There were others that you love…but it never works out no matter how many lifetimes you try this over and over again.  Then you meet someone new and you feel that same connection you once felt, and maybe it’s a little stronger…but then you feel that urge to run again…to be alone.

As the days start to get closer and closer to my departure date, I’m thinking about running again.  This guy would have to chase me down in order to stop me, instead of letting the universe do its will.  I’ve been strongly considering other territories like Prague or France…or maybe even the northernmost tip of Morocco where it’s only a 20 minute boat ride to Spain.

Part of  me wants to be in New York, the other part…far, far away.  So I resolved to finish the book, publish it, and then see where life floated me after that. 

I keep thinking about the true lesson I learned while in Morocco.  I dont’ think it was the fact that I fell for some random guy…I think it was that I had the capability of loving again.  What had been shattered inside had now been made whole.  If that means I’m getting married…well, I may change my mind come July, but part of me says that I’m okay with not ever getting married. 

Something inside me has changed over these past few months.  Driss had this feeling when we spoke about Hamid that I would end up changing my mind about marriage.  He told me that it was up to me to decide if I would marry the nomad or not.  If I chose not to get married, there were alternatives for me in his country…but to make my life easier, he suggested marriage to a Moroccan man would make my stay easier…especially if I decided to adopt.

There are so many choices being laid out before me, but I feel like I don’t want to be confined to just one home or one country.  Maybe I want to keep a home in NY and another in Morocco and another in France, Prague and Italy.  Maybe I want to cover international hockey for a little while.  Maybe I want to live in Paris for a few months or a few years.  Maybe I want to keep a place in NY for when I miss seeing the Devils or the Rangers play.  And maybe I want to keep a place in Prague, because I love the damn place and the people there. 

Maybe I feel confined in New York City right now and don’t want to feel this way anymore. 

And then out of all of this soul searching and questioning what in the hell I want to do in this next adventure…something inside of me remembers an old flame from 12 years ago.  I actually went and did something I never do…I Facebook stalked him today.  I was curious to know what happened to him. 

When I first moved to NYC, I sent him a card to let him know I was in NYC…just in case he wanted to start things up again.  He wrote me back and told me that he had decided that he couldn’t wait for me anymore (he thought I was never coming back) so he got married.  At the time, he was expecting his first child.  He now has two…a boy and a girl.

I looked through his photos…they’re from all over the world.  From South America to the Great Wall of China…he was still traveling all over the world, and keeping down the fort with a family back in Washington, DC.  I swear he’s still as perfect today as he was back then.  Why did I never marry this guy? 

He’s the first guy I ran away from.  He’s also my biggest regret, because he is actually the one I let get away.  After his letter to me telling me that he had married, I thought that maybe I had learned a lesson in all of this…don’t run again…not when it’s love…not when he’s absolutely perfect in every single way.  I mean…looking at his picture now, with his gray hair and all…he still makes my heart flutter like he did the first time he jumped onto the same elevator as me.

He wasn’t a soulmate…no, that was Kevin.  This guy was just Mr. Perfect for me.  What’s after that?  Mr. Right?  The ONE?  At this point, I don’t care.  I think I’ve made my decision…I’m not getting married.

I guess in July if anything were to change my mind, it’s like I said, he would have to chase me down and stop me from running…then he’ll understand the term…”Running to Stand Still.”

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Strolling Up & Down 5th Avenue

8 March 2012

We just received one of our most beautiful days in NYC this year, so I decided to finally leave the office during lunch for the first time this winter.  My destination: H&M on 5th Avenue to see the new Marni collection.

Well, I loved the bags in the windows…but I only saw that menswear was all they had left.  I debated just picking up something from the Marni’s menswear, but then thought I’d take my chances tomorrow at the 42nd Street store.  After all, I’m just looking for a Marni bag from H&M.  {Keeping my fingers crossed.}

I found a lot of international people coming in JUST for the Marni collection at H&M.  They were all styled to the nines.  It also looked like they had hit up the 42nd Street store when they came strolling in with gigantic shopping bags galore from H&M to shop what was left of the Marni collection. 

These internationals coming in…definite fashion industry types.  Fashion industry types dress very differently and have a very different air about them.  Magazine editors came flowing in, demanding to see what was left of the Marni collection and pitching a hissy fit that this was all that was left.  Yep…this is New York City.

Since there were no Marni bags (or shoes) to score, I headed on down 5th Avenue and just gazed in a few of the shop windows. 

I saw a woman carrying this Michael Michael Kors bag on the bus this morning and thought…I must own one of those.  BUT…I think I’m going to get this ostrich tote from Michael Michael Kors instead.

While I was walking by one side of the Michael Kors store, I kept thinking how odd it was that I picked up a very similar ostrich bag that they’re selling for $895 at Daffy’s for only $22.  The Urban Expressions bag almost looks like an Hermes Birkin in Ostrich.  The Daffy’s bag is also vegan, which I like even more about it.

Before I headed back to the office, I strolled past the Lacoste store and saw this gorgeous bag in their window.  I stopped, turned right around and went in and dropped my credit card at the register.  I ended up taking this baby home in turquoise marine blue (aka baby blue).  $110 isn’t bad for such a HUGE bag.  I like the zipper on top…makes it easier to use as a carry on.

I’m considering this my International Women’s Day treat to myself. 😉

My friend mentioned that I should start photographing my bag of the week and start sharing it with all of you…I’m thinking about it.  It’s in the works of what I’m doing for this site.

I just find it all interesting how things have changed since I decided to change this site as I prepare to leave hockey.  I’ve got a special party to attend (which you’ll find out about next week) and a trade show to attend this month.  It’s kind of amazing how as a writer so much changes rapidly as your content changes. I still write about hockey.  I still have my book that I’m working on.  Now, I’ve got lots of fashion and home stuff to talk about…and we’re working on sharing my lovely closet for all of you.  In other words, since the weather’s warming up, that means it’s time to declutter the closet.

I’ll be putting up a lot of items from my wardrobe up for sale…and all of you will get a chance to shop it.  Trust me, there will be plenty of designer duds to choose from.  Oh, and a Valentino cocktail dress that I purchased right off the Valentino runway…that’s up for grabs thanks to some model somewhere wanting to get rid of it.

My friend and I have been working on putting together a site where you can shop for your fantasy wardrobe…based on the deals we find.  I mean…this is NYC.  Not all of you have access to what we do just by walking out and about Manhattan.  So we’ll be procuring some vintage items (like the stuff we find in thrift shops that we LOVE) and some items that we find in crazy sales that you may have missed out on. 

Our goal is to make it as affordable as possible for all of you to build up your fantasy wardrobe.  After all, that is the trick to building that wardrobe…there’s the super deals…there’s the vintage…and there’s the splurges.  This is all coming up SOON!  Stay tuned.

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Morocco Comes to West Elm

2 March 2012

As I’ve been preparing for my trip back to Morocco, I have been wondering what I should bring back with me after I meet with business owners all across the country to bring a little bit of Morocco back to the US for all of you. 

Sure, there’s the argan oil, the rose factories, the textiles businesses, the pottery factories…what should I introduce to all of you?

Well, West Elm has started to bring back Marrakech to their shoppers.

When I got the catalog last week, I was so happy to see that West Elm had brought Morocco to its customers.  As I read through the new collection, I was disappointed.  Why?  They brought back Marrakech…and I don’t like Marrakech. 

I don’t like it at all.  I made sure to tell my tour company to make sure there is absolutely NO STOP in Marrakech.  That’s how much I don’t like it.

There are certain items that West Elm has made available that I plan on buying from them instead of lugging it back from Morocco…like their metal trays.  I love these large metal trays.  They’re elaborate and beautiful…and one of the things I loved about the breakfast and dinner service that I received there.

As for the rugs…they are all very beautiful.  BUT…if they had gone to Fes, they would have gotten a more interesting story behind certain Berber rugs.  I am partial to the Berber rugs because Berber women are the ones who make the rugs.  When they are sold, the sale of the rugs goes directly to the women who made them.  Most of these women live in a commune.  They are either widowers, divorcees, or victims of domestic abuse.  The sale of the rugs go to help these women. 

If the Marrakech Berber rugs help these same types of women…I’m all for it, but the patterns and style of rug…I’m not so sure.  Mine were designed by a different tribe.

The Berber rug I purchased was a small 2×3 rug, but it’s one of my most prized purchases from Fes, Morocco.  It’s so prized…my cat won’t leave it alone.  She has claimed it as hers.  She loves that rug so much and has since I unfolded it and put it on the floor.  The other rugs I’ve purchased from the States…oh, she doesn’t even bother with them.  The Berber rug…let’s just say she’s sold on moving to Morocco.

If the women benefit from the sale of these rugs…they really should advertise that, instead of the artisans thing.  I’m all for supporting the artisans, but there’s also another story involving women that live in communes.

As for the poufs…I like that they chose the fabric design of the poufs.  BUT…a visit to the tanneries in Fes would have netted them the more popular poufs that everyone wants these days and are lamenting that they have to pay an arm and a leg for it.  Another difference here is that their poufs come pre-stuffed.  I don’t recommend this at all for people investing in poufs.  Why?  Because, you should be able to use your poufs as extra storage…and that’s what they should be sold as…a form of extra storage.

I stuffed my seasonal wardrobe into the 2 poufs I bought.  It’s a great way to store clothes, blankets, etc. AND have extra seating to boot. 

It would actually save West Elm in shipping charges AND stuffing charges if they sold the outer part of the pouf only.

Part of me likes the new Moroccan look from West Elm, and the other part of me kind of makes me feel like the Moroccan men feel when Lonely Planet comes through to do their reviews.  The writers don’t take the time to really get to know their culture…to ask the right questions.  They walk up, write it up as if they were there, instead of diving into what the locals know in order to generate a true story of that place or region.  Then, when the Moroccan men read what Lonely Planet had to write about them…it’s this little one or two line thing that is so ‘on the surface’ of what the experience really was all about.  It’s like the person didn’t even care to show Morocco in the real light.

That’s kind of how I feel about West Elm’s collection.  They only curated items from Marrakech. 

If they had made it up to Fes, they would have found all new wonders that put Marrakech to shame.  If they had made it out to the Sahara Desert towns, they would have found fossilized furniture, trinkets for the home and more…all from the days when the Sahara Desert was part of the ocean.  These fossils are so amazing…mined from the earth with sea creatures bigger than any you have ever seen in your life…and they turn these fossils into household goods.

If they had visited the textile businesses, they could have watched them make silk blankets, curtains, and much more…all by hand.  We’re talking top notch and incredible beauty…at an amazing price in all of the colors of the rainbow (my blue silk blanket is so beautiful…it even has purple velvet sewn in).

If they had visited the potters…they could have found a whole world of pottery and tiles in an array of colors all made by hand…that would truly be the spirit of bringing back that part of Morocco that gives the beauty within their architecture so much notoriety.

There are even the wood carvers that create elaborate jewelry boxes.  There are the other metalsmiths that have silver teapots and Moroccan glasses for the mint tea that Arab countries are so famous for.  And what about the Moroccan lamps?  How does one forget to bring those back to America? 

If West Elm wants to go with me on my next trip in July, I’ll show them the Morocco that should be brought back to their customers.  Or…maybe I’ll just start my own store.

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The Recession Is a Bad Thing for Fashionistas

2 March 2012

I had heard that in order to combat the recession, many restaurants were scaling back on qualitative ingredients in order to keep their prices constant.  Maybe before they used half a tomato in their recipe…now, they use only 1/4 of the tomato, so they can get two dishes out of that half of a tomato. 

For some places, it worked out fine.  For other places like chain restaurants where customers expect their food to taste exactly the same every time they go…it didn’t work out so well. 

For many of us, tomatoes at $5+ meant that we just had to forego eating tomatoes that summer. 

I know that this site has recommended Ann Taylor Loft and the Gap in the past, but after my most recent visit to the stores, it looks like both stores have succumbed to the recession and has decided to put out sub-par merchandise and fabrics that I would not recommend for any fashionista. 

In Loft, I bought 7 different things.  I only kept 2 items.  The other 5 are being returned today.  I tried the items on when I got home.  I thought I could live with the fabrics not being 100% as qualitative as it usually is…until I put them on and saw that the cuts on every shirt were completely wrong.  Did they make the size large for a petite little Asian woman from the factory?  How did I guess right?  It was made in China. 

The bone structure of a Chinese woman is very different than an American woman.  The cut is all wrong (especially in the shoulders).

Going into the Gap afterwards, I wasn’t pleased with what I found.  I’m the type of person that walks through and touches the fabric.  The only items that got a nod from me were their PURE collection, and some of their Body shirts that were on the clearance racks. 

Their t-shirts and tanks…they’re flimsy.  The guise is that they’re meant to withstand the summer months…that’s why their lightweight, but I’ll take a qualitative shirt over a flimsy shirt any day.  Some of us don’t have the most amazing abs in the world to wear those flimsy shirts.  We need something with more structure that doesn’t roll up when you wear it (the flimsy shirts roll up…most annoying thing in the world), and will cover our muffin tops more appropriately. 

While I continued my search for the “Favorite” tee, I finally found what I was looking for.  I was getting ready to pick up my new white tee, when I touched the fabric and stopped.  I was horrified.  I have plenty of Gap tees (wearing one from 5 years ago as I write this), and they are of a much higher quality than the shirt I had in my hands.

Each time I looked at it, I could see the lines of the threading separate in the fabric itself.  It’s not supposed to ever look like that.

I walked out of the Gap with only a pair of pants from Body, wondering if my love for couture fashion has finally made me turn up my nose at these stores that I loved so much.  I can tell you that is not the case.

Why?  Because I’m wearing Gap clothes today and a Ports 1961 cardigan.  The Gap clothes I’m wearing today…the regular tank and tee are from over the last five years.  I think I bought the tank 3 years ago.  They’re not the same grade of fabric I touched in Gap last night.  They are actually of a higher grade.  The tee was only $8.  The tank was only $2.50.  I got them both on the clearance rack.  So why are these items more qualitative than what is in their store now?

Both stores have succumbed to what restaurants were forced to do…and because they fall into the chain category…this recession fix doesn’t work.

I also want to point out something else…the price.  What they call a sale, isn’t like the sales of old.  The prices they want for each piece are not directly correlated to the grade in fabric.  The prices may still be the same, but the grade in fabric is not conducive to a fashionista paying that same amount for a crappy item.

Why pay that when she can get a designer brand for the same price at a sale somewhere else?  Those designers are not scrimping on the grade of their work…unless they are doing a collaboration with Target to make their pieces more affordable.  Only when they do that do they have an excuse.  Gap and Loft do not. 

It’s the fact that they made their reputation known amongst fashionistas that they were the GO TO place to get all of the basics that they needed that makes this move a NO NO.  To go down in quality, while major couture brands are having to send their stuff to sample sale sites and discount retailers…why pay for lower quality when we can get the top notch quality with a designer name on sale for the same price? 

As of now, based on what I saw last night, Gap and Loft have now degraded themselves down to Forever 21 and H&M in my book.  In other words…I won’t shop there anymore because they do not sell qualitative items.  They are selling cheap crap. 

As for designer winners, I would like to congratulate Rebecca Minkoff for doing something during the recession that not only saved her label, but took it to new heights.  Her company is still in its infancy.  She used to sell items that left her name brand out of reach for so many fashionistas.  Now, thanks to the MAB and MAC, she’s brought her price down under $500 so that fashionistas can finally afford her brand.

Her Mini MACs (morning after clutch) retail at $195.  Get it on sale…you’ll see the price as low as $123.  I picked up her MAB (morning after bag) for $140 at Gilt.com.  It is my most prized possession right now.

If she hadn’t brought the price of her label down to a more affordable price during the recession…she would not have survived and succeeded like she has.  Check out this Wall Street Journal article on How She Built her company.  It’s a lesson for all designers.

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Fantasy Wardrobe: The Basics

1 March 2012
From RHEStyle.com

Every Fantasy Wardrobe needs to start from a beginning.  Once you’ve understood the basic financial platform that all smart fashionistas need to know before they embark on building their wardrobe (i.e. don’t go into debt for fashion), you need to start with what every fashionista needs to have in her wardrobe.

Here are the basics…

The Gap is the best place to build your t-shirt collection

1.  Tanks & T-shirts.  This is a must have item.  I’m not talking about the t-shirts/tanks with a rock band on it or some sort of inspirational motto of the moment…I’m talking about fitted tanks and t-shirts.  Gap calls these kinds of tanks/tees their “Favorite” line.  You can get them in a variety of colors (even stripes and polka dots), shapes and sizes.  I recommend the Gap Favorite tees/tanks because this is the only brand that has had top notch performance year in and year out. 

I still have tanks/tees from 7 years ago and they are all still in excellent form.  The color hasnt’ faded…the material isn’t fading…the stitching is still in tact.  This is what we call a qualitative brand.  It’s worth every single penny…luckily, most of these go on sale every season for under $10 (I love when I can get them for $3 each).

I recommend Gap over Old Navy or Banana Republic because they are not qualitative enough and none of these tshirts have survived the test of time…maybe 1-2 years…3 years TOPS.  Gap…they’re still going and going…like the Energizer bunny.

The white tank can be dressed up to look ultra fab

2.  The WHITE Tank/T-shirt.  Every spring/summer wardrobe, no matter if you bought it last year, you’ll have to buy it again every year.  The WHITE tank/tee is one of the most important pieces in your spring/summer arsenal.  Some fashionistas buy them from Hanes and get the 3 pack because they’re going to end up throwing them away at the end of the season.  Why?  You can’t get rid of the sweat stains, dears.  There’s no way around it.

I usually buy 2 white tanks and 2 white tees at the start of every spring/summer.  It’s usually enough to get me through the season.

3. The BLACK Tank/T-shirt.  Every woman needs a tank, short sleeved tee and a long sleeved black tee.  It comes handy with just about every single thing you own.

4.  Jeans.  Every woman needs a good pair of jeans that makes her feel like a million bucks.  You know these jeans…the ones you can probably live in.  Invest in a good pair of jeans that make you feel and look amazing.

5.  The sweater/cardigan.  Every woman needs basic sweaters and cardigans in crewneck or v-shaped in neutral colors.  In the winter/fall, brown, black, taupe and gray are essentials.  In the spring/summer, I always find that a must have comes in white (see 2 on reason why you may have to buy a new white cardi every spring/summer). 

6. LBD.  The Little Black Dress.  This little number may take years for you to find.  Or if you are lucky, you’ll find one right off the bat and it will get you through the rest of your lifetime.  The little black dress is that go to dress any time you have a function that requires a dress that can perform many duties from a job interview to a business meeting to drinks with friends and colleagues to a dinner date to meeting the parents to museum and theatre events.  This is the do-all dress that you can basically add an accessory to give it a new look and no one would know it’s the same dress.

This dress is your godsend for just about every single event that could come up…and you have nothing to wear…and then you remember your little black dress and all is saved!

7.  Black pants.  There is no such thing as having too many pairs of black pants.  They go with everything!

8. The Wrap.  Thanks to Julia Roberts for making the pashmina stole the most important part of every woman’s wardrobe.  In NYC, you can buy pashmina scarves for as little as $5 in any color you desire.  These are great any time of the year to wear as a scarf or as a wrap. 

9.  Ballet flats.  Every woman has to own a pair of ballet flats.  It’s our secret weapon when our feet decide that they are no longer happy in our heels.  Carrying around a pair of ballet flats in your bag is a must.  It will save you when you find you have to walk 10 blocks home…in a torrential downpour.

10. Rain shoes.  Speaking of torrential downpours…every woman should own a pair of rain shoes.  Notice I didn’t say BOOTS.  Not all women can wear rain boots because their calves are too big (I’m one of those women).  In my haste to find a solution, I discovered rain ballet flats.  Hunter and Sperry Top Sider have sold them in the past.  Sperry also sells ankle boots.

I highly recommend buying a pair of rain shoes because if you don’t…you could end up tossing many pairs of shoes because they were ruined in the rain.

11.  Black heels.  Every woman should own one pair of black heels that she can basically live in.  I once wore mine all over NYC until I had no choice but to toss them because I had run them ragged (and yes, I would run in these shoes when it was demanded of me).  Find a pair that are basic and comfortable enough to walk in, run in, basically…LIVE IN.

12. A Black Winter Coat.  Every woman should have a black winter coat.  I would usually put ‘wool’ down, but not everybody can wear wool.  Usually wool and cashmere are the warmest coats.  I only bring out the down coat when it’s very cold out.  But for fashionistas, you need a black winter coat because it’s dressier when you have to go out at night, it’s perfect for business attire, and looks great with just about everything.

13.  A trench.  You can have fun with this one.  While most say to get either a khaki or a black trench, I threw that rule out the window years ago.  While I have both, I tend to wear a navy blue one, as well as colorful ones with different patterns. 

14. A Navy and Black Pantsuit.  It’s always wise to have a navy and a black pantsuit.  Job seekers should wear navy to interviews.  For all other times, a black suit will suffice.  But also buy a navy skirt to go with the navy pantsuit.  Many potential employers would rather see the navy skirt suit.

15. Mettalic flats.  I’m obsessed with gold glitter ballet flats…but what’s ‘in’ for the spring/summer?  SILVER.  This is a great alternative to black and brown shoes.  They go with just about everything. You can wear them with jeans, a suit, business attire, or even a cocktail dress. 

16. One formal gown.  Depending on where you live, I only recommend this to people that live in the big city.  Most weddings require a formal gown (especially in NYC).  Even if you head to the ballet or opera, or a museum exhibit opening…you need a gown.  When I lived in DC, I owned 10 different gowns, because I went to a lot of socialite outings.  Most of my dresses were black, but I would have an occasional dark purple, a spring dress, and one that just screamed…HELLOOO, NURSE! 

17. THE Handbag.  Find yourself one big ‘ole tote that matches your wardrobe that you can put everything you can possibly think of (including those ballet flats) into that bag…and buy it.  I’ve found great totes for around $20 at various retailers (like Daffy’s and Filene’s Basement) that lasted me…well…we’re going on a very long time now.  Find one that is constructed very well (it doesn’t have to be leather), and is big enough (but not too heavy) to carry what you need.

****

Try starting from here.  You’ll find that these items are all interchangeable.  Try to stay away from prints when it comes to the basics.  Try to build your wardrobe on solid colors that will be interchangeable with just about everything you own.  Sure, you can get a pink tee or tank, pair it with your black (or taupe or white) cardi and a pair of black trousers and silver metallic flats to the office. 

The purpose of the basics…it’s your foundation and the backbone of your closet.  What you incorporate into your wardrobe afterwards…those basics will only complement those items.

Remember, the most important rule in building your basics…they have to be qualitative clothes…not cheapo stuff from H&M or Forever 21.  Those items were not built to last. 

Your basics are meant to stand the test of time where you rarely if ever need to replace them (except for those white tees/tanks).

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Fantasy Wardrobe: Where to Begin

28 February 2012

Since a lot of publications and blogs have been talking about decluttering, I thought I’d add my two cents in as far as how it relates to building your Fantasy Wardrobe.

The Fab Chick did a great post on how she’s starting off with decluttering her wardrobe.  It’s a great place to start.  Even Gayle King got her closet made over with Adam Glassman (who, by the way, is one of my favorite guys around…he helped me figure out what to pack on my last big trip all over Europe and Morocco…his suggestion…LAYERS).

We all have to begin somewhere…here’s how I organize my fantasy wardrobe.

1.  BY COLOR.  Ever since I was a teenager and started falling in love with fashion in a remote town in the suburb of a cornfield, which is another suburb of a cornfield in redneck Indiana, I had to organize my wardrobe by color.  It was the easiest way to decipher what was in my closet, as well as how to put together a matching outfit when you have less than five minutes to get dressed. 

To this day, that is still my go to method.  My closet is completely organized by color from black on one end of the spectrum, to the colors in between, to gray on the other end.  This pattern of colors forces me to go for the colors first, and reach for the basic colors last.

One tip I loved from Gayle King’s makeover that I plan on doing next is organizing the handbags and shoes in the same manner…but I’ll need a bigger closet to make that happen.  Right now, I have a very tiny closet (tiniest one I’ve ever had in my life), but it works for me.

2.  ROTATE & DE-CLUTTER.  Every season, I rotate my wardrobe.  In the first signs of spring, I pull out my spring/summer wardrobe and begin incorporating some pieces that would go well with the changing of seasons.  As I go through the fall/winter wardrobe, I start to pack away the pieces that will definitely not go into the spring months…like pumpkin orange scarves.

This is also a good time to go through my closet and figure out what I like and what I don’t like, what I can donate and what will stay.  Usually those fad pieces that will not see next winter heads to the donation pile.  Pieces that I haven’t worn at all in the last two winters…they go.  Why?  Because I have this rule…if I kept it around thinking I would wear it the next year (because I really liked it) and then I never wore it…chances that I will wear it in the third year is slim…it gets donated.

There are certain couture pieces that I will wear only one time a year.  Why?  Because people notice it when you wear it…I mean…really notice it.  I won’t wear it twice in one year.  I’ll save it for the following year.

Here’s a simple guide I go by every season when I rotate my closet:

WHAT TO TOSS

1. When was the last time you wore it?  Was it 2 years ago?  If so, TOSS.

2. Are there any stains, tears, pilling, etc.?  If so, if the items are not repairable either with a good wash, sewing, or dry clean…donate it.  As far as your delicates drawer…if they’re stained, torn, etc., toss them in the trash. 

3. Do you love it?  If you don’t love it, throw it in the donation pile.

4. Are you going to wear it again?  If the answer is YES, keep it.  If the answer is maybe…put to the side and revisit after you are done de-cluttering.  If the answer is no…donate it.

5.  How do you look in it?  This is the most important question of all.  Only keep items that you look good in.  If you don’t look good in it…donate it.  No sense in keeping something around that you can’t positively feel amazing in. 

6. Donate the sizes that don’t fit you.  When I first started losing weight, I bought a bunch of clothes in three varying sizes.  When my body settled into its current size, it was a good three years since I had been in that bigger size.  It took a while to admit it, but after looking in the mirror, realizing I was swimming in my pants, I decided to finally donate the bigger sizes.  I wasn’t going back to that size again.  For the sizes that were too small…I keep a few items around like Christian Dior suits because they are iconic (and Dior).  I keep them around for a different reason…it’s because I have a love for vintage couture fashion…even if I’m never going to wear it.  For the BCBG stuff that I loved and just never was able to get into after three years…I donated it with the tags still on them.  After all, who’s to say I’m even going to like it when I reach that size?

7. Don’t forget the accessories.  Sometimes you buy something that you just loved…and then a month or so later you realized you didn’t love it as much as before…donate it.  That includes jewelry, purses, shoes, etc.  If you can’t see yourself passing it on to your future children and grandchildren…let it go if you don’t love it anymore.

8. If you want to go further…toss anything that’s not designer.  I don’t recommend this for anyone just starting out.  I only recommend this for the seasoned veterans with a bustling closet filled already with designer duds.  Only keep the designers you love in your closet…toss out all of the other stuff that isn’t designer.  Note: Every person has their own favorite designer or retailer according to what they can afford.  When I was making crap for pay working for the State, Target was my favorite name.  When I moved to NYC and made more money, Gap and Banana Republic became my new wardrobe.  When I headed into my next job, I moved up to Ann Taylor, LOFT, and then Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, and the couture designers.  It’s a slow and steady climb (trust me, it took me a decade), but I still hold onto a lot of those designers (including Target) from my climb up the fashion wardrobe ladder.  Actually, I still shop at most of these places, because I remember a time when I couldn’t afford those places (including Target).  It just makes me feel good when I shop in those stores knowing that I can afford them now, so they will always hold a special placeholder in my closet.

WHAT TO KEEP

1. Classics.  Always keep your classic attire…like your work clothes…trousers, cardigans, basic sweaters, tees, tanks, dress shirts, skirts, your little black dress…  These items are the most essential part of your closet.  They are the backbone.  Keep what is still in good condition…toss what has seen its end of days.

2. What you feel beautiful in.  Always keep what you feel confident in when you wear it.  Fashion isn’t just about the clothes, it’s about the woman wearing the clothes.  What you wear defines the person inside of you.  Always keep the stuff around that makes you feel absolutely good about yourself.

3. Keep the stuff that doesn’t hurt you.  Those shoes that felt just right when you first bought them, only to hurt you so badly the day you actually wore them…if you never got around to breaking them in properly and they’ve been there for a while…donate them.  This goes the same for clothing.  If something about it jabs at you or is too tight in certain places (but if you just cover it up…), it violates the rule above.  Move it on out.  Only keep the clothing that you feel comfortable in.

4. Layering pieces.  One of the tricks to traveling all over the world like I do…LAYERING (see Adam Glassman’s advice to me above).  I have an arsenal of tank tops.  I mean, it’s every color of the friggin rainbow (stripes included)…all from the Gap.  What’s great about tanks is that no matter what stain I get on them, I still keep them because I wear tanks every single day.  Whether it’s to sleep at night, or under a sweater, dress, or see through top…tank tops are the best thing to happen to my wardrobe.  For some people it could be regular t-shirts.  I wear tanks under basically everything.  I can throw two tanks on, a sweater, and a cardigan while in the Swiss mountains and then take it down to just a tank and a lightweight top in the Sahara Desert the next week.  Layering pieces are the most essential part of your closet.  Build on them. 

5. The big designer names.  We all have that one love affair with a designer name.  Mine is Valentino Garavani.  I have started amassing my own Valentino collection over the past few years (at a very slow pace).  I wear his stuff maybe once a year because people always notice when I wear Valentino.  Why?  Because he makes me feel daring inside…daring enough to wear a $4,000+ dress in public.  I wear his shoes…everyone notices.  I wear his sunglasses, people exclaim “WOW.”  Me, throw out anything with Valentino on it?  You have got to be kidding me.  He’s a keeper.

6.  The stuff you wear all of the time.  You know what these items are.  The stuff you wear all of the time are a given that they are keepers.  Why?  Because you’re using them.  The point in de-cluttering is to get rid of the stuff you are not using. 

OTHER

1.  Use this time to decipher what needs to be repaired, dry cleaned, etc.  Before packing away one season, always make sure to take your coats in for dry cleaning (your Uggs, too).  Drop the winter boots off to be re-soled and shined.  If anything needs mending, drop them off to your dry cleaner for mending (or do it yourself).  Wash those delicates you’ve been putting off hand washing.  At the end of summer, make sure your whites are cleaned, as well as all of your dry clean only dresses.

2. After going through your wardrobe, make a list of things that you will need to get going into the next season, especially if you need more classics or pants (or underwear).

3. Keep a list of items you are donating.  This comes in handy during tax time.  The tax man wants to know how many shirts, pants, etc. you donated.  Keep a list handy.  Make sure to keep note of the major designer donations separate from the regular stuff.  Their worth is a little more on the donation line.

4.  DONATE IT. If you can’t drop it off, call one of the charities to come and pick it up from you.  PickUpPlease.com is one of my favorites that will come by and pick up donations.

5. SELL IT.  If you don’t want to donate a major designer…try your hand at Ebay, CraigsList or even Bonanza.  I know that when I got rid of a lot of suits in the bigger size, I took a picture of them, threw them all in a bag and sold two garbage bags worth of business clothes for $50 on Craigslist.  When the woman met me to make the exchange…she asked me if I was sure I wanted $50 for it all.  She said there was so much nice stuff in there (all designer).  Hey, in this economy, if $50 worth of business clothes will help a woman going back to work…you’re doing something good.

6. Re-evaluate your delicates drawer.  Each rotation also means a visit to my delicates drawers to see what fits, what doesn’t fit, and what needs to be tossed.  Bras usually hit my list of what I need to buy every season because not all bras (even if you buy from the same brand) will fit the same.  Because the distribution of fat seems to move around a lot on my body, there are days that one size fits right, a month later, I need to go down a size, then the next month I have to go up a size.  It doesn’t make sense…but that also means that I have to re-evaluate what I have now.  Sometimes I’ll find a hole in the lace (needs to be tossed), or when I wore the bra it offered no support, or the wire poked into my sides…these are all things you have to re-visit and decide what you need to get rid of, and what you need to update.  That way you can keep a list of what bras (and other delicates) you need to purchase.

7. Shapewear.  All shapewear has an expiration date.  You’ll have to Google this information based on what you own.  A lot of brands will tell you that you can get X amount of wear and X amount of washings out of the garment before it will be of no use to you.  Look up the info and keep track of how many times you’ve worn the shapewear.  Just because it’s loosening up, doesn’t mean you’ve lost weight.  It just means that the effectiveness of the shapewear no longer exists.  You’ll be surprised to find out that for some major (and expensive) brands, you can only get 9 wears out of it before it’s of no use to you.

3. Where to stuff ’em.  The question when I rotate my wardrobe is: where do I stuff my wardrobe when I rotate it?  Well, while I was in Morocco, I bought two leather poufs (unstuffed).  I thought it would just be easier to take back home.  My driver told me that it was a wise buy, because I could stuff old clothes and blankets into it.  I thought…what a novel idea!  I could stuff my wardrobe in there when I rotated it.  Looking at the poufs, I didn’t think it would be possible to put my entire summer wardrobe into it.  Oh…you better believe I was able to fit my entire summer wardrobe into it! 

You can buy unstuffed Moroccan poufs HERE.  It’s a great way to store your seasonal wardrobe AND have extra seating in your home. 

4. A Pretty Closet is a Happy Fashionista.  What makes a pretty closet besides pretty clothes?  An organized closet.  Beyond just color coordinating my wardrobe, I have a separate wardrobe just for my handbangs.  I have them all hanging up alongside my coats and my new clothes waiting to be worn for the first time.  I’m getting ready to develop a new organized system based on pretty storage boxes. 

Since I’ve started collecting Kate Spade, Rebecca Minkoff, Fendi, Carlos Falchi, Louis Vuitton bags and clutches, I decided to buy large storage boxes to separate my bags for when I’m not using them based on either the designer or the style (i.e. clutches all go in one box).  This has helped to pretty up my purse closet.  As far as shoes…I keep them in the box, only keeping flats in reach (since I wear them the most). 

Always make sure that your closet is organized from top to bottom.  It will make it easier to find what you’re looking for.  Nobody likes to look at clutter, so keep everything clean and easy for you to use and pull from the closet without stressing about ironing the wrinkles out of a pair of pants (trust me, that stresses me out beyond belief when I know that I don’t have pants in my closet that are ready to wear).

5. Organize your drawers.  Would you believe that my underwear is completely organized according to sexy, girl shorts, and the not so sexy?  It makes it easier for me to pull my underwear out in the morning based on what clothes I’m wearing and what activitiy will be happening that day.  My socks are also color coordinated, bras are lined up accordingly, tank tops and tees are folded away nicely, cardigans are separated according to color, sweaters neatly folded away…you get my point.  Every time I do laundry, if I notice the drawer is getting cluttered up, I’ll take time to put it back the way it’s supposed to be when I put clean items back in.  It’s a sort of re-check to make sure it remains clutter free. 

6.  Do a little bit at a time.  No system is absolute or perfect.  After all, it’s taken me several years to figure out how I like my wardrobe to be kept.  There are days I’m too tired to put stuff away, so I’ll throw it on a chair.  Each week, I make time to put things away and put them back in its place.  I do this in all of my rooms, especially when I was re-decorating my office.  I swore to myself that I needed to do a little bit in my office each and every day (trust me…it was my major dump all room).  It took some time, but now I can see the floor.  Now, there’s nothing cluttering up the floor. 

Ever since I promised to do a little bit every single day, it’s now gone into every single room in the apartment.  One minute, I’ll do work in the office.  The next, I’ll clear up the coffee table.  Next, I’m putting things up on hangers and putting them away where they belong.  I’ll pick up a rag and spray bottle and start dusting.  It takes a little bit at a time.  My old roommate used to say that you should commit 20 minutes a day to cleaning.  For me, I just do a little bit here, sit down and rest (watch TV or read), then get back up and do a little bit more, go back and rest…you get the idea. This new system works for me.  After all, it’s making me get organized.

The good thing about the rest in between…it makes me think about how I can better organize myself.  Sometimes being in a different room, I’ll see something (or see a magazine article) that will help me better organize myself in a different room. 

7.  The Storage Container.  When I was in Target last time, I just happened to wander over into the $1 pit.  Oh, the storage items I found!  Since it’s coming in on easter time, I was able to find so many storage containers and trays from $1-$2.50.  I stocked up.  I didn’t know how many I would need or what I would need them for, but I stocked up.

I found a baby blue wooden tray for $2.50…that’s now what I’m using to organize all of my bottles in the bathroom.  Now, everything looks neat and it’s not falling all over the place (like they were in the last container).

I found a bunch of mini storage baskets for $1 in so many different pastel patterns…they’re now organizing the little trinkets of stuff I had in the bathroom, and it’s organized all of my travel toiletries into separate bins according to what they are (mini-makeup items, mini hand lotions, soaps, etc.). 

I found some bigger storage baskets for $2.50 that now hold all of the random paper I have to go through, my travel guides and maps, and all of the other miscellaneous stuff that just doesn’t look pretty out. 

Finding storage containers at a good price has been a godsend in my home.  I didn’t realize how great having a place to store things actually make you feel better about all of the ‘would be’ clutter around you.  Without those storage containers…it is what it is…clutter.  With the storage containers…it’s organized and prettied up. 

Target and The Container Store are good places to start in finding containers.  Also, another good place is Home Goods. 

My next container buy is acutally a wicker storage bench I found at Target for $69.99.  It’ll be a nice addition to my bedroom which can double as a little seating area, but also as a place to dump my flats and tennis shoes when I come home (hidden and out of the way).  Right now, they’re all around my elliptical trainer, embarrassing the hell out of me.

I recommend buying containers that match your room’s decor and will make you smile because it’s so pretty.

Purging: “Remember that 80 percent of the time, we wear only 20 percent of our clothes,” says McKenry. So go through your wardrobe and jettison anything that’s one of the four S’s: stretched, small, smelly (ew!), or stained (sure, you could clean the stained and smelly pieces, but the idea is to let things go). Another great tip: Turn all your hangers in one direction, and for the next six months, flip the hanger (and leave it flipped) when you wear something. Donate the untouched clothes.

Prevention: “The rule of thumb,” says Izsak, “is that when something new comes in, at least one thing—preferably two—must go. And be realistic. If you’re a size 10, hold on to the 8s but not the 6s.”  – from O Magazine

Also…great reading material: How to De-Clutter Your Home FOR GOOD.

Readers, just remember, the key to a great fantasy wardrobe is one where you know exactly what is in your closet.  A true fantasy wardrobe has your basics, but it also is meant to be built upon over the years.  I still have the same Calvin Klein pants I bought 7 years ago.  I still wear it 3-4 times a month.  That’s the key…it’s not buying a whole new wardrobe every single season…it’s about buying what you need (the basics/classics) and building around it.

The basics/classics NEVER go out of style.  They are the most important part of your wardrobe.  They’re also the 20% of your wardrobe you wear often.  BUT the key to building your wardrobe is to have one that you are proud of from the start.  You need to begin at the start by going through your wardrobe and re-organizing everything, and getting rid of the things that you no longer will want to take with you as you build your fantasy wardrobe.  Once you get past the first round, you’ll be ready to head into the next step…building the fantasy wardrobe.

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Fantasy Wardrobe Readers: SAMPLE SALE ALERT!

27 February 2012

Ladies (& Gents)…

Get your debit cards out and ready…thanks to SHEFinds for this sample sale alert.  Yoox.com is having a MASSIVE sale.  I just picked up a bunch of Ports 1961, Badgley Mischka, Halston Heritage, Rachel Roy, Isaac Mizrahi AND Valentino for next to nothing! 

3.1 Phillip Lim...only $29 at Yoox.com

There are so many big designer names, so many sizes, and so much stuff for under $100.  Most of the Ports 1961 I picked up came up at $20 per item.  Even 3.1 Phillip Lim sunglasses were only $29.

Ladies, this is the designer sale you’ve been dreaming of…and you don’t have to fight tooth and nail over it in some random place in NYC.  You just have to click, click, click and checkout.

{Click on the Yoox.com link above, then the SALE button on the site.  You’ll see the big winter clearance sale and the SAMPLE SALE button.  Click on either, search according to your size, designer, etc.  You’ll find some pretty amazing deals.}

Have fun shopping!

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Friday’s Top 5 Loves

24 February 2012

It’s been a few months since I’ve done my top 5 loves (honestly, I keep forgetting).  So let’s kick this one off…

1.  Prada’s new shoe line.  This may be Man Repeller worthy, but damn if I’m not in love with this new shoe line from Prada.  It’s like Ghostrider meets Hot Wheels meets Grease.

I can so see myself wearing these while singing, “You’re the one that I want…ooh..ooh…ooh, honey…” in true Grease fashion.  So hot.  So sexy….and they come with the hefty pricetag of $1100. 

Now, I’ve got “Ghostrider…motorcycle…HEROoooo,” in my head.  I could so see myself in a leather jacket, with these heels on a Harley.  Yeah…it’s sexy like that. 😉

2. Gift With Purchase.  I went a little bit crazy at Saks Fifth Avenue today.  Sure, I finally bought that $500 Josie Natori dress I’ve been wanting for the last 2 winters (discounted to $149…I justified it by saying that I was going to wear it in Morocco this summer).  But the main thing I went shopping for? Yves Saint Laurent cosmetics.

The only reason why?  It comes in a YSL cosmetic case that can double as a clutch.  Sure, there are more samples and stuff in it, but I only bought all of those YSL cosmetics for that case.  I’ve been wanting a YSL bag for some time.  I justified this one with $150 worth of YSL cosmetics because it was far cheaper to buy the cosmetics and get the gift with purchase than to buy an actual YSL clutch.

Not only did I pick up this YSL case, but Saks is also having their Beauty Buy event that features a gift bag with samples.  As in…you buy $125 worth of beauty, you get a purse with goodies inside of it.  The bags they give out are always really nice.  I’m still using the ones I got two years ago.  But the samples in these bags…oh, these are top notch.  That’s why I always wear expensive perfume…they put them in these bags.  I’ve got so many tiny samples that are absolutely perfect to travel with.  I mean really…they supply all of my Chanel, Chloe, Jimmy Choo, Armani, etc. perfume samples that I literally never have to buy them.

Oh, and I actually got $250 worth of beauty stuff because I couldn’t decide which bag I wanted, so I got both bags (plus, I needed some Fekkai shampoo/conditioner). 

Neiman Marcus is also having their gift with purchase too.  You don’t have to spend $125…just $100 (but I love the purses they’re giving away…I almost bought $300 more worth of beauty stuff…then realized what was going on and subsequently hid my debit card).

{Ok…confession…I spent an extra $100 at Birchbox on beauty stuff, too…that’s why the cards all went into hiding.} 

3. I’ll admit it…I am now officially a bona fide Daffy’s addict.  After my post yesterday about Daffy’s, I actually went back to the store to hit up more of their take an extra 50% off clearance.  I came home with a lot of stuff.  I do mean A LOT. 

A Michael Michael Kors coat (for $20), several sweaters, dresses, another bag, and something to add to the Italy/Africa trip to wear…and I swear I still didn’t faint at the price they told me after they quoted the damage.  Actually, there was no damage. 

I can’t even describe how much I am addicted to this store right now. 

Mind you, Daffy’s found my post from yesterday and guess who’s trending on Daffy’s website?  A big Helllloooo Michelle Kenneth!  😉 {No, really…that’s what the site says.} They were even kind enough to link up to the post from this site. 

I’ll also let you in on a little secret…I have an event I’m attending next week (I’m not saying where I’m going…it’s a surprise, because I don’t want fans to start talking about it before I even get there).  The dress I’m wearing to this event…that’s the dress featured on Daffy’s website today, as well as on their Facebook.  It’s the Magaschoni Collection dress I wrote about yesterday that I picked up for $40 (original retail was $406).

Thanks to Daffy’s, they’re the ones styling me for this big event.  Nothing but mad love for ya, Daffy’s!

4. Fashionista Next Door.  Oh, I love this blogger.  She is so cute!  She’s always inspiring new looks for all of us readers to try out.  I started following her on Pinterest and I keep thinking…wow…just wow…the stuff she finds before it hits the market drives me crazy because I have to wait to get it!  {Really, I shouldn’t be teased like this.}

Another awesome idea that I plan on borrowing from her site…some of the stuff she finds, she actually sells in a separate store for other fashionistas that loved her look and want to buy it.  When I saw that, I thought…what a novel idea!  What a great way to sell my NHL Awards gowns and accessories after the party’s over, right?

Check out her blog, you’ll absolutely LOVE IT!  I really like her Style Me Fridays.  I’m not going to tell you what that is, because I want you to go and look for yourself.  Fashionistas…you’re going to fall in love with her blog.

5.  Home Goods.  I’m a bit behind in discovering Home Goods.  My friend has told me so much about the store, but I’ve never really gone because they didn’t have one that I knew of in NYC until recently. 

My bestie and I headed uptown to Home Goods and not only did I see everything I wanted…BUT I saw the pricetags and thought…you have to be kidding me!  This stuff is so cheap! 

I have been shopping around for a mannequin dress form for the office (see 4 on why…has to do with the new online shop I’m working on).  To get a custom made one, it was going to cost almost $300.  Well, I almost ordered it.  Thank God I didn’t, because the right dress form I was looking for…$59 at Home Goods AND they deliver.

I found so much stuff that I wanted to get.  I was even shopping in the baby section, because ironically their baby section matches the decor of my new office (I think I must have subconsciously made a little girl’s room…no, that biological clock isn’t ticking or anything). 

Those big frames that have the street names on it that are really popular right now?  They’re going for $29 at Home Goods. 

I almost bought a few that had inspirational quotes to go up in the office.  There were so many ideas that you could play around with to spruce up your place.  It was all a matter of…where to begin?

I think the biggest find was a huge wall mirror…for $35.  I’ve never seen a mirror that size go for anything below $100. 

I now wish that I had gone to Home Goods first when I started buying up things for my office.  They beat Target’s prices in many ways.  Home Goods is now my source for anything and everything home.

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Hellloooo Daffy’s!

23 February 2012

Apologies to the ladies outside of the NYC area, but this post is mainly about the discount retailer DAFFY’S, which only has locations in NYC, NJ and PA…but it’s a store to put on your list of things to do while visiting our great city.

There are Daffy’s shops all throughout NYC.  It’s a discount retailer quite similar to TJ Maxx and Marshall’s.  My bestie had tried shopping there  and managed to find a few good finds, but nothing that really screamed that Daffy’s was any better than TJ Maxx or Marshall’s…actually, they were below TJ Maxx and Marshall’s.

Not so long ago, they finally opened up a store right smack dab in Times Square, like half a block away from the main root of tourist insanity.  I had been meaning to go in since it opened just to see if maybe I could find some cool home stuff.

Last night I went in with no expectations whatsoever…and I was blown away.

That See by Chloe dress I’ve been trying to decide if I was going to buy or not…oh, they not only had my size…they had the dress for $50…talk about a $645 discount!

See by Chloe dress retails at $695 at Saks Fifth Avenue. A similar style See by Chloe dress is $50 at Daffy's.

What really caught my attention beyond the spring collection filled with color and big designer labels?  It was the big red TAKE AN EXTRA 50% OFF CLEARANCE.  Now we’re talking my language. 

I flipped through the well organized sales racks (they were sized) and found a Magaschoni Collection dress for $80.99 and a Laundry wrap dress for $32.99.  At take an extra 50% off, that Magaschoni dress just dropped to $40 and some change and the Laundry dress became $16.  I found two sweaters, each came to around $6-$7…and then I found a big black and white python print bag that came to $18! 

Magaschoni dress retails at $406. On sale online $121. Daffy's price $40.

At the register, I signed up for the Daffy’s Club and received another 10% off.  After tax and all…my grand total came to $90 for two designer dresses, two sweaters and a purse. 

Daffy’s really is the place where millionaires shop…the discounts are really unbelievable. 

Ever since that last time my friend and I visited Daffy’s in Herald Square a few years ago, it has definitely upgraded their labels (or the Times Square store is getting all of the good stuff since it’s a brand new store and flashier).  I even saw that one of the stores had Valentino on their Facebook page…I’m talking Valentino coming in at around $60-$80 before it hits their clearance bins!  I think I may never walk into Saks Fifth Avenue again…just wow.

Now the bad news is that now that I’ve shared my new shopping secret…that mostly empty Daffy’s in Times Square is going to be filled with bargain shoppers galore…good luck to me finding good stuff from here on out.  But then again…I would like the store to stay in Times Square for a while.

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