Author: Michelle

Ordinary People Can Change the World

Last week, I stopped into Barnes & Noble where Brad Meltzer introduced his latest book, “I am Jim Henson.”

I do not normally go to children’s author events, but I decided to go to this one.  I’m glad I did.  I was not prepared for the incredible lesson I was about to learn.

These books appear innocent on the outside.  They are stories about important figures in human history.  From Martin Luther King, Jr. (a book that is constantly sold out) to Rosa Parks, Helen Keller and Amelia Earhart, these books are designed not just as a history lesson for children, but as an underlying act to encourage children to become someone amazing.


Here are just a few excerpts.

From “I am Jim Henson”…

There’s good in all of us.  Sure, we’re all different.  Some of us have beards, or no hair, or blue fur, or green flippers.  But goodness lives within each of us.  That’s an idea that should never get old.  Believe in the good of the world.  Create something new.  Share what you love.  And find others who believe in those favorite things you dream about.  Together…

It starts when we’re kids.  That’s when we learn some of the best things in life.  Laughing.  Sharing.  Imagining.  Dreaming.  Creating.  Never stop doing them.  And never stop being kind.  There’s nothing wrong with being a do-gooder.

From “I am Helen Keller”…

Think of your life as a hill that must be climbed.  There’s no correct path to get to the top.  We all zigzag in our own ways.  At some point, you’ll slip, you’ll fall, you’ll tumble back down again.  But if you get back up and keep climbing, I promise you…you will reach the top.  Don’t let anything hold you back.  Our lives are what we make of them.  There will always be obstacles.  But there will always be ways around them.

From “I am Rosa Parks”…

In my life, people tried to knock me down. Tried to make me feel less than I was.  They teased me for being small.  Being black.  Being different.  Let me be clear: NO ONE should be able to do that.  But if they try, you must stand strong.  Stand for what’s right.  Stand up for yourself (even if it means sitting down). When you do…others will follow.  I am Rosa Parks.  I’m not a politician, or a president, or an actor, or a famous business owner.  I’m just an ordinary person.  But I’m also proof that there’s NO SUCH thing as an ordinary person.





These books are not just for children.  Adults need to read them, too.  We need to be reminded that these people were just ordinary people who did something incredible with their life.  Their stories are a reminder that no matter how ordinary we are we can change the world.

That is the point of these books.  But there’s also an even bigger message.  We are living in a time where our political climate threatens our livelihoods.   We see how the bully won the election and it gave rise to white supremacists who threaten people that are not 100% white.  [One teacher at the event told me that following the election, every child in her school was on suicide watch.]

Children are scared.  Adults are scared.  But it is in these very books, we see how being defiant and choosing to do good, choosing to do what is right and overcoming obstacles as they arise, can make us into extraordinary people.  We can rise up.

The book that had the biggest effect on me was “I am Rosa Parks.”  It made me sad and embarrassed to know how America used to be.  Even though the Civil Rights Act of 1964 happened, we are seeing America revert back to darker days.  Everything that made America great, we are told is not so great.  We are told that equality between human beings is not a great thing.  We are told that being a bully is ok.  It is accepted to be the bully.  America wants the bully to lead us.

We are told that the things we know in our heart are true and good are BAD.  What these books tell us is to stand strong.  We have to stand up for ourselves.  We may be a bunch of ordinary people, but an ordinary person can change the world.  That is self evident in these books.  WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.


I highly recommend buying these books not just for the kids, but for yourself.  We sometimes need to be reminded to believe in ourselves.  It is so hard to remain strong each and every day after facing the onslaught of bullying and fear we live in.

These books serve as a reminder that we can follow our dreams.  We can overcome obstacles.  We can be the change, just like President Obama says we should be.

Read them to remind yourself of who you are and who you can become.  Read the books to your children.  Let them see that these people were just like them.  They were kids too and they grew up to do something wonderful just by being themselves.

EXTRA: Over the last year, two of Meltzer’s children books had an overall 91% increase in sales, which is completely unheard of in the publishing industry.  This was in direct correlation to the election.  Those two books were “I am Martin Luther King, Jr.” and “I am Rosa Parks.”


The Books

Here are the current children’s books available from Brad Meltzer.  He is developing 100 stories about ordinary people who did extraordinary things.  This is just the beginning, so start collecting.

To be released later this year:

Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.




The 2017 Reading Challenge

Each year, I try to commit to reading a book a week. That is 52 books a year.

With every book read, I reward myself monetarily so that I can purchase something very expensive that I really want.  In past years, I used that money to purchase a very expensive designer handbag.  This year, I am using my earnings to save money for my new home.

I created a reward system as a way to force myself to save.  This year’s reward system is designed to help me save more for my new home, as well as declutter my library (both physical and electronic).


Make the Time to Read

This past year, I found other lovers of books reading more than 100 books in a year.  While that is an incredible challenge to complete, I resolved to read more than 52 books this year.

I’ve heard from a lot of people lately how they are lucky to read one book a year.  I don’t know what they are doing, but everyone should be reading more.  It is important to keep challenging your brain and your mind.  We need to always be continuously learning.

I am a very busy person, but I also make the time to read.  It is important to analyze what is sucking away your time.  I bet the main culprit are your devices.  Put down your phones (unless you’re reading a book on it).  Stop scrolling through social media.  Stop playing games all of the time.

Take a moment to disconnect.


You can find time to read.  You can even listen to audio books.  I do.  At the office, I’ll put my headphones in, find a free classic on audio and listen to the book.  That counts as part of the reading challenge.

If you have some free time at the office, find an ebook on Kindle Unlimited and read up on a subject matter that can help you with your job.  Many ebooks are 50-100 pages and are very quick reads filled with so much information on how you can be better at your job.

When you’re commuting, listen to an audio book or read a book.  You can get books for free at the library, including the latest ones.  You can even download library books to your devices.

There are many ways you can indulge in reading a book every single day.  Seriously…you can listen to a book and play Candy Crush at the same time.

I would like to challenge all of you to read a book a week this year.  I’ll be sharing my resolution with you in hopes that it will inspire you to read more books.

We should never stop learning.  We should always encourage each other to become more educated, even if it is just through books.  There is always something new we can discover in books.


My Reward System

So without adieu, here’s how my resolution works.  You can use this as a guideline when you set up your own reward system.

REWARD SYSTEM

Classic = $100
Library Book (i.e.  free book) = $50
Book purchased in 2017 = cost of book x2
Review Books* = $25
Personal library + donated after reading = $50
Personal library = $30
Electronic book = $10

[*I am asked to review books by authors and publishers on a regular basis.]

You don’t have to create your own reward system exactly like mine.  Construct your chart based on the type of books you want to read and how much you can afford to save towards whatever your goal is.

I put classics at $100 because they are considered ‘smart’ books, meaning, it takes a little longer to read.  Since one of my resolutions this year is to minimize more, if I donate the book, I’m rewarded a little more than if I keep the book.


Keep track

Finally, keep track of what you read.  Keep a list of the books you’ve read in the form that is easiest for you.

I record my list in my calendar so I can see the date each book was completed.  I also write down the name of the book so that I when I look over my resolutions at the end of the year, I can see what types of books I read for the year.

I also record the name of the books read on a pretty piece of paper…like a library card.  I noticed this in the movie “Mr. Church” and thought that would be a cute idea to keep track of what I’m  reading all in one place.

Also, since I sometimes forget if I’ve read a book before, I keep a notebook of all of the books I’ve ever read.  There have been a few times when I’ll get 3/4 of the way through a book before I realize I’ve read the book before.  I am not one of those that likes to re-read books, because there are so many books out there that need to be read and so little lifetime with which to do it in.


PW’s Reading Challenge: Books Read 2017

For those wanting to follow along with my resolution, here are the books I’ve read.  I will be doing a review of each book on the site and linking to where you can purchase the book at Amazon.  [Note: When review is complete, review link will be live.]

If I am able to interview the author, I’ll also put a link to that interview as well.

So happy reading and good luck.

Currently reading: Silence by Shūsaku Endō and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke.

    1. Saving Fish From Drowning by Amy Tan.
    2. Lost Horizon by James Hilton.
    3. I am Jim Henson by Brad Meltzer. Review
    4. I am Rosa Parks by Brad Meltzer. Review
    5. I am Helen Keller by Brad Meltzer. Review

Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.




A New Year: Making and Keeping Your Resolutions in 2017

Happy New Year!  Now that 2016 is behind us, right now is a good time to reflect on the things we would like to change about ourselves and put our resolutions into motion to create a lasting change in our lives.  We should focus on the things that bring the best out of us.




Learning How to Habit Stack

I read a book recently that I believe is essential in creating successful resolutions, especially those tricky ones everyone fails at every year (i.e. diet and exercise).  That book is called Habit Stacking.   S.J. Scott offers 97 different ideas on how you can stack habits you would like to make permanent.

He shows how easily things can be done by analyzing the actual ‘habit’ we are trying to instill, creating a specific (and short) time frame with which to complete that task.  He even shares additional ideas on how to spearhead getting each job done.

[You can download this book as part of the Kindle Unlimited program for free.  Details are in the banner below.]

The way each habit is broken down, you can see how easy it is to apply those principles to your own life.  For me, I saw how I could break down a blog post so that I would be willing to write more.  The book gave me ideas on how to manage my time throughout the day to be more productive and to reward myself (check emails, play Candy Crush Soda, check social media, etc.) after completing each job.  In other words, the book teaches you how to focus on getting the task at hand done by offering a reward after the task’s completion.




In this day and age, we are always distracted by so many things around us.  It is difficult to concentrate on getting things done.  Scott helps you see how you can create positive habits in your life by showing you how he does things.

One habit I thought was spot on for those who put diet/exercise as their resolution is to do one thing at a time.  Don’t start off big (like trying to run a mile in the first week when you haven’t worked out in 5 years).  Start off small.  Do one push-up.  The next day, do two push-ups.  Each day, add one more.

Run one block.  Go back home.  The next day, run a block and a half or two blocks.  Or if that progression is too much for you, do one block a week, adding another block each sequential week.

The whole purpose of starting off small is to create a lasting habit.  It is easier to give up in the beginning because it seems too difficult when we are trying to make up for lost time on the treadmill after going through the great exercise famine.  If you start off small and see how easy it is, you are more likely to create a lasting habit each day/week.  You’ll feel more motivated to do more and maybe add an extra 5 push-ups at the end of your workout.

The whole purpose of breaking down each resolution to its bare minimum is so you can see just how easy the task is to complete.  The easier the task looks, the more likely you are willing to create a lasting habit to make your resolutions a success.

I highly recommend reading the book.  It will give you many ideas on how you can break down each of your resolutions so you can accomplish each and every single one.




PW Resolutions

I probably make this resolution every year for the site, but I definitely need to write more.  I had to sit back and try to figure out what I really want this site to be about.  I had to think of my niche audience.  Truth of the matter is my niche audience is the film industry and lovers of books, especially those looking for book club questions.

I plan on expanding on that more with more interviews from filmmakers and authors.  I will be sharing my 52+ books journey for 2017.  So far, I’m on book #2.  I will couple the journey with book reviews, book club questions (since that seems to be a popular search item on this site), and author interviews (if possible).




I’ll be sharing more tips that I uncover (like saving money, all natural beauty remedies, etc.) and ways to make your life easier.  There will be recipes, travel and fashion posts.  I’ll even share my own resolution journey.

This year, my main resolution is to complete my novel.  It is time to put all of the finishing touches to it.  As of now, it is a 3-book series.

I meet with publishers in May and June, but on a different manner (which basically determines all of the “IT” books for 2017-18).  I’ve established good relationships with a few major publishing houses, so we’ll see how things go and which route I will take.

Over the course of this year, I will be launching a few campaigns.  I’ll leave that as a surprise.

All in all, I have a lot of plans for PW, as well as for my writing career.  I’m thankful I read Scott’s book last month.  He’s helped me figure out how to get everything I want to do done from here on out.

Give the book a read, I think it will definitely help everyone re-define how they can accomplish their own goals.  Dreams are always difficult to accomplish, especially if it seems too hard.

Break down each of your goals so that you can figure out all of the different tasks you need to complete.  After you’ve broken them down, work on each task in order.  You’ll find that it may be hard at first, but if you keep at it, finish each task, reward yourself, then start on the next task…pretty soon you’ll find you have reached your goal.


Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.

What Makes God Happy?

I don’t often share my meditations anymore, but I thought I would share this one, just because it really makes you think outside of yourself.  This is about finding a way to be happy by thinking beyond just yourself.

Usually when we speak to God, whether through prayer or meditation, it is always about what we want. We are always asking for this, that and the other, never stopping to ask God how was his day.  How many of us really take the time to ask God how he’s doing?  How many of you ever have?

When I started off my meditation the other night, I asked him, “What do you want me to know?”  [As in, what should we talk about that concerns me?]  Then I stopped and said, “Wait.  That is selfish of me.  Let’s try something else.  Tell me…what makes you happy?”




I honestly don’t think anyone has ever asked God that.  Sure, in many religions, someone will say we should do things that will make God happy with us.  Asking about God’s happiness is always centered on a selfish reason, like ‘are you happy with me?’  Are we doing good things in God’s eyes?  It is always a self reflection of ourselves, rather than just asking God…what is good or what makes him happy.

So what did God reveal when asked this question?  The answer is much simpler than you can ever imagine.  Here are a few examples of what makes God happy…

  • The laughter of a child.
  • Playing games with your child, chasing them around outside.
  • Sitting down, talking, sharing and laughing with good friends.
  • The sun shining on your face.
  • Counting the stars in the sky.
  • Lying down in the grass, watching the clouds go by next to the person you love (like your child).
  • The person you love (like your child) wrapping their arms around you and leaning their head against your chest.
  • A hug from someone you love (like your child).

There is a common theme in all of this.  The first one being that none of the things that makes God happy centers around material things.  Not a single thing above deals with objects.  Instead, it deals with people and nature.  God’s happiness is found in sharing love with those around you and finding peace in nature.




These examples are all very simplistic moments, but they are all things that we take for granted each and every day.  We take for granted how it feels to hold someone you love.  We don’t take time to meet with friends to talk and laugh together in an outside environment, enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature.  We don’t chase after our kids and play with them outside.  How many of us sit down and even look at the stars every night?  [Those of us who live in the city don’t even have the luxury of seeing stars in the sky.]

Can you remember the last time you laid down in the grass and watched the clouds floating by?  I think it’s been decades ago for me.

When you truly think about doing those things (and the last time you actually did them), did it bring a moment of happiness to your heart?  Remember when those moments were so pure, innocent and peaceful?  Those are the moments that make God happy.

Thinking of those examples, when you want to find your own moment of happiness, ask God what makes him happy.  Truly open your mind to see what it reveals.  If that moment brings you a little bit of love, peace and happiness, hold onto that happy thought.

Take that happy thought and go one step further.  When it comes to service, think of the things that make God happy and using that as a guideline, consider thinking of what will make others happy.  Do things for others that will truly make them happy (note that this has nothing to do with material things).

Spend time with the people you love.  I mean, really go outside and spend time with them.  Don’t bring your devices with you to distract you.  Disconnect from technology so you can relearn how to connect with each other.  Those are the moments both you and your loved ones are going to remember for the rest of your lives.

This is how you create happiness.  True happiness comes from a place of love.




In the Grand Scheme of Things

After my meditation, I found how easily my world changed around me.  I went to take the trash out and noticed a dog waiting outside of my door with his owner.  It was like he was waiting for me to come out.  I had never seen him before.  I know a lot of the dogs in the neighborhood.  This one, I did not know.

I put the trash on the curb, and the dog came over as if to say good morning.  I felt like this was the universe saying good morning in the happiest way possible.  The owner of the dog was just beaming.

On the way to the train, I noticed an old man sitting in a potted plant doing his #2 business.  I had never seen anyone do that before.  He waved at me as I was passing by and said, “Good morning!” in a very cheery tone.  I didn’t know what to say, so I said good morning back.

I got a block away before I realized…ok…you can’t help but laugh at something like that.




One moment after another was just one more moment of happiness to add to the list.

Embracing God’s happiness and keeping the thoughts of what makes him happy does bring happiness into your own life in incredible ways.  It is like the universe conspires to bring happiness right to your door.

Just seeing that dog sitting in front of my door waiting for me to come out…that, to me, was the universe winking back at me.  That is the kind of life I like to live, one where the universe conspires to bring happiness into my life in all the little moments out there.




 

Day of the Dead Halloween Home Decor

Matthew Lucifer is getting ready for one of his favorite holidays.
Matthew Lucifer is getting ready for one of his favorite holidays.  Here he is posing with books with his namesake.

Fall is one of my favorite times of year to redecorate.  Out come the spooky box of goodies, trips to the farmer’s market to pick up an array of pumpkins, and fun DIY projects.

This year, my little guy wanted to be part of the photoshoot where we share a peek into how we’ve decorated the living room for Halloween/Day of the Dead.  You can say that these days, he’s a little too eager to be part of the story I’m sharing with all of you.




2016-10-01-14-43-19

Matthew Lucifer welcomes you on a brief tour of our decorations for the Halloween season.  [Yes, that is his name.  He earned his middle name when I adopted him 2 years ago.  You can follow his royal evilness on Instagram: mrmatthewkenneth.]

Glass apothecary jars from Marshalls are filled with candy and pumpkins from the local farmer’s market.  These small pumpkins last an entire month and are tasty when roasted with some olive oil, sea salt and black pepper.

Just preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  Roast for 35-40 minutes. Use the roasted pumpkins/squash on top of salads, in curries, with pasta…the meals you can create are endless.

2016-10-01-15-06-50

A few years ago I repurposed an old table and made it into an extra large chalkboard.  I combined this sugar skull stencil with Martha Stewart letter stencils using these chalkboard marker pens to create this Midnight Witches Soiree chalkboard graphic.

2016-10-01-15-05-20

Pier 1 has been my go to place for Day of the Dead decorations.  I picked up this Dia de los Muertos cat there last year.  To add a few more scary accents, I added my Hannibal Funko and a figurine from Aliens I received from Nerd Block.




2016-10-01-14-43-01

These Dia de los Muertos Bride and Groom from Pier 1 are my favorites.

2016-10-01-14-41-54

These sugar skulls are essential in decorating for the Day of the Dead.  Just add a few scary books into the mix, a Spike figurine from Nerd Block, along with some photos of the people in your life that have passed.

With Dia de los Muertos, you are honoring the people you have lost.  It is important to set food out (like the candy and pumpkins in the apothecary jars), candles and pictures of loved ones with the decor.

I do a mix of Halloween and Dia de los Muertos since the two holidays are back to back. [Dia de los Muertos is on November 1.]




2016-10-01-14-42-19

For the walls, I usually switch out the photos from the frames and add a coloring book page from the Day of the Dead Coloring Book.  I haven’t completed this year’s page yet, but when I do, I’ll be adding it to the wall.

The monster print is signed by the master of children’s horror R.L. Stine.  It’s funny, because when I was a kid, I wanted to write books just like R.L. Stine.  When I met him last year, he started to sign my name on the poster, before laughing at himself and saying that he was signing it as if he were me, instead of his own name.

I was surprised.  My dream as a kid was to be just like him and now he was signing my name as if it were his own.  It was definitely surreal and ironic.  It was like the universe was winking back at me.




2016-10-01-14-42-40

2016-10-01-14-42-51

That is our Halloween/Day of the Dead decorations for this year.  How about you guys?  How do you decorate this time of year?




Give More Than What You Take – A Life Lesson

give-more-than-what-you-take-a-life-lessonWhen Warren Buffett released his tax returns after the second Presidential debate, one thing stood out to me: how much he donated to charity versus how much he made in 2015.

He wrote:

OMAHA, Neb.–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Answering a question last night about his $916 million income tax loss carryforward in 1995, Donald Trump stated that “Warren Buffett took a massive deduction.” Mr. Trump says he knows more about taxes than any other human. He has not seen my income tax returns. But I am happy to give him the facts.

My 2015 return shows adjusted gross income of $11,563,931. My deductions totaled $5,477,694, of which allowable charitable contributions were $3,469,179. All but $36,037 of the remainder was for state income taxes.

The total charitable contributions I made during the year were $2,858,057,970, of which more than $2.85 billion were not taken as deductions and never will be. Tax law properly limits charitable deductions.

My federal income tax for the year was $1,845,557. Returns for previous years are of a similar nature in respect to contributions, deductions and tax rates.

I have paid federal income tax every year since 1944, when I was 13. (Though, being a slow starter, I owed only $7 in tax that year.) I have copies of all 72 of my returns and none uses a carryforward.

Finally, I have been audited by the IRS multiple times and am currently being audited. I have no problem in releasing my tax information while under audit. Neither would Mr. Trump – at least he would have no legal problem.





Did you see how much he donated to charity? $2.85 billion.  Even more interesting is that he never claims his charitable deductions on his tax returns.

Did you notice his 2015 adjusted gross income?  $11.5 million.  Wow, right?

Buffett’s current net worth is $66.4 billion.  The amount he donated to charity overall in 2016 was only 4% of his overall net worth.  Even though he earned an income of $11.5 million, he still donated way more than he earned that year.  Can you imagine doing something like that?

The Key to Wealth

You see, that is one of the most valuable keys to creating wealth – to give way more than you take in.  That wealth is not limited to just money.  It is in everything we do in life.  If you give more love than you take, you will receive more love than you put out there.  If you give more food to others than what you take for yourself, you will receive a bounty of food from the most unlikely of sources.

That latter part is something I witness daily.  I give food to the homeless whenever I can.  I have way more food than I know what to do with.  I don’t expect anything in return when I give.


As a reward from the universe, neighbors knock on my door to deliver plates of food on their best china.  People pick up chocolates when they travel to give to me as a gift.  Just the other day, someone dropped off a large jug of vinegar just because I commented that I loved the salad dressing my neighbor makes.

The rewards for showing kindness, expecting nothing in return, creates even more wealth according to what you give.  That is the key to having a wealthy life.  Give way more than what you take for yourself.  Give without wanting anything in return.  In Buffett’s case, he gives way more than he makes in a year, and still continues to grow his wealth in other areas (investments, interest, etc.).

The most important thing is that he never claims those charitable acts on his tax returns, because to take a credit on your tax returns for charitable giving means that the act of giving was not so selfless.  You still got something in return for doing a good deed. That does not equate to giving without some sort of strings attached.  The universe does not reward you for those types of actions.

The Lesson

So the lesson learned here today is to give way more than you take in without expecting anything in return.  For those who need guidance in growing your monetary wealth this way, start by tithing 10% of your gross income to charities and those who need help.  Give selflessly.  As your wealth grows each year, donate more and more and more.  Don’t claim your charitable contributions on your tax returns.  When you have more than enough money to sustain you and your loved ones, start donating more than you take in.  This is your way of sharing the wealth and thanking the universe for the wealth it gave to you.




Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

thoughtful-giving
Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

A few weeks ago, I started packing an extra lunch to give to the homeless guys on the block that I adopted in NYC.  There are usually two or three guys on that block.

I started packing an extra lunch, just to up my thoughtful giving game.  Instead of giving the guys a little treat pack, I would give them a meal that I made in my own kitchen.  This was about sharing the blessing I’ve been given.  If God deemed that my refrigerator and pantry be filled with so much food (more food than I can consume myself), then I should share the bounty.

When I changed my diet a couple of months ago, I noticed there were certain items I could not donate to the neighborhood food pantry.  It made me ponder what I should do with all of this food I can’t eat anymore.  That’s when I realized I could cook up a few meals and give it to my guys during the week.

I have a bread machine with plenty of flour.  I didn’t know what I could do with all of that flour after my lifestyle changed.  Then I realized, I can bake bread for them.


A few days after I came up with the idea of making complete meals for the guys, I saw a Facebook posting about someone who used to do the same thing.

When the writer of the story was a young boy, his mother used to send him to school with an extra lunch for one of the boys in his class.  She told him, “Give him the lunch before school.”  He didn’t understand why.  There were times he would hand the boy the lunch during lunch hour.

He didn’t realize until he was older that the reason why his mother asked him to give the boy the lunch before school was so that no one would know his situation.  It was a way of hiding that boy’s poverty from their classmates.  Kids can be cruel.  His mother wanted to protect the boy from that cruelty he would have received from other kids by receiving this charity.

The author realized the invaluable lesson she was instilling in him.  There are kids today that are humiliated because they can’t afford a hot lunch.  It is even exacerbated by the school system when children have their hot meals taken away and have it replaced by a cheese sandwich.

A bunch of idiots on a school board decided to institute those rules of cheese sandwiches when parents failed to pay their children’s lunch bills.  It’s the school system humiliating the child in front of all of the other children, because their parents  are not paying the school lunch bill.  They’re punishing the child for their parents’ failure.

It’s not right.


Imagine changing that narrative if you are a parent.  What if you sent an extra lunch with your child, just in case there was another child that was subjected to the cheese sandwich?  What if you sent them with extra food for those children whose only food they will receive that day are from those school meals?  There are some schools that have a private food pantry for impoverished children who are from homes that cannot afford food.

It is private so that other children do not know who is shopping that food pantry.

It is a shame that children have to fear other children finding out that they are starving.  Children with the wealth of food on their tables should share with those who do not have that same blessing.  This is a human quality that should be instilled in each and every one of us.  We should not feel ashamed or overprotective of sharing our blessings with others.

I’ve seen people repulsed when I stop to give food to the homeless guys or stop to talk to them.  Someone was telling me recently that he was out with a woman when they were stopped by a homeless man asking for assistance.  He went to give him the few dollars he had in his pocket.  The homeless man accidentally brushed up against the woman and she freaked out.  She was so disgusted she said she had to go home and shower to get the homeless off of her.

When he told me this story, my mouth literally dropped.  He re-emphasized the most important point, “They are human beings, too.”



We live in a world where there is so much abundance.  It is unfathomable that anyone should go hungry in this country.  How is it that we cannot share this wealth of food with everyone?

If you’re a parent, teach your kids a valuable lesson about being a thoughtful and giving human being.  Send them to school with an extra lunch for those kids that are hungry.  Get the other families to do it, too.  If there’s no private food pantry, get the school on board to start one.  If there is one in your child’s school, donate to it.

Kids that don’t have to worry about food have a better chance at succeeding in school. When they are focused on where their next meal is coming from or the fact that they are starving, they will fail in school.  Even in colleges, this is an issue.  Don’t think that just because someone got into college that they are not homeless or starving.  They are still trying to better their situation, but it becomes difficult when they are looking at the clock hoping they get to the shelter in time or the fact that they are starving.  When all you can think about is food, it makes it harder to concentrate on your studies.

It takes a village to help raise each and every child.  We need to change the current narrative and stop being so divided.  It is small changes like this that will help move our future as a society in the right direction.

For the adults, pack an extra lunch.  You never know who you’ll encounter that may be hungry and starving.  Maybe you already know someone that could use that extra lunch you’ve packed.  There may even be someone in your own workplace or church congregation that can’t afford food.

Donate to your local food pantry.  If there’s no community food pantry, start a giving box where people can put food in the pantry box.  People that need the food can take what they want.  This is about helping each other.  No one in America should go hungry.  Do your part and share your blessings with others.  Not everyone gets that same blessing of a hot meal three times a day.  Some people are praying for what you take for granted.




A Scary Movie Binge You Haven’t Thought Of Yet

Christopher Lee
Christopher Lee

For those looking for a list of scary movies to watch this Halloween season, why not try something new?  In my research this past month, a friend of mine brought up the late actor Christopher Lee.

Lee is well known to many as being Saruman from the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies.  Last year, on June 7, 2015, he died at the age of 93.

What many people do not know is that Lee’s career spans over 69 years.  In that career, he was well known as playing the villain, mainly in scary movies.  He’s played the creature from Frankenstein, Dracula (ten times), the mummy, Rasputin, Jekyll and Hyde, and many other characters of the occult.

If you are looking for a new scary movie binge, why not honor the late Christopher Lee by bingeing on his scary movies during the month of October?  If you are an Amazon Prime member, these movies are available on Amazon Video for free as part of your membership.  They are also available for rent on Amazon Video.


Here’s what I’ll be watching.  Note that many films may have changed names.

  1. Circus of Fear (or Psycho-Circus)
  2. Raw Meat
  3. Season of the Witch
  4. Theatre of Death (or Blood Fiend)
  5. Dracula AD 1972
  6. To the Devil…a Daughter
  7. Horror Express
  8. House of the Long Shadows
  9. The Satanic Rites of Dracula (or Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride)
  10. Taste the Blood of Dracula
  11. In Search of Dracula
  12. Count Dracula
  13. The Mummy
  14. Hercules in the Haunted World
  15. The Blood of Fu Manchu
  16. The House that Dripped Blood
  17. Nothing But the Night
  18. Crimson Cult (or Curse of the Crimson Altar)
  19. Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors
  20. Dracula Prince of Darkness
  21. Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism
  22. The City of the Dead (or Horror Hotel)
  23. Dark Shadows
  24. The Resident
  25. Sleepy Hollow
  26. Gremlins II: The New Batch
  27. The Wicker Tree
  28. Corpse Bride
  29. The Bloody Judge
  30. Horror of Dracula
  31. Scars of Dracula




Focusing on the Passion and Making It the Mission

passionOver this past week, I’ve been pondering what I would like to do with this site.  My friends assisted me with the items they would like to see, as well as identifying the items they already liked about the site.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret…keeping up appearances for this site is very time consuming.  I plan on changing that.  My personal goal is to start posting on a daily basis.  That means planning what will go up on this site well in advance.

Planning leads to doing.  I started creating the content, cooking up recipes, taking the photographs, writing the posts and then began to feel overwhelmed.


As I was slicing up the pumpkins for the October recipes, I started to feel that pang in my gut.  It was that pain of feeling stressed and overwhelmed as I was trying to do something right for myself.  It’s that irony of the site’s name…wanting to be perfect.

I stopped what I was doing and re-evaluated why I was doing this.  What was my current mindset?  I realized I was stressing myself out and not enjoying the ride.  If I didn’t change my mindset then I was going to end up with a bunch of crap meals.  You see, I am of the belief that how you are feeling as you prepare your food is a direct correlation with how well your food will taste.

People who love to cook tend to make food taste incredible because you can taste their emotion in the food.  I used to watch one chef create meals for me on a whim.  I would watch him as he poured his love for food and cooking right into the meal.  A simple fried egg tastes so different when such care is taken than one created with no emotion or feeling.  It’s about passion and sharing that passion with someone else.

I didn’t want all of the food I was making to taste horrible, so I changed my mindset and focused on why I love to cook.  As a result, everything turned out so well, my friend was surprised at how flavorful everything tasted.

Changing my mindset was all about reminding myself what I am passionate about and why.

I met with filmmaker Edwin Walker today for lunch.  He is in town from LA filming a new movie.  We met last year (see link to our story).  There was something about the timing when we met last year.  He mentioned to me that when we met, it was like a turning point in our lives.  There was something about the direction our lives would take and the people we would become after our first meeting.


We became so inspired by each other to live life fully and passionately.  Since we met, I have been trying to find my passion in life again.  I only find that my passion comes when I write and when I am being myself and not focusing on what other people want from me.

You see, we live in a world filled with mediocrity and false lives.  We struggle every single day to be perfect in our Instagram photos, Twitter, and all forms of social media.  Reality TV makes people believe that these stories we see are real lives, when it’s just an act.  We become depressed when we don’t have over a thousand friends or followers.  We feel like we are failing at life when people are not following us or reading our work or we’re not getting hundreds of thousands of hits on our sites or Youtube videos.

Life for most people has become about the get rich quick schemes, becoming viral, and making a ton of money in the process.  It’s not about creating a passion project and putting your blood, sweat and tears into it.  It’s about the instant gratification, not the eternal happiness.

We have to constantly think of how to falsely entertain people to make you think that our lives are super glamorous, even when, for many people, it is not.  People become superstars for portraying a life on reality TV, even though there is nothing real about their lives on that TV show.

It is like a drug addiction.  It’s about that instant high that makes you feel happy for a moment, instead of working on what will make you happy for life.

People don’t watch real artistic movies or qualitative television programming anymore. They’re flocking to the latest ‘explosive’ blockbuster where it’s very little script, and more action with everything blowing up every other minute.  The shows that make you think are constantly being canceled.

Children don’t go home and watch cartoons for half an hour like I did when I was a kid.  They watch four-minute Youtube videos for entertainment, because they can’t sit through a half hour cartoon anymore.


People complain about the ‘long form’ on blogs.  They don’t want to read a long drawn out story.  They want glamorous photos with very little text…maybe one paragraph of text and that’s it.  They want to see people living these lives that are so far fetched.  It’s like watching a fairy tale or a soap opera.  They assume it’s real, when it is only a glamour.

It’s depressing isn’t it?  It’s like comparing ourselves to the Joneses.  We try to emulate these people on a daily basis, as if that is how we are supposed to act and live, even though what they are doing on that reality TV is an act.  It’s not real.  People assume it is real and follow suit, like this is how they are supposed to act, think, live and dress…no matter how outrageous it is.

We’re supposed to get plastic surgery to be pretty.  If you’re ugly, that means you’re too poor to look perfect.  As one friend said, it’s what separates the rich from the poor.  That is the culture we live in.

People sweat it out and diet, not for themselves, but to look and be thin and accepted.  I mean, Donald Trump talks about how horrible it is for women and girls to be fat or ugly.  If you are overweight or gain weight, you are called nasty names and meant to feel less than what you are.

When you look at street style photos, they never ever photograph fashionable women that are not thin.  I know because I’ve watched thin, beautiful women pulled out of line at fashion shows to be photographed for street style, while the fashionable curvy ladies are overlooked.  I have yet to see a single curvy blogger be selected in the slideshows for street style photos, even if they do have more followers than that thin, pretty girl that was pulled out of line to be photographed.

It is as if to say that X is the only thing acceptable in society, which then creates the unhealthy narrative of what it means to be a human being.  We see what is on the outside, the shell, and never what is on the inside that makes each and every single one of us great individuals.

The narrative in our society today is about the false perceptions of reality.  It’s the quick fix drug that makes you feel something for a moment, to make you forget what is real in your life, instead of focusing on how you can make your life better.


People don’t want the stories that help them self-reflect, connect and learn something.  They don’t go see movies that will inspire them to be better human beings.  They don’t want to see movies that will fix what is wrong with them on the inside.  They only want those things that will help them escape reality, instead of focusing on creating a better reality for themselves and the people around them.

People focus on how they need to be fit, thin, beautiful, well-dressed, rich and famous in order to be accepted in society.  You have to have thousands of followers before anyone takes you seriously.

I know there are publishing houses that have said that they are not interested in talking to you unless they see you have over 1,000 followers on Twitter (and yes, they do check to see if your followers are real or if you bought a bunch of dead accounts).  That puts you into the 5% of people that do.  That’s the 5% they are willing to talk to and work with.

Back in the day, when I was working with bands, each record company said they were only interested in talking to bands that had a following already.  The artist needed that following before they would even listen to their music.  This, of course, was before blogs and social media were in the picture.  It was a lot harder back then to create a following, because they didn’t have social media to help spread the word.

What I’m getting at is this…

I’m glad I started talking about re-branding with my friends.  What they were asking of me was to be raw and real on this site.  Even Edwin today stressed that being real is what made this site unique.  I was sharing the stories of people that needed to be told.  These are the people that are living their lives passionately.  They are living their dreams.

Edwin wanted me to focus on my passions in life.  For me, that is writing, books and movies.  In my universe, all of those things are interconnected.


Last year, I discovered that my main followers and readers of this site were the entertainment and film industry.  I was doing something they needed.  I wasn’t putting out stories or reviews like everyone else.  I was telling the narrative untouched by the big dogs of the entertainment industry.  I was sharing the art and the passion…the reason why people got into acting, directing, filmmaking, writing, art, etc.

No one ever talks about that anymore.

I noticed recently that a film short that is turning into a feature film soon has been publishing their poster with a quote from me from this site.  I didn’t even notice it until I started reading the film’s poster and was like, ‘Wait…that sounds like me…’ and then I saw my site’s name underneath it.

I kind of did a little leap for joy when I saw it, because that directs more people in the film industry to this site.  This site, of course, is not about entertainment news.  It is about living life passionately.  In a way, the site’s name is about me being that perfectionist in the same way all artists strive for perfection in their art.  They are just looking for people to understand that dynamic and passion that went into their art.

Unfortunately, the art is always 80% business, 20% art.  I learned that a long time ago.  I’ll be honest, it is that 80% I hate about writing, because that 80% is what stresses me out all of the time.  It prevents me from being me and writing more.

I believe that is the real reason why I don’t post as often as I would like to do on this site, because it becomes more about business than it does about the art.  I plan on changing that mindset.

The business side is going to need to be something I am passionate about so that I can create.  I need to ask myself if what I am doing is a true reflection of who I am, because truthfully, I am not going to share anything that is not true to who I am.  There is too little time in life to waste it sharing the things that have no meaning.  I am not going to participate in the mediocrity that has consumed the lives of the world around us.  This is about being raw and real about everything.


What I do not share on this site is in actuality the side of me my friends have asked that I start sharing.  They want me to share my journey in life.  It is the narrative I don’t share completely.

You may think, ‘oh, this is going to be a dull and drab journey,’ when in actuality, it is quite surreal.  Like the irony of sharing the Russell Crowe binge on the site is that 15 years ago, would you believe he actually serenaded me in Chicago, Illinois?

Or that when I started the Russell Crowe binge, Paul Haggis (“Crash,” “The Next Three Days”) had stalked my Instagram account and liked a bunch of photos on it?  I hadn’t even gotten to “The Next Three Days” yet, and here the director was on my Instagram liking a bunch of photos on it.  How is that for irony?

Or how about meeting fashion designer Malan Breton and just being so enamored with our conversation that I looked at him like, if I could talk to you for the rest of my life, I would be one happy woman?  He was the first person that ever looked at me and told me right off the bat what my ethnicity was.  No one has ever been so spot on.  I think what was even cooler was that he knew who I was before I even introduced myself.

This is the world my friends want me to talk about.  One friend said that I had always told her these stories about the life I lived.  She said that she never even imagined how real that world really was for me until she saw how famous people would walk right up to me and we would have these long, drawn out conversations that were so intriguing.

It amazed her even more when she realized these people knew who I was, even if we were just meeting for the first time.  This is the world she wants me to share, because it is so surreal.  She wants me to share the gowns I wore.  Others want me to share the fashion I wear on a daily basis.  They want me to talk about the events I go to, because not everyone has that kind of life.  It’s a dream life.

It’s about that VIP status.  It’s a status I’ve had since my days in Washington, DC, where I could hear other society women complaining that I had what they wanted…status.


When I first moved to NYC, my boss told me that he knew when I was hired that I was known in societal circles in DC.  He told me that if I wanted to enter NYC society, he would help me, but he warned me that it was pretty mean.

I remember thanking him for offering to introduce me, but I would rather go at it alone, choosing who I would like to surround myself with, rather than trying to be accepted by a group of people that seeks to destroy the people around them.  In NYC there are different forms of VIP.  The number one thing you need is money and being constantly seen in those VIP circles.  After a while, you stop paying for the VIP treatment, because it comes to you for free.

You get the invites.  You stop running around trying to be accepted by the in crowd or pursuing people for interviews by going through their publisher or agent.  After you’ve established yourself, they come to you.  You don’t have to pursue anything in life anymore because you are ‘in.’

That is the world my friends want me to share, because not everyone is allowed into that VIP world.  It’s not always about parties, getting into clubs, etc.  It’s about being in a room with incredible people like yourself and learning something from them.  It’s about experiencing life in a new way beyond just attending an event.  It’s about learning how the event came into being (like a film), meeting the people involved with creating this art, and letting yourself become inspired by these people and inspiring them by sharing your own journey.

It’s about the human aspect beyond the celebrity.  The celebrity part…that’s not real, you know that, right?  Celebrity is a false illusion.

I remember there was this guy who told me years ago he was famous.  I told him I didn’t believe him.  He spent the next year trying to prove to me that he was.  I still don’t believe that he is, but during that time, it created a friendship.  I never saw the celebrity.  I saw him.  I saw his passion in life and I wanted him to pursue it at all cost, so I helped him wherever I could.

You see, that is the true essence of who I am and what this site is about.  I am drawn to other people like me, the creative types and the people pursuing their dreams and living life passionately.  Why?  Because these are the people that inspire me to be the person I truly am inside.


We are always learning from each other and inspiring each other.  It’s about sharing our journeys together and helping each other in our own ways.  That is the life I’m talking about.  There’s the glamour on the outside, but the true essence at the core is what is more important.  This is the stuff that The PW is all about.  It’s not about just the glitz and glamour of life.  It’s about the things that make us self-reflect in order to be true to our very own being.

This is about finding the true reality that is life.  What’s on the outside is always just the shell of a being.  It is not the true essence of what a human being is.  It’s the glamour.  In other words, it is not real.

It is the drug that makes you feel something for a moment, but never truly changing who you are on the inside.  It’s the drug that gives you temporary happiness, instead of focusing on healing what is inside of you and finding what true happiness is, your eternal contentment in life.

The Goal of This Site 

In trying to develop content on a daily basis for this site, and remaining true to myself as a writer (i.e. to write the novel, as well), I will be incorporating a version of the KonMari practice in minimizing my life.  I am setting out to learn how to make things simpler so that I can post daily.

I am going to attempt to accomplish this goal beginning today.  Along the way, hopefully, I’ll discover new and easier ways to create content without feeling overwhelmed (don’t worry, I’ll share my discoveries, because I’m sure that can help many others out there looking to simplify life).  It’s that overwhelmed feeling that keeps me from being passionate about this site.  I seek to change that, because this is supposed to be my passion project.  I just need to focus on what makes me so passionate about it.

For now, I’ll be testing the water in new ways.  There will be movies, books, home, arts, fashion, This Is 40, and more on this site.  It’s not about what I think people want to read.  This is going to be about the passion in life.


The Ultimate Russell Crowe Binge

man-of-steel-russell-croweFor those who follow me on Twitter, I went through a bit of a Russell Crowe binge this past month.  While I still have a few movies left to find (the earlier stuff from his pre-Hollywood days), I thought I’d share the actual binge with you…just in case you were interested in doing your own binge.

Here is the list of Crowe movies in order that I watched them.


Movie Year Notes
1 The Water Diviner 2014 This is Crowe’s directorial debut and probably one of the most powerful stories he has brought to the screen.
2 3:10 to Yuma 2007 Something you will start to notice in the Russell Crowe binge is that there are repeat offenders in his work.  In this movie, Logan Lerman (“Noah”) and Kevin Durand (multiple films) are the repeat offenders.  Crowe also has a bit of a bromance with Durand.
3 Broken City 2013 In a SNL skit in May 2016, Russell Crowe referenced his co-star Catherine Zeta-Jones’s husband’s (Michael Douglas) tongue cancer (a type of cancer that is ususally caused by HPV, transmitted by cunnilingus).  Crowe ran with that in the skit.
4 A Beautiful Mind 2001 We start to see the beginning of the bond between repeat offenders Jennifer Connelly and her spouse, Paul Bettany, in Crowe’s films.  This is the film where the two lovebirds met.  Connelly won an Academy Award for best actress in a supporting role for this film.
5 A Good Year 2006 This is just one of a handful of collaborations Crowe will have with Ridley Scott. Also, later, Crowe’s connection with this wine film will lead to another good year for wine in the “Red Obsession” 8 years later.
6 Noah 2014 Repeat offenders Jennifer Connelly and Logan Lerman star with Crowe in this artistic rendition of the ancient tale of the Great Flood.
7 Gladiator 2000 The first collaboration between Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott.  This movie earned 5 Oscars including Best Picture and Best Actor.
8 Heaven’s Burning 1997 This Australian movie is a bit Tarantino-esque.  This was Crowe’s last Australian film before heading to Hollywood.  It would be another 17 years before he would make another Australian film (“The Water Diviner”), which he also directed.
9 Fathers & Daughters 2015 Amanda Seyfried is the repeat offender in this film.  She starred with Crowe in “Les Miserables.”
10 Proof of Life 2000 Of all the Crowe films, this film is the most difficult to stomach.  It is because of what happened off screen.  Meg Ryan, Hollywood’s darling, starred in this film post-Gladiator with Crowe.  They started an affair, which led to her divorce from Dennis Quaid.  She lost a lot of love from the public because of this.  This movie was the beginning of her demise.  She was rarely cast after this movie.  She recently came out with the film “Ithaca,” making her directorial debut.  Compared to Crowe, after this film, she has starred in only 10 films to Crowe’s 25 films in the same time period.
11 The Quick and the Dead 1995 This film was Crowe’s introduction into Hollywood.  Repeat Offenders: Keith David (“The Nice Guys”) and Leonardo DiCaprio (“Body of Lies”).
12 Cinderella Man 2005 “Cinderella Man” marks the second collaboration between Crowe and director Ron Howard (“A Beautiful Mind”).
13 The Insider 1999 This film displays Crowe’s acting talent at its finest.  Of all the films he has made, this is the one he should have won an Oscar for.  He was nominated for an Oscar for best actor, but that statue went to his “LA Confidential” co-star Kevin Spacey for “American Beauty.”  “The Insider” received multiple nominations, but “American Beauty” dominated that year, and rightly so.
14 Robin Hood 2010 The bromance in this film is real.  Scott Grimes and Kevin Durand (his “Mystery, Alaska” buddies) reunite in this film.  These guys appear in a lot of films together.  The bromance is real.  Ridley Scott also directed this film.  This is the most current of the collaborations between the two.
15 Winter’s Tale 2014 Continuing the “Robin Hood” bromance, both Kevin Durand and Scott Grimes make small appearances in this film.  Jennifer Connelly also appears.
16 The Man With the Iron Fists 2012 RZA is the repeat offender in this film.  RZA both directed, wrote and starred in this film.  RZA appeared in “The Next Three Days” with Crowe.
17 State of Play 2009
18 The Nice Guys 2016 Probably one of the craziest films Crowe has ever made.  He’s found a new bromance with Ryan Gosling.  Gosling had Crowe breaking character and laughing so much, the director told Gosling that if he made Crowe laugh again, he would charge him $5 every time he broke character.  Repeat Offenders: Kim Basinger and Keith David.
19 Les Miserables 2012 This is the first time the two Australian Hollywood powerhouses would star together in a film.  Hugh Jackman takes the lead alongside Crowe for the first time.  Many people did not know that Crowe is a singer.  He has traveled around the world with his band over the last 20+ years and has a few albums out.  This film would make Amanda Seyfried into a repeat offender.  Anne Hathaway won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.
20 Body of Lies 2008 Repeat Offender: Leonardo DiCaprio.
21 Master and Commander 2003 Repeat Offender: Paul Bettany.  This bromance is one of the favorites among the public.
22 Man of Steel 2013 18 years prior to making this film, Crowe starred in “No Way Back” with the original Supergirl.  Crowe has pitched the idea around in the media that he would like to reprise his role of Jor-El in a prequel.
23 American Gangster 2007 Another Ridley Scott film.  The repeat offender is none other than Denzel Washington himself.
24 The Next Three Days 2010 RZA’s small role in this film with Crowe would lead to “The Man With the Iron Fists.”
25 The Republic of Doyle (3.1) 2012 The bromance reappears in this Canadian TV show.  Crowe, Grimes and Durand star together in this episode.  Stupidity ensues in the form of the Three Stooges.
26 Virtuousity 1995 Once upon a time, Crowe used to get naked in his movies.  This is one of those films.  This film also stars Denzel Washington.  12 years later, they would reunite in “American Gangster.”
27 Romper Stomper 1992 This is the movie that paved the way for Crowe into Hollywood and would explain why he was perfect for his role in “LA Confidential.”  This film is very difficult to watch, so be forewarned.  The neo-Nazi violence against Asians is tough to see.  [I had to take a break from the binge because of how disturbed I was from the violence.]
28 The Silver Brumby (Stallion) 1993 This is one of the most beautiful and scenic movies you’ll ever see of Australia.  Just breathtaking.
29 LA Confidential 1997 One of the most beloved and best movies ever made.  Crowe’s role and his character’s anger is reminiscent of his role in “Romper Stomper.”  You can see how perfect this role was for him.  Kim Basinger would appear 19 years later in “The Nice Guys” as a repeat offender.
30 Red Obsession 2014 “A Good Year” is a great prelude to this film which discusses the wine industry, more importantly the wine industry in China.  This film is not listed in Crowe’s IMDb.  He is the narrator of this film.
31 Bra Boys 2007 This film is not listed in Crowe’s IMDb.  He appears as the narrator in this documentary of the Bra Boys in Australia.
32 Tenderness 2009 This is one of the strangest films ever, especially for Crowe.  [At the end of this film, I literally sat there going…”I have no idea what just happened.”]
33 Proof 1991 Hugo Weaving stars in this film with Crowe about a friendship between a young man and a blind guy.  Crowe does get naked.
34 No Way Back 1995 As a foreshadowing of things to come, Helen Slater, the original “Supergirl,” stars in this film with Crowe.  Crowe would later play Jor-El in “Man of Steel.”
35 Brides of Christ (TV series) 1991 This TV mini-series stars a young Naomi Watts.  Crowe appears in a few episodes.  This series is mainly about Catholic nuns at a school and the ethical challenges they face in a modern society.
36 Breaking Up 1997 Stars the beautiful Salma Hayek.  This movie is basically about a couple that fights all of the time, but then have amazing makeup sex afterward.  That is the movie in a nutshell.
37 Mystery, Alaska 1999 This was the beginning of the bromance between Scott Grimes and Kevin Durand.  For the next 15+ years, these three would star in one movie after another after another.  They are the current day Larry, Moe and Curly…after you see Republic of Doyle, you’ll get that.  Crowe = Moe.  Grimes = Curly.  Durand = Larry.





Not all of Crowe’s movies were easy to find.  There were nine films I was not able to get my hands on and that may have more to do with the fact that it was made in Australia in the early 1990s.  Most of the films are still on VHS or not able to be used on USA machines.  Many of the films have not been transposed to DVD or digital.  While I have seen “The Crossing,” that was 15 years ago and it was on VHS.  I have not seen a digital or DVD version of that movie  made available.  The VHS tape alone fetches for over $80 because of its scarcity.

Movies Hard to Find
1 Prisoners of the Sun 1990 George Takei stars.
2 The Crossing 1990 This is the movie where Crowe met and fell in love with Danielle Spencer.  They would later marry and have two sons.  They are currently divorced.  This movie doesn’t appear to have been transferred to DVD or digital, so it will be difficult to find unless you have a VHS player.
3 The Efficiency Expert 1992 Stars Anthony Hopkins.
4 Hammers Over the Anvil 1993
5 Love in Limbo 1993
6 For the Moment 1993
7 The Sum of Us 1994
8 Rough Magic 1995 Stars Bridget Fonda and Jim Broadbent.
9 The Spell of the Yukon 1996 He is the narrator in this short.




The Reason for the Russell Crowe Binge on Twitter

RC1
If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I am doing a Russell Crowe movie binge.  I have not revealed why.  I keep promising to reveal why on the site and today is your lucky day!

[DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read may weird you out a little, because this is something different.  The people that know me or are close to me can testify to the fact that I am different.  As my Muslim friends say, I am not weird or crazy.  I am special in a unique way.  

As you read through this, bear in mind that in the Old Testament there are stories of people that spoke of dreams where God has spoken to them to reveal a prophecy or to deliver special messages.  The Bible speaks of people speaking in tongues or seeing angels…even talking to God.  If you are Muslim, Jew or Christian, you believe these stories.  

To say that it does not continue to exist today and it only existed thousands of years ago, you do not know God.  God never stopped talking to his people.  Today, there are many people out there that are listening to God and speaking with him.  

My understanding of God and the universe is a little more elevated than conventional religions.  For Muslims and Christians who have heard me speak about God, they have always noticed how I reference their beliefs, but explain the way that things should be.  It is more elevated in understanding, and it always rings inside their heart as being God’s truth.  

As one friend explained to me, there are times I speak about God and the universe in such a way that he does not understand.  Even though he does not understand it, what I say rings in his heart as being the truth.  Some time will pass and he will be going about his business when something will happen to him and then he will recount the words I said to him.  That is when he says to himself, “That is what she was talking about!”  

He told me that I’m on a much higher plane of understanding than he is.  He is just trying to get there.  

This higher plane of understanding…that is what I am going to be discussing today.  It is much easier for people to hear my voice when I describe these things, because oftentimes, seeing is believing.  To hear someone’s voice as they tell you this story is much more powerful than just reading their story.  It’s their voice that strikes the chord within your heart that what this person is saying is true.  Even if you don’t understand it, you will eventually.]


The Crowe Binge is Really About the Novel

On this site, I have been talking a lot about the novel I am currently working on.  The book is about a dream I had last month that was so prolific that I had to share it.  I saw the dream from beginning to end.  The story was just so incredible, I had to bring it to life and share the story with the world.

Who was the lead character in the dream?  Russell Crowe.

Before you go thinking that I’m having some prolific and awesome dreams about Russell Crowe, note that I said ‘lead character.’  That means that he’s playing the role of the actual person and it’s not really about Russell Crowe.  In other words, the dream plays out like a movie and Crowe is just an actor in the dreamlike movie playing the role of an actual person.

For some odd reason, when God is trying to explain something to me, he uses Russell Crowe in the story to explain it.  For the last three years, if Crowe appears in the dream, that means it is a message to explain something going on in my life or something that will happen in my life (aka prophetic dreams).

These dreams play out from beginning to end.  I see and feel what every character is thinking and feeling.  I see all of the fate lines as they interact and intersect with each person in the dream, and I understand the meaning of it all in the grander scheme of things (i.e. from God’s point of view).


When God speaks, he is speaking a million things all at once.  That is the way the universe operates. There is not just one single thing happening in the universe at that very moment, there are many things happening across the universe instantaneously. So when God is explaining one situation, there are many things involved beyond just the story.  There is the greater message, which is God’s message, and that message is oftentimes lost in the story. It is his message that is the most important part of the story because it explains everything.  It truly explains the story of your life.

A lot of times Crowe’s appearance is a mixed bag.  He’s playing the role of everyone the story is about.  He’s me.  He’s the guy in question.  He’s the good guy, the bad guy, the clueless guy and the guy that gets his heart trampled on and can’t figure out why it happened.

In this story though, he’s playing the role of the guy this story is really about (an actual person that exists).  I decided to call the book “The Death Between Us.”  If you’ve followed along with what’s happened to me over these last 3 years, you’ll understand why I chose that title.   There are even some elements that go back to when I was at the Vatican in 2012 and what transpired after that.  Death himself plays a prominent role in this book and it is not in a way you could ever imagine.

The Vatican – July 2012

Let me take you back to a day in my life – July 2012.  I am in Rome, Italy and I’ve decided to go to St. Peter’s Basilica.  I leave the hotel, pick up a few slices of pizza, jump on the subway and head to St. Peter’s Basilica.

I’m tired, because I know my cancer has returned, but I refuse to go to the doctors because I am not ready to go through another year of testing. It’s the testing that’s the worst part.


I get through security in Vatican City and decide to sit down at the obelisk and share my lunch with the birds.  After lunch, I head into St. Peter’s Basilica, wearing a long black dress and a red Valentino scarf wrapped around my head to hide my hair as a matter of respect to the church.  [I’m not even Christian.]

I start looking around, photographing the church, reading the walls.  The marble floors are really weighing down on my body, sucking the energy out of me.  I notice there’s a prayer room, so I pretend like I’m going to go in and pray just so I can sit down in one of the pews for a while.

This is where I confess that I can do something that most people can’t do.  I can push thoughts into people’s head.  When you meditate as much as I do, it awakens parts of your mind and allows you to use parts of your brain that most people do not use.  There are a lot of people who meditate regularly that can do this.  These are sort of ‘powers’ that come when you have a deep understanding and relationship with God.  There are many nuns that I know that have this same ability.

Also, another ‘power’ I have is the ability to see with my mind’s eye things that spiritually cannot be seen with the naked eye.  It’s the same kind of ‘power’ where when I’m interviewing someone and they are saying one thing, I hear something else.  It is that something else that scares them, because if I print it, it could be bad.  As I’ve learned from Ilya Kovalchuk, I am 100% correct in what I see in their mind and that scares them (i.e. hockey players).

At any rate, I’m not Catholic and I’m definitely not Christian, so I decided to eavesdrop on what the nuns were praying about.  I pushed myself into the eldest nun’s mind and saw her praying for the souls of man that they would find their way to God.  So I pushed the answer into her mind on how that should be accomplished.  Another nun was visiting from another country. She was praying for funds so that her church would not close.  I looked around me in this room filled with opulence and just shook my head.  The Vatican has vast sources of money.  They are rich beyond belief and they cannot share the wealth with their flock and churches?  Come on now.


That’s when I heard the giggle.  I immediately looked up and saw two angels sitting up near the top of the ceiling.  They were listening to the prayers and laughing at the people below, having a grand time.  That’s when they noticed me.  One of them said, “I can’t believe she’s here.  Of all places!”  The one angel stopped the other and said, “Don’t you know she can hear you?”  They left out the window, with one looking back at me as he left…like he was getting ready to run and tell on me for stepping foot in what I believe to be…well, I don’t want to make you mad so I won’t share what I truly think of places of worship.

I stayed in the prayer room a little longer listening to people’s prayers, pushing thoughts into their mind to help them find the answer to their prayers.  I even bestowed blessings upon people.

When I felt like my body could handle touring the Vatican again, I got up.  I walked out of the prayer room, passed the nun at the admittance area, and just felt this weight on my body, pulling me down.  I leaned up against one of the columns and sat down.  It was unreal how difficult of a time my body was having.  It felt like life was being sucked right out of me.

A couple of tourists took it upon themselves to sit down next to me against the column.  A guard came running up and told them to get up.  They couldn’t sit there.  He looked at me and said, “You, you are okay.  You can sit there.  Just rest.”


As I was sitting there, I saw an Asian priest hurriedly walking through the Basilica.  I was astonished.  I’d never seen an Asian priest before.  So I decided to get up and follow him.  I wanted to see how far I could get into the Vatican before I was stopped.

I followed him to the back of the Basilica and then stopped dead in my tracks.

Imagine standing in front of Death’s Door (this really exists at St. Peter’s Basilica) and realizing what is happening in that very moment that transcends human understanding.  You are standing in Death’s throne room and he knows you are there.

When I realized what was going on, I started to bolt out of St. Peter’s.  Then I turned back around, because I wasn’t sure.  I took out my camera and started photographing Death’s Door.  I needed proof that what I was seeing was what I was really seeing.  [I’m telling you right now, not a single photograph came out.  Not a single one.]

Then I saw him form next to Death’s Door.  That was when I bolted for the front door.

Death himself followed me all the way to the front door, telling me a million things all at once (like God does).  I looked around me as I made my way to the front door.  I came to understand the fallacy of the Christian religion.  He told me that they had no idea what they were doing by worshiping the dead.  It gave him power and that was wrong.  They had no idea how wrong they were.  It was not the way things were supposed to be.  It was disrespectful to God to give Death so much power by worshiping and praying to the dead.

I hadn’t noticed before while I was touring the Basilica, but there were dead popes all over the place and people were bowing down and praying to their corpses!


When I got to the front door, he told me I had to clean out my soul before it was too late.  I took one step out the front door and I saw the guy that had hurt me worse than anyone had ever hurt me in my lifetime standing there on the other side of the gate.  Of all the fucking places to run into him, I run into him at the  Vatican in Italy.

I turned around and went back into the Basilica, thinking ‘What the Fuck?’  I had a choice.  I could either run again or face my fears.  I remembered when I was a kid, how I used to get up on the high dive, scared to death.  I would stand at the edge and say to myself, just get it over with and jump.  So I jumped.

I decided, if God put this guy here at the Vatican at the exact same time as me, it was time to talk to him. So I went back outside, ready to talk to him.  He was standing there on the other side of the gates, looking right at me.  A woman called from behind him and he turned his head.  Then like seeing a haze lift, I saw that it wasn’t him.  It wasn’t him at all.

I was so confused, I looked back towards the entrance to the Basilica and Death was standing there.  He said, “Now you understand.”

What he was talking about was that I needed to forgive that guy for hurting me worse than anyone has ever hurt me and forgive myself for hurting him by walking away.  Death wasn’t there to scare me.  He was there to help me.  He told me there are certain things you do not want to carry with you when you die.  He had dug down deep into the bottom of my soul for that one.


He didn’t pick the guy that killed himself.  He didn’t pick the soured relationship between me and my family.  He chose him.  I had to forgive him and myself for what happened.  This was something I should not take with me in my soul when I die.  It was a story that should never be repeated in any lifetime.

I was so exhausted from what had transpired, I sat down on the steps outside of the Basilica.  Once again, the tourists took it upon themselves to take liberty and sit next to me.  The guards came running over telling everyone to get up and leave…EXCEPT me.  The guard told me I was fine.  I could sit in the shade if I wanted to.  There were 3 different guards that relayed that exact same message every single time tourists sat down next to me.

This is why I love the Catholics.  They’re so nice.


I Speak in Tongues

 

The next day, I headed to Sorrento.  I was sitting in a cafe when this old gypsy woman approached me asking for donations.  I gave her 20 euros.   She thanked me and then did a double take.  She crossed herself a few times and immediately headed out of the cafe.  She kept looking back at me a little scared.

She came back 15 minutes later with all of these charms and pictures of saints.  She told me in Italian, “Death is following you.”  I responded, “I know.”

She gave me the charms to help ward him off and explained what I should do to help keep Death at bay.  I know college level first year Italian.  My professor claimed that I was such a native speaker she thought I was lying when I said I didn’t know Italian prior to taking her class…and she was an Italian.  [My Russian professor said the same thing about my Russian.]  How I was able to communicate with this woman in Italian for a good 20 minutes, I have no idea.  My Muslim friends tell me that every now and again I speak in Arabic to them.  I don’t know Arabic except for a few choice words.

A friend of mine even witnessed me talking to a Palestinian woman in Arabic on the subway one time.  When the lady left me, I blessed her and my friend and I went on our way.  She said, “I had no idea you knew Arabic.”  I replied, “I don’t.”  She thought I was messing with her.  I said, “Honestly, I don’t.”


She looked at me strange and said, “But I just witnessed you talking to her in Arabic.”  I shrugged my shoulders and said, “She was telling me about her husband and how he had died in a bomb attack.  They were sleeping when it hit the house and instantly killed him.  She’s on her way to her in-laws in Queens.”

She told me that the conversation was not in English (like I thought it was).  It was completely in Arabic.

[I believe this would be the equivalent to a modern day ‘speaking in tongues.’  To me, I hear what the soul is saying.  The soul speaks a universal language.  It is the same language no matter what language you speak.  I may think I’m speaking in English to someone, but I’m really talking to their soul, so somehow it translates into the correct language.  Which means that if you are speaking in a foreign language around me, chances are high I understand everything you are saying and can respond in your language.]

So back to the Italian gypsy lady.  She told me Death was following me.  I knew he was because I could feel him.  St. Peter’s Basilica is Death’s Throne Room.  That feeling like the life was being sucked right out of me…that was my spiritual side feeling Death himself nearby.

He followed me all over Italy that next week and then continued to follow me around until October 22, 2013.  During that time, I came to terms with Death.  I learned he was not to be feared.  He was a friend.  He was an uncle that cared about what was happening to me.


The Cancer

I knew the cancer had returned.  I could feel it back then at the Vatican, but I refused to go and see the doctor because in 2008-2009 I spent the entire year going through medical testing, looking for the cancer.  The signs were there.  We just had to wait and see where it would appear.  I also had surgery in 2008 and there were complications post-op.  The doctors were trying to figure out what happened.  The cancer was awakened thanks to that surgery.

After a year of medical testing, I couldn’t do it anymore.  I was just too tired to keep doing it with no results.  We were playing the waiting game.  We were waiting to see where the cancer would show up.

In 2013, I returned to hockey writing and I was mad as hell.  In my meditation, I yelled at God for that broken heart associated with giving up on a dream.  He kept telling me I needed to see a doctor.  There was something wrong.  It wasn’t something I could fix.  Only a doctor could fix it.  He told me that during every single meditation.

By June, he had to scream it in my head during a meditation, so I booked an appointment to see my doctor.  I told her exactly what the meditation was saying.  I said to her in the exam room, “God told me in my meditation that there is something wrong with me.  It is not something I can fix.  Only a doctor can fix it.”  She put what I said into the computer system, probably thinking me delusional and to circle back on that later.  She told me to just go workout, start a diet, blah blah blah.  Everything was okay.


Then the blood tests came back.  The result: they found the tumor.

With each doctor I went to at Roosevelt after that, they all asked me again and again, “How did you know?”  It’s like they had to hear me say it in order for them to believe it.  Science isn’t meant to disprove that God does not exist…it is also meant to prove that God does exist.

During the final stages of my testing, the first doctor I saw during my nuclear testing asked me how I knew.  I repeated the exact same words.  “God said there is something wrong with me.  It is not something I can fix.  Only a doctor can fix it.”  That doctor did not just want to hear me say it once.  She needed to hear me say it again, just to make sure I was not crazy.

With each nuclear test I took that day, each doctor asked me how I knew.  I repeated the same thing.  In one of the longest part of the tests, the doctor ran out of the room to get the chief doctor to look at my tests.  They were also talking about what I had said.  I could hear one of them say, “There is no way she could have known about this.”

The technician sat there in the nuclear science lab with me looking at the screen, he turned to me and asked me (because he had heard the other doctors talking about it), “How did you know?  There are no signs for this type of cancer.  How did you know?”

I repeated the exact same words to him.  I explained that the symptoms I was having could have been easily diagnosed as something simple like plantar’s fasciitis, or how I needed to workout more, etc.  The blood test was what told us the tumor was there.


The technician sat there looking at me in disbelief.  He was an Indian man.  He told me that in his culture, they believe this stuff, but this was the first time in his life that he had ever witnessed someone say something like this and it ended up being completely accurate.  There was something wrong with me.  It was not something I could fix, only a doctor could.

How many men of science do you think changed their mind about God’s existence after meeting me that day?


Death Follows Me

I came to realize that what happened at St. Peter’s Basilica in front of Death’s Door had an even bigger meaning.  I wasn’t just figuratively standing before Death’s Door, I was literally at death’s door and he had taken an interest in me that day.  He followed me everywhere I went and I could feel him.

Over those two months of testing, the doctors told me to prepare for the worst.  So I did.  I got my affairs in order and on October 22, 2013, I walked into Roosevelt Hospital hoping that I’d live through this.  I had said a prayer that morning when I arose.  I asked God to let me live. If he were to let me live, my entire existence would be to live by his will.  I would do what I was supposed to do (which is to complete the novels).

As I lie in the bed in the prep room, the team of doctors came in to talk to me to explain everything to me all the way down to explaining how they were filling my body with Gatorade (no joke).  At one point, they left.  I lay there waiting when I felt Death standing at the edge of my bed.  He was happy and told me that he wasn’t there for me that day.  He was there for someone else down the hall.  “Surprise, you’re going to live!”


I have to say, the weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  After the surgery, when I realized I was dreaming, I did a whole, “Fuck.  I’m alive.”  I heard a beeping noise and a nurse yelling at me to breathe.  She told me to just concentrate on breathing.  Deep breaths in and out.

I tried to come out of my haze and focus on my breathing.  I saw Death standing there smiling saying, “See, I told you that you would live.”  He then went on to explain to me that I was on borrowed time.

The Borrowed Time & the Storyline

That ‘borrowed time’ became prevalent in this dream I had last month.  According to the dream, Death had taken pity on me and did something he wasn’t supposed to do.  He gave me time…time to do what I was supposed to do…to make the dreams come true.

This is why the book is called “The Death Between Us.”  This is truly about Death’s vested interest in giving me that borrowed time and what it all means.

Crowe’s role in the dream was not Death.  He played the guy who loses the woman he loves.  Death is the evil nemesis that steals from him the woman he loves.  Death becomes the lover and the one that wipes her memories from her, so she would not only forget who she was, but forget who this man was and how she felt about him.  Death is the one that causes the ultimate heart break.

So this whole Russell Crowe binge is about making sure that I continuously see the main character in my mind.  Seeing the actor from the dream pushes me to keep on writing, because I am constantly thinking about the story.


One thing I would like is for all of my books to turn into movies.  The books in my head are based on those prolific dreams I’ve had.  Oddly enough, Crowe was in every single one of those dreams I’m writing about.  Like I said, God likes to use Crowe as my spirit guide in my dreams.  I’m not complaining.  He’s nice to look at.  Just saying.

I think perhaps the ultimate reason why Crowe plays out in every story is because if and when these books turn into films, perhaps Crowe will take an interest and be in every single one of these films.  I mean, how many authors can say that when they wrote their books, Crowe was the main person in mind to play the lead male character?  The character looks like him (something to keep in mind if you ever read the novels).

As for this particular story, I am not going to reveal who the actual person is that this story is really about.  That is for him to choose to pick up the book and read it, if and when he is ready.  This book is about his heart break.  This is my way of explaining to him why his heart breaking was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.  What happened on October 22, 2013 made me forget who he was.  When the memories returned, those feelings I had for him never returned.

It is hard watching someone’s heart break in front of you because he knows you no longer love him.  This book is being written for him to understand that there was something much greater going on in the universe and it was not within his control.  This is about learning to let her go.

****

I bet never in a million years did you ever expect me to say that the reason for the Russell Crowe binge was because of this.  Now you know.  It’s about the novel.


Make Everyone Happy: Remembering Gene Wilder

wilderYesterday, we lost Gene Wilder.  He was 83 years old when he passed away.

For many people, he brought laughter and many smiles that reached down deep into the very heart of mankind.  He touched our souls and filled it with happiness.  His character, Willy Wonka, became a part of that very fond story every child remembers from their childhood.

Depending on when you were born and your first Wilder movie, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The World’s Greatest Lover, or Stir Crazy, they became the movies you fondly remember of Gene Wilder.  Whichever movie is the movie that made you laugh in wonder for the very first time, that laughter and happiness is what he carries with him as his soul goes forward.

Gene Wilder’s movies, just like Robin Williams’ movies, were very much a part of my childhood.  They created movies in a new way, creating fond memories that people still hold close to their hearts.  Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor were my modern day childhood version of Bing Crosby and Jerry Lewis and the legendary team of Abbott and Costello (and yes, I saw all of these films as a kid).

Losing Gene Wilder brings great sorrow to my heart.  I plan on binging on his movies after I finish my current binge.

[For those with DirecTV and cable, you’ll find many of his movies available for free On Demand.  Movie channels are also notorious for changing their programming to allow people to binge watch an actor’s movies after they have passed away (and on the anniversary of their death if they were popular and missed – like Robin Williams).  You can also binge watch his films on Netflix and Amazon Prime.  If you can’t find it there, dust off your library card and check the movies out for free at your local library.]


I’m In Heaven

While I was walking to the library last night, I was thinking about Gene Wilder and how sad I was that he was no longer with us.   Then I heard Louis Armstrong singing “I’m in heaven.”  I could envision Wilder singing and dancing around, happy as a lamb in that tuxedo from Young Frankenstein.  It made me smile.  He’s in a very happy place, so no one should be sad for him.

On the way home from the library, I heard the song again.  Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing “I’m in heaven,” from “Cheek to Cheek.”  Those were the only lyrics that kept playing over and over again: “I’m in heaven.”  There were no other words from the song, just “I’m in heaven” again and again.


Knowing how strange that was and for it to happen twice, I brought it up in my meditation last night.  What was explained was this…this is how you do life correctly.  If you want to make a lasting impact on your own life and be rewarded in the afterlife, you create happiness for others.  You want people speaking wonderful things about you when you die, so give them something to be happy about.  Impact their lives with happiness.  That is the goal everyone should have: to create everlasting happiness in the world.

That is what Gene Wilder did.  In the letter his nephew wrote, he spoke of when Gene was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, he did not want the world to know so that when children would see Willy Wonka, it would not be filled with sadness when parents had to explain what had happened to him.  He wanted that pure innocence and joy of seeing Willy Wonka to be something amazing for the children and not marked with sadness by his illness.  He did not want to scar this incredible moment for the child because a parent would have to explain to them about the illness, thus creating a sad moment instead of a happy moment.


He wanted the kids to be happy when they saw him.

That is the most important thing about life: to make others happy.  Make them laugh.  Let your legacy be about the happiness you brought to others so that when it is your time to depart this life, the world will be speaking wonders of how happy you made them.

What Gene Wilder brought to the world was laughter and happiness.  That’s the way the world sent him off, with happy blessings for all of the happiness he brought to them.  That is the key ingredient to having a blissful afterlife.  Ask yourself: How did you make the world feel about your existence here?


Making People Happy Long After You Are Gone

The Moroccans tell a tale from 1927 of an American woman who loved animals. She was appalled at the working conditions of the animals there, so she created an animal hospital (called the American Fondouk (fondouk means ‘inn’)) in Fez, Morocco.  There, any working animal can be treated for its ailments for free.  For those with pets, they have to pay a fee for their care.  [Since donkeys and horses are essential to the work people do in Morocco, to lose an animal could mean loss of income.  If you can afford to have a pet, then you should be able to pay for its care.]  MORE ON THAT STORY.

It is her kindness, that decades after her death, is still remembered.  They still speak praises of her and what she did for the people there.  Her good works continue long after her passing.  Her family may have forgotten her, but the people of Morocco remember her for the good she brought to them and continues to bring to them.


Live Life Miraculously

You want to live life miraculously?  Make your life story about what you did for others.  Let the world remember you for the great things you did to uplift them.

For Gene Wilder, he brought the world happiness.  He left this world hearing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  I’m sure he’s happily dancing and singing his way through the corridors of heaven.  The world remembers how happy he made them.  That’s the way we should all leave this world, letting the world remember how happy we made them.  Our world is better for it.  That is the obligation we owe to this gift called life.  Repay the kindness of this gift of life by doing something extraordinarily good for the world.


This is 40: Realizing Your Dreams, Making Positive Changes to Your Life

Michelle Kenneth
When I captioned this photo on Instagram, I coined this as “This is 40” lamenting over how I was trying to find the right photo. This was my first time sitting in front of the camera, just a month after turning 40. The most important part of this photo isn’t the person sitting in it. The caption included “That Reed Krakoff bag is everything.” When my friend read the caption, she bursted out laughing proclaiming, “That is so you!”

Last month, I turned 40.  Like most major milestones in life, it gives you an opportunity to reflect on life thus far. What are the things you still want out of life?  What dreams are yet to be realized?  What parts of your life make you happy?  Where do you want your focus on life to be?  What things about yourself can you do better?  What things about yourself do you want to change?

These are the questions I ask myself.  The result is that I am going to mix life up a bit.  I want to become someone different in my 40s.  I want to achieve every dream and every goal I’ve ever set for myself.  I want to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.




The Novelist

For years, I struggled with switching gears from being just a hockey columnist and a blogger to becoming a novelist.  That’s what I always wanted to be…a novelist.  I did not want to be known as a hockey writer or a blogger, but those are the roles I took on as I began my journey to becoming a novelist.  I put in the time to make myself legit before approaching publishers.

When I first started blogging and writing for Inside Hockey, I did not want to be some nobody that publishers had never even heard of.  I wanted to be someone they could easily Google and find many years worth of my writing.  I got their attention last year when I introduced myself around.  By year end, two publishers requested submissions.  I didn’t have anything to give them but a few chapters here and there, so I didn’t submit anything.

But there’s more to it than just having a few chapters on hand…




Before I could make the leap to becoming a novelist, I had to first conquer my own self-doubt and fears.  It is scary to make a leap like this…to realize a dream.  It’s new territory.   I was reading just yesterday how Ty Alexander (Gorgeous in Grey) finished her first book, and she was Scared AF!

All of her fears were the same fears I had: that fear that when you put yourself out there, the world thinks you’re just not good enough.  Could I put my heart and soul into this and then have the world rip it apart saying it was a piece of crap?  That is the fear I’m talking about, the true fear of being a complete failure and the entire world thinks that is what you are.

Reading Ty’s honest post about that fear made me realize it came at a good time.  I began writing my novel a few weeks ago and then stopped.  Elements like lack of sleep and an illness became reasons I put off going back to the book.  I won’t even tell you how much money I spent to avoid doing what I really want to do which is MAKE THE DREAM COME TRUE.

Do not think just because I do not spend every morning writing that I’m not working on the book.  I am still building the characters, researching different elements to add to the story to make each character better.  I am always thinking about the story, adding new elements each day to make the story more complete.  There is a lot that goes into a well thought out book beyond just sitting down and telling a story.  That is the first draft.  The next draft is where you fill in the gaps.




Storytelling Dreams

This book (as well as all of the future ones) are based on very prolific dreams from over the years which include a much deeper meaning.  They are stories that are embedded in my soul that have caused me anguish, strife, love, forgiveness, sorrow, insanity, hope and understanding.

Matthew Lucifer (aka fur monster).
Matthew Lucifer (aka fur monster).

The scariest thing about writing is that when I write, my mind is living in that story at that very moment.  There are tears shed, heartbreaks, angry moments, even a loss of understanding…all of those things are happening at once.  If it was not for Matthew Lucifer getting in my face every hour to take a 5-minute break, I would have a hard time divorcing myself from reality and the story.

My goal is to stop writing at 6PM. This is a mandatory thing.  It is my way of stepping away from the story to focus on reality, play with the little dude and take my mind off of the story.  The mind always needs a mental break when you become so entranced in the story you are writing.




Changing Who I Am on the Inside

I don’t know what it was about turning 40 that made me look at life differently, but turning 40 made me think of all the things I wanted out of life as far as the woman I wanted to be.

I changed my diet completely.  I decided to go Whole 30/paleo.  It is so restrictive with eating only meat, vegetables, fruits and nuts (no peanuts…that got me a few times).  Instead of drinking 3-4 cups of coffee a day, I’m down to one cup of black coffee before noon.  No more soy milk for my coffee.  [When I started writing this post, I was two weeks into Whole 30.  I got sick on Saturday, so I had to get off the diet because my medication has sugar in it.  I still try to focus on eating well, but because of the sugar, I’m off the diet until the illness is gone and I can take the sugar back out of my diet again.  Cough drops and NyQuil have sugar in it!]

Because of that coffee rule, I’m drinking a whole lot more water than I ever had before (which is also good).  I am sleeping through the night (with the exception of the fur monster waking me up at 3AM for breakfast).




Changing Who I Am On the Outside

In the evenings, I established a new nightly beauty routine doing what most women do:  1. Wash my face, 2. Brush/floss my teeth. 3. Put on night creams.

If you are a woman reading this, you probably already do that.  I never did.  This stuff was not drilled into my brain during my youth, because my mom, being a foreigner, did not know about these daily rituals until she became older and assimilated into the Western culture.

I changed my wardrobe and became more daring.  My friends loved all the new looks.  One told me that 99.9999% of the time, everything I wear is spot on (and she does not say that about anybody). I definitely upped my game.

I think the biggest surprise for everyone is that I’m wearing more than just powder, eye shadow and gloss now.  I’m actually wearing eyeliner, mascara and lipstick.  Talk about shocking everybody.




I bought all new makeup and beauty care products (I had a massive purge earlier this year when I KonMari’d the entire makeup collection and left basically nothing).  I got an education on makeup beyond the everyday basics.

My friends are pleasantly surprised at how I upped my makeup game.  Next up is getting my nails done (instead of cutting them down), going for waxings more often, hair coloring/styling…the WHOLE 40 MAKEOVER.

One of my friends was so impressed with everything so far, she told me this would be a perfect thing to share on the blog.  I should give everyone a little peek inside my inner world and what I’m doing during the “This Is 40.”

Which brings me to the new photographs…




Getting Back In Front of the Camera

Michelle Kenneth
Me with Matthew Lucifer. Wearing Reed Krakoff.

Turning 40 created a lot of positive changes in my life.  40 is beautiful.  I kicked this new decade off by finally sitting in front of the camera for the first time in 5 years to photograph what I look like now at 40.

What happened after that?  Well, the compliments came flooding in.  I got more followers.  A retailer whose clothes/accessories I was wearing asked for permission to post the photos on their website…all of the photos.

I showed the photos to my friend and she just looked at me in disbelief.  She asked me, “What took you so long to photograph yourself?”  She just could not believe it took me this long to get in front of the camera again.



Many photographers have a very difficult time getting back in front of the camera after spending so many years behind it.  You are accustomed to being behind the lens, showing the world the beauty you see.  It is very weird for us to want to get back in front of the camera after spending so many years behind it.

My friend told me I should approach getting in front of the camera in a different light.  This is about letting people get a sneak peek into my world.  It is not about showing you everything going on at every second of my life, it’s about letting you get a glimpse inside my world…the world that my friends see.




What is Changing?

What I do not share are the ball gowns, the couture handbags, the clothes and the jewelry.  That is what is going to change.  There is that side of me, but there is also the creative side with crafts, the books I am reading, the fun ‘paper products’ I buy (I love beautiful paper products), and the new outfits I come up with mixing up hi-lo ends.

Just yesterday, we were discussing a look I was going to try next: socks with sandals.  As I was perusing Net-a-Porter, I came across a pair of Miu Mius I loved.  It wasn’t just the Miu Mius.  Net-a-Porter paired the Miu Mius with two outfits I loved.  The whole look alone (each one) was about $10,000.  In that moment, I was like…I bet I can find something very similar at ASOS.

I completed a similar look, plus purchased two pairs of socks and two pairs of the identical Miu Miu shoes for a total of $280.  My friend got a good laugh out of that.  She was absolutely impressed.


To define the way I dress, it’s not always designer labels from head to toe. I can go into any store and make something work with the collection I already have.  I have the couture items that make up the hi-end, but I also have the everyday items that make up the lo-end.

My friend was so impressed with the look I created, she told me that’s what I should do next on the site.  I should show people how I mix and match hi-lo end pieces or how I take a look that I really like and get the entire look for a much better price.  Oftentimes, I can even find the same designer and the same item for a much cheaper price.


In Conclusion

This is the side of me my friends see and believe I should share with the site.  From the new handbag every week to the new looks I’ve put together, this is the glimpse they want me to share, especially the fun crafty stuff that they got me addicted to.

They also want me to start talking about life at 40 and the changes I made, including sharing my beauty and clothing finds, because that’s what girls like to read.  I will be in front of the camera more often, not behind it all of the time.  I will share the things I’m doing and working on more often, because simply put…it is kind of cool.

My summer is coming to an end and with that, the social calendar picks up.  It is nice to take the summer off and just focus on me, thinking over what I want out of life and the positive changes I want to make for myself.

You will see a lot of changes coming up on the site and on social media as I share my 40s with all of you.  To put it simply, I am being more daring.

xxoo,

Michelle




When the Universe Winks Back at You

That's just the universe winking back at you
Have you ever noticed when you are living your dreams, things start to work out more magically than they ever did before?  It is as if the universe is conspiring to help you along on your journey.  It brings circumstances and people to you that help you benefit in your endeavors.  They are all heavenly tools designed to help you along your journey in becoming your true self.

When you are living your dreams, you start to notice how your world is changing.  You are becoming the person you always dreamed you would be.

But be careful, because you’ll feel a lot of self-doubt along the way.  You’ll question yourself and if you’re doing the right thing.  In religion, we say that’s the devil talking to you, trying to stop you from becoming the person that God set out for you to become.  Don’t ever listen to the naysayers, the people that don’t believe in you, the dream killers, and that inner voice that seeks to sabotage you.  They have no place in your future.  To listen to them turns your dream into a nightmare.  It turns your dream into a fear.

Listen to your heart.  It is guiding you to become your own best self.   Don’t let the negative forces out there stop you from becoming your true self, because God knows, the negative forces will try to stop you.

It’s similar to the Temptation of Christ.  When the Devil tried to tempt Jesus, it was right before he set off to become God’s messenger that would commence a new global religion.  The Devil tried again and again and again to tempt Jesus.  It was by knocking the Devil to the curb that Jesus was able to focus on being true to himself.  It was only when he told the Devil to go away that the angels came down to help him.

You have to push away all of the negative things that try to prevent you from seeking out your dreams.  Once you’ve done that, everything is smooth sailing.  It’s like the universe conspires to help you achieve your dreams, but that is only after you have decided to walk away from all of the negative influences surrounding you that are trying to say that you can’t be the person you know inside of you is the person you are meant to become.

Your Biggest Obstacle

Your biggest obstacle will always be yourself.  We oftentimes have dreams of how we would like to live and then we tell ourselves that it can’t happen.  We thwart our own progress and opportunities.  We become afraid to become the person we want to become.

We create our own obstacles along the way.  Instead of waking up early to write the next great novel, we sleep in.  Instead of working out, we look for the first excuse we can find to get out of going to the gym.  When we diet, we create temptations that make us succumb to cheating and then that leads us to completely failing our diets.

We can become our own greatest enemy.  Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, focus on how you feel when you are making progress with your dream.  Dreams don’t just come true overnight.  It takes a lot of work, a lot of steps, a lot of misfires and a lot of setbacks.  If you keep watching what works and follow that direction, you’ll find things work out magically.  Everything becomes synchronistic.  It’s the universe winking back at you saying that you are on your way.


Focus on that “I’m Doing It” Happy Feeling

There is nothing more amazing than that feeling you get while you are working away at your dream.  You feel like you are accomplishing something magnificent when that feeling hits.  You are actually doing something about that dream.

When you feel that “I’m Doing It” happy feeling, keep going.  Remember every single time you step away from the dream to work on something else that you need to get right back to that happy feeling again.  Let that happy feeling be your drive to seeing your dream to fruition.

The dream is about the journey you take, not the end result.  Enjoy every single second of that dream.  Become involved in every single aspect that goes into your dream, even the small stuff, because when the big stuff happens, it will mean so much more to you, but you’ll also remember what little stuff went into creating the big stuff.  It’s the little stuff you’ll remember more.


Enjoy the Ride

The things you’ll love about following your dreams are the incredible moments that happen along the way.  That song playing the right tune at the right moment, you’ll remember that always.  That person you spent 10 minutes with that you’ll never see again, what they said in those moments will become a newfound direction.  That person you meet that’s already living their dreams, shares a bit of their passion in life with you…that’s the move that inspires you to keep going.

There are incredible things that happen when you are living your dream.  I’m living proof of that.  One thing and then the next and then the next happens and you’re standing there thinking, “What does all this mean?”  That’s just the universe winking at you, telling you…this is your life now…go forward and be prosperous.

Enjoy every moment of the ride.  It’s about the journey, not the end result.  The journey is what is so incredible.  The end result is just a moment, and the sign of a journey’s end.  You now have to go find another dream to live.  It’s the journey to get there that is the incredible dream.  After all, when we dream, it’s not the end result that makes the dream fantastic.  It’s the story of what led up to that moment that we remember.

Living our dreams is about deciding to live in the story that we have created for ourselves.  We become the author, the narrator, the actor and the director.  We become the story we want to live.  We stop letting everything else in the world dictate our story for us.  Our story we have written for ourselves becomes our own reality.

What is stopping you from living your dreams?  Go after them.  Live each and every single dream.  Don’t be afraid to live in the unknowing.  You know this is what you want, so go for it.  Never be afraid to be you.




On Writing and Following Your Path

Come as you are
For many years now, I’ve struggled with becoming the person I know that I am inside.  I’ve spent many years doing the little things to prepare myself for the big things in life.  I always felt like I was just biding my time.  For what?  I did not know.

My Moroccan friend, Driss, told me years ago that everything happening in my life is for a reason.  If I were to look outside the situation, my journey would look like a map.  There were markers showing one point to another to another.  That map was leading me somewhere…my path to my own destiny.

Changes

This past year, I made a lot of major changes and decisions.  If I was going to be honest with myself, I hated hockey. I’ve hated it since 2012.  The lockout and what the players did on Twitter sealed how I felt.  I tried after the lockout to fall back in love with the game again, but ended up hating it even more.

When I initially retired in 2012 from hockey writing, I really didn’t want to have anything more to do with it.  When my editor asked me back a year later, I decided to let go of the dream of having a family of my own (which is why I retired) and go back to the career.  I broke my own heart and told myself that the dream to have a family is no more.

Perhaps that heartbreak added to the hatred towards the sport and covering it.  A few months after returning to hockey, I found out I had a tumor in my parathyroid gland.  I spent the next two months preparing for the worst, like my doctor told me to do, making sure all of my affairs were in order for the ‘just in case’ I didn’t survive the surgery.

When I woke up in the recovery room, everything in my life had forever changed.  The story of my life prior to that surgery was done.  Who I was after the surgery…that was the person I had to discover.

For a lot of people, they have a before and an after in their life.  Usually some major traumatic event occurs and the person’s life changes forever.  They are no longer that person they were prior to that traumatic moment.  They’ve changed.

That was what happened to me post-op.  I struggled a lot that first year.  I struggled with memories.  I had to wait an entire year before all of my memories came back.  When they did come back, the emotions attached to them were no longer there.

The sisters of the Meditation Center told me that losing my memories was a good thing.  I’ve been carrying a lot of pain in my soul.  To no longer have that pain, why would I want to remember it?  It should be considered a blessing.  God had his reasons for wiping those memories clean.

As a writer, I needed to know what that pain was in order to write about it.


Moving In a New Direction

 

Last year, knowing I was very unhappy with continuing to be a hockey writer, I asked myself, “What do you love?”  The simple answer was books and movies.  So I decided to do that.  It started with a Film Festival.  Next, I attended the Book Expo conference for writers, bloggers, etc.  I attended another film festival.  I started getting invitations to movie premieres, talks, parties, etc.  It was like this world accepted me right from the start and welcomed me in.

My entire world changed.

Hockey season started up again and I just didn’t want to be there.  The reason I stayed was because sometimes you just don’t know who you are when you have become a certain identity.  People see you and know you as a hockey writer.  So what would happen if I were to change that?

I quit in March after the girl that had been helping me cover the Devils revealed that she had to deal with some misogynistic crap and someone tried to kiss her…and these people were members of the press.  After I read her account, I realized, you know…that really sickens me that this happened to her.

For years, I’ve had to listen to assholes say shit to me about being there.  Old guys would tell me I didn’t know anything about hockey.  I could be eating a carrot stick and they would stop and say something nasty about my weight.  I’m sure if I was model thin, they’d say I was trying to get a hockey player husband (and yes, I have heard many people accuse me of that over the years).

I was there to be a writer.  I was not there looking for a husband.  Sure, there were players that had crushes on me, but I was adamant about not being that stereotype that the only reason why women get into sports is because they are trying to get with the player.  I rejected every single player that showed an interest because I refused to be the person people wanted to accuse women in sports of.

The misogyny in sports is very real.  I just brushed it off and buried myself in my work.  But then I realized…wait…this is why I truly hate hockey.  These assholes have been saying shit to me for years and I act like it never bothered me, but the truth is that it always did.  To know this also happened to the other girl…oh, hell no.  I refused to be part of that culture anymore.

I was set to take over the spot at the New York Rangers, the team I wanted to cover since day one.  I decided that I didn’t want it anymore because those same jerks were over there, too.

Turning down covering the New York Rangers was a tough decision to make.  The Rangers have always been incredible to me.  The last time they went to Europe to play a few exhibition games, they invited me along (even though I was the NJ Devils beat reporter).  I was the only US based reporter that went along with them and the NHL.  The Rangers were also the only team to reach out after I released why I was leaving hockey.  I will always love the NY Rangers.  They were nothing but good to me.

I did feel like I was letting female hockey fans down.  You can try to fight the good fight and represent women in a culture dominated by men, but are you really fighting for anything if you just stand there and let the harassment happen game after game after game?  What are you actually accomplishing by saying nothing and remaining?

Leaving hockey was the best thing I could do for myself.  I wasn’t passionate about hockey anymore.  When you’re not passionate about something anymore, you really shouldn’t be doing it.


A New Beginning

When I quit, people asked me what I was going to do now, thinking that this was the end.  No.  It was a new beginning for me that had been unfolding for over a year.

When I met fashion designer Malan Breton at the NYCIFF, he told me that he used to be a sports commentator.  I was in shock.  This man who creates masterpieces was a former sports commentator, model, actor, journalist and so much more.  He made me realize that we should do everything we dream of doing.  One day, as we’re going along our path, we’ll finally find our true calling.

Looking at my map of life and comparing it to his, I could see that our lives were quite similar.  We tried on so many hats, just looking for the right fit that would define us.  He helped me open up my eyes to see that this was only the beginning of my journey.

After I quit hockey, authors started contacting me to review their books, willing to do interviews.  Before that, I had to seek them out.  I had to talk to publishers, meet with the authors, just to get the interviews.  I don’t have to do that anymore.  They are contacting me directly now.

I got more and more invites to movie premieres, special engagements (like the 25th anniversary of “Silence of the Lambs” with the cast and crew in attendance), invitations to fashion events, art events, etc.  I kept getting free stuff from vendors in hopes that I would review them.

Leaving hockey opened up that world completely for me.  People were always conflicted about approaching me about their stuff because I was doing hockey, which is not what they were doing.  After leaving hockey, they felt more comfortable approaching me.  Trust me when I say, leaving hockey was the best thing I ever did for myself.  It was a wall that was preventing me from accessing the world that was more like me.


All of this leads to my present

That person I’ve been afraid to let out, well she is currently out.  As in, I stopped ‘preparing’ myself to be a novelist.  This last year, I met a lot of publishers from various publishing houses.  At year end, two had approached me to ask if I had a novel to turn into them.  I didn’t.

For some reason, I had this fear of becoming that person I wanted to be (like most people).  I was always preparing, writing for other sites and my own blogs.  I was writing what I thought people wanted, not what I wanted.  What I truly wanted was to take these book ideas inside my head and actually commit to writing the entire story down.

It is time for me to switch to writing books.

Last year, Kim Thùy told me that I should be the one writing books, not her.  She loved my writing.  That said a lot to me because I think her work is a complete masterpiece and beautifully done.  When someone whose work I love tells me this, you would think I should follow through, right?

It takes a dream arriving at the right moment to make me realize now is the time.  A couple of weeks ago, I had this dream that was so intense, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  The story it told was just so incredible.  The elements in the story were so intense with emotion, I realized I had to write this story.

I sat down and started writing down my notes in a notebook, transcribing the dream.  18 pages later and on my third gel pen, I had only told the beginning of the story.  I hadn’t even reached the part where the bad guy is introduced.

As I wrote down my notes, my playlist would start playing songs that related to exactly what I was writing in that very moment.  It happened again and again and again.  You know what that is?  That’s the universe telling you that you are on your path.  You are doing exactly what you should be doing.  You are on your way to your destiny.

As I got lost in this dream, I started to see that map of my life Driss was telling me about.  What happened in this dream included a person I’ve been dreaming a lot about these past three years.  I never understood why.  Each time I had an intense dream that pertained to the story of my life (i.e. the dreams I remembered), this person was in it.  I had no clue why he was in it, but he was in it.  I just thought he represented someone else, because the story is similar to the story between me and another person.

When I stepped away from writing down my notes for the day, I started thinking about how weird everything was falling into place.  Then I realized the main character in this book…his presence in my life goes back to the late-1990s.  He’s the reason why I got into hockey.  He’s the reason why I wanted to see the New York Rangers play.  I was like…this is so bizarre.  Then I looked at that map of my life with this new element and had to smack myself in the head.  I was reading the map all wrong.  I’d been reading it wrong for years.

I was biding my time and I had no idea why.  Well, everything is now understood.  I now understand the map of my life.  I was becoming the person I was meant to become…a novelist.  By starting the work on the book, making myself live in each and every single moment I am discussing, telling myself that ‘you must write for yourself,’ my whole universe has shifted in the most incredible way.

When I got the invitation to see David Duchovny, I didn’t RSVP.  But then they emailed me again and I finally relented.  I’m glad I did.  He wasn’t there to talk about acting.  He was there to talk about writing.  He inspired me to become the narrator of my story and not let anyone else tell my story.  I have to remind myself to write for myself.  I look at these words before I write:

Writing

This is my writing mantra.  It helps me to understand that when I tell this story, I have to do this my way.  I have to fully be present.


Come as You Are

COME AS YOU ARE.  That is what I tell myself.  That is what it means to be present in the process of writing.  You are giving a piece of yourself, so you need to be brutally honest with yourself as you write.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ-mwIybZ_I]

“Come as You Are” is also a very spiritual song for me.  When I was struggling with meditation, this song came on and I realized this was God’s way of saying just come as you are.  Sometimes I strive to be the person I used to be and get frustrated that I’m not her anymore.  That frustration was making it so difficult for me to meditate.  “Come as You Are” made me realize that God already knows my struggle and doesn’t care.  I should just show up and be present with him, no matter what state I’m in.  I’ll get to where I need to be eventually.

I’ve come to realize that the dream I had a couple of years ago about walking away from someone I loved dearly and watching his heart break was a foreshadowing of my future.  God was telling him to let me be.  I’d come around when I was ready.  There was something I was going through and I had to go through it alone.

My struggles with meditation are about those inner struggles that redefined me after the surgery.  The heartaches I was carrying in my soul needed to be dealt with and the surgery triggered that need to wipe the slate clean before it is too late.  Letting go of the frustration helped me to understand that I’ve changed.  I have to accept that I’m not going to be that perfect soul anymore.  I am broken.

Writing for Yourself

‘Write for yourself and no one else’ is about making sure that I’m the only person involved in this writing process.  In this day and age of trying to do quick, mass sells in the marketplace, we oftentimes get so involved with trying to figure out what other people want to read, we lose our own authenticity.  We lose sight of writing something brilliant…something that will withstand the test of time.

The reason why Anne Rice became so popular was because in 1976, she wrote a book that had never been done before.  She wrote the classic “Interview With the Vampire.”  She is and continues to be one of the most prolific writers because she is very much a part of each of her stories.

Her stories involve something that happened in her life at that very moment.  The struggles she’s going through, the pain as she works through each loss, sickness, etc., her books are a reflection of how she was living at that time.  As a result of being true to her very being, she is one of the most celebrated bestselling authors of our time.  Every book she has written has been at the top of the bestsellers list.

These days, I oftentimes see her ask what people want.  That’s the problem with social media. People get wound up in trying to figure out what their audience wants instead of just doing what they want to do.  We all get messed up in wanting to be accepted by others, so we try to give people what they want instead of just creating what we want to create and sharing it with the world.

This novel I’m working on is about my life post-op.  It’s about a man who has lost his wife he loved dearly, and then gets her back for a moment.  It’s about a woman running away from the abuse, because she is dying.  It’s about death and how he takes pity on her and gives her a second chance.  He gives her borrowed time.  It’s about helping people learn to let go of the person they love more than life itself.

I think, in a way, this book is for someone.  It’s to help him let go.  I don’t know if you’ve ever watched someone’s heart break because they know you no longer love them.  I watched that happen and there was nothing I could do about it.  Those memories of how I felt about him did not return after the surgery.  They never did.

I think this book is my way of saying “I’m sorry I hurt you.”  The true elements to what happened in the real story are hidden in this story in such a way that it is supposed to help him let me go.

This is not the first book I wanted to write, but something tells me that it is needed now, not later.  The other two can wait.

Diving into this novel, I realized that a screenplay I’ve been going over in my head (I’m up to season 4 in my head, need to get to a season 7) is starting to become more realistic to me.  Last summer, I headed into HBO Studios for a seminar they were hosting. I literally had no idea how any of this TV business stuff worked, especially for writers.

I had accepted the invitation to attend the screenwriter’s seminar, because I actually wanted to start writing for Hannibal.  Imagine my surprise when it was the NBC Executive in charge of Hannibal that was giving the seminar.  Synchronistic?

I got from that seminar that Hannibal was about to be canceled.  It didn’t surprise me after seeing the first 3 episodes (it got too artsy, I couldn’t hear or see anything…it was driving me nuts).  But the thing is, there is hope for Hannibal’s return in a few years, but not to NBC.  That means they’ll need writers in the future.

Also synchronistic was getting the invitation to attend the 25th Anniversary of “Silence of the Lambs.”  Jodie Foster spoke about why she wanted to do this film and it totally changed the way I viewed the movie.  I ended up sitting behind Howard Shore, the composer for the film. I almost fan girled right there in my seat.  He’s written the music for almost every major film.  Most recently he wrote the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit trilogies.  I’ve been listening to his works since I was a kid and now he’s sitting directly in front of me to watch “Silence of the Lambs?”  I swear to you, my universe is very synchronistic.

My connection with the film industry over this last year has landed a lot of crazy opportunities.  The whole point in these opportunities is to learn, because this is a whole new territory to me beyond just watching a film.  I’m learning about the ins and outs to the film industry, especially as a writer.  I’ve met directors, actors and screenwriters this past year.  The funny thing is we are inspiring each other to do great things.  That’s what is so amazing about living your dream. You surround yourself with people that are living their dreams, too.  They become your support group.  You help each other reach each other’s dreams by supporting each other in our own endeavors.  A lot of times it’s just adding whatever your talent is to the mix and being a soundboard of support.

There is something to that energy of creative types getting together.  We feed off of each other’s energy.


In Closing

When I decided to write my novel and complete it when the publishing houses make their rounds at year end, I started down a whole new path to realizing I was making my dream come true.  When you’re on your path in life, you start to see things magically falling into place, as if to confirm to you that you are on the right path.

It’s like the birds are singing just for you.  That is what it means to be living your dream that was designed for no one else in this world, but you.

The opportunities that have arisen over this last year for me was all part of the universe opening the doors for me to see that following movies and books was the direction I was always supposed to follow.  Getting my name out there and writing about hockey for a few years was what helped me get my foot in the door when I began meeting with publishers last year.  I kept telling myself that writing about hockey was helping me to become a better writer so that one day, when I was ready to sell the novel, it would make me legitimate and not some no name writer no one has ever heard of.

No one is interested in what I wrote for hockey, but knowing I was a member of the credentialed media, it legitimizes the fact that I am a writer.  That means that the publishing houses and their agents are willing to talk to me.  I’ve seen people with novels in hand going from one publisher to the next to be rejected because they didn’t know who they were.

If a publishing house is going to take a gamble on you, they need to like you right from the start.  If you’re a no name who hasn’t put yourself out there to legitimize yourself as a writer, you’ll receive a lot of slammed doors in your face.

One thing I’ve realized as I’ve met writers over the years, they know when they are in the presence of another writer.  They can just tell.

When I met Brad Meltzer last year, he looked at me and asked if he knew me.  I responded that I didn’t think so.  He replied that he knows me from somewhere but can’t put his finger on it.  I just shrugged my shoulders.  I had a feeling that maybe he was right.  Maybe we did know each other somehow, but couldn’t put our finger on it.

I met Kim Thùy.  She signed her book and then gave me her personal email to do an interview for this site.  I was so surprised she was willing to do that for me.  Our correspondence with each other during the interview surprised me.  What I learned from her is to try and learn to write with fewer words.  There’s always a way to say what you mean in more eloquent ways.

When I met Amy Tan when I first moved to NYC, I asked her about her rock band and if they would be playing anytime soon.  She looked at me and said that when I finish my first novel to bring it by and they would help me make it better.  I was like…WHAT?  “They” being Amy Tan, Stephen King and Scott Turow.  Those three are in a rock band together with a few other major American authors (like Dave Barry, Mitch Albom, etc.).

The irony in this is that I wasn’t even a writer yet.  At that point in my life, it was just some far off dream.  It was the person I wanted to be when I grew up, but I was nowhere close to making that dream come true.

She looked at me like she knew for sure I was a writer and re-emphasized that they would help me make my work better and give me helpful insight to get my work published for the masses.  This meant a lot to me because Amy Tan is one of my favorite authors.  The fact that she could see right into my very soul and see that I was a writer, that meant something incredible at the time.  She was the person that awakened that sleeping writer within.  I became a writer after that moment.

Now, it’s time to become the novelist.  I don’t want to write other people’s stories all of the time (sometimes, but not all of the time).  I need to write my own story, because truthfully, the things that have happened in my life that have helped define me are the stories I want to share.

This site was always about sharing the stories of people making their dreams come true in an effort to inspire others to live their own dreams.  I just haven’t been sharing mine with everyone.  Now, I am.




PW Book Club: Anat Talshir’s “About the Night”

About the Night by Anat Talshir
About the Night by Anat Talshir

Hello everyone.

I hope you enjoyed this month’s book club read. I know I did.

This month’s read, “About the Night,” had us diving into a love affair between an Arab and a Jew right before the wall in Jerusalem went up in 1947.  Two newlywed lovers are forced to find ways to secretly see each other, before it is inevitable that they have no choice but to try and move on with their lives behind their respective side of the wall.

Years go by.  One continues to hold a flame for the other, the other decides to move on with life, thinking the other will do the same.  For both, they share a special kind of love.  This is the type of love people search for their entire lives.  It’s the kind of love that carries one through to the end of their life, no matter how long they have to live severed from the other.


Questions.

  1. What did you think of the book?  Did you like it?
  2.  Did you think this story was realistic?  If you found the love of your life and were separated from them, would you wait for them or would you move forward with your life?
  3. Have you met the love of your life?  Could you relate to that special love these two shared?
  4. Did the historical aspect of this story help you to relate to the issues facing Israel today?  Did you get a sense of the racism and cultural differences between Arabs and Jews?  Did it help you to understand the struggles facing an Arab and a Jew falling in love?
  5. Lila is a woman with great strength.  When life handed her lemons, she did the best she could do with them to keep on shining, even when they were tossed at her door.  In her heartbreak, we see Lila rising above to help people, even if it wasn’t the popular opinion of the people in her community.  Did you find her character an inspiration?
  6. Did you think Elias made the right decision after he was beaten by the police?  Could you do the same?
  7. What were some of your favorite quotes in the book?
  8. Would you recommend this book to others?




Feel free to leave your answers below, on GoodReads (see the link to the PW book club on the right), or on the PW Facebook page.

When Life Gives You Lemons: Preserve Them

Lemons

Growing up on a farm, my mother used to can everything she could. She learned to do this when we were living in the Appalachian Mountains of Georgia. Our neighbor always made pickled okra and pickled green tomatoes. I would sit in her house, eating jar after jar.  I was obsessed with it.

Eventually, the neighbor reached out to my mom and started to share her recipes.  I will admit there were more misses than there were hits.  The only thing she did get right was the pickled okra.  While there are many friends and family that will say it is her salsa that was the hit, I have to disagree, because I was always adding extra vinegar and salt to her salsa.  My brother, now he makes a mean salsa that he refuses to give me the recipe for.

This summer, I decided to start canning and freezing the summer’s bounty.  I’ve pinned so many canning recipes and ‘how to’s’ because there is a science to canning and preserving food.  The quick way to canning (and to avoid the water bath science) is to put the food into a jar, close the lid and put it into the refrigerator.  That’s how I’ve started out this summer’s preserving.  I’ve put everything into the refrigerator.


Starting Off Easy With Pickled Eggs and Sausages

I started off simple.  I ordered a large jar and made pickled eggs and sausages.  The linked recipe is a cajun version.  I decided to not add the spice, but added garlic and ginger instead.  I put all the ingredients into the jar, closed the lid and put it into the refrigerator.  The result?

The next morning, I pulled one sausage and one egg from the jar, made some toast and sat down to some excellent eats.  It was so filling, I wasn’t hungry again until lunch.

Pickled eggs and sausages is a simple way to start off learning how to preserve and to quick pickle.  You can do a variety of things with pickled eggs.  Eat it with Ramen soup, make egg salad (for an extra kick), and Deviled eggs.  The egg salad has been a huge hit in my home.

Confident that I could do this canning bit, I decided to focus on fruits and vegetables that I love.  I decided that I’m not going to make a bunch of jams (because I stocked up on jams when Food Emporium had a sale on my favorite brand).  I was going to focus on preserving food in a way that will help with my every day kitchen.  In other words, I would only can, freeze and preserve as if I was creating my own pantry from scratch.


Lemon Mania

I had read from Aimée at Simple Bites that she had treated herself to a box of Meyer lemons!  I love lemons.  I thought that would be the best gift to give to myself for my 40th birthday, so I went to the site where she purchased her lemons, only to find out their harvest was done for the year, but they did recommend a few of their farm friends.

I found Birch-Hill Organics through Lemon Ladies Orchard.  I ordered 10 pounds of lemons on Tuesday.  They went out and picked the lemons from the trees.  On Wednesday, I came home to a 12 pound box of lemons (they added a couple of extra pounds as a bonus).  Considering I’m on the other side of the country, talk about service!  Ordered it on a Tuesday, they went out and picked the bushel, I got it the very next day.

So what does one do with 12 pounds of lemons?

Simple Bites offers a few suggestions (including how to’s and recipes).  Here are a few extras I’ve done this past week:

  1. Lemon preserves for Moroccan and French recipes.  Simplest recipe ever to preserve (see Simple Bites link above).
  2. Grate lemon rinds for recipes.  Place in plastic bag and freeze.
  3. Juice the lemons into ice trays, freeze.  Keep lemon juice ice cubes in a freezer bag, use when you need lemon juice.
  4. Take leftover grated rinds, remove pulp (use pulp for recipes, like cobblers, etc.), place rinds in a jar, cover in vinegar.  After two weeks, you can make a simple organic all-purpose cleaner.
  5. Leftover lemons you don’t know what to do with?  Put them in a gallon sized freezer bag and freeze the whole thing.  Take out to defrost when you know you’ll need to use them.

I want you to note one important thing about the above…you’re not wasting any of the lemons.  You are using the entire lemon somehow.  You are making every part of the lemon go the extra mile.   Between food recipes, cleaning solutions and beauty products you can create, that 12 pound box of lemons can go the extra mile…every single part of the lemon. [See my Pinterest Board for additional lemon uses and recipes.]

Like I said above, I wanted to make sure that I used the lemons the exact way I use lemons now.  I didn’t want to make lemon curd or some other strange lemon recipe that I will never use.  I wanted to make sure I only used the lemons for things that I already use lemons for.  That is the art of creating the pantry.  Don’t create recipes that you’ll never use again.  Preserve the produce in a way that you know you’ll use them over the next year.

For those rushing to get your box of Meyer lemons, just FYI, I was lucky to get the box.  Meyer lemon season is in the fall and winter.  The fact they still had some in June…the owner said that these were mature and end of the season fruit.  So you can put off purchasing a box until the fall/winter months, maybe even the spring, to preserve.


I Did What With Mangoes?

Other produce I’ve purchased so far this summer and started preserving include mangoes, tomatoes, herbs, and cucumbers.

People don’t generally think of preserving mangoes.  Mangoes were at the top of my list because I love pickled mangoes, an Asian snack.  I have had a problem finding them in Chinatown, so I decided to make my own.  It’s a simple recipe.  I bought two boxes of mangoes from a street vendor.  He made me buy the box as is.  I couldn’t switch the produce around to just green mangoes.  He made me buy the mix of overly ripe mangoes along with the green mangoes.

When I got the mangoes home, I separated the overly ripe ones from the green ones.  I peeled all of the ripe ones, took all of the meat, placed it in a blender and pureed it.  I froze some of it into ice cubes (for an interesting twist to lemonade), and kept the rest in a jar in the refrigerator to add to smoothies and baking recipes.

For the green mangoes, I made six pint jars of pickled mango, and put the rest into an apple mango cobbler.

What about the peels?  Well, they made my garbage smell so much nicer.  I assume it will do the same with garbage disposals.  You can pickle the peels, put in smoothies, make mango chips, zest it for salads and even make mango extract.  The peels are probably the best part of the mango…as far as nutrients go.  BUT only go the extra mile with the peels if they are organic.  If they are not organic, it is better to be safe than sorry.  Toss the peels if they’re not organic.


How to Preserve Your Herbs

When I buy fresh mint or basil, I always end up having to toss a bunch because they went bad.  These days, if I don’t use all of the herbs within 5 days, I freeze them.

Just put the leaves in an ice cube tray, fill with water and freeze.  Keep them in a freezer bag after they’ve turned into ice cubes.  Toss into recipes, drinks, etc. when you need them.  My favorite is putting mint ice cubes in with my lemonade.  Yum!

Stop Wasting Your Food

This past week, I was watching the HBO Documentary “How to Let Go of the World and Love All Things Climate Can’t Change” and it really made me think of how I could be better about my own carbon footprint.

One thing that I’ve noticed a lot is how much food I waste. When I eat out, there is always more food than I can eat.  I usually get a to go box to give to the first homeless person I see.  But at home…that’s a different story.

Each week, I noticed more and more spoiled food that I had to toss.  I started thinking about what I can do to stop this waste.  So I decided to become more proactive with how I use the food in my kitchen.  It starts with careful planning and learning about all of the different uses for the produce I bring home.

There are certain tools I have found that help me.

ICE TRAY – I use this ice tray.  It’s king sized so you can pack a lot of herbs into it.  It’s also great for when you want to make ice for cocktails.  A lot of the high end restaurants use these trays to create giant sized ice cubes to go with your drink.

JARS – For jars, I like to get the wide mouth jars, because they are easier to use when you are spooning the food into the jars.  I like to keep jars in various sizes in the house so that as you preserve throughout the months, you can grab a jar and put your favorite marinara sauce, pie fillings, lemon rinds, etc. into the jar.  Quart. Pint.  Jelly Jars.

CANNING EQUIPMENT – This set includes everything you need for doing water baths.

FREEZER BAGS – I use whatever is on sale that says “FREEZER BAG” on it.  I generally buy the gallon sized freezer bags in bulk.

If canning for shelf life (and not the refrigerator), I highly recommend using recipes that are focused on using the water baths.  They are a little more complex than just putting it in the refrigerator.  Make sure to do plenty of research on how to do water baths.  Start by finding a canning recipe you want to make and then follow their instructions.  [You can find my Canning Pinterest Board HERE.]


Preserve As You Go

You could spend all day trying to preserve all of the produce you purchased or you can preserve as you go.

Take for instance, marinara sauce.  Make a little extra when you are making the sauce and preserve the rest.  That’s one bottle of marinara sauce down.  Continue to make a little extra with the ingredients you purchase to make sure you have a pantry full of preserved food for the next year.  This will not only save money in the winter months, but it will also help you create your own stockpile of food.  It comes in handy during an emergency.

For Home Cooks That Love to Cook

One thing I have realized in this process of preserving food is that all cooks need to do this.  You know what ingredients you use often and which ingredients you have to look all over for when you want to make a recipe.  I can never find lemon preserves when I want to make a Southern French recipe or a Moroccan tagine.  Ends up, I could just preserve them myself.  It only takes a jar, a bunch of lemons and sea salt (with no iodine).  After five weeks, they’re ready.  Why not prepare for those recipes when the lemons are in season?

Why buy marinara sauce in the winter when you can make batches of it over the summer when tomatoes are still in season?  Why spend a lot of money on herbs in the winter when you can grow them at home or freeze them in ice cubes when they are in season?

You know what you use the most of in your kitchen.  When the produce is in season, buy as much as you’ll need for the year and start preserving them.  Dice tomatoes.  Pickle eggs.  Preserve apple slices.  Preserve all those ingredients you know are hard to find during the year.  You’ll find that they’re a lot easier to make and preserve than running all over God’s green Earth to find it (and then spend an arm and a leg for it).

Stay away from recipes that ‘look good’ that you want to try.  Focus on creating a pantry you can use all year long.  Don’t bother making batches of stuff that you won’t even use.  This is about stopping the waste and focusing on using all the food you bring home throughout the year.

You can freeze, can and dehydrate produce.  Make it a habit of doing this every time you bring food home from the grocery store or farmer’s market.  Make it a habit of preserving the produce right off the bat.  It will save you so much money in the long run because you are not wasting the food.  You’re just saving it for a much later date.




Kindle First July Selection: Midair

Midair

I apologize for the late selection for this month’s Kindle First selection. I celebrated my 40th birthday on July 1st and then went on vacation…just a staycation and a break from everything work related.  But enough about that…about this book.

This month’s selection is “Midair” by Kodi Scheer.

“I had a secret: I wanted to leave the earth in a spectacular fashion. Specifically, by leaping from the Eiffel Tower.” So begins this provocative coming-of-age novel about a teenage girl bent on self-destruction and revenge, set in the City of Light.

It’s the summer of 1999, the end of a millennium. In the mind of Nessa Baxter, a girl from rural Illinois, Paris is the remedy for all of her woes. The death of her beloved brother and the betrayal by her classmate Kat has left Nessa bereft and doubtful about her future. She plans to exact revenge on Kat during their renegade French Club trip. Along with classmates Whitney and Kiran, the four girls embark on a series of misadventures in Paris. As part of her plan, Nessa starts a game of Truth or Dare that spirals out of control.

A suspenseful psychological drama, Midair is the story of a young girl’s descent into darkness and the secrets we keep, even from ourselves.





So far, the reviewers are giving “Midair” 4 stars overall, which is very promising that this will be a good read.

We will have the book club on September 15th.

For those who are new to Kindle First books, Amazon selects 6 books a month before its release to the general public and makes them available to Amazon Prime members for free.  After a month, the book becomes available for sale to the general public.  For Prime members, you get 2.5 months to read the book, 1.5 months for non-Prime members.

You can join the discussion by posting your comments below (or in the book club post thread on September 15th), on the PW Facebook page or in the GoodReads.com book club for The PW…all links are on the side.  You can also sign up for the club by entering your email address in the PW Book Club Sign Up on the right.

Looking forward to chatting about “Midair” with you in September.

We’ll be discussing “About the Night” on Friday, July 15th. I have to say, I enjoyed this book so much, I ended up ordering a physical copy to highlight the beautiful phrases throughout the book.  For those who have read the book, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.


Oprah’s New Greenleaf Does Something That’s Never Been Done Before

greenleaf

Oprah’s new film series “Greenleaf” is set to begin June 21st.  This is a series everyone needs to see.  “Greenleaf” premiered during the Tribeca Film Festival in April.

What makes “Greenleaf” so unique is that this series dives into corruption within the church.  This is something that people know exists, but no one has ever exposed churches for their crimes.  From money laundering to rape/pedophilia to extramarital affairs, “Greenleaf” aims to uncover some of the truths that lie behind some of the biggest churches in Christianity.

Cast of Greenleaf.
Cast of Greenleaf.

The Plot

Set in Memphis, Tennessee, the film stars Lynn Whitfield, Keith David, Merle Dandridge and Ms. Oprah Winfrey herself.

Grace Greenleaf (Dandridge) returns to her family home in Memphis after her sister commits suicide.  Grace is from a church family known as the Greenleafs.  Her father (David) is the preacher of one of the most successful megachurches in the South.  Her uncle is the deacon and her siblings (and their spouses) all serve the church in their own way.

Grace left the church to become a journalist, which in turn, made her into the black sheep of the family.  When she stepped away, she also stepped away from God and the church completely.

Her decision to leave made her into an outcast.  Her family could not understand her decision.  She was one of the best church leaders in the family.  People came from miles around to hear her speak.

Her decision to leave was because of what happened to her sister.  Her sister had been sexually assaulted by her uncle (the deacon), the same man they let attend her funeral and sit at the family dinner table with the rest of them.

Oprah Winfrey with the Greenleaf cast.
Oprah Winfrey with the Greenleaf cast.



Everyone in the family knew what happened.  They covered up the indiscretion.  In turn, that led to her suicide, which is why Grace has returned…to attend her sister’s funeral.  While at home, she discovers from her aunt (played by Winfrey) that it happened again to another young girl.  The church, yet again, has covered it up.

Not only is her family the head of this megachurch, but they have riches beyond compare.  We learn in the pilot, the church is under investigation by Congress for questionable finances.  The big family secret is that they are laundering money from the church.

This is something Grace is well aware of.  It is one of the many of the reasons why she left the church to begin with.  She disagreed with how her family was stealing from the congregation.

She is adamant about wanting to leave her family home as soon as possible.  When she discovers that the sexual assault has happened again to another young girl, she decides to stay on.  Her plan is to take the church (her family) down and unravel all of its secrets.  This is her payback for what happened to her sister.

Merle Dandridge leads the cast of Greenleaf.
Merle Dandridge leads the cast of Greenleaf.

The series premieres on OWN at 10pm/9pm CT on Tuesday, June 21st.  This series will be a good one.  It is a must watch.  Set your DVRs.


PS Must Have: June 2016

Popsugar Must Have June 2016
Popsugar Must Have June 2016

The June 2016 Popsugar Must Have box is one of my favorites, including items I can definitely use.

What’s in the Box

All of the items are pictured on top of the Hat Attack Neutral Diamonds-Printed Sarong (Retail: $58).  The sarong is definitely my favorite in this box.

The Sriracha Pressels (Retail: $1.29) are so good.  They’re like eating toasted bagel chips.

Pacifica is one of my favorite cosmetic companies.  I’m a big fan of their Brazilian Mango Grapefruit perfume.  I’ve never tried deodorant wipes before, but I think it would be great to keep at the office for those ‘just in case’ days when I forget to put deodorant on in the morning, due to lack of coffee stimulating my brain.  (Retail: $9)

The deodorant wipes come in three scents.  The one pictured above is currently out of stock on their site.

The Sisters of Los Angeles have created a cute “Cheers” Gold Bottle Opener that would be great to add to your bar cart. (Retail: $12)

For your beach needs to freshen up your sunscreen/makeup, the Knock Knock compact is perfect to take to the beach with you.  (Retail: $10)

I can’t wait to play Ridley’s Games Room “Who Am I?” Quiz the next time I have guests staying over.  This is a perfect game for a night in from being tourists in the big city.  I’m going to also order the Movie Buff and Sing it Back card games.  Those games can be a lot of fun around the holidays.  (Retail: $5.50 -$11.00)

This Born on the 4th NCLA Nail Lacquer is my favorite.  I love all of the sparkles and glitter in the polish.  I don’t normally wear polish, but I plan on wearing this.  (Retail: $16)


How You Can Subscribe

Like what you saw in this box?  Well, you can buy each item individually or become a Popsugar Must Have subscriber and get a box of curated items that are new to the market (and will be a conversation piece among bloggers and fashionistas everywhere) valued at over $100 for $39.95/month (+ tax).  The cheaper option is definitely to become a subscriber.

I’ve been a subscriber for a few years now and Popsugar Must Have is definitely my favorite subscription box.  They lead the pack in deciding which products will be the next “IT” thing on the market.    I used to give away 3/4 of the box, but this past year, I found that I keep all of the items now.  They have really upped their game by sending out qualitative products that I can find at a lot of the places I already shop.

Join now.  I think you’ll enjoy the service.