November is Native American Heritage month. As I finish my two book projects, I will be sharing Indigenous stories, as well as stories from Indigenous creators and storytellers.
Berkley Publishing sent along Blood Sisters [#ad] by Vanessa Lillie to be featured this month on this site. This book released on 10.31.2023. [NOTE: This post contains affiliate links. Please see the disclosure at the end of this post for more information.]
In this story, Syd Walker is an archeologist working for the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA). She’s uncovered a skull of an Indian woman in Rhode Island. Finding that skull is just the beginning of a much bigger story.
Another skull is unearthed in her hometown in Oklahoma, but this one has her old badge inside of it, like a calling card asking her to come home.
Find me.
The BIA sends her home to Oklahoma, where she has to face her own demons. Haunted by a friend who was killed when they were kids, she suffers from ongoing psychological trauma from that incident. She killed their attacker, but it was too late to save her friend and her parents.
Going home isn’t what she expected. She’s not an archeologist on this return, she’s an investigator, but what she’s investigating is more than just the skull with her badge in it. There is so much more to what is calling her back home.
She arrives to find out her sister, Emma Lou, has gone missing. The land is poisoned and caving in, thanks to mining and energy companies polluting the land. People are being forced to take a pittance for their poisoned homes and nothing for the land. Drugs are becoming a way of life for their community so much that even Syd’s mother is making drug deliveries.
Bad people are taking advantage of this dying community. Whites are encroaching on the land and taking it as their own without reprimand. The government…don’t get me started. Underneath all of this are the Indigenous women who have gone missing. Their bones are littering the earth, completely undiscovered. But there are people looking for them, hoping they are still alive.
Lillie incorporates a lot of the issues plaguing Native Americans. The story takes place in 2008, but the problems are still relevant today (if not worse).
Lillie is a white-facing Cherokee. I didn’t start crying until I read the Author’s Note at the end of Blood Sisters. [#ad] Her note reminded me of why it is so difficult for me to write Book Project #1. I’ve cried so many times already, because to tell what is happening to Native Americans over these last hundred years all the way up until today has been so difficult, because it hurts me to know how much evil has been wrought against an entire race, all in an effort to exterminate them.
For this book, I will say that the ending surprised me. The twists kept coming and they didn’t stop. There’s redemption, surprise, intrigue, and just pure evil slamming up against you. She even threw a tornado in there (which actually did happen on May 10, 2008). There is more involved in this return to home than just investigating a skull with her badge in it. Ends up, everything is far worse than you can imagine.
This is a fantastic read for those who love thrillers and want to understand a little more about the terrors facing everyday Indigenous lives. If it’s not the white man trying to poison Native Americans, it’s people trying to murder them and steal the land out from underneath them, and people flooding their communities with drugs. This book goes into a very dark place, so tread lightly.
Thank you Berkley Pub and PRHAudio for sending Blood Sisters my way. [#ad] I think it frightened me more than I let on, because a lot of the topics Lillie touched upon are elements that appear in Book Project #1 (and that’s the horror book). It reminded me a bit of the psychological terror in the Hannibal Lecter books and the evil the FBI are chasing down (which is far worse than the cannibal). In this case, Syd had no idea what she was searching for when she arrived home, until it stumbled out of a cave. That was when everything changed.
[Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review on this site. My review is not influenced by the publisher or the author in any way. This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.]
The Book Influencer is not just a person who influences people to buy a certain book. They influence people to read more books.
I am starting a new series on this site about being a Book Influencer. This site has been around for about a decade now (maybe longer). Going through the audit pages to see what people read on this site, I noticed there are a lot of hits from people wanting to know how this all works. How do we become book reviewers? How do we get advance copies of books?
So to help answer those questions, I am starting this series to help you become a better book reviewer, and eventually a book influencer.
How I Got Into This…
After leaving the hockey writing world, I switched to writing about books. I knew absolutely nothing about this. All I knew was that post-hockey, I wanted to focus on two things I loved: books and film.
I started off by attending the Book Expo. This was an annual event where publishers met with librarians, book sellers, and the media to talk books. The first conference I attended allowed book bloggers in. I attended several panels where I learned what publishers wanted from us in order to market their books. I memorized all of the rules, picked up my advance copies, and got to it.
The following year, I noticed I was the only blogger at the Expo. I went around to all of the publishers and asked if they had seen any bloggers there. Nope. I was the only one. Someone from Penguin Random House explained that the Big Five had a meeting about who they would allow to attend, and they decided to only allow five bloggers/book influencers. Apparently, there was an issue with the bloggers from the previous Expo. They had depleted their stores, wrote a tiny blurb (if they wrote anything at all), and that was it. It wasn’t enough to satisfy gifting these ARCs (advance reader copies) to them.
So how did I beat out everyone else? I found out from an old colleague that now works for HarperCollins that he saw my name on the list and he greenlighted me for all of the publishers. He told them he had known me for years, I was a former hockey writer, he knew I would do everything by the book and already had a history of doing so. So that’s how I became one of the five allowed to attend the Book Expo. I was actually doing the marketing that was requested of me.
Now, to save you some time Googling, the Book Expo is no more. The event did not survive past the pandemic. There are book festivals throughout the United States that you should definitely attend in order to meet with publishers and authors to learn more about being a book reviewer, and possibly pick up a few ARCs.
How Do I Become a Book Influencer vs. a Book Reviewer?
For me, moving from being a book reviewer to a book influencer was a little different than most. And yes, there is somewhat of a difference between the two (but not much). A book reviewer reviews books, posts their reviews on multiple platforms in a timely fashion (or at least, we try to get the reviews out by the week the book is released).
Depending on your social media platform, you’ll need to have some sort of post about the book on your Instagram, blog, TikTok, etc. You are basically doing the marketing and sharing your review of every title you receive.
Now, this is how the Book Influencer is a little different. I receive somewhere between 30-50 books each month. 75% of those books are not books I requested. Oftentimes, these books are just dropped into the mail or into my inbox or Netgalley/Edelweiss queue.
Now, I don’t read 30-50 books a month. I wish I could. I do read over 100 books a year, though. The question is which of these hundreds of titles will I choose to be among the 100 books I will actually read. Of those 100 titles, which ones are the ones I will actually post a review for? Which ones will I promote? Which ones will get a spot on my blog or Instagram?
As a Book Influencer, I can be a little pickier about which books I choose to feature. When I told publishers that I am only going to feature the books that are good enough to share to the masses, they actually got on board with this. This method is a very different kind of marketing. That means if your book is shared, that means it was a damn good book, and I will be promoting it on several different platforms. I will be pushing the sale of the book. This is like getting a feature in a magazine or in a newspaper. The space on this blog does not just go to every single book I read. It goes to the ones that I recommend people should read.
Now, since finding those gems takes some time, I still share the books I receive from all publishers. For Instagram posting, I do a monthly round-up featuring titles I received that are releasing that month. During each pub week, I will post a graphic of that week’s releases. For physical copies I receive, I try to do a weekly or bi-weekly bookstack. For book tours I sign up for, those books are always featured. There are certain publishing houses that get an automatic post of whatever they send (think Berkley – IYKYK), as well as Penguin Random House Audio.
I do not write a review for every single book I read. I sift through all of these titles looking for books that are the diamonds in the rough. I am curating books for people who love to read that don’t want to read a mediocre or bad book.
Trust me, I know how it feels to pick up a book and think you wasted your time on it. One year, I received so many horrible books from publishers, I literally sent a message to them going WTF. Every single title from your publishing house this season was horrible. That year, it took going through 35 different books (reading them from cover to cover) to find one book that was actually worth recommending to people. So I learned how to be more selective with the books I chose to spend my time on.
In the beginning, you will find that may be the case with you. You’ll read several bad books in a row. Being a good reviewer means learning which books to stay away from because it is not going to strike a chord with you. It takes some time to master this. It will also teach you how and when to DNF (not finish) a book.
The purpose of the book influencer is not just to influence people to read whatever book you are recommending, it is to encourage them to read more books. Recommending a bunch of bad books does not influence people to read more. But if you recommend a good book, or get excited about something you read, it gets your followers excited. It makes them want to go out and read that book. And when they read one good book, they want to read more.
As a book influencer, you are not pushing the books the publishers want you to push. You are trying to establish a reputation where you are trustworthy with the books you recommend. You want to encourage people to read more books. The way to do that is to provide them direction to which books they may love. These books are the ones you vet and then decide whether to promote them or not.
This is What Happens When You are an Influencer
Over the years, as I wrote reviews and shared books, I never really looked up from what I was doing to see if any of this was having any impact. But then I started noticing that I was making an impact on people.
People that followed me during my hockey writing career followed me into the book world. One person (shoutout to Kim) went from reading five books a year to reading a bunch of books every year. She even joined Bookstagram and became a book influencer.
People I went to high school with that followed me started their own book club because they were inspired by all of the books I was sharing. The hockey community started reading and sharing their books more. Even the friends I made in the media started their own book clubs and book talks.
I do have a lot of friends and followers that are celebrities (this comes from many years of attending film festivals, writing about hockey, doing interviews, etc.). They started prioritizing reading every single day. Imagine my surprise when they started posting about books! I swear I almost fainted.
Since I do not always do book reviews or suggest books, when I do, I see within the next day a bunch of followers run to purchase that book. I think they know the difference between a book recommendation vs. all of the other other posts I do. It’s the actual book that makes the blog review that is purchased.
This is what being a book influencer is all about. It’s not just about marketing. It’s about getting people to read more books. The only way to really do that is to recommend good books.
If you think this is just about writing or posting content, you should see me in person. If I know you like to read and I know your genre, I’ll curate a bookstack for you that will have you reading more and more books. I love talking about books, but I also love helping people discover their next great read.
I hope this series will help the book reviewer community. Feel free to ping me (Instagram/Threads: @michellekennethpw) or leave a comment on any of the articles in this series if you have questions and I’ll do a post on it. For those seasoned reviewers and influencers, leave comments with advice that will help others in the book community. After all, if it wasn’t for the book community, I never would have figured all of this stuff out. Plus, there’s something new every single day to talk about.
It’s time for all things spooktacular! Oh, how I love the Halloween season. I love all of the decorations, the costumes, and the candy. Matthew (the Maine Coon) loves Halloween. I can’t get him to dress in any other costume other than his Superman costume. I tried to make him a skeleton last year. He took the costume off. So I put his Superman costume on him, and he ran around all day in it. If I tried to take it off at any point before Halloween was over, he would attack me.
He loves being Superman. I think it’s because the code phrase for me to carry him is, “Let’s go Superman!” He’ll get in position and I’ll carry him while humming the Superman theme song to him. He loves it.
Last year, since we have more dogs than kids in our building, we gave out dog toys and treats, as well as candy and small toys for the humans. Matthew had so many visitors that day. He got to meet so many dogs as they showed off their costumes. He absolutely loves Halloween. He took a few toys for himself, but that’s fine, considering all of the dogs got to take a few toys. We had treats and toys for the cats, but there were no takers. More for Matthew.
The Interview
If you haven’t caught the new feature on the site called “The Interview,” you should definitely check it out. I selected these interviews to help inspire you to go after your dreams, no matter what they are. I started us off with interviews from my hockey writing days with John Madden and Ilya Kovalchuk. I also posted a recent interview I had with Edwin Walker (Filmmaker).
I hope that you will be inspired, but also find the tools you will need as you follow along in your journey.
I gathered a few of my growing up hockey stories to start The Interview because it shows the human side of becoming a professional athlete and all the hard work they put into the dream of becoming an NHL player. From the projects of Toronto to the Cold War days of Russia, these players share their journey to make their dream come true.
Chasing your dreams is a struggle. You really have to put in the work every single day. It is about the journey, not the end result. The journey is what makes the dream worth living. The work is what fulfills you and makes you happy. It challenges you to be better than you were the day before.
And oh, the people you will meet along the way will be more and more incredible as you follow your path. Those moments will also be more meaningful to you.
My hope is that The Interview will help inspire you in whatever you do, so that you will be true to yourself and follow your dreams in order to define your own greatness.
50 Questions
Another part of The Interview feature includes 50 Questions. So what better way to start off this part of the feature than with me answering 50 questions.
Five books that helped shape you. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle The Secret by Rhonda Byrne Twas the Night Before Christmas
Favorite movie. Dune (1984)
Favorite ice cream. Mint chocolate chip
Coffee or tea? Oh, definitely coffee.
Favorite place in the world. At home with Matthew (the Maine Coon).
Most influential person you’ve met. Amy Tan. Before I became a writer, she knew I was a writer. She saw that in me before I even saw it in myself. She said to me when I went up to get her book signed, “When you finish your novel, we can look it over and help you with it.” She was referring to herself, Scott Turow, and Stephen King. I told Scott Turow about this many years later. I even got to meet Stephen King. I guess I should finish the novel(s) before they die. They are getting up there.
Who inspires you? My grandfather. He told me before he died that I needed to get on my path in life. Nothing would ever work out until I did. Love would never work out until I was on my path.
Favorite band/musical artist. U2
Favorite song. There are so many. I think right now, it’s George Michael’s “Freedom! ’90.” This one has been on repeat this week. The song is about George shaking off what the music industry expected of him, this sex symbol that the teenage girls loved (I had his Faith posters up on my wall). But he was secretly gay. This song was his coming out song. This was his way of saying stick around for the music, and let me be free to be me. The music video for this song featured every supermodel in the world at the time. For me (this week), this represents choosing myself and being the person I am meant to become. It’s about letting go of the person I can’t become, so that I can become the person I am meant to be.
Favorite actor/actress. Bing Crosby, Cary Grant, Laurence Fishburne, Russell Crowe.
What do I love about my life? Matthew. This Maine Coon cat became the child I never had. When I realized I wasn’t having kids, Matthew came into my life. I did not miss out on mom brain, the all night feedings, the 2 hour naps, Matthew proofing the entire house, the shit, the vomit. Oh, I got the whole baby/child experience out of this cat. But the thing I love the most with my life with Matthew is that we upgraded our life back in 2021. Since I couldn’t get out of the country to move to France, I decided that if I couldn’t get out of the country due to the travel ban (and I had to move because the landlord had served an eviction notice to everyone in the building because he wanted to remodel it), I would just upgrade my life. So we moved down the street to a luxury building where professional athletes live and movie stars stay. Matthew has made several celebrity friends in this building. He is so much happier. Because he’s such a social animal, he has made so many dog and human friends. He has a whole courtyard he can run around in (he even sneaks into the dog park). He’s happy. I’m happy I did this for us. The whole point was to do something amazing for myself. I do not regret this happened. It was a nice consolation since France was put on hold.
Where do I want to be in 5 years? In the South of France with Matthew, writing, photographing, and maybe thinking about opening up a bookstore.
Astrological sign. Cancer
What hobby have I been wanting to start? Needlepoint? LOL. Looks interesting, but I don’t have the time nor the patience to learn.
Favorite song from your childhood. “Say Say Say” by Paul McCartney and “American Pie.”
Favorite memory. My grandmother was living with us in Georgia for a little while. Something happened and we started laughing hysterically. I just remember laughing so hard with her. Probably the happiest moment of my life.
The icon in your life. My grandfather. He passed away in 2007. He was the only person in this universe that actually loved me. Love is changing who you are to become a better person, because someone kept knocking on your door wanting to be loved by you. When I was 3, I used to knock on his door every day (we lived next door to each other). I would say, “Grandpa, are you home?” Even after I just watched him walk into his home, I’d run over and follow him. He’d close the door, so I would knock. He didn’t like me. He didn’t like anyone, truthfully. He was a bitter old man back then. But one day, I saw he was actually hiding from me inside. I kept knocking. He kept hiding. I started to cry. He heard me, and something inside him changed in that moment. He opened the door, and his entire life changed. It was that moment that changed his life to becoming a more loving human being. A few years later, he found out my parents tried to adopt me out after finally getting the boy they wanted. My dad was so cruel to me. My grandfather asked him why he hated me so much. He responded, “Because she was born a girl.” My grandfather was shocked. In that moment, he truly hated his son. My great uncle (his brother) was with him at the time, and they decided to love me. They could both see that I was not loved by anyone in the family, so my grandfather and his brother decided to love me and to give me opportunities to have a better life. Before my grandfather died, he told me the family planned to kick me out. But he had a surprise in store for all of them. When his Will was read, they discovered he had written them all out and disowned them all…except me. This was how he made sure I knew there was at least one person in that godforsaken family that loved me. He had written them out because he sat through so many dinners for years, quietly listening to them plot against me and talk crap about me, as if they knew me. This was the man who believed in me, and he knew I was meant to become something far greater than the person they wanted to believe I was. He made them pay in the end.
Longest relationship. Surita (cat). She was with me for 18 years. My brother. 41 years together.
What kind of love story do you want? I thought I wanted the soulmate story, but I’ve learned that this is probably the most difficult love story to have. Although I’ve had more than one soulmate (I just encountered a third recently), I’ve learned that you end up alone in this story. I don’t recommend this kind of love story at all. I highly doubt the two living soulmates will change my mind about this. So the kind of love story I want…it just does not exist for me. There comes a time when you hope and hope and hope, then you realize it’s just never coming. Why hope for something that is only going to break your heart?
What did you want to be when you grew up? Believe it or not, a writer. Backup was a police officer (think FBI). Then, I wanted to be a Senator. I ended up being a writer. I was the first intern ever with the DC Metropolitan Police Department, and I worked for the Attorney General, the Senate, and the Republican Party (note: I am a Democrat and they knew this when they hired me). I learned that you always know what you should be when you’re a kid, before the world tries to tell you who you should be. Listen to you as a child.
Favorite season. Summer
Religion? No comment because you will not like what I have to say.
Favorite subject in school. I loved French class. In college, I loved the law classes that focused on victimology, constitutional law, or policing.
Hobbies. Reading, cooking, and writing.
Favorite vacation spot. The castle wall at sunset in Oia, Santorini, Greece.
Cat or dog? Both. I’ve always had cats, though, because cats can take care of themselves and I’m not home very often. Well, I used to say that. Matthew is more child than cat. He sleeps during the day. He starts getting hungry at 4PM. I’ve come home late to discover he’s tried to get out the can of food himself to feed himself. Not sure how he was opening up the can. But simply put, he needs his emotional support human.
Person (living or dead) you would like to have dinner with. Cary Grant
Have the date pay or go dutch? Dutch.
Favorite TV show. Supernatural
Favorite fashion designer and why. Valentino Garavani. The first designer I ever laid eyes upon their work was Valentino. He knew how to take the beauty of a woman and create a masterpiece from it.
Toxic trait. Running.
Do you believe in soulmates? Yes. I just discovered soulmate #3 recently. Edwin Walker asked me about this because, for some reason, in this lifetime, I’m gifted with more than one soulmate. He pondered why that was. Maybe because this is my last lifetime? At least, that’s what the Creator has been saying. So maybe I’m supposed to come across all of my past loves? I’ve come across two that were not soulmates, but I was definitely married to them in a past life. I had vivid memories of them, and they definitely were drawn to me.
Coolest thing that’s ever happened to you. When I was 16, Harrison Ford walked up to me to hang out and talk. When I was 23/24, the Secretary for the Department of Transportation told me that he would rather hang out with me than hang out with a bunch of politicians. And so he did. Every time he saw me. But the coolest thing…2001. Russell Crowe serenaded me with a song. He sang “Somebody Else’s Princess” to me. The man the Sex and the City girls masturbated to…he serenaded me.
Most loved item in your closet? My Fendi tote bag.
Favorite restaurant. Red Basil in Rutherford, NJ. I haven’t been there in years, but they have the best Pad Kee Mao I’ve ever had.
What do you get on your pizza? Depends on where we are. Little Italy Pizza in NYC – salad pizza or their spaghetti pizza. Papa Johns is the Works. Brick oven pizza – margherita. Everywhere else – cheese or pepperoni.
Favorite food. Pad kee mao.
What item would you like to add to your closet? An Hermes Kelly bag.
Favorite cookbook. Right now, it’s Bountiful Cooking.
Favorite author. Amy Tan
What’s your theme song you would walk out to? “We Will Rock You,” the Queen/VonLichten version.
Dating/married/single? Single. I have not dated in 23 years. This is likely some kind of record, but when you’re holding out for the right person, you reject a lot of guys before they can even ask. Sure, there were a few guys in those years I loved, but it didn’t quite work out. One broke my heart (he still to this day writes songs about how I left him). The next one showed he had no respect for me and tried to sabotage my hockey writing career (I am still mad about that time when I got multiple text messages from the Philadelphia Flyers media telling me what he did. Only one person printed it. The rest refused to print it, tweet about it, or even mention it out of respect for me.). The next one told me as he was walking out the door how he felt about me, and it nearly ruined me. I was so heartbroken and devastated over it. Took a long time to get over him. In between, there was some other guy that asked me to travel the world with him. If I didn’t have Matthew, I would have. But I have Matthew and he’s more important. I think with each one, I thought I deserved a better love. You know this when you love yourself first. I wanted someone who complements my existence. A best friend.
Perfect date. A great conversation.
Favorite drink. Water.
What is your proudest accomplishment? Being me. I am more successful than anyone in my family ever was. I command a higher salary than anyone in my family, not to mention as a woman. I’ve done more things, met more people, had more amazing experiences in life than most. Once again, Russell Crowe (right after winning an Oscar) serenaded ME. I am in the NHL history books as the first credentialed writer to ever be allowed into the press box that was from a website (not newspaper/TV/radio). A bunch of senators told my rich aunt and uncle (who believe I’m the worst thing to ever have existed on planet Earth), that I was the best thing that ever happened in the Senate. They all loved and respected me there. My aunt and uncle were shocked. Best comeuppance I’ve ever witnessed.
What is the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Flew to X. Did not end well for them in either instance.
What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? The longest really good book I could find, a tool kit & a first aid kit.
What is your goal for this year? To finish my current book projects.
What negative habit have you dropped? Thinking that everything will be better when X happens or when someone comes to save me. I am the hero in my story. I make my dreams come true. I save myself.
The scariest thing I ever went through. When I found out I had a tumor in my parathyroid gland back in 2013. The doctor told me to prepare for the worst. Some people stress eat, I stress shop. I was scared out of my mind. But luckily, everything turned out ok. I still deal with the after effects of missing a hormonal gland (like perimenopause starting at the age of 38). We’re always looking out for the next tumor.
Today’s fall horror book comes from Erika T. Wurth, and it is called White Horse.
[Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.]
I’ve been sitting on this book for a little while now, because I’ve been mulling it over. That is actually how I know the book is really good…if I am still thinking about it long after I read it.
For me, what I am mulling over is Bigfoot. Weird, right? Kind of reminds me of Big’s obsession with Bigfoot on Reservation Dogs. If you are like most, Bigfoot is just some urban legend that no one really believes is out there. Never once did I contemplate just where the story of Bigfoot came from.
Imagine my surprise that Bigfoot’s roots come from Indigenous cultures.
As I dive more and more into Native American stories and their culture, I am learning how protective they are of their stories. One book (I’ll be sharing soon) lists most of their horror stories as the white man being the monster. And truthfully, it is rather eye opening to see the story through the eyes of a Native American. I usually just nod my head and go, “Wow, you are so right.”
With White Horse, you can see the monster through different eyes and it is equally as terrifying. Watching history and folklore cross paths to explain the monsters around us, really made my heart sad. I think I didn’t want to talk about this horror story so soon, because my heart wept. To have that sort of emotional feeling during a horror story, that means you need to read it.
All I can say is that I don’t think the horror story ever really ends. There are so many levels of horror that stick with you long after you turn the last page. That is what makes this debut novel an incredible horror story.
Synopsis
Some people are haunted in more ways than one…
Kari James, Urban Native, is a fan of heavy metal, ripped jeans, Stephen King novels, and dive bars. She spends most of her time at her favorite spot in Denver, a bar called White Horse. There, she tries her best to ignore her past and the questions surrounding her mother who abandoned her when she was just two years old.
But soon after her cousin Debby brings her a traditional bracelet that once belonged to Kari’s mother, Kari starts seeing disturbing visions of her mother and a mysterious creature. When the visions refuse to go away, Kari must uncover what really happened to her mother all those years ago. Her father, permanently disabled from a car crash, can’t help her. Her Auntie Squeaker seems to know something but isn’t eager to give it all up at once. Debby’s anxious to help, but her controlling husband keeps getting in the way.
Kari’s journey toward a truth long denied by both her family and law enforcement forces her to confront her dysfunctional relationships, thoughts about a friend she lost in childhood, and her desire for the one thing she’s always wanted but could never have…
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Edwin Walker is no stranger to Perfectionist Wannabe. You can read his first interview (when he was 27) and his latest interview (at the age of 35) to see how he’s still living the journey in pursuit of the dream that is ever-evolving.
[Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Should you make a purchase through the link, this site may receive a commission from the sale at no extra cost to you.]
50 Questions
Name 5 books that helped shape you.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho All About Love by Bell Hooks Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell James Baldwin Artist on Fire by W.J Weatherby The Artist’s Wayby Julia Cameron
Name 5 films since 2015 that you saw that moved you and why.
Room (2015) by Lenny Abrasmson – This film touched on what trauma truly does to us. It was a moving film about love and it humanized our rawest emotions.
Get Out (2017) Directed by Jordan Peele – A true masterpiece in telling a story in such a unique way. I will never forget my first time watching this film and the ride it took me on.
Sorry to Bother You (2018) Directed by Boots Riley – This film was so different and wild. An artistic compelling deep dive into capitalism, race relations, and modern forms of slavery.
Parasite (2109) Directed by Bong Joon Ho – I was truly moved by the creativity and nuanced elements of this powerful story of class conflict and wealth inequality.
Premature (2019) Directed by Rashaad Ernesto Green – This was a brilliant moving story of the innocence and fragility of love.
What do you do in life?
I’m a Multi hyphenated Creative Architect, Artist, and Filmmaker. Creating whatever I can create that’s dope, telling stories, curating, and facilitating infinite possibilities.
Coffee or tea. Tea
How many stories have you written? Over 50 short stories, short films, features, TV pilots, and vignettes.
Favorite cartoon. Anything Looney Tunes.
How many movies have you been a part of? 6
What are 2 things on your bucket list? Smoke a joint with Beyonce and Jay Z and to hike Mount Kilimanjaro
Favorite book.The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Favorite author. Octavia Butler
Favorite movie. City of God, directed by Fernando Meirelles & Katia Lund
Favorite actor/actress. Jeffery Wright & Viola Davis
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Last vacation. Peru
Next vacation. Panama
Favorite place in the world. East Africa ( Any Country there)
Favorite city. New York City
Favorite song. My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder
Favorite restaurant. Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen
Favorite food. Anything that’s Pasta
Favorite drink. Moscow Mule
Favorite TV show. Martin
TV or Film. Film
Favorite project you worked on. FX’s Atlanta
Person that inspired you the most. Honestly, myself.
Favorite moment in your life so far. Traveling to the continent of Africa, all 3 times.
Name one place you would like to visit. Tokyo
Advice you live by. Bask in L.I.F.E (Live In Freedom Everyday)
Advice you would give to your teenage self. Slow down man, enjoy these years.
Biggest impact Chicago has had on you. It’s kept me grounded and authentic to myself and others.
Biggest impact Hollywood has had on you. It’s taught me to know who the hell you are and own your work and identity.
Would you ever do theater? Of course, I started out doing theater and stopped, but I plan on returning one day and making it to Broadway in the future, God willing.
Favorite film festival. South by Southwest
Favorite artist. Jean-Michel Basquiat
Name an artist you think everyone should be following. Myself – Edwin Walker x E. Micheaux
Your social media go to. Instagram
Favorite filmmaker. Oscar Micheaux
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Which project challenged you the most? Caged Birds
What do you do to relax? Meditate, walk, read and rest for half a day once a week.
Morning person or night person? Night
Streaming or in theater kind of person? Both
Favorite movie snack. Any gummy candy
Coolest celebrity you’ve met so far. Tom Hanks
Best advice someone in the industry gave to you. “It’s a marathon journey, not a sprint so pace yourself, slow and steady wins the race.”
First movie you loved.The Lion King
First crush. Kyla Pratt
Person (alive or dead) you would love to meet. Tupac
Do you get imposter syndrome? Nope
Do you get nervous right before you get on stage or get in front of the camera? Of course, I thrive off my nerves and excel in the moment.
Best advice a friend has given to you. Don’t ever change, keep being yourself!
What’s next? So much, we are traveling the country with the “PreSchool To Prison” documentary project. I’m curating art/photo exhibitions, and dinner parties with artists and brands with Lab Eighty 8. I’m shooting a documentary series titled “E’s Global Quest” where I’m traveling to places around the world, meeting new people, learning about culture and cuisine from my POV. I’m producing and directing a feature documentary titled “Every Second Saturday In August” about the enriching chronicle of an annual vibrant celebration of black culture on the South-Side of Chicago. Along with prepping a feature film titled “Love’s Intention” that I’m praying to get cameras rolling Summer 2024 in Chicago. I have so much to be grateful for.
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Building Your Collective When Following Your Dreams
It’s been eight years since I first met filmmaker Edwin Walker at the American Black Film Festival and he did an interview for this site. I said back then that I knew we would end up being good friends for the rest of our lives. So far, I’ve been right about that.
Every time Edwin stops into NYC, we try to get together. We spend more time walking, talking, and eating than anything else. We are kindred souls in that we are not just storytellers, we also understand each other on a spiritual level. I think, in a way, we keep each other going on this journey as we follow our dreams.
I do not recommend following your dreams on your own. You need people around you to help you navigate through this journey. It is not all sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows. There are a lot of things that happen along this path that can completely sideline you for years.
For me, I think maybe the hardest thing after leaving hockey was my identity crisis and trying to figure out who I am now and where I wanted to go next. When the pandemic happened, it got even worse. But luckily, I had Edwin checking in on me, forcing me to get on a Zoom call with him, just to talk…so that we both knew we were not alone.
Edwin is a huge reason why you see a resurgence on this site. He came out to NYC during Tribeca Film Festival in June and we stopped into one of the panels. He asked a question that resonated within me. What do we (creatives) do when we become uninspired? How do we push through? We’ve been asking each other this question for the past few years. The answer he received was literally the answer we were looking for.
We, storytellers, need to push through. We need to continue to tell our stories and the stories of others, because we are a very important part of humanity. I think for me, putting a label on who I was helped me figure out what I wanted to do next. It helped me to understand why Edwin and I became friends. We are storytellers.
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
It is important to always surround yourself with people who are pursuing their dreams, just like you are. It is vital that you know you are not alone as you go through each win and each failure. There will be times of mediocrity and times that will completely gut you and leave you an emotional mess. Sometimes the entire world just stops or your country creates so much turmoil you are scared for your life. This is when you need to reach out to your pack of friends…your collective. Sometimes it helps to know that we are all going through the same thing as we navigate becoming who we are meant to become.
That’s the key. We are inspired by the people we surround ourselves with. Even when we’re stuck, wading through the mud, we need each other to help pull each other through this together. Following our dreams is not an easy task. There are moments we are going to feel uninspired and don’t want to continue. There are times life will hit you with something huge and you need to figure out how to get through this, even when you are an emotional mess.
Creatives need each other, because we need to know we are not the only ones going through this hard part of the creative process. But it is not just about the creative process. It is about the dream and the pursuit of it. Following your dreams is not easy. There are going to be a lot of disappointments along the way, a lot of learning curves, but that is just the universe’s way of helping you find your way.
I met Edwin right after I left hockey. The universe helped us find each other because as these eight years have proven, we needed each other when we created our own collective of creative friends. We inspire each other. We lift each other up and encourage each other, even when we are stuck. We help each other figure out what in the world the universe is saying we should do next. We help each other find our way.
Background
Edwin Walker x E. Micheaux ( A MONIKER in which he uses to pay homage and continue the legacy of pioneer filmmaker Oscar Micheaux) is a talented multi hyphenated creative architect/artist with a focus in filmmaking, storytelling, creative directing, experimental art curation, and facilitation of spaces. As an innovative filmmaker his credits include writing, producing and directing several narrative and unscripted short films, series and specials. He has produced shows for Netflix, CNN, Peacock, BET and Comedy Central. He produced one of the finalist films for the 2011 Coca-Cola Refreshing Filmmaker’s Award, along with producing the winner of the 2015 Essence Magazine Short Film Contest. Through his 2012 founded production company Edclusive Entertainment he produced the indie thriller “Caged Birds”, starring Khalil Kain, Bentley Green and Kamil McFadden, which is currently streaming on Amazon.Edwin is also an accomplished ACTOR having appeared on NBC’s Chicago PD, FX’s Atlanta, CBS’s MacGyver, Fox’s Empire, and Starz’s BMF to just name a few. This audacious Creative Architect/Artist founded Lab Eighty 8, a creative experience brand that is building dynamic and curated spaces, experiences and exhibits by artists of color who are bringing impactful creative change to the world. His work as an installation artist and curating for Lab Eighty 8 has engineered several artistic spaces in Los Angeles, London, San Diego, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, and Houston. Working alongside clients such as AfroPunk, Saint Heron, Nike, Uninterrupted, and Netflix. Edwin Walker x E. Micheaux is poised to revolutionize, disrupt and empower the entertainment, arts and media space. His creative core value and MISSION is to amplify black creative voices, humanize the narrative and imagery of black people with powerful stories, resources, spaces and bold unapologetic art.
The Interview
It has been eight years since your last interview for PerfectionistWannabe.com. Where has life taken you?
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Wow, eight years flew by in a blink of an eye. What a wild ride it has been, from a Pandemic that made the world stop, to political madness, to a deep personal development journey I’ve been on. I’ve traveled to over 10 countries since our last interview. In 2020, I moved back to my hometown of Chicago, IL after doing a 13 year bid in LA. I joke and tell people, living in Lalaland is like a bid, of some sort, into a different world. But that place was really impactful in my growth as a man, an artist, and overall identity in my career. I met so many amazing people and built a collective of friends. A lot of development and evolution happened for me in LA that I’m forever grateful for.
What film projects were you involved in?
I have two projects as an actor. I hope to be able to talk about them soon. But I’ve appeared on NBC’s Chicago PD, FX’s Atlanta, CBS’s MacGyver, Fox’s Empire, and Starz’s BMF to name a few. I recently produced under my production company, Edclusive Entertainment, an indie thriller called Caged Birds. It’s a story about three black high school seniors going to school in the suburbs who are forced to cover up a murder when a prank against a white bully goes wrong. As the investigation into the murders intensifies, the boy’s relationships begin to splinter and their loyalties are tested. It stars Khalil Kain, Kamil McFadden, and Bentley Green. It’s currently streaming on Amazon. It was a great learning experience on my journey as an independent filmmaker.
Life has taken strange turns for everyone in the creative field. From the pandemic to the George Floyd protests to the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike, how has your life and work changed for you during these times of adversity? What have you seen as positive (and negative) coming out of these times for both you and the industry?
I would honestly say these past 3 years in turbulent times have been impactful years of major artistic growth for me. I feel more powerful, liberated and free within myself than I have ever felt on my journey. I have created an energetic force field of faith, peace, passion, purpose, and positivity from all the chaos and noise. During the pandemic, I reflected so much about who I am as an artist, spiritual being and filmmaker. I was able to get into therapy, and do some healing from untreated traumas and self awareness work. I was able to keep myself inspired, hopeful, full trust in the most high and in alignment with new possibilities. Now, of course, I had some days that were rough, but I have a motto of “DON’T GIVE IT NO MORE THAN 24.” I process my feelings and survey what I am truly in control of and move forward in gratitude and ease. So as this dual WGA, SAG- AFTRA Hollywood strike has been going on, which I’m a member of both; I reverted back to that energetic force field of faith, peace, passion, purpose, and positivity. I hope we get a resolution soon, but I can’t let it affect how I show up to my creativity and life. I’m pivoting and continuously creating.
(Photo Credit: Nick Moody/Copacetic Visuals Photography)
Tell us about your latest documentary PreSchool to Prison.
PreSchool To Prison is an amazing short documentary that examines how the United States public school system is built and operated like prisons. Zero-tolerance policies are used to justify suspension and arrests that set up a pathway to send children of color and children with special needs to go from school to prison. Children are being suspended, restrained, dragged, physically manhandled, and subsequently arrested for minor offenses such as throwing candy on a school bus. These personal accounts from people affected by the school-to-prison pipeline give riveting tales about the generational impact on society. I produced this along with the director, Dr. Karen Baptiste, who is a powerful educator, speaker, consultant and now filmmaker. We met at Sundance three years ago,and instantly connected and we’ve been on this amazing journey to eradicate the educational lynching that has been going on in this country.
Lab Eighty 8 is a creative experience brand that is building dynamic and curated spaces, experiences and exhibits by artists of color who are bringing impactful creative change to the world. I founded Lab Eighty 8 in 2021 during the pandemic after seeing so many artists of color struggling to create and not seeing enough spaces that allowed us to create, build and connect. Since starting the creative brand it’s been a rollercoaster ride but an exhilarating one. I’ve grown as an installation artist curating for Lab Eighty 8, I have been able to curate artistic spaces in Los Angeles, London, San Diego, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, and Houston. Working alongside clients such as AfroPunk, Saint Heron, Nike, Uninterrupted, and Netflix. We have a few sponsored curated experiences happening in Fall and Winter. So I’m continuing to build the Lab Eighty 8 community and team of bold artists.
What inspires you to create?
Life inspires me. From moving to LA at 18 (only 3 months into adulthood I might add) with only $1,700. Traveling the world, going to foreign places, new elements, being in nature, meeting new people. I have been so blessed to experience life in a way many haven’t been afforded. From being raised by a single mother, being an only child, having to grow up so fast, being in an unpredictable and wild industry and working every job you can think of. I embraced the struggle and grew through it. I value and appreciate every good, bad and ugly experience that has happened to me. At 34, I have lived like 10 lives, it seems. I mentioned building an energetic force field of faith, peace, purpose, and positivity and that must be anchored somewhere. Moving back home to Chicago, I created a creative sanctuary of peace in a garden unit apartment filled with art, plants, candles, and books. Full of peace. You have to find a place to retreat, recharge and have stillness. When I return from my traveling adventures, I need a place where I can process myself and sit still. I’ve done so much reflecting in my creative sanctuary. As I check my life’s journey travels, I am so inspired to create bold art and continue to grow as a man, artist and filmmaker.
Since the George Floyd protests, do you think the narrative is starting to change for Black stories? Are you seeing more of a demand for Black stories, or has it tapered off (as if it were a trend)? Are you seeing more Black creatives and writers breaking ground and becoming a powerful voice?
There’s been some progress, but more progress is for sure needed. It’s so many unique, powerful and creative black voices that need to be amplified. Many black creatives are in need of resources, platforms and spaces to be unapologetic with their art. There are many who are creating these spaces like me, but we need more. I truly believe we need more Allies from corporations, major art/creative institutions, film studios and investors who are not black who want to make sure black creatives have EQUITY in their futures. A true commitment to assisting creatives with resources, and knowledge to own their IP and work. Not performative commitments which we saw a lot of after the George Floyd protests in 2020. Companies spotlighting and highlighting black creative voices, but then they slowly fizzled out and didn’t build a promising 5-10 year plan of creating effective resources and tools. We need more backing and collective unity amongst ourselves as black creatives. I hope to assist in building that paradigm before I leave this earth.
As a new feature for Perfectionist Wannabe, I present The Interview. Here, I am sharing the stories of the people I’ve met over the years. These stories go back to the start of my professional writing career, when I was a beat reporter covering the New Jersey Devils (NHL) for Inside Hockey. Over the decade following my hockey writing career, I interviewed authors and filmmakers. Now? The Interview season begins and you will find a whole new crop of interviews from the people who made their dreams come true. These are the interviews that will help inspire you and maybe learn something new.
The Crazy Ride Ilya Kovalchuk Took Me On
Looking back on the interview I am presenting below, I still shake my head at everything that happened while I covered Ilya Kovalchuk when he played for the New Jersey Devils. I do not know why this Russian chose me out of all of the reporters that covered the game of hockey, but he chose me.
Let me explain.
Kovalchuk appeared in the Devils locker room after a trade from the Atlanta Thrashers. Kovy is one of the best Russian players to ever play hockey. I did not say ‘the best.’ He is one of the best.
He came to the Devils right before the 2010 Winter Olympics. When I went around the locker room to interview the players about the upcoming Olympics, this was the moment he prepared me for what would eventually happen three years later.
I had asked him about being one of the Olympic ambassadors for Russia for the 2014 Sochi games. It was here that he explained that if the NHL did not choose to play in the 2014 Olympics, he would defect. It was expected that other Russian hockey stars (like Alexander Ovechkin) would also defect.
That was right before the Olympics in 2010. He prepared me.
At the end of the season, he was set to head to free agency. He was in his locker being interviewed by a Russian reporter. He looked at me and stopped the interview. He let me ask my question. I asked what everyone wanted to know. “Are you signing with the Devils?” He told me, “Yes.”
I never printed it. He told me that in March 2010.
By June, his agent contacted me. He asked why I never printed it (Kovalchuk was looking for the article). I explained that I’m not about to publish an article unless I had certain guarantees that what he told me was the truth. If I were to print he was planning on signing with the New Jersey Devils, I needed guarantees that was where he was going, because I am not in the business of writing rumors.
The main assurance I was given: Kovalchuk promised he would never lie to me. He kept his promise. He never did.
After the assurances were made, as well as his agent feeding me exactly what Kovalchuk wanted printed, I published the article. The LA Kings fans (at the time) believed they were getting Kovalchuk. Their General Manager was behind that rumor. He made them believe it was a done deal. There were articles saying, “Michelle Kenneth Thinks the Devils are Getting Kovalchuk.” They were vicious. They were mean. They made fun of me, and they slandered me, saying I was just like “Eklund” (who is actually a friend of mine that has a website that caters to the rumor mill). But if you are accused of being like Eklund, that’s actually not a nice slander word, especially when you are a woman who is trying to be respected in this male dominated industry of sports.
What they did to me while we waited for the announcement in July was horrible. Even the Devils players got wind of it.
I remember Patrik Elias reading the article and then reading my blog going…who is Kovalchuk talking to? There were things I had written that made it sound like I knew Kovalchuk very well…like I knew personal reasons why he would sign with the Devils. But then the New York Post would print something and it confused him. He knew Kovy was talking to someone. He just didn’t know which reporter. He would text Kovy and never received a return text.
When Kovalchuk signed, that’s when the team found out exactly who was feeding me my information to say Kovalchuk was signing with the Devils. He had given me the most coveted information in the entire NHL and I had known since March. NHL fans may remember that the summer of 2010 became the Summer of Kovalchuk because of his insane contract deal with the Devils that was rejected by the NHL. They negotiated it down to a 15-year $100 million contract.
When Kovalchuk’s son, Artem, was born, I got a text message telling me.
When I couldn’t be there at the news conference or the celebratory party after he signed with the Devils, the players made sure I was texted a photo.
Kovalchuk gave one of the only women in that locker room a huge opportunity. And I was hated for it.
David Clarkson (NHL) had complained to me at the beginning of the 2010-2011 season that I was always traveling with other teams. I never did a tour of duty with the Devils. So after whatever European trip I took with whatever teams that fall, I decided to do the California tour of duty with the team. That meant we were heading to San Jose, Anaheim and Los Angeles.
I showed up to the Anaheim game with a little sun. David asked me where I had been. I told him I went to Disneyland. He was like, “You went without me?” Yes. And I would do it again. LOL.
I say it that way, because I never allowed players to hang out with me.
When we finally headed to LA, I was met with harassment throughout the entire game. It was so bad, the players heard it from the ice. It wasn’t just about me. It was about me and Kovalchuk. Jamie Langenbrunner, who was the Devils captain at the time, was not happy over what they were saying about both of us. He tried to console me (and I never told him what happened, he heard it from the ice). He said that obviously they really wanted Kovalchuk, but apparently he was only talking to me. I printed the truth. They’re just mad because they did not like the truth.
I haven’t liked LA Kings fans since. [The irony is that Kovalchuk would later go play for the LA Kings.]
Sigh. That Kovalchuk. The journey he would take both of us on. This was just the beginning.
In 2013, faced with the NHL’s indecision of whether to allow players to go to the 2014 Olympic games in Sochi, Kovalchuk retired from the NHL to defect to Russia. Vladimir Putin was behind that. A few weeks after he retired, the NHL made their decision to go.
So what happens when fans get angry? They come at the hockey writer that they knew Kovalchuk spoke to. I had to explain that I had been saying since the 2010 Olympics that if the NHL did not decide to go to the Sochi games, Kovalchuk would defect. I told them that before he even signed that 15-year contract. And what happened? Putin gave him a cut-off date.
I still haven’t spoken to Kovy since he defected. I follow his wife on Instagram. But I haven’t reached out to him in all of these years, even after he came back to the NHL. Part of me wants to thank him for helping me in my career. The other part of me wants to say WTF. Why would you drag me through all of this with you? Why me?
Maybe some day we will run into each other and he can tell me.
The Interview
This interview is part of the growing up hockey series I liked to write and fans loved. Reading this again, I am actually impressed with the amount of research I did on Russia vs the NHL, especially centering around the time Kovalchuk was born.
I can’t remember if I got to the second part of the interview, but I remember him telling me that he knew he wanted to marry Nikol Andrazajtis when he was 18. He saw a music video for her all-girl singing group, Mirage, and he knew that was the woman he was marrying.
I used to tell him that on a scale of 10, his wife was definitely a 15. She’s super tall and like most Russian beauties, absolutely stunning.
In this interview, you will learn a little bit about Kovalchuk’s upbringing, along with the history of Russia vs the NHL. Frankly, I am amazed at what I learned in order to write this interview.
In the beginning of every dream, there is that moment that defines us in our youth. It’s the place where we find our meanings in life. They are the things that shape us into who we are and creates our destined paths that we will follow in this lifetime.
Whether it was experiencing something magical with our own eyes or following in the footsteps of a parent, these are all things that help mold us and inspire us to become who we are today.
Born during the Cold War in 1983, Ilya Kovalchuk’s humble beginnings in life took place to the north of Moscow in a place called Kalinin, a medieval city with a population of over 400,000 people. Kalinin changed its name to Tver in 1990, shortly before the Cold War ended.
On the day Kovalchuk was born (April 15), Tokyo Disneyland opened its doors for the first time and the Islanders were leading the New York Rangers 2-0 in the Patrick Division Finals.
But in the US, the relations with the Soviets were still on the iciest of terms.
The New York Times reported back on April 15, 1983 that, “People tend[ed] to accept the President’s description of the Soviet threat but reject Mr. Reagan’s strategy for meeting it, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News Poll. By about 3 to 2, those interviewed said they viewed the Soviet Union as a growing threat, but by an even bigger margin of 2 to 1 they felt that the American arms buildup would prompt only a further Soviet arms buildup and not in serious negotiations.”
It would still be another five years before the first Russian would be permitted to play in the NHL. Kovalchuk was born during a time when talks of being drafted by the NHL would result in a ban from playing hockey. Viktor Khatulev was drafted in 1975 by the Philadelphia Flyers. Soon afterwards, he was banned from playing hockey for five years after being in a fight during a game (the ban was later lifted in 1978). [Khatulev didn’t even know he was drafted by the Flyers until after the ban was lifted (1978)].
There were rumors that the ban was made in an effort to make an example of him, just in case any future Soviet players were considering disembarking to play in foreign countries. It was also an attempt to thwart the NHL from attempting to draft any future Russian hockey players.
This was the hockey world Ilya was born into… a Cold War where playing for a foreign country was betrayal to your homeland. This was a place and time where you played hockey for your country and no one else. Nationalism was instilled in each and every person from day one. It was the Cold War after all.
“I started to play when I was probably about four and a half. I started skating” Kovalchuk said of his early beginnings in hockey. “My dad convinced me to go to hockey school. It was the only one in my hometown, and I started playing.”
Valeri Kovalchuk, llya’s father, was a former Soviet pro basketball player, and one of Ilya’s most influential figures in his life. “[My dad], he [was] always with me. Hockey was his wholly favorite sport.”
Even though he was a pro basketball player, he was there every step of the way for his son out on the ice.
“He was skating with me all of the time. He was pretty good, actually. He was my challenge until like 12 years old… and then he [couldn’t] keep up with me anymore.”
Was llya the better hockey player at that age going up against his father?
With that slight smile of his where he pretends he’s not smiling, he responds in a very serious tone, “Yes. Yes, definitely.”
Ilya describes his family life as ‘normal.’ “It wasn’t any special family. My mom, she was a doctor. She works. My dad, he was director of [a] sport club. He got his own store. They spent a lot of time with me, nothing really special.”
Even though Valeri was a huge part of llya’s young hockey training, he didn’t influence his son’s decision to play hockey.
“He knows I wanted to play a top sport, so he asked me what I liked the most. At that age, probably, I didn’t understand. But he put me in all different stuff. I played a little tennis, a little basketball, a little soccer. But I liked hockey for some reason or another.”
One of the hockey players that Ilya has cited as being the reason why he wears number 17, Valeri Kharlamov, was not the reason why he became inspired to play hockey.
“No, not at that age,” he said. “When you’re four years old, you don’t even know those guys.”
His father ended up showing him a lot of tapes later on in his childhood of Kharlamov. “He passed away before I was born.”
Kharlamov died at the age of 33, in a car accident, just two years before Ilya was born. But it was that fondness that he saw his father have in Kharlamov that led him to wear his number 17.
“It was his favorite player. He showed me the videotapes. I think he’s one of the most dynamic players. He was great to watch, that’s for sure.”
Kovalchuk was five years old when the first Russian played in the NHL. At what point did the NHL factor into his decision on where he wanted to play?
“When I was 18, it was the best… it is the best league in the world, and all of the best players play here. So I was drafted and I decide to try for myself and play for the best league in the world.”
It wasn’t until 1994, at the age of 11, that Ilya got his first glimpse at an NHL game. It was the Stanley Cup playoffs … the year the Rangers won the Stanley Cup over the Vancouver Canucks. This win, of course, led to riots in Vancouver.
Who was Ilya cheering for?
“Vancouver, because [Pavel] Bure was playing there. At that time, Pavel scored a lot of goals and was one of the leaders on the team. I looked up to him.”
“[Bure’s] just one of the greatest players ever to play the game, I think. He’s just one of those guys that is fun to watch.”
[Ironically, Pavel’s father, Vladimir, an Olympic medalist swimmer, is a scout for the New Jersey Devils, and has been with the team for several years.]
Even though he watched these Russian hockey stars on television, they were not the ones that influenced him. Not even his father’s favorite player, Kharlamov, was an influence on him.
“I think the biggest influence on me is my dad… my parents, because I’m not that kind of guy who dreams about being someone [else] that has already done it and try to be the same.”
While Kharlamov was known as one of the greatest hockey players in the world, Kovalchuk did not aspire to be an even greater hockey player than him.
“You can’t compare players now and before that. He was one of the best in our generation. It’s just a different game right now. You can’t really compare. I never even think about it. You can’t be better than him. How are you going to compare who’s better? It’s impossible. It was a different time, different era, different tournament, everything was different.”
“There were greats in their time. We try to be as good as we can in our generation.” Was his dream to always be a hockey player?
“Yes. I wanted to play hockey. I wanted to play the best I can. In my hometown, we’ve got a men’s team that played as a professional team. When I was there, I liked to watch them. I wanted to be, maybe one day, in their position and try to get myself to play at their high level.”
He didn’t set his sights high with big aspirations of playing for one of the biggest leagues in the world. He set his humble dreams on his home team, because to him, they were the greatest team around.
Long before Kovalchuk caught the eye of scouts at the age of 15, he was no stranger to North America. He had visited America on several different occasions.
“We [had] a lot of tournaments here. We played in Minnesota with my Spartak team. We were like 10, 11,and 12. We were here a lot before I moved here.”
Did he like North America enough to want to move here?
“No. I never. It’s the best league here. I respect everything here, but my home is in Russia.”
Kovalchuk ended up leaving his hometown early in his teens to play for a team away from home in Moscow.
“I was playing in Moscow. My dad, he was driving me every time. I was practicing in my hometown with my team with two of the guys that were three years older than me. He was driving me to Moscow every Saturday and Sunday we had games. I would play for Spartak. But then there comes a time that you have to be with your team that you play for and practice with them, so then I moved to Moscow when I was 15.
“But then the men’s team in Spartak, the main team, was playing in the Super League at that time. Their coach told my dad that they want him to bring me up and practice with them… try to play. So I was playing, when I was 16, for the men’s team already.”
What was it like being away from his family so soon?
“It was different. It was a tough decision when my dad told me that we’ve got to do that. I think when you’re away from your parents, you’ve got to learn a lot of responsibilities and you grow up quicker.”
This entirely explains why Kovalchuk is wise and mature beyond his years.
His desire to want to play in the NHL and move to North America didn’t come until after he was drafted. “You can’t know for sure where you’re going to play. Everyone was saying that I leave too early. I was only eighteen. They said I should have played a couple more years in Russia and get better then come here. But I decided to go right away.”
Kovalchuk became the first Russian to be selected first overall in the NHL Entry Draft in 2001 by the Atlanta Thrashers. He created history in both the NHL and in Russia that day. After all, he was born into a time when being drafted by the NHL meant being banned from hockey in the Soviet Union, and there were no Russian players in the NHL.
Kovalchuk became the new future for Russian hockey players that day. He would lead the way as Russians became one of the hottest hockey commodities in the new generation of the NHL.
There are a lot of new books coming out this month. A LOT!!! From horror to cookbooks to Native American stories, you will find a whole array of new titles you will want to get your hands on.
One of my favorite new titles this month is Jo Nesbo’s The Night House. Want to get into the mind of a horror writer, plus throw Inception on top of it all? This one will creep you out. It is a great read to get you in the mood for spooky month.
The phone ate the kid!
That is all I am going to say.
I will also be picking up a bunch of copies of Yung Pueblo’s The Way Forward to give out as Christmas gifts this year. His words are just the right words needed to inspire you. It will make a great gift for those you hold dear.
I am making my way through all of the other new books coming out this month (there are a lot of them).
You can easily find all of the titles listed below at PW’s Amazon Store. [Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.]
Also, if you are looking for more spooky reads, check out the Fall Horror Books in the Book archive for some of the stories I loved this fall season.
Happy Spooky Reading!
You can order any of the titles listed above through the PW Amazon Store. [Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.]
As a new feature for Perfectionist Wannabe, I present The Interview. Here, I am sharing the stories of the people I’ve met over the years. These stories go back to the start of my professional writing career, when I was a beat reporter covering the New Jersey Devils (NHL) for Inside Hockey. Over the decade following my hockey writing career, I interviewed authors and filmmakers. Now? The Interview season begins and you will find a whole new crop of interviews from the people who made their dreams come true. These are the interviews that will help inspire you and maybe learn something new.
The Rookie Interview
The first one I am going to share is a story I needed today. As crazy as my universe is and the opportunities that arise, I came across this as I was going through my writing samples. It helped me to understand what I am going through right now. It had the words I needed during a time when I feel blocked and like everything isn’t working out right. But at the same time, I know my life is starting down a new path.
A hockey fan once told me that there were two articles in hockey journalism that he could never forget. He told me what both of them were, and I stood there going, “Wait. I wrote both of those.” He was shocked. Hell, I was shocked. I went to school for law. I didn’t go for journalism. One professor even wrote on my midterm paper, “Is English even your first language?” So to hear this diehard hockey fan tell me that his two all-time favorite hockey articles he had ever read were both articles I authored? I think he validated that what I was doing was the right thing. I was telling the stories of the people I meet.
“Madden’s Timeout” is one of the articles that I’ve heard hockey fans list as one of their favorite hockey stories. The other one was an interview I did with David Clarkson (NHL) who was playing for the New Jersey Devils at the time. A NY Rangers fan that adamantly hated Clarkson messaged me and said that the interview I did with Clarky helped him to change his mind about the guy. He, actually, became a fan of his. That’s the power of a good interview.
I wrote this piece during my rookie season. Yes, I heard the players tease Madden about me calling him a Cinderella Man in this piece, but they did so with respect to both the man and the author. This is the story that won NHL players all over the league to become regular readers of mine. It was stories like this that would have the most coveted player in the NHL tell me where he was going to sign before anyone else knew.
Sometimes people see who you are before you can even see it in yourself. They believe in you before you can learn how to believe in yourself…that you are good enough. This story is the story I needed to remind me of who I am and where I am going.
I’m thankful that Madden was stuck in his locker the entire season. He heard what was said to me. He saw how I reacted. When the moment came when people would accuse me of some misogynistic crap, he’s the one that stood up for me and allowed me to continue for years to come. For him, I am thankful. He gave me the best interview to date.
Madden’s Timeout
Published: March 14, 2009 Inside Hockey Edited: October 4, 2023
All season, I’ve watched John “Mad Dog” Madden sitting in his stall seething game after game. I always watched him, sitting there quietly awaiting any member of the press to come by and ask him a few questions. But that aura he gives off is that of a ‘mad dog’ ready to bite off anyone’s head that asks the wrong question.
Most of us have been too scared to walk up to him and ask our questions about the game. Regardless of whether we stop at his stall to talk to him or not, he sits there and waits for his ten minutes of press time to be over, like a kid sitting in timeout.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve overheard him ask the Devils communications team if his ten minutes were up and if he could leave. Those times he asked, no one from the press had stopped by to talk to him during those ten minutes. If those ten minutes weren’t over, he’d sit there and wait a little longer until someone said he could go.
After the Calgary game, as I was walking from one side of the locker room, past Madden, toward Martin Brodeur sitting a few stalls down from him, my Blackberry caught Madden’s “Are my ten minutes up, yet?” It was a little humorous to hear it on the feed, so I decided to make sure his next ten minutes in his locker room stall were more productive than his ten minute timeouts over the past few weeks.
Interestingly enough, Madden had a lot to say in those ten minutes while I sat next to him in David Clarkson’s neighboring stall. His story is not the common story we hear from most NHLers. His story is indeed a Cinderella story. Not since the legendary boxer Jim “Cinderella Man” Braddock have we seen this kind of story.
In The Beginning
Any blue collar worker or kid growing up in tough times can’t help but have a lot of admiration for Madden. He grew up in the projects of Toronto, but luckily he had a guardian angel on his side making sure that this streetwise kid grew up to become something better.
But all of that hard work during hard times gave Madden the backbone he would later need when he joined Lou Lamoriello’s team. That hard work is what gave him his work ethic that would define him as a New Jersey Devil. But it was that guardian angel that provided him with a lot of luck and opportunities.
“I was fortunate in a lot of different ways,” Madden said as he began his tale. “I was a good hockey player. So a lot of teams wanted me to play for them. A lot of teams kind of waived their fees to play. Well, I shouldn’t say kind of…they did. So that really helped out a lot.”
“I was really young,” he said about his youthful hockey start. “I can’t remember, maybe four or five years old.
“As soon as I could walk, I think my Dad threw me in skates, if I can remember correctly.” His Dad was a big part of his hockey development years. The reason why Madden is one of the best guys at the face-off circle for the Devils has to do with the fact his father forced him to practice the face-offs again and again.
“He never played professionally,” he said of his father. “But he played a lot of hockey. I remember watching him play a lot of hockey when I was young kid and going to his games all of the time, even though they were late at night. He allowed me to go and it was great.
“It was just a normal childhood growing up in a broken home. My mom did everything she could to give me the best of what I needed, and working two jobs, etcetera. She found a way and I found a way to get to the rinks, whether it was hitching a ride with a friend on a team.”
“Or taking, when I was a little bit older (maybe 13),” he said with a smile of remembrance. “I was able to take the Toronto transit system by myself if I’m allowed. I thought that was great until it got real cold out.” He then paused to laugh, “Then I didn’t think it was so great.”
“I just found a way and I was very lucky to have a lot of people help out along the way in terms of coaches. I had a coach up in Ontario named Jim Burke who really helped out a lot when I was 15/16. He really helped out with a few things and putting me up in his house and giving me guidance along the way, not only hockey but with other things.”
The College Years
After Madden graduated from high school, he headed to the University of Michigan to play for the Maize and Blue. “I was kind of surprised, to be quite honest with you,” he said about getting into college. “I was always a decent student. I never studied, but I was able to get C’s and the odd B in there. The reason why I never studied, I just never really thought about it. As long as I was getting by, I was doing alright. I spent most of my time playing hockey outside.
“I was 17/18 years old in my senior year in high school. There were, I don’t know, 15 teams that came in to watch me play. They all offered me scholarships of some sort. I was lucky to meet a guy, Assistant Coach at Michigan, Mel Pearson, who I liked a lot, and he made me feel comfortable around him. And I think that was the biggest key to going to that school. It was kind of close to home.”
University of Michigan has had a lot of great hockey players coming out of their school.
“You know what’s funny,” Madden said about Michigan. “I didn’t look at those teams back then. I was thinking ‘how far away is this from home?’ I wasn’t thinking NHL. I was thinking, ‘what if this doesn’t work out?”‘
“What was your backup plan?” I asked him.
“I didn’t have one,” he responded.
“You were taking it as it goes?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I mean, it was really weird. I kind of fell into a lot of things, obviously by hard work and being in the right place at the right time. It was just one of those things that came about. I was kind of surprised when they said scholarship. I was like, ‘what do you mean? I get to go four years there?’
“I was kind of new to that area, too. None of the guys on our team had ever gotten a scholarship or an offer. I was kind of the first guy there. Mike Bales went to Notre Dame and Jeremy Brown (from our team) went to Western Michigan. So there were a few good hockey players on our team…so there were a lot of guys that year that went to some good schools. It was all new to us. Obviously, others had good game plans. I was just going with it. I had nothing else.” (He laughs.) “I had nothing else left to do, so I was like, ‘well, let’s go with it.’ And then by sophomore year, I realized I had a really good opportunity.
“Freshman year I was kind of going through the motions. I probably wanted to go home more than anything.”
Even with those freshman jitters, during his college days, he posted some of the most amazing numbers playing for the the Wolverines.
“My freshman year was a blur, it seems like. It seems like so many things were happening, so many new things between friends, school and opening my eyes to different parts of life I never saw before. I remember wanting to go home at Michigan, but at the same time, when I got home that summer, all I wanted to do was to go back. I couldn’t wait to go back. I was like, ‘Wow! What an opportunity!’ I kind of didn’t do my best my freshman year, so I went back and had a great sophomore, junior and senior year.
“Again, I got lucky again, because I wasn’t drafted and Brendan Morrison was [drafted] for the Devils and they came to see Brendan a lot. He was the second round pick for the Devils. I just got real lucky because they really liked my game and Lou Lamoriello really liked my game. They offered me a contract right out of college, a two-way contract. The rest is just kind of history. I just kept working and I got a chance in the NHL.”
The Present (Now) is a Present (a Gift)
Madden has been a part of two of the last Stanley Cups for the New Jersey Devils. Going into the final stretch, I wanted to know if the feeling was there now, like it was the last two times the Devils won the Cup.
“It’s the same,” he replied, getting a little quieter (just in case the hockey gods were listening). “The reason why it’s the same is we know we’ve got something special going here. We’ve got a lot of things working in our favor. To win the Stanley Cup, you need a little bit of luck…a lot of luck.”
“It seems like that’s what we have here,” I replied.
“Yeah,” he continued. “We’ve got some guys that are working really hard, and a lot of key role players, and depth. I mean, depth is the key. So many guys get banged up in the playoffs and you need four or five guys to chip in and score goals. You need everybody to be accountable, you know…a lot of intangibles to hockey. It’s not just having great pitchers pitch in and give up one run and all you’ve got to get is two. There’s a lot of different things going on. We seem to be working towards that. The one thing I like about this group is that we’re tight. We’re as tight as any team that I’ve played on. They compare this tightness to the ’03 team, when Jim McKenzie and Turner Stevens were here. We were a real tight group then. We had a lot of fun and that’s what we’re doing right now. We’re having a lot of fun.”
Going forward for the remainder of the season and into the post-season, Madden said, “I hope we just continue to win hockey games and keep building. Every year, we’ve been eliminated first, second or third rounds. It’s because of the way we entered the playoffs. You know, sputtering or injury plagued…something’s always gone wrong. It’s been real difficult getting there, and we thought that once we got there, we could turn it up. But that’s not the way it works. We’ve got to turn it up and start playing some really good hockey down the stretch here. I think that’s what I’m really looking forward to is seeing the guys pick their games up as we move closer towards the playoffs.
“In the playoffs, we have high expectations. I’m sure other teams have the same high expectations. We’ve had them all year, since day one. We’re going to continue to have those, especially when we’re playing hockey.”
Tuesday’s game against the Calgary Flames is being talked about as the preview to the Stanley Cup Finals. When I spoke to Madden about it, he responded, “So they had the Devils versus Calgary? I like that!” He laughed. “If they would have said that we weren’t in the Finals, I would have told them that they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Of course, the Devils beat Calgary on Tuesday if that’s any quiet prediction of things to come.
Earlier in the season, hockey pundits said that the Devils would not be in the Finals. When Martin Brodeur went out, everyone had pitted that the Devils were going to go out and not even make it to the post-season. But instead that happened to the New York Islanders when they lost Rick DiPietro right around the same time.
“Sure. That could be expected,” Madden said of the talks of the Devils going out earlier in the season. “I mean, you know what? Winning and losing in the NHL is a thin line. A lot of it has to do with your attitude, what you expect of yourself, and what you accept. If you accept losing, you’ll lose. You’ll lose by one goal. You’ll find a way to lose when you make excuses.
“We could have made an excuse. And that’s one of the other things I really like about this team. We could have made excuses, ‘now that Marty’s not here, we’re going to lose.’ But you know what? There’s a lot of guys in this room. It was an opportunity for a lot of guys to step up and say, ‘You know what? Marty’s a great goalie. He’s going to the Hall of Fame. He’s going to beat Patrick Roy’s record. But we’re still a good hockey team.’ And I think that’s what we said.”
With Brodeur getting ready to make history, Madden said about being part of this historical moment, “It feels good. It feels great. I’ve been fortunate to play my whole career here, and Marty’s been in the net for a lot of those games. I’ve got to tell ya, it’s really reassuring. It makes you sleep well at night knowing he’s back there covering you up when you make mistakes.”
The Moral To Madden’s Story
This is where I need to explain why I am calling this a Cinderella story.
We all know Cinderella’s story of how she went from hard work, hard labor, being destitute and growing up in a broken home to being blessed by a fairy godmother that went on to help her to live happily ever after. Even before the finale of her happily ever after, she still had some feats to conquer and people wanting to harm her right as she was touching the tips of her path in life…freedom and a better life. In the end, she made her wish come true – success.
That is what a true Cinderella story is about. For us girls, we were taught the story a little differently…it was about meeting Prince Charming and finding true love. But that’s not what the story is really about. It’s about overcoming the odds of a hard childhood and reaching a dream that is bigger thanyourself. It’s about working through the trials and tribulations in life and succeeding in life when the moment arrives for you to follow your destiny. It reminds us that even the impossible is possible.
With Madden’s Cinderella story, he grew up without the privileged life. He worked hard, without ever knowing why. His effort paid off when youth hockey clubs helped him out. People put out a helping hand without asking for anything in return. He followed his path, never knowing where it was leading or what that path was. He followed his path in life without ever asking questions…he just lived it.
By some chance, luck was on his side. A guardian angel (fairy godmother) made sure to provide him with more opportunities as he walked along his path. He headed off to college (an opportunity that he didn’t think was possible) and worked hard. Someone noticed…and he gave Madden a contract to play in the NHL.
That path then led to a bigger purpose where he, along with his team, won two Stanley Cups. This has been his journey so far. He’ll have more feats to add to his Cinderella story as time moves on.
This goes to show that no matter how horrible you think your conditions are, those moments are there for a reason. They are there to help prepare you for the future so that when that moment arrives, we can change those conditions for the better. If you are ill-prepared for when that time comes, your path will not change. You will stay in those conditions until you learn the lessons you were supposed to learn before you can climb to the next rung. That is the secret to changing your circumstances.
When our moment arrives when we must follow our path in life, we will know how to handle the obstacles as they appear along the horizon. Life is about taking chances and learning from our past. Madden would not be the New Jersey Devil that he is without that hard work ethic he learned in his youth. He would not appreciate what he was doing, if he hadn’t gone home that summer and realized the amazing opportunity he had in his life. That realization later led to a hockey contract and the rest is history from there. Fairy tales do come true. That’s what Walt Disney has taught us (there’s always a deeper moral to those cartoons).
Also, as a side note to this story, those individuals that were part of his story that helped him along on his journey, it goes to show that good tidings in life towards others helps everyone in the longer run. Stepping up and helping others can go a long way. He was fortunate that people invested some of their time to him. He grew up to do the same for others.
It takes one moment to change another person’s life. Just make sure that one moment is a good moment.
To buy or not to buy a dupe? That is the question. Counterfeit bags are the it bag right now. Here’s the low down.
Walking out of my midtown NYC office after work one evening last winter, I saw a blonde woman with a kid in a stroller. Upscale. Very apparent she had money. She was running around like a maniac from one handbag street merchant to the next.
“Fake Chanel. Do you have any fake Chanel?” she asked one man at the corner.
“No. I do not sell fakes,” he responded.
At this point, I wanted to tell her where I bought mine last year while I was doing research for this article. But then I opted not to, because I enjoyed watching this woman running around frantically looking for a fake Chanel bag outside of my office. It was a strange sight: an upscale woman who, by all intents and purposes, had the appearance that she could just walk into the Chanel store and buy the real deal.
It ends up, there are a lot of women just like her running around Manhattan sporting their very fake couture handbags, because believe it or not, carrying the fake is the latest trend.
I never thought I would say that a counterfeit bag is the new “It” bag. Really. That makes me shudder. After working on my own couture handbag collection over the last decade, imagine my shock after I started doing a deep dive into the counterfeit realm and discovered that most women I’ve seen around New York City carrying their Louis Vuitton Neverfulls and Goyard tote bags were actually carrying fakes? Like why was I wasting my money on the real deal all these years?
Why? Because I met with the lawyers for Louis Vuitton when I first came to New York. They told me about their investigations into finding fake LV bags. They scared me straight into never buying fakes. They taught me the importance of buying the real thing.
That was 2005. Almost 20 years later, owning the real bag is met with backlash by the younger generation. Consumers that purchase directly through the brand (or resale) are ridiculed and accused of acting like they are far superior to those who cannot afford the bag. Basically, it has become the equivalent of the peasant throwing cake at Marie Antoinette and telling her to eat the damn cake herself, with a lot of extra anti-bourgeois expletives.
The influencers that are heralded and making a pretty penny these days are the ones that push the dupe and fake narrative. An affiliate link to the dupe they found on the Walmart app or Amazon, nets them a pretty penny, because that’s what their followers want. They want that fake Louis Vuitton bag for $30. So that is exactly what the influencer is going to find for them.
THE INFLUENCER
On a lazy Sunday morning last summer, I was perusing a Chinese marketplace app. My friend, Ethel (God rest her soul), was a big fan of the site. She was a big crafter and loved ordering the free or $1 items to add to her collection. I thought I would peruse and maybe buy some washi tape or stickers.
While I was going through the app, I noticed over and over again fake listings for fake couture bags. I kept thinking these photos can’t be real. Or maybe they’re just poor fakes. I became curious after passing the twentieth listing, so I clicked on it. No, there was no way these dupes could be that good. So I purchased something like 20 bags ranging from Christian Dior to Louis Vuitton, Bottega Veneta, Chanel and Gucci thinking I could do a piece on fake couture bags [i.e., you’re reading that article right now].
When I received the shipments, I was in shock. The bags looked exactly like the real deal. One Chanel bag even came in a Chanel box with receipts from a Chanel boutique in Hong Kong. I was just flabbergasted at how real the bags looked. I took a picture of the fake next to my real Chanel Deauville tote and asked followers to tell me which bag was real and which was fake. Everyone, except the people that worked in the fashion industry, pointed to the fake as being the real bag and the real bag as being the fake! [The pink bag in the picture is the real.]
You actually need to inspect the stitching in the logo to determine which bag is real and which is fake…and that is only if you know what you are looking for!
Two weeks after I received my bags, I was scrolling through Instagram and one of the biggest influencers I follow was showing off her new bags. I stopped and looked closely. She had five or six new bags ranging from Chanel to Bottega Veneta. I took a really good look. They were the exact same bags I just received from the Chinese marketplace app. The exact same bags right down to the color and size.
Now, how ironic is it that she had all of the same bags I just received?
That is when I realized she was one of those Influencers: a mix of fake mixed in with real. I felt like I could say, “I see you now.” And yes, I was very disappointed. I haven’t looked at her in the same way since then.
HBO Max (now Max) came out with a series called “Fake Famous.” They enlisted a handful of people and tried to create an amazing life to share on Instagram in order to help elevate them to a status where they could get sponsorships, free merchandise, and help them become famous. The experiment was cut short due to the pandemic.
The end result was that faking it to make it worked for the actress. It helped her get a few jobs, as well as free merchandise and trips. For one individual, people that knew them called them out, and the experiment failed for them. Others did not like how it made them feel. They couldn’t be their own true authentic self. It took away from who they are and the person they wanted to be.
What amazed me the most about this experiment is that it revealed just how fake Instagram can be. Influencers portray this incredible life, when it is all staged. They pay $100 to use a set, have a photographer take photos on this set, and then they post it to their Instagram. No, they are not on a private jet. That’s just a set. They’re not living in some posh mansion, they rented the room for an hour to take photos in it.
Influencers can and do fake everything they are posting. Sure, there are a few real people out there, but then there are those who will fake it to make it. In this case, this Influencer mixes her fake life in order to get a real life, instead of just being real the entire time.
This can be confusing for newcomers breaking into the TikTok and Instagram fashion influencer worlds. At Vogue World last September, I met a young TikTok fashion influencer that was just starting out. He told me that he was thinking of leaving to go to the Vogue Club party where people would be watching the Vogue World fashion show on television. I stopped him right there. He’s right where the event is happening. Those influencers watching it on television WISH they were at the actual event. Why leave to watch it on TV when you could be living it?
After I said that, he realized how foolish it was to think that. But at the same time, he was revealing something about his generation. There’s a disconnect with understanding what is real and what is fake. Do you choose the fake life to make it real? Or do you live the real life and share your journey?
Why embrace the fake couture and the fake life when you could have the real thing?
HOW DID THIS GET PAST SECURITY?
I put in a very large order through the app and expected none of them to arrive. I had this belief that Customs would see it and confiscate every single item. In a way, this was my way of testing to see if Customs was doing their job.
After the first four bags arrived, it was very apparent which packages were the counterfeit bags. Every bag was wrapped in either a gray or black plastic trash bag like material with lots of tape around it. You could pick out the packages from a sea of boxes. Customs had to have noticed, right?
Oh, every single bag made it through Customs. EVERY. SINGLE. COUNTERFEIT. BAG. To this day, I am still shaking my head that Customs didn’t infiltrate any of these bags.
What does that say about US Customs?
In an article similar to this piece, the New York Times magazine reported that in 2022, only 300,000 bags were intercepted. Considering the demand for fake couture bags, that is only about 5% of what is coming into America.
TO DUPE OR NOT TO DUPE? THAT IS THE QUESTION
For some consumers, there is no question, they are going to buy the dupe. But for hard core ethical designer lovers, they would prefer to buy the real thing. They don’t want to waste their money on fakes and put out a fake image.
Take for instance the Hermes Birkin bag. This bag is at the top of the list for all couture handbag lovers. For the longest time, this bag was the only handbag to go up in value. Owning a Birkin isn’t just a status symbol, it is also a wise financial investment. Not everyone is offered an opportunity to purchase a Birkin from Hermes. A friend of mine was offered a Birkin. He purchased it for $20,000 and flipped it 6 months later for $75,000. Not too many people can get a return like that on their investment that quickly. Because of the bag’s scarcity on the market and the brand’s limitations in the ability to purchase a bag, any bag that enters the resale market can expect a heftier price tag than if you purchased it directly from the Hermes store. Those severe markups will still sell, because people are desperate to own an Hermes Birkin bag.
Joan Rivers was a Birkin collector. She was one of the first celebrities to admit that she owned both real and fake Birkins. Another woman made famous on Good Morning America for her luxury closet was burglarized. The burglar discovered that the majority of her closet was fake and leaked it to the news. She claimed that every woman has high end, low end, and vintage items in their closet. The low end included her fakes.
In 2022, The Cut released an article on rich women who love their fake Birkins. They can afford the real Birkin, as well as a closet full of them. But these days, they’d rather spend a few hundred dollars on the fake Birkins than spend thousands on the real ones. The rich ladies of New York have made it into a contest to see who can get a Birkin that looks as close to the real thing as possible. They are one of the biggest consumers of fake luxury handbags. They even have their own fake couture parties (similar to the legendary Tupperware parties).
So if the rich ladies of New York are buying dupes and making a game of it, shouldn’t everyone else follow?
For those who love couture and are not fabulously wealthy, but can afford 1-4 bags a year, this proves to be a dilemma. They’ve spent years saving for these items and have amassed a collection, something they value. They spend a lot of time curating pieces to add to their collection, even if it takes years to acquire it. It is a collection. So adding a dupe has its ethical issues, but in 2023, they may be saying a different story.
My friend Simon and I spend a lot of time sharing our recent couture buys and the adventure that went into procuring it for our closet. We had a long discussion on the fake couture world, and this is what he had to say about it.
It takes only one time for someone to place judgment upon you. If they realize you are carrying a fake, but you are trying to act like it is real, they will consider you a fake. You’re pretending to be something you are not. Even if you carry the real thing after that, when they see you, they will always assume what you have is fake. They will spread the news that you carry fakes, because this is the opinion they have of you. It’s the Will Rogers saying, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
Letting your children play with fake couture is perfectly acceptable, so long as they only carry the real thing outside of the home. [Back to first impressions.]
But there are exceptions to this in 2023 that Simon and I both agree upon. Influencer Karen Blanchard (karenbritchick) advises her followers that it is perfectly fine to purchase the dupe or a knockoff if you want to try out a certain style before dedicating a lot of money to it. If you find you really like the bag, then she recommends investing in the real thing.
This is sage advice. I loved the Bottega Veneta Jodie and Cassette bags. They came in so many colors, so I ordered the dupes in every color. While I love the way the bags look in my closet, these are not bags I would want to invest in, because they do not properly fit the items I normally put in a bag. I am glad I took her advice on this, because I would not have been happy owning the real thing. I would have resold the bags, because they may look beautiful on the shelf, but I need something I can use.
Another reason to carry dupes in this day and age is because of the rise in crime, especially muggings. Returning to life post-pandemic, we worried a lot about carrying the real thing in Manhattan. There were plenty of stories of people being robbed in Midtown. The idea of losing a bag that costs more than our rent, meant that the girls stayed on the shelves. We carried cheap tote bags, backpacks, or purses that would not attract attention to us.
The idea of carrying a dupe in the post-pandemic world made sense, because we could still carry a similar designer looking bag and not have a heart attack if it gets stolen. One bag I love more than anything are my Fendi tote bags. I bought a dupe of the Louis Vuitton Neverfull, because it mimics the Fendi tote. I do not normally buy LV, because it feels like everyone in NYC owns LV. I got it in pink and I make sure people who comment on the bag know that it is a fake LV. That’s me being honest. Plus, all of my bags have a story. Being honest about it allows me to open up the conversation about dupes and luxury handbags.
One bag I invested in after trying out the knockoff style was Balenciaga’s Agneau bag. Back when I first moved to NYC, I saw the bag being sold by one of the guys on the corner and I picked one up in pink and aqua. I carried those two bags for years until they fell apart. I absolutely loved them. I actually did not know at the time they were Balenciaga Agneau bags. After I found out that I could upgrade to the real thing, I bought one.
Taking Karen’s advice, if you want to be a smart consumer, buy the knockoff style to try it out before you buy the real thing. Upgrade only to the bags you fall in love with. That upgrade is about buying that bag you love in better qualitative materials and craftsmanship. The bag will last you a very long time, unlike the dupe. And because you know you love the bag, you will keep it for a very long time.
THE OLD FAST FASHION VS. DESIGNER/THRIFTING ARGUMENT (I.E. THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT)
You see the argument all of the time: the environmental and human impact on buying fast fashion vs. buying the authentic designer piece. Both sides can say both play a party to the issues we face today with waste. But instead of pointing fingers away, we should ask ourselves what impact we are making in this argument.
How sustainable is the product we are purchasing? If we are trying to curb our carbon footprint, wouldn’t it be more feasible to buy vintage? Wouldn’t it also be better to choose the more qualitative piece that is designed to last a lifetime? Shouldn’t we be doing our part to keep items that have already been made out of landfills, instead of reaching for something that is newly made?
Everyone always wants what’s new and what’s within our budget range. While people flock to places like Shein, H&M, and Forever 21, after the newness wears off, a lot of those items end up in landfills and thrift stores. Some people in NYC report that the majority of items they find in thrift stores are from Shein. No one wants to purchase used Shein, knowing that the reason why it’s in the thrift store to begin with is because it is so poorly made, it did not have sustaining power to last a long time. This is true of fake bags. They are not made to last. They are meant to be a fast fashion product, marketed at a lower price for anyone to purchase, so that they can sell more product to more people.
Considering the constant problems the world is having with climate change, why contribute more to the problem? Why make new items when we have way more than enough products out there to satisfy everyone?
While I struggle with this myself (look at all the bags I bought for purposes of this article), sometimes change doesn’t start tomorrow, it starts now. You can commit yourself right now to making a difference. Focus on designers like Coachtopia or Zero Waste Daniel who are taking old products and repurposing them to create something new. They are trying to help curb their carbon imprint, while still creating something new. Buy vintage or thrifted bags. Even if you have no clue if they are real or not, buy something you love and will use.
THE PROBLEM WITH TRAVELING WITH A FAKE
If you plan on travelling internationally, keep your fakes at home. Do not travel with them. Countries like France and Italy will fine you if you are caught carrying a fake. You may think you can handle the fine, but the fine is actually more than the real bag itself. There have been reports of fines beginning at $5,000.
When I travel with couture, I have always been stopped. Customs officials in England, France, Switzerland and Italy have all inspected my handbags. My $500 Just Cavalli bag I always travel with has been inspected again and again and again for authenticity.
While fakes are becoming more and more difficult to authenticate from the real thing, unless you have the money for the fines, keep the fakes at home or just buy the real thing and travel with it. At the end of the day, if you get caught with a fake and have to pay for all of those fines, you’ll come to the harsh realization that it would have been so much cheaper if you actually purchased the real thing.
ALTERNATIVES
Instead of buying dupes, you should look into buying the real thing for less in the resale market. Look for vintage bags or try your luck in thrift stores or estate sales. I once picked up a Fendi messenger bag for $75 through an estate sale. I even got an iconic Gucci bag for $100 through a thrift find. This style of bag is relaunched every few years, so it is always in style.
If you are in the market for the real deal, go with reputable resale companies like Fashionphile or purchase through Ebay’s Authenticated merchandise. Also, try The Outnet or Net-a-Porter when they have 80% off sales. The Outnet and Yoox are both sister sites to Net-a-Porter and offer severe discounts on couture items.
The Malus Domestica series from S. A. Hunt is one of my favorite scary series. It starts with Burn the Dark, followed by I Come With Knives, and The Hellion. This series is perfect for those who love their scary books to be on the extreme side, as in explosive action featuring witches, demons, and lots and lots of scary stuff. I don’t think I will ever get that cat scene out of my head.
This is also perfect for those looking for a trans author to read and follow.
What I loved about this series was all of the explosive action, followed by everything super evil you can think of. I may end up going back to read this series again.
This series is one you need to share with everyone who loves horror. It is really, really good.
Synopsis
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina meets Stranger Things in award-winning author S. A. Hunt’s Burn the Dark, first in the Malus Domestica horror action-adventure series about a punk YouTuber on a mission to bring down witches, one vid at a time.
Robin is a YouTube celebrity gone-viral with her intensely-realistic witch hunter series. But even her millions of followers don’t know the truth: her series isn’t fiction.
Her ultimate goal is to seek revenge against the coven of witches who wronged her mother long ago. Returning home to the rural town of Blackfield, Robin meets friends new and old on her quest for justice. But then, a mysterious threat known as the Red Lord interferes with her plans…
[DISCLOSURE: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.]
For over 50 years, the Diane von Furstenberg Wrap Dress has defied the test of time.
While curating the right pieces for your wardrobe that will withstand the test of time, you should add pieces from designers that have historically proven their ability to be fashionable over several decades.
Take for instance, the Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress. In 1976, Cybill Shepherd wore the DVF wrap dress in the iconic movie “Taxi Driver.” The 1972 dress design is still going strong 50 years later. It is timeless. It is an investment piece you will not regret adding to your curated wardrobe.
The iconic dress comes in a variety of prices and styles.
When I first moved to NYC, one of my managers introduced me to the DVF dress. She picked up her dress from Ebay. She wore it through both of her pregnancies and many years afterward.
Keeping that in mind, I added the classic style, as worn by Cybill Shepherd, to my wardrobe, as well as a sleeveless version. That dress never goes out of style, no matter which pattern you get.
Warning for petite women: skip the maxi length dress (especially if there is a pattern), because the dress is very long and not easily hemmed.
[DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links. Should you click on any of the links below, I may receive a commission from the sale at no additional cost to you.]
Perfectionist Wannabe is getting a revamp this fall. Here’s what you can look forward to seeing from me and this site.
I’m back. This time, it is not temporary.
After spending the last eight months trying to create the site I dreamed of, I decided to abandon it and revamp this site. This is the only site making money from past content. I now know how to create what I want, so all I have to do is write and post. I don’t have to go through an error report from Google that is so long it makes you faint. Site maintenance may take up a lot of my time right now, but at least I get more of my time back to write and post content, as compared to the other site.
Last fall, I took a course at Conde Nast College in London. They showed me exactly how I needed to take my content and create something I am going to love as I go forward. I learned the business and marketing side of digital content creation for fashion brands, as well as for Vogue and other Conde Nast publications.
As I was going through old content to repurpose on this site, I was reminded that I need to do fluff pieces, because that is what generates money. But I also need to write the longer pieces that garnered most of my loyal followers over the years. Those are the pieces that reflect more of who I am.
With Meta’s new Threads, I can start building my new audience that I created through Instagram, and direct them over to this site, like I used to do with Twitter when I was writing about hockey.
So bear with me as I update the hundreds of articles on this site, create new content and fix/update things. For those who come here for the recipes, luckily, I saved a few of those at The Fashion Reader before I deleted the plugin here (oops!). But don’t worry. Those recipes will be back up soon. After all, this is where I go to find those recipes I love.
There will be one small change to the recipes. I HATE those long ass narratives people write before a recipe. I just want to get to the recipe already! So I’m only going to add a few words at the beginning and then you’ll find the recipe. You won’t even have to scroll down the page to get to the beginning of the recipe card.
If there’s a recipe you loved and can’t find it on the site, ping me, because it may not have survived the plugin deletion. Hopefully, I’ll have the recipe somewhere and can upload it for you.
So that’s housekeeping matters.
What’s New in My Universe
So my friend and filmmaker Edwin Walker messaged me last month asking me what was going on in my universe, because he sensed something was up. He was in the middle of an interview with The Boston Globe and he told them they needed to contact me. When he left a voice message on what happened, it was like he realized, the universe is strong around her. She’s working on something.
He would be correct.
I am currently working on two book projects simultaneously. I also started selling books online. Ends up, there are a lot of people out there willing to spend 3-figures on special edition books and autographed copies. So I’m selling my collection.
Between the day job, two book projects, Matthew’s Book Corner, and this site, I’m up to 5 of 7 streams of income. When I start clearing my closet, that will be the 6th stream of income.
I am at that stage in life when I feel like less is more. I have so much stuff. I am tired of carrying those things around with me in life, so I am letting it go. Maybe I’m just preparing myself for the next stage in life…my new journey. Getting rid of the things that clutter up that new path is important.
In the coming months, you’ll find an updated interview with Edwin Walker. We’re also working on a few different projects together, so stay tuned. It’s fall season, so it’s horror book season for me and many others. Each week, PW will be showcasing a new title or two you should get your hands on.
I started a new series on here that the Gen Z’ers (and a few Millenials) were asking me for, and that is an Adulting 101 column. I started them off with one that has been making the rounds: starting a Sick Day Pantry.
As for the fashion portion, I’ve been going back and forth with this topic for some time. There was something Conde Nast loved from the assignments I turned in and that was BOOKS + FASHION. They loved how I styled fashion pieces with books. It even got the attention of Instagram and they emailed me and said I needed to create more posts like that. Recently, I’ve seen Marc Jacobs post something weekly on what he’s currently reading. So yes, there is an interest in these types of posts, but I can’t tell you how much time goes into creating ONE PHOTO. That’s actually why I don’t do it often. [I have a lot of things to do!]
Going through what people are actually reading on this site when it comes to fashion, I’ve found that people want to know what to buy that is fashionable and worth investing in. As in, what will withstand the test of time? I’ve been working on my wardrobe for the last 20 years. I’ve picked up on a few things about what to invest in that will withstand the test of time. Some of those items I even picked up at a thrift store and it’s still going strong (and they’re over 50+ years old). The most important thing when building your wardrobe is learning what your style is. I have different versions of myself. I have the side that goes to premieres and red carpet events. I have the fashion industry side (which demands more couture and designer pieces). I have the everyday work, at home, and film festival wardrobes. So my closet represents me and the things I do, but it also allows me enough leeway to reinvent the look, so it doesn’t get boring. Accessories will always be one of the most important items you will ever add to your closet, but it is important to buy the right things, not the items that will be out of style in a few years.
There’s also been a request that I get in front of the camera more. Going back to how much time goes into that (and I have a lot of things to do), that is yet to be seen if I will do that. But talking to some of my actor friends, you may see them on this site wearing designer clothes and holding books, instead of me. Only time will tell.
So bear with me as this site gets a revamp. Content will be continuously flowing, and this space will be continuously evolving. It’s a post-pandemic world and my new universe means following my dreams.
Malice House by Megan Shepherd is the perfect horror book for those who love their horror mixed in with a little fantasy and supernatural.
For horror writers and artists of macabre, maybe our worst nightmare is seeing our work come alive and do what it was created to do: kill in the most gruesome of ways.
I received Malice House last year when I was in the middle of taking a course at Conde Nast College in London, so I wasn’t able to get to it then. When I finally sat down to read it last month, I sat there thinking, “Look at you, Megan Shepherd. Scaring the hell out of me was not what I was expecting from this.”
I love a good horror story, especially when I wasn’t expecting to be scared at all. For me, being scared all lies with me walking away and thinking about what the author just whispered to me in between those pages. Did I carry it with me, mull it over, and think, “Yeah, that shit was scary?” I did with this one.
The scare factor lies in those creatives (or those, like me, who are writing a horror romance novel) who would be petrified if their scariest creations came to life and they went on a killing spree and there’s no natural way to stop them. It is kind of like the Jason, Freddie Krueger, and Michael Myers genre where you can’t kill them. They’ll keep coming back.
So if that’s your kind of scare factor, this is your next read.
“One step away from our world lies another: a land of violent fantasies, of sharp-toothed delights. . . .”Of all the things aspiring artist Haven Marbury expected to find while clearing out her late father’s remote seaside house, Bedtime Stories for Monsters was not on the list. This secret handwritten manuscript is disturbingly different from his Pulitzer-winning works: its interweaving short stories crawl with horrific monsters and enigmatic humans that exist somewhere between this world and the next. The stories unsettle but also entice Haven, practically compelling her to illustrate them while she stays in the house that her father warned her was haunted. Clearly just dementia whispering in his ear . . . right?
Reeling from a failed marriage, Haven hopes an illustrated Bedtime Stories can be the lucrative posthumous father-daughter collaboration she desperately needs to jump-start her art career. However, everyone in the nearby vacation town wants a piece of the manuscript: her father’s obsessive literary salon members, the Ink Drinkers; her mysterious yet charming neighbor, who has a tendency toward three a.m. bonfires; a young barista with a literary forgery business; and of course, whoever keeps trying to break into her house. But when a monstrous creature appears under Haven’s bed right as grisly deaths are reported in the nearby woods, she must race to uncover dark, otherworldly family secrets—completely rewriting everything she ever knew about herself in the process.
[DISCLOSURE: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of review. The opinions expressed here are by no means influenced by the publisher or the author. This post contains affiliate links. Should you click on the link and purchase the product, I may receive a commission from the sale at no additional cost to you.]
The Nightmare Man by J. H. Markert was my first five star read of 2023. As a writer, I think this one scared me more than most horror books because the idea that your horror story could come to life scared the crap out of me. This scary story is for those who fear their own nightmares.
For parents, if you could find a way to save your children from having recurring nightmares, you would help them, right?
What appears to be a miracle for children to have their nightmares removed turns into a real-life nightmare for them as adults when their nightmares start hunting them. More and more people are found dead, and they all have one thing in common.
This debut made me such a huge fan of this author. Finding the next master of horror is a difficult task in and of itself. To find a story that just scares the crap out of you and it be delivered so well…I mean, how can you not become a fan?
I will say, I will be reading all of his books. His next book, Mister Lullaby, releases on November 21, 2023. That is a book I plan on adding to my collection alongside The Nightmare Man.
Synopsis
Blackwood mansion looms, surrounded by nightmare pines, atop the hill over the small town of Crooked Tree. Ben Bookman, bestselling novelist and heir to the Blackwood estate, spent a weekend at the ancestral home to finish writing his latest horror novel, The Scarecrow. Now, on the eve of the book’s release, the terrible story within begins to unfold in real life.
Detective Mills arrives at the scene of a gruesome murder: a family butchered and bundled inside cocoons stitched from corn husks, and hung from the rafters of a barn, eerily mirroring the opening of Bookman’s latest novel. When another family is killed in a similar manner, Mills, along with his daughter, rookie detective Samantha Blue, is determined to find the link to the book—and the killer—before the story reaches its chilling climax.
As the series of “Scarecrow crimes” continues to mirror the book, Ben quickly becomes the prime suspect. He can’t remember much from the night he finished writing the novel, but he knows he wrote it in The Atrium, his grandfather’s forbidden room full of numbered books. Thousands of books. Books without words.
As Ben digs deep into Blackwood’s history he learns he may have triggered a release of something trapped long ago—and it won’t stop with the horrors buried within the pages of his book.
[Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of a review. All opinions are my own and are not influenced in any way by the author or the publisher. This post contains affiliate links. Should you click on the link and make a purchase, I will receive a commission at no additional cost to you.]
This morning, while I was outside with Matthew (the Maine Coon), I opened up my Notes app to jot down my to do list for today. Apparently, I haven’t used the app in some time because I found a note I left in there that I would apparently need the next time I opened up the app. It contained Anthony Hopkins’s “Powerful Words.”
It’s funny how the universe works, especially when it concerns matters of the soul. The note was something I left for myself because it concerned one particular person.
When I left the note for myself a couple of years ago, I was frustrated at the time. Things didn’t work out. The universe prevented me from doing the things I hoped to do (like move to France at that time). But now I see why the universe was stopping me. Certain things needed to happen first, and it had nothing to do with me.
The same quote kept popping up yesterday for me. It said that just because things don’t happen when you want it to, it doesn’t mean it is not going to happen. Things happen when the moment is right.
When I saw this note this morning, I had to say to myself this was never about me and how I felt. This was about the person I was thinking of when I saved it. The universe made sure I saved these words so I could share these words when the moment was right. The Universe is always making sure we find the right words when the people dear to our souls need to hear the Universe speak, especially when the Universe is working its magic.
ANTHONY HOPKINS – Powerful Words
′′Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want change.
Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.
When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn’t mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren’t ready to accompany you.
If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don’t do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.
That’s what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are.
The more time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection to someone else.
There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet with you at your level of interest and commitment.
The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you stay away from the community you want.
Maybe if you stop showing up, you won’t be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it. This is not love, it’s attachment. It’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t deserve it. You deserve so much, there are people who should not be in your life.
The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence.
When you realize this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be around you, your energy is stolen.
You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and for everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′compatible′′ people are allowed.
You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It’s not your work to exist for people and give your life to them! If you feel bad, if you feel compelled, you will be the root of all your problems, fearing that they will not return the favours you have granted. It’s your only obligation to realize that you are the love of your destiny and accept the love you deserve.
Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment, true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything begins to change. Don’t waste time with people who are not worth it. Change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.”
When the publisher first sent this book to me for review, I thought it was funny, because I am the black sheep of my family. I’ve even posted about it on my social media accounts. Usually, those who find themselves to be estranged from their families is because of their religious and/or political differences. Oftentimes, in America, both are synonymous with each other.
When I went into this novel, I assumed that this cult-like family would be Christian. Oh, imagine my surprise when the cult happened to be Satanists. Now, you have my attention.
After reading this book, I guess it doesn’t matter what religion you are from. All cults are the same. They have the same issues that affect families. People become brainwashed with scriptures as they learn how not to love the people they are supposed to love. That’s why there are black sheep out there. We know life was meant to be better than this. We deserve to be loved.
For those who are looking for a horror book featuring the Devil, this is your Perfectionistwannabe.com Horror Pick for the fall season. The ending is as epic as any ending you would expect from a book about the Devil trying to bring an end to the world.
Synopsis
A cynical twentysomething must confront her unconventional family’s dark secrets in this fiery, irreverent horror novel from the author of Such Sharp Teeth and Cackle.
Nobody has a “normal” family, but Vesper Wright’s is truly…something else. Vesper left home at eighteen and never looked back—mostly because she was told that leaving the staunchly religious community she grew up in meant she couldn’t return. But then an envelope arrives on her doorstep.
Inside is an invitation to the wedding of Vesper’s beloved cousin Rosie. It’s to be hosted at the family farm. Have they made an exception to the rule? It wouldn’t be the first time Vesper’s been given special treatment. Is the invite a sweet gesture? An olive branch? A trap? Doesn’t matter. Something inside her insists she go to the wedding. Even if it means returning to the toxic environment she escaped. Even if it means reuniting with her mother, Constance, a former horror film star and forever ice queen.
When Vesper’s homecoming exhumes a terrifying secret, she’s forced to reckon with her family’s beliefs and her own crisis of faith in this deliciously sinister novel that explores the way family ties can bind us as we struggle to find our place in the world.
Pub Date: September 19, 2023
[DISCLOSURE: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of review for this site. All opinions are my own and are in no way influenced by the author or the publisher. This site contains affiliate links. If you click on any of the affiliate links, I may receive a commission from the sale of the product at no additional cost to you.]
The temperatures are starting to drop. People are running to pick up their pumpkin spiced lattes. For us bibliophiles who love spooky season, we are looking for every new and old scary book we can get our hands on to commemorate every thing we love about fall.
To start off the spooky season, I have a new title for you that is set to be released on September 5th called The September House. This book is for all those who love the haunted house and murderous ghosts vibe. This is for those who love The Haunting of Hill House.
Throughout most of this book, you may think it is comical how an older couple with a grown daughter could purchase a beautiful haunted Victorian and not care one lick that it is haunted. The wife loves the house so much that she will put up with the blood running down the walls every September. She will tolerate all of the ghosts that look the way they did when they were murdered. She can even put up with the priest that comes every other month to sanctify the house from whatever evil lurks in the basement.
Even when her husband goes missing, she does not bat an eyelash that something could be amiss, because she has her dream house. She can live with the ghosts, so long as she has her perfect Victorian.
But things start to go all sorts of wrong when her daughter starts asking for her father. He has not returned any of her calls. She is getting tired of hearing her mother make up excuses on why her father won’t come to the phone or return her calls. So she decides to show up right when the September season is in full swing, when the house is at its worst.
As the daughter begins to think her mother is suffering from dementia and is seeing things, the police show up thinking that she’s killed her husband. Yet, the house decides to take matters into its own hands to prove that it isn’t just haunted, there’s an evil being living in its basement. It plans on killing everyone in the house.
As you read through this book, stick with it until the end, especially if you love the good ole gory stories. What may seem as all innocent and comical at the beginning, can turn into a complete bloodbath at the end.
That’s the part I was not expecting from this. You hope it will turn out that way, but you start to give up hope that it will. Maybe it is just a feel good kind of haunted house story. Oh no. It turns into a bona fide bloodfest horror story towards the end, sure to make any horror lover happy.
Synopsis
A woman is determined to stay in her dream home even after it becomes a haunted nightmare in this compulsively readable, twisty, and layered debut novel.
When Margaret and her husband Hal bought the large Victorian house on Hawthorn Street—for sale at a surprisingly reasonable price—they couldn’t believe they finally had a home of their own. Then they discovered the hauntings. Every September, the walls drip blood. The ghosts of former inhabitants appear, and all of them are terrified of something that lurks in the basement. Most people would flee.
Margaret is not most people.
Margaret is staying. It’s her house. But after four years Hal can’t take it anymore, and he leaves abruptly. Now, he’s not returning calls, and their daughter Katherine—who knows nothing about the hauntings—arrives, intent on looking for her missing father. To make things worse, September has just begun, and with every attempt Margaret and Katherine make at finding Hal, the hauntings grow more harrowing, because there are some secrets the house needs to keep.
Get Your Copy
The September House is out on September 5th. This book is the first in this year’s Perfectionist Wannabe’s Horror Picks for the fall season. There will even be a few witchy books (that may not be scary, but are excellent reads for those who love the season, but hate the scare factor). Stay tuned for more finds and suggestions from now until Halloween. Happy Haunting!
[DISCLOSURE: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of a feature on this site. All opinions are my own and are in no way shaped by the author or the publisher. This post also contains affiliate links. That means that should you purchase the book in the link, I may receive a commission from the sale at no additional cost to you.]
This story is not about Medusa. This is a story about Medusa’s sisters; and they have their own stories to tell.
Medusa’s Sisters by Lauren J. A. Bear is a retelling of the stories of the gorgons, the gods, and humanity during Ancient Greek times, but with a little spin. This story is not about the legendary Medusa. This story is about her sisters, Stheno and Euryale.
From their birth, these triplets became a part of each other’s fates, the good and the bad. They are not monsters born from Titans. They are born with the same shape as humans and the gods of Olympus. Only Medusa is mortal, while her sisters are immortal.
Stheno, the eldest, is their protector. Euryale, the middle child, is just a woman yearning to fall in love and to live in the world of the gods. Medusa, the youngest, is the one everyone loves.
As the sisters watch the devastation of Pandora’s jar to Zeus creating humans over and over again until he gets it right, they one day decide to join the world of the humans in Thebes. After Thebes, it’s Athens.
It is in the land of Athena that they meet their doom of not only Medusa’s demise, but their own. All three sisters turn into gorgons. This is where the true tale of Stheno and Euryale begin.
They watch as Perseus takes the head of their sleeping Medusa, unable to stop him. They witness Pegasus and Chrysaor emerge from her decapitated body. After Medusa’s death, Stheno and Euryale continue to live on their island of Sarpedon. This is where they plot their revenge.
Thoughts
If you are like me, you probably know the Clash of the Titans version of Medusa’s story. I did not know she had sisters who were also turned into gorgons after Poseidon raped Medusa on the altar of Athena’s temple. Nor did I know that Medusa was pregnant with Poseidon’s children and Pegasus was a result of that rape (or that Pegasus had a twin).
Also, I did not know that Orion is the son of Euryale and Poseidon. In other words, I learned a lot from this retelling. I fact checked a lot of the elements in the story I did not know about, and those facts checked out. Hollywood really changed the story of Medusa, and I am not OK with that.
Medusa’s Sisters vindicates Medusa and her sisters. They are the victims. This book uses the actual myth from the original stories, and it does not stray too far from it. I do like, though, the one change where the sigil of Medusa’s face on Athena’s shield isn’t meant to be looked at as Athena honoring Medusa. It is meant for the goddess to remember what she did to their sister. Euryale painted the sigil onto Athena’s shield so she would remember how she had destroyed the woman she loved, all because she thought Medusa betrayed her.
Within this story, is the story of Orion and his dog Sirius. Oh, how I loved their story. I loved the tale of a boy and his dog. The tears were flowing when Orion was killed and then the gods chose to honor him and Sirius by placing them in the stars above Sarpedon, so Euryale could see them every night. [I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.]
Even in great tragedy, there is beauty. In sorrow, we find healing, even from our own enemies. This book is a wonderful tale of sisterhood, motherhood, and family. It is a story of love, hope, and strength.
For those who love tales of Ancient Greece, you will definitely enjoy this story.
[DISCLOSURE: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of a book review on this site. My opinions are my own, and are in no way influenced by the publisher. Should you choose to purchase the book or the movie through one of the links in this post, I will receive a commission from the sale at no additional cost to you.]
This slow cooker Portuguese ribs recipe is my favorite ribs recipe. Cooking them in the slow cooker (aka crock pot) makes the meat just fall off the bones. That’s what I love about a good ribs recipe…the ribs just fall off the bone!
Another thing I love about this ribs recipe is that there’s a vinegary and spicy flavor to them. This is the only way I make ribs. No other recipes I’ve encountered can compare to this one. It’s been a tested and true loved recipe in my home. I’ve been making it since 2017.
Slow Cooker Portuguese Ribs
This is my all-time favorite ribs recipe. This spicy and vinegary recipe is a keeper. You'll love how the meat just falls off the bones.
1rackribs(3-4 lbs, depending on the size of your slow cooker)
1/4cupwhite wine(you can use cooking wine, or wine vinegar)
2clovesgarlic(chopped)
1tbspsalt
1tbsppaprika
1tspgarlic powder
1tspcumin
1tspblack pepper
1tbspPiri Piri[substitution: Tabasco sauce]
1cupketchup
3tbspbrown sugar
1tspgranulated sugar
1tbspworcestershire sauce[substitution: soy sauce or coconut aminos]
1tbspPiri Piri[substitution: Tabasco sauce]
1tbspwhite vinegar
Instructions
[Prep ribs]. Place ribs in crock pot. Pour wine over the ribs and rub the chopped garlic over the ribs. Place cover over the crock pot and let the ribs marinate in the refrigerator for 1 hour.
[Mix the seasonings]. Meanwhile, in a small bowl mix the salt, paprika, garlic powder, cumin, black pepper and Piri Piri (or Tabasco sauce), until you have a paste. Set aside.
After the ribs have marinated for an hour, take the ribs out of the refrigerator, and rub the spices into the spare ribs using your fingers.
Cook ribs on the High setting.
[Prepare the BBQ Sauce]. Mix together the ketchup, brown sugar, sugar, worcestershire sauce, piri piri and white vinegar. Put aside.
At the 1 hour and 15 minute mark, add the BBQ sauce to the ribs.
Cook for another 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours (or until the meat is falling off of the bone).
