A Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving Valentine’s Day

Well, ladies, I can’t say I’m officially a single girl, because that’s not true.  But I am spending Valentine’s Day alone this year, just like every year.  My guy is out in the sand dunes of the Sahara Desert, so I don’t plan on spending this American holiday with him.  I actually won’t get to see him until July (or August). 

Spending another V-Day alone seems like disaster right?  I’m sure some of us can attest to having had one of those boyfriends that either mysteriously disappears around every major holiday that requires him to spend money (Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day)…or breaks up with you right before said holiday, gets back with you after the holiday and then dumps you again before the next holiday and then is back again after said holiday.  Yes, I’ve had one of those losers.  It took me a couple of years to figure out what he was doing. 

Then there are those that are discourteous…you end up buying everything for V-Day…you even make the romantic dinner…sit at the table and wait…and he doesn’t show up until 1AM. 

Oh yes, the crappy boyfriends that have us thinking that we’re better off single with the way they treat us.

Not all men are that way.  I still have yet to date a guy that was actually there for all holidays…so I’m used to spending every single holiday by myself or with friends. 

This year is a little different though…he actually has a solid excuse…he’s in Morocco and physically can’t be here for the holiday.  So that still leaves me as a solo practitioner on Valentine’s Day.  Rest assured…if I’ve survived the holiday every single year of my adult life ALONE…you can too.  

Here are some ideas to how you can make your Valentine’s Day a great one.

1.  FOCUS ON ME Instead of expecting someone else to make your Valentine’s Day a day you would LOVE, why don’t you do something for yourself and make it a “ME” Day?  Every year, since I’ve been in NYC, I’ve made a spa appointment to Bliss Spa.  I go there once a year, and this is the only time of year when I go. 

I’ll book some really cool treatment, a massage and a waxing.  I end up leaving so relaxed, forget needing a guy to relax you into bliss…let someone else knead the stress out of your body and pamper you from head to toe. 

2.  Along with focusing on ME, a stop at Tiffany & Co. may brighten your day.  Can’t afford Tiffany?  Well, take a look at their website.  Right now, I have my eye on the Jitney Tote in Tiffany Blue.  Retail is $495, but I’m justifying this hefty purchase with the thought that I would be a seriously happy camper with this bag on my arm.  For those who don’t want to spend as much…consider buying something for the home from Tiffany & Co.  You can buy stemware for $20 per glass, a crystal bowl for $30,  or a mug for $35.  You can even buy a scarf for $50.

Jewelry on your mind?  Well, you’ll have to splurge for that one…but you can get this Tiffany Hearts Pendant for $100.

For those really wanting a Tiffany & Co. deal, try to search for used/like new items on Bonanza.com and ShopGoodwill.com.  I’ve received plenty of Tiffany & Co. home products through ShopGoodwill.com in the past.  I even scored an Hermes toucan plate!

3.  Buy YOUR FAVORITE flowers.  I always hated getting red roses.  I always thought that the guy put ZERO thought into the gift.  I remember once telling the ‘disappearing act’ that it would be nice if he just stopped and picked up a $3 bouquet from off one of the street vendors.  You know…that didn’t even work! 

Instead of wishing that the guy would buy your favorite flower, order them online to be delivered to you on Valentine’s Day…OR just pick up a bunch on your way home. 

Even the day after Valentine’s you’ll find serious markdowns on flowers that you can buy in mass quantities to beautify your home.  Order your favorites to be delivered, and then bulk up the day after V-Day for your home.  Trust me, seeing flowers next to your bed first thing in the morning will brighten up your day.

Personally, I just prefer picking the flowers out myself and bringing them home with me on V-Day.

But if you want to know what the best gift is?  Sending flowers to your closest friends (whether they are single or with someone).  This day is about LOVE, and one thing’s for sure, I love my girlfriends like they’re my sisters…so sending flowers to them, especially if they are single, will surely brighten their day! 

4.  ORDER IN.  What’s your favorite takeout?  Order from them and let them deliver it to you.  DO NOT…ABSOLUTELY…DO NOT offer to pick it up on your way home.  You would be a glutton for punishment if you were to attempt to do that. 

Whether it’s pizza or Thai food (my personal fave), make plans to order in.  Don’t attempt to meet the girls at a fave locale, because you’ll regret it.  Why?  1) Good luck finding a table, 2) Why torture yourself with the lovey dovey crap around the restaurant, 3) Why sit around watching other couples?

Just plan on a night in.  If you can’t do it alone, invite the girls over and order takeout delivery, buy a bottle of wine, and throw in a cheesy chick flick.  Girls Night Out! 

5.  Be Smart About the Chick Flick.  I don’t recommend watching an I HATE MEN chick flick.  I recommend watching a chick flick that inspires you to be open to love.  “Love Actually” comes to mind.  If I’m not at the spa on V-Day, that’s my go-to film…or Notting Hill.  I like that they’re not necessarily from the woman’s point of view, but from the man’s point of view…or both.  Love Acutally is unbiased because it covers all spectrums of love. 

Do not put in a Jane Austen flick (God help you if you do).  If you must, at least put in Sex and the City. 

Don’t put in any kind of movie that will make you hate yourself after you finish watching it.  Watch a movie that will inspire you from February 15th and on to find the love that you are looking for.  Don’t start the 15th off in an “I HATE MEN” mode…start it off knowing what it is you want.  That’s why I say watch an inspiring chick flick.

6.  When in doubt, MEDITATE.  I actually started doing this on Valentine’s Day three years ago.  I learned something about myself and what I was looking for when it came to love.  The perfect guy for me…he’s the guy that was spiritually in tune to the universe like I was.  I was looking for a soulmate…not just love. 

I wanted someone that I could connect with through my heart and soul.  Crazy that what I was looking for…I had to go all the way to the friggin Sahara Desert to find…and he had to be a Muslim Arab.  Irony, right?  Luckily for me, he’s more spiritual than he is a devout Muslim.  We connected in ways that had me realizing that the kind of love I was always asking for was the kind of love story that God could write with his own hand in the stars above.  For it was gazing at the stars above that had me standing still in a moment to realize that my soul had connected with the man sitting next to me. 

I think Hamid knew when he first saw me that I was the one.  It would explain why he forbade all single men from taking me out into the desert to watch the sun setting.  I had three different guides before the only married one of the bunch took me to the top of the dunes.  I saw Hamid watching from the tents to make sure nothing happened.  He knew before I did. 

It takes a lot of fighting with God about how THE ONE has never shown up, to actually admitting to yourself that what you’re looking for is a tall order…and in time (the right time, I might add), he’ll make his appearance known to you…when you’re both ready.

When I realized Hamid was the person I was searching for, it was that silent moment where you’re standing still that you realize that you’re standing before God and he’s giving you the exact thing that you’ve been waiting for all of your life…that’s when it happens. 

It was through meditation that I came to terms with past loves and let go of them.  It was through meditation that I discovered what I was truly looking for in a mate.  It was through meditation that I learned to love again.

Meditating on V-Day about love was probably the smartest thing I ever started doing.  I eventually found love…and I found it because I was open to possibilities.  I was open to the possibility that love was sitting right next to me…if only I would look to my right and see him sitting right there. 

It takes faith in God, a lot of meditation, and being open to the possibility that sometimes what you think is what you want is not what you need…God knows what you need better than you do.  And God writes better fairy tales than you ever will.

7. Cupcakes, anyone?  Ok…so bon bons are the IT thing for V-Day.  But you know what truly brings a smile to our faces?  CUPCAKES!  Oh, in NYC we are spoiled.  We have Magnolia Bakery, Sprinkles, Crumbs…oh, the list goes on. 

Chocolates may have a special place in our hearts, but cupcakes make us SUPER HAPPY! 

So stop and buy yourself a half a dozen, or a dozen minis (I like the minis from Crumbs…comes in lots of different flavors).  Nothing says loving like a cupcake!

8.  Buy yourself something SEXY!  Who says we can’t try and be a vixen when we’re solo?  Ok…in all honesty, just pull on your favorite PJs and curl up on the sofa for Love Actually.  We’d really feel more comfortable, right? 

If you go the all sexy route…make sure there are toys nearby.  Just saying…

9.  Want to curl up to a good book?  Well, make sure you have your fave cocktail in hand (see 10 for a special cocktail).  For me, since I’m missing my desert beau, I’ve been reading “The Oracle of Stamboul” by Michael David Lukas.  It hasn’t turned into a love story…yet, but it reminds me of Morocco.  I’ll admit that it’s hard to turn Morocco off when I stop reading and I’m walking around NYC.

Another good book to curl up to is “The Help” (if you haven’t read it yet).  It’s one phenomenal story. 

For those who just want a Harry Potter’ish novel, try picking up any of the beginning books from the Rick Riordan series.  There are 2 series.  One is the Percy Jackson series, the other is the Kane chronicles.  Another great series is the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel from Michael Scott.  The series starts off with The Alchemyst.  Great read! 

Notice the theme?  I’m steering you towards great stories that will  capture your attention and keep you away from the Jane Austen/love stories out there [do not read Jane Austen on V-Day].

10. How about a Cocktail?  Ok…so maybe the non-alcoholic variety, but oh, so good (you do have to go to work the next day):

Peach Prosecco Spritzer (from Epicurious)

  • 2 ripe peaches (about 1 1/2 pounds total), pitted and coarsely chopped
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons sugar, or to taste
  • 1 (750-ml) chilled bottle Prosecco or other sparkling wine
  • About 1 1/2 cups seltzer or club soda, chilled
  • Garnish: mint sprigs


Purée peaches with lemon juice and 1 1/2 tablespoons sugar in a blender until smooth. Blend in more sugar if desired. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a pitcher, pressing on and then discarding solids. Stir in Prosecco.

Pour into 8 (10-ounces) glasses filled halfway with ice. Top off with seltzer.

11.  Take a long soak.  Light up the candles, curl up with a good non-romantic book and take a long soak in the tub.  Put on your favorite lotion afterwards (or buy something new you’ve always wanted to try)…and just chill.
Now, for the healthy chicas that are uber nuts about the calories they consume and the workouts they’re not doing…why not…
  1. Head to the gym (who knows, you might meet a single guy while running on the treadmill).
  2. Hit up the juice bar (the guy behind the counter may be a cutie)
  3. Cook up a good, healthy meal…find a recipe and try something new
  4. Go for a long run (I’ve heard lots of stories about runners meeting their mates running in Central Park)
  5. Grab your ice skates and go skating (there’s always a cute guy around)
  6. Try the spa…trust me, your body will thank you for it later.


So ladies, prep yourself…that blasted day is almost here!  You’ll survive it…if you put the main focus on YOU!  Just keep reminding yourself that you never do anything for YOU, so today is going to be all about YOU.  It is your own personal ME day and you’re going to spend it doing stuff that makes you feel loved right down to the very core.  That is your one and only focus on February 14th…it’s all about YOU loving YOU all day long.

About Michelle Kenneth

Michelle Kenneth is the voice behind PerfectionistWannabe.com.