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Category Archives: Etc.

Take My Hand: A Look into Forced Sterilization of Poor and Marginalized Groups

16 April 202216 April 2022

When I first read a few years ago that women detained by Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) in detention centers were being sterilized involuntarily, I thought that cannot be true.  After reading “Take My Hand” by Dolen Perkins-Valdez, I now understand the US Government has been using sterilization on the poor, especially on people of color over the last 100 years.  And I’m mad as hell about it.

“Take My Hand” is a historical fiction novel loosely based on the 1973 Relf v. Weinberger case where two sisters, ages twelve and fourteen, were sterilized without their consent in Montgomery, Alabama by a federally funded agency.  In this story, we follow Civil Townsend, a nurse hired by a clinic to help women and girls with their reproductive health.  She believes that all women and girls should take care of their reproductive health.  Her mission is to help them.

She is responsible for administering Depo-Provera shots to two girls living in a one room shanty where they live with their father and grandmother.  They live in complete squalor. 

The girls are ages 11 and 13.  The youngest does not speak and has developmental issues.  When Civil learns that the youngest has not even had her first menstrual cycle, she questions why the girl is required to receive birth control.

Her friend, Ty, informs her the shot is not FDA approved and causes cancer in animal subjects.  This alarms Civil and she realizes this may be similar to the Tuskegee experiments.  She decides to stop giving the girls the shots and either get them on birth control pills or altogether stop administering birth control to them since they are not sexually active.

But her supervisor is monitoring the situation and notices the doctored reports.  She shows up at the girls’ home and gets dad and grandma (both cannot read) to sign a slip of paper to take the girls to the ‘clinic’ for their shots.  At least, that’s what they thought they were signing.

When Civil visits to let the youngest girl know she got her into a special school, she discovers the girls were taken to a hospital to be sterilized.  By the time she gets to the hospital, it’s already too late.

Ty’s parents are lawyers and decide to help the family get justice for what has happened.  A young white man is assigned to the case to help them.  It catches the eye of Senator Ted Kennedy and he brings the family to Washington, DC to tell a Senate committee what happened.  The story makes national news and more stories surface from across the nation of women and girls forced to be sterilized by federally funded agencies.

Reports appear of mothers in the midst of childbirth forced to sign papers that will allow the doctor to sterilize them after the birth of their child.  The doctors threaten to not deliver the child if they refuse to sign the papers.  In California, doctors report that poor Hispanic women are forcibly sterilized.  More and more stories come to light as to how bad the situation really is.

We have found that sterilization is the rule, not the exception.  It is widely endemic in this country.  It is a form of reproductive control.

Last year we did a survey and found that although two-thirds of federally funded clinics’ patients were white and only one third are Black, 43 percent of those sterilized are Black.  A report from the United States government…found that between the summer of 1972 and the summer of 1973, twenty-five thousand adults were sterilized in federally funded clinics.  Of these, 153 were under the age of eighteen.

“Take My Hand” is terrifying and shocking as you learn that this atrocity happened and continues to happen.  This is a war waged against women, especially those who are poor.

Our bodies belonged to us.  Poor, disabled, it didn’t matter.  These were our bodies, and we had the right to decide what to do with them.  It was as if they were just taking our bodies from us, as if we didn’t even belong to ourselves.

The fact that involuntary sterilization still occurs is unfathomable.  How is it that an administration that is anti-abortion and pro-life is also pro-sterilization?  

There’s also a conversation that underlies all of this and that is the importance of women’s sexual and reproductive health.  Throughout the world, talking about any of this is taboo.  From first periods to menopause, no one talks about women’s health.  It is shunned.  In some parts of the world, women and girls do not have access to sanitary napkins or tampons.  Girls end up dropping out of school when they get their first periods, because they do not have access to something as basic as pads or tampons.

Sexual health is health care.

Women needed access to reliable birth control and information about their reproductive health.

One item that is very important to mention is that many of these women and girls felt like they had no choice but to accept sterilization.  Those who accept government assistance (welfare, food stamps, housing, Medicaid) are subjected to constant government intervention.  Government officials constantly came and  went out of their homes.  For some people, they were threatened that if they did not submit to sterilization, mandatory birth control, etc., they could lose their government assistance.

In some cases, people were not given the proper information on sterilization and Depo-Provera.  They were not told that the surgery was not reversible.  Side effects of Depo-Provera were not discussed.  At times, clinics were not advised on the procedures regarding sterilization or the administering of it.  Women and girls were not given alternatives to birth control.  For thousands of women and girls, their right to have children was taken away from them without their consent.

That’s the most important thing here…their right was taken from them without their consent.

Women in prison as recently as 2006-2010 faced forced sterilization.  Less than a hundred years ago, sterilization was forced on those institutionalized.  Many women during that time were not mentally ill.  A woman with irregular periods, or a woman whose husband wanted to rid themselves of their wife to marry another woman, could be institutionalized.

During the Trump administration, rumors of detained female immigrants who were forced to be sterilized made the news.  But the only response became disgust, and then yesterday’s news.

The war on women needs to end.  We don’t hear of men undergoing forced sterilization because they are poor or an immigrant.  Their right to their own bodies is not under attack by the government.  But for women, we are constantly threatened.  It needs to stop.  We need to stop being a taboo.  Our reproductive health and overall women’s health needs to be considered important in the medical field.  When I want to talk about menopause and what happens to the body changing, I need my doctor to be able to know what exactly that is and advise me on what to expect.  When we are provided a vaccine, make it not just for men in mind, but women, too.  Sanitary napkins and tampons should not be taxed.  They are a necessity.  It should be covered as a health need.

Why not provide adequate birth control to all women?  There would be less abortions if women had the proper medical care and access to it.  Give them other alternatives to birth control.  Sterilization should be a choice, not something forced upon women by the government.  Truthfully, I have to ask, why is the government so obsessed with controlling a woman’s body?  Women must really scare them.

I have to say, this book made me mad.  It is a difficult read, but necessary.  Everyone needs to understand the way war is raged upon women, especially those who live in poverty and are a person of color.  Women are not yesterday’s news.  We are victimized daily in a numerous amount of ways, because we are women.  It needs to end.

[All quotes are from “Take My Hand” by Dolen Perkins-Valdez] [Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of a review. All opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links.]
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Book Review: Dark Magic (Darkhaven Saga #2)

14 March 202014 March 2020

Book: Dark Magic (Darkhaven Saga #2) by Danielle Rose
Publisher: Waterhouse Press
Release Date: March 10, 2020

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

Synopsis

There’s something about the scent of blood from the undead.

In the heat of battle, hybrid Ava López discovers she has new and fascinating powers, but she does not know how to control them. Though her former enemies have offered her refuge and helped her acclimate to the vampire lifestyle, even they don’t understand her enhanced magic.

With mounting threats from Ava’s former coven and reckless rogue vampires, Ava and her new friends have no choice but to request the wisdom of Holland Taylor to help her understand her powers. Holland is one of the most powerful witches Ava has ever met, and he is also Jeremiah’s ex, which introduces another wrinkle.

Tension between the vampires and Ava’s former coven is building, and when the witches offer a deal Ava would be remiss to reject, she is forced to choose between the life she once considered safe and the life she never wanted.

[Synopsis from Goodreads.]

Review for Dark Magic

Ava Lopez just can’t let go.

After living a few weeks with her new vampire coven, she still feels compelled to run back to her old witch’s coven, the one that kicked her out after she turned. It’s difficult leaving a family that is the only one you’ve ever known for a new one. It’s difficult understanding that your family does not want you anymore. You have to stay away.

That is the problem Ava is having in book #2 of the Darkhaven Saga. While she grows to learn how to be a vampire and get her newfound powers under control, she still has that hope that she can return to her mother and her coven once she masters being a vampire that will not harm anyone.

She does not understand that she is forsaken. She can never go back to her family. This is a difficult lesson for her to learn at this time. But she doesn’t stop running back home every time the rogue vampires attack the witches. She is trying to show that they can work together, vampires and witches. There is no need for this feud. There is no need to be enemies. She is trying to be the difference by showing them that both sides can ban together…even if that means leaving her new vampire’s coven to prove it.

This story is getting more and more interesting. The book leaves you with a cliffhanger at the end to prepare you for book #3. I hope that in the end of this saga, Ava will be able to accomplish everything her heart leads her to.

This series is written in penny dreadful style. This is book 2 in a 5 part series. I so can’t wait to see how this story turns out.

[Disclosure: I received a copy of “Dark Haven” from the publisher in exchange for a review.]

You can pick up a copy of Dark Magic at any of these preferred PW booksellers.

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Book Review: The Lady in the Coppergate Tower

3 August 20195 August 2019

Oh, boy! Do I have a treat for you today. In celebration of “The Lady in the Coppergate Tower” release, I am giving away an ARC (advance reader copy) of this book on Instagram.

The contest ends at the end of the day on Sunday, August 4, 2019. You need to do three things in order to enter: 1) Like the post. 2) You must be following me in order to enter (no follow/unfollow). 3. Tag someone in the comments. Good luck to everyone. This is the POST TO ENTER.

Now, why should you want a copy of this book? Keep reading.

The Review

I am relatively new to the steampunk world. It was a little difficult for me to understand that universe in the beginning. I felt like I needed to read a steampunk guide in order to understand. But after the submersible (submarine) was introduced, I finally got the hang of things.

So let’s back the story up a little bit and let me tell you about “The Lady in the Coppergate Tower.”

This story takes place in Victorian London and Romania. In this world, they have automatons (think Bicentennial Man) and ray guns. They refer to electricity as Tesla (as in Nikola Tesla), especially the specific type of light bulbs used. Carriages are drawn by mechanical creatures, not live animals.

That is the gist of the steampunk universe. Now, on to the story…

This story is a mixture of “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,” “Dracula,” “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” “Tangled,” and “Into the Woods.” Crazy, right?

Hazel is a young woman employed by Dr. Sam MacInnes. She has an extraordinary ability to heal people. She is an academic and loves to spend her time at lectures and reading books. She is on the fringes of society, while her employer is smack dab in the middle of society. The two differences in their social status keeps them from courting, even though they are attracted to each other.

At an event one evening, a mysterious count arrives. He cannot take his eyes off of Hazel and asks her to dance. Sam feels like he needs to protect her, since she has no family members (besides her adoptive mother) to watch out for her.

What Hazel soon discovers is that she is the niece of this mysterious count and that she has a twin sister. The count came to London to persuade Hazel to come to Romania to help her sister. Her healing powers could help her twin’s madness.

She agrees to go to help her sister, because she has seen her twin’s deterioration in her dreams. Sam decides to invite himself along on this journey, because someone needs to look out for her (and because he does not trust Count Petrescu).

Their mode of transportation from London to Romania is a submersible (a submarine similar to Captain Nemo’s submarine). This, of course, makes Sam sick to his stomach, because he has claustrophobia. But he bears it because he needs to be there for Hazel.

On the trip over to Romania, strange things happen on board. All the while, Hazel and Sam are trying to uncover the mystery behind the count. They suspect he is a vampire.

Petrescu’s intentions are nefarious, something that is suspected throughout the book. What he wants with Hazel is maddening, but that is something you won’t discover until the end. She follows him to Romania, because first and foremost, she needs to save her sister.

Thoughts

I loved “The Lady in the Coppergate Tower.” The Vlad the Impaler reference really lifted this to five stars for me. Once Count Petrescu was introduced, I was hooked. I didn’t know what he wanted with Hazel. I kept trying to guess, but I had no clue what he wanted her for. When that is revealed, the word “maddening” is the correct word to explain it.

Being new to the steampunk universe, I have to say that Nancy Campbell Allen did a marvelous job intertwining all of the different types of stories together. From Jules Verne to gothic to the Disney version of Rapunzel, she did a great job of bringing these elements together to create a rather scary love story.

For those who are not big on romance, just FYI, the romance takes a back page to the nefariousness of Petrescu. But like any good movie, you have to throw a little bit of a love story in there, even if it is not the main part of the story.

I think I’m still a little giddy that Vlad the Impaler is a part of this book. I have to admit, I just loved that part. I can handle vampires. Zombies, not so much.

I recommend reading this adventure. It is PG, so not too dark and not too mushy with the love stuff. It is a little scary, but very thrilling and shrouded in mystery.

[Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.]

You can get your copy of “The Lady in the Coppergate Tower” by clicking on any of these PW approved booksellers below.

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April Reads to Escape Into

17 April 201917 April 2019

I am a little late getting these reviews up. It all started with reading a horrible book.  I rarely if ever give 1 star reviews, but this book received my second 1 star review I’ve ever written.  

As a book reviewer, it is difficult for me to publicly voice my thoughts when I believe the review (and my constructive criticism) should only go directly to the publisher and the writer.  But there are certain rules when it comes to receiving advance copies.  You have to post your review everywhere.

But for this site, I can be more selective with the reviews I publish here.  I read 2-3 books a week.  You won’t always see my reviews for everything I read.  I am not even going to share the name of the book that received my 1 star review here.  I mean, why waste your time?    

The thing I do not like about horrible books is that it turns me off from reading.  It takes me some time to get back to wanting to read again.  That is why I try to be very selective with the books I read and the publishers I work with.  But every now and again, you give someone a chance and then you’re left angry with yourself for making a mistake.

I read the horrible book four weeks ago and I am still mad I read it.  But because I am a book reviewer, I pressed through and read titles from the tested and true publisher Shadow Mountain Publishing.  Their books helped me get back on track to reading 2-3 books a week. 

Today, I’m going to share two of their latest titles that I escaped into to try to forget that horrible book.  The first one is one I highly recommend, “A Song for the Stars.”  The other title, “Wizard for Hire: Apprentice Needed” was such a fun adventure and well done.  Both of these books got me right back on track and I’m here to share my reviews.  

Destination: Hawaiian Islands
Date: 1779
5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

*Sigh* This was an amazing story. If you are in need of a vacation, but can’t get away, I recommend reading this book. It sweeps you away to the Hawaiian islands. You can feel the warmth of the sun, the sand beneath your feet and hear the ocean brushing up against Hawaii’s shores. Paradise…still untouched by European colonization.

If you loved Moana, you will enjoy this story. I visualized Maile as a grown up version of Moana. I felt like I appreciated the story so much more imagining Maile as Moana.

Through this book, I learned so much about native Hawaiian traditions and their culture. The Hawaiian native’s life is so intriguing, especially as you learn about their love and understanding of nature. You’ll start to see nature differently, knowing how it tells us everything we need to know without our maps, books or technology.

With every book comes life lessons. In this tale, the most important lesson is about forgiveness and learning how to love your enemy. It’s also about learning to love again after you’ve lost someone you love.

I highly recommend this book. It really made me sigh…a lot. Maybe it was the love story part or maybe because it painted Hawaii so well…whatever it was, I’m glad I read this. Also, if you’ve read my previous reviews about ‘love stories,’ for me to say I sighed…that says a lot. This is coming from someone who doesn’t like love stories. I SIGHED A LOT! Perhaps Proper Romance has changed me.

Destination: Portland, Oregon and New York, NY
Date: Present Day
5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

I reviewed Wizard for Hire Book One last year. After that cliffhanger it left us with at the end of the first book, I could not wait for the continuation in the series. So when Shadow Mountain sent me the next book in the series, I was so excited to dive into this world of magic (or is it reality?) once again.

After reading Book Two, I have to say that I absolutely loved it. This is so much better than the first book. Obert Skye is really progressing into a better writer (practice makes perfect), making his stories even more enjoyable.

The constant banter between the 4 main characters is comical. I love Clark, the mechanical bird. I really do.

Book Two gives us one more piece to this puzzle of what is really going on with Ozzy and his family. Is Rin really a wizard? As much as I doubt it throughout the book, just like Ozzy, Sigi and Clark do, I am beginning to see that maybe Rin isn’t lying about being a wizard. Or is he? Skye likes to leave us with cliffhangers, which he does again in Book 2. And what a cliffhanger it was!?!?!

Book Three cannot come fast enough.

[Disclosure: I received a free copy of these books in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This post contains affiliate links.]
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Ordinary People Can Change the World

18 January 2017

Last week, I stopped into Barnes & Noble where Brad Meltzer introduced his latest book, “I am Jim Henson.”

I do not normally go to children’s author events, but I decided to go to this one.  I’m glad I did.  I was not prepared for the incredible lesson I was about to learn.

These books appear innocent on the outside.  They are stories about important figures in human history.  From Martin Luther King, Jr. (a book that is constantly sold out) to Rosa Parks, Helen Keller and Amelia Earhart, these books are designed not just as a history lesson for children, but as an underlying act to encourage children to become someone amazing.


Here are just a few excerpts.

From “I am Jim Henson”…

There’s good in all of us.  Sure, we’re all different.  Some of us have beards, or no hair, or blue fur, or green flippers.  But goodness lives within each of us.  That’s an idea that should never get old.  Believe in the good of the world.  Create something new.  Share what you love.  And find others who believe in those favorite things you dream about.  Together…

It starts when we’re kids.  That’s when we learn some of the best things in life.  Laughing.  Sharing.  Imagining.  Dreaming.  Creating.  Never stop doing them.  And never stop being kind.  There’s nothing wrong with being a do-gooder.

From “I am Helen Keller”…

Think of your life as a hill that must be climbed.  There’s no correct path to get to the top.  We all zigzag in our own ways.  At some point, you’ll slip, you’ll fall, you’ll tumble back down again.  But if you get back up and keep climbing, I promise you…you will reach the top.  Don’t let anything hold you back.  Our lives are what we make of them.  There will always be obstacles.  But there will always be ways around them.

From “I am Rosa Parks”…

In my life, people tried to knock me down. Tried to make me feel less than I was.  They teased me for being small.  Being black.  Being different.  Let me be clear: NO ONE should be able to do that.  But if they try, you must stand strong.  Stand for what’s right.  Stand up for yourself (even if it means sitting down). When you do…others will follow.  I am Rosa Parks.  I’m not a politician, or a president, or an actor, or a famous business owner.  I’m just an ordinary person.  But I’m also proof that there’s NO SUCH thing as an ordinary person.





These books are not just for children.  Adults need to read them, too.  We need to be reminded that these people were just ordinary people who did something incredible with their life.  Their stories are a reminder that no matter how ordinary we are we can change the world.

That is the point of these books.  But there’s also an even bigger message.  We are living in a time where our political climate threatens our livelihoods.   We see how the bully won the election and it gave rise to white supremacists who threaten people that are not 100% white.  [One teacher at the event told me that following the election, every child in her school was on suicide watch.]

Children are scared.  Adults are scared.  But it is in these very books, we see how being defiant and choosing to do good, choosing to do what is right and overcoming obstacles as they arise, can make us into extraordinary people.  We can rise up.

The book that had the biggest effect on me was “I am Rosa Parks.”  It made me sad and embarrassed to know how America used to be.  Even though the Civil Rights Act of 1964 happened, we are seeing America revert back to darker days.  Everything that made America great, we are told is not so great.  We are told that equality between human beings is not a great thing.  We are told that being a bully is ok.  It is accepted to be the bully.  America wants the bully to lead us.

We are told that the things we know in our heart are true and good are BAD.  What these books tell us is to stand strong.  We have to stand up for ourselves.  We may be a bunch of ordinary people, but an ordinary person can change the world.  That is self evident in these books.  WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.


I highly recommend buying these books not just for the kids, but for yourself.  We sometimes need to be reminded to believe in ourselves.  It is so hard to remain strong each and every day after facing the onslaught of bullying and fear we live in.

These books serve as a reminder that we can follow our dreams.  We can overcome obstacles.  We can be the change, just like President Obama says we should be.

Read them to remind yourself of who you are and who you can become.  Read the books to your children.  Let them see that these people were just like them.  They were kids too and they grew up to do something wonderful just by being themselves.

EXTRA: Over the last year, two of Meltzer’s children books had an overall 91% increase in sales, which is completely unheard of in the publishing industry.  This was in direct correlation to the election.  Those two books were “I am Martin Luther King, Jr.” and “I am Rosa Parks.”


The Books

Here are the current children’s books available from Brad Meltzer.  He is developing 100 stories about ordinary people who did extraordinary things.  This is just the beginning, so start collecting.

To be released later this year:

Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.




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Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

2 October 2016

thoughtful-giving
Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

A few weeks ago, I started packing an extra lunch to give to the homeless guys on the block that I adopted in NYC.  There are usually two or three guys on that block.

I started packing an extra lunch, just to up my thoughtful giving game.  Instead of giving the guys a little treat pack, I would give them a meal that I made in my own kitchen.  This was about sharing the blessing I’ve been given.  If God deemed that my refrigerator and pantry be filled with so much food (more food than I can consume myself), then I should share the bounty.

When I changed my diet a couple of months ago, I noticed there were certain items I could not donate to the neighborhood food pantry.  It made me ponder what I should do with all of this food I can’t eat anymore.  That’s when I realized I could cook up a few meals and give it to my guys during the week.

I have a bread machine with plenty of flour.  I didn’t know what I could do with all of that flour after my lifestyle changed.  Then I realized, I can bake bread for them.


A few days after I came up with the idea of making complete meals for the guys, I saw a Facebook posting about someone who used to do the same thing.

When the writer of the story was a young boy, his mother used to send him to school with an extra lunch for one of the boys in his class.  She told him, “Give him the lunch before school.”  He didn’t understand why.  There were times he would hand the boy the lunch during lunch hour.

He didn’t realize until he was older that the reason why his mother asked him to give the boy the lunch before school was so that no one would know his situation.  It was a way of hiding that boy’s poverty from their classmates.  Kids can be cruel.  His mother wanted to protect the boy from that cruelty he would have received from other kids by receiving this charity.

The author realized the invaluable lesson she was instilling in him.  There are kids today that are humiliated because they can’t afford a hot lunch.  It is even exacerbated by the school system when children have their hot meals taken away and have it replaced by a cheese sandwich.

A bunch of idiots on a school board decided to institute those rules of cheese sandwiches when parents failed to pay their children’s lunch bills.  It’s the school system humiliating the child in front of all of the other children, because their parents  are not paying the school lunch bill.  They’re punishing the child for their parents’ failure.

It’s not right.


Imagine though changing that narrative if you are a parent.  What if you sent an extra lunch with your child, just in case there was another child that was subjected to the cheese sandwich?  What if you sent them with extra food for those children whose only food they will receive that day are from those school meals?  There are some schools that have a private food pantry for impoverished children who are from homes that cannot afford food.

It is private so that other children do not know who is shopping that food pantry.

It is a shame that children have to fear other children finding out that they are starving.  Children with the wealth of food on their tables should share with those who do not have that same blessing.  This is a human quality that should be instilled in each and every one of us.  We should not feel ashamed or overprotective of sharing our blessings with others.

I’ve seen people repulsed when I stop to give food to the homeless guys or stop to talk to them.  Someone was telling me recently that he was out with a woman when they were stopped by a homeless man asking for assistance.  He went to give him the few dollars he had in his pocket.  The homeless man accidentally brushed up against the woman and she freaked out.  She was so disgusted she said she had to go home and shower to get the homeless off of her.

When he told me this story, my mouth literally dropped.  He re-emphasized the most important point, “They are human beings, too.”



We live in a world where there is so much abundance.  It is unfathomable that anyone should go hungry in this country.  How is it that we cannot share this wealth of food with everyone?

If you’re a parent, teach your kids a valuable lesson about being a thoughtful and giving human being.  Send them to school with an extra lunch for those kids that are hungry.  Get the other families to do it, too.  If there’s no private food pantry, get the school on board to start one.  If there is one in your child’s school, donate to it.

Kids that don’t have to worry about food have a better chance at succeeding in school. When they are focused on where their next meal is coming from or the fact that they are starving, they will fail in school.  Even in colleges, this is an issue.  Don’t think that just because someone got into college that they are not homeless or starving.  They are still trying to better their situation, but it becomes difficult when they are looking at the clock hoping they get to the shelter in time or the fact that they are starving.  When all you can think about is food, it makes it harder to concentrate on your studies.

It takes a village to help raise each and every child.  We need to change the current narrative and stop being so divided.  It is small changes like this that will help move our future as a society in the right direction.

For the adults, pack an extra lunch.  You never know who you’ll encounter that may be hungry and starving.  Maybe you already know someone that could use that extra lunch you’ve packed.  There may even be someone in your own workplace or church congregation that can’t afford food.

Donate to your local food pantry.  If there’s no community food pantry, start a giving box where people can put food in the pantry box.  People that need the food can take what they want.  This is about helping each other.  No one in America should go hungry.  Do your part and share your blessings with others.  Not everyone gets that same blessing of a hot meal three times a day.  Some people are praying for what you take for granted.




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DIY Storage Boxes

16 May 201616 May 2016

DIY Storage Boxes.
DIY Storage Boxes.

Want a simpler, more beautiful way to create qualitative storage boxes?  Well, I did.  I have been saving up sturdy shoe boxes to create storage in my office, but I needed the right paper to wrap the boxes in.

I headed to the new Paper Source in Rockefeller Center and picked up a few sheets of gift wrap paper.  The key to picking out paper in a sea of many beautiful choices, is to select sturdy paper, not the thin paper.

Make sure the colors match so you don’t have a hodgepodge of different colors that don’t match your decor.  Make sure to stay within the color scheme (or use complimentary colors) of the room where the boxes will be placed.

storage box4
You can see that I chose colors in mint green, turquoise and gold, with an offset pattern of black/white (because black/white stripes with any print outfit seems to go well, apply that  idea to home decor as well).  The patterns don’t necessarily have to match, but the colors should.

One note in doing this project, I don’t recommend using just any kind of gift wrap paper.  I purchased the gift wrap sheets, as well as a tube of gift wrap paper (to be more economical).  There is a major difference!  The gift wrap sheets wrapped around the boxes perfectly, making it easy to assemble.  The gift wrap paper from the tube ended up being a complete disaster!  I had to pull and re-pull the paper.  It bunched up in places it shouldn’t have.  It was much more flimsy to work with and you could definitely see that this paper was made for wrapping gifts, and did not work well for projects.  It was meant to be ripped up, not to have lasting power.  [Keep that in mind while shopping for paper.]

As for the amount of paper you will need for each box, as you can see in the first photo (and below), I used two different types of paper.  That was because I didn’t have enough paper and didn’t realize it until I had cut the paper for the lid.  One sheet fits a thin shoe box like the one pictured above (with a little bit of paper leftover).  You’ll need two sheets for regular sized shoe boxes.

storage box2
As for tape, I used both regular tape and Paper Source’s Super Tacky Tape.  I highly recommend using this super tape.  It is so simple to put on and it really adheres the paper to the box, especially when you’re working with glitter paper.  The ladies at Paper Source swear by this tape, and I can completely understand why.  It is a no fuss double-sided tape that works really well.  Once you go with their Super Tacky Tape, you’ll never go back to any other double-sided tape.

So here’s what you need to do this project:

Sturdy Shoe Boxes
Paper Source Gift Wrap Sheets
Scissors
Tape
Paper Source Super Tacky Tape
Sticker Labels (I used these)

storage box 6

The project is very simple.

  1.  Measure the paper to the lid, making sure you have up to an extra inch of paper to tuck into each side of the lid (depending on the size of your box).  Cut the paper.
  2.  Wind the super tacky tape around the inside of the lid (about 1/4-half an inch from the top).  Remove the film on the tape.
  3.   Wrap the paper around the box like you would as if you were wrapping a gift.
  4. Tuck the extra paper in over the lid on all sides and secure it to the tacky tape already in place.
  5. If there are any open pockets on the outside of the box that needs to be secured, use the tacky tape to secure the paper to the paper (reminder, this is double-sided tape, so you will secure from the inside of the paper, not the outside).
  6. Secure the paper inside the lid with regular tape (this also helps prevent the paper from tearing when you close the box).  Also, make sure to cover up any super tape that may be sticking out from under the paper with regular tape.  USE ONLY REGULAR TAPE ON THE INSIDE, NOT ON THE OUTSIDE.
  7. Repeat the steps above for the box.
  8. After completing, write down what the contents are on a label and secure it to the box.  Voila!  You are done!

NOTE:  The reason why you should use the gift wrap sheets – when you wrap the lid and the box, you won’t need to use tape on the outside because it wraps around the box perfectly.  You will only use tape on the outside for those rare instances when you need to secure an open pocket (using the double-sided super tape).  There should be NO TAPE seen on the outside of the box.  Leave the tape for the inside!

I couldn’t believe how nicely the boxes turned out using the Paper Source gift wrap sheets. I was more amazed at how smoothly the paper just wrapped around the boxes and required so little tape (to no tape) on the outside of the box.  I could tell the difference in using their regular gift wrap paper vs. the specialty gift wrap.  It’s a difference of catastrophe vs. ease and perfection.

A friend of mine said she’s going to try to do this same method with magazine holders.  I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

What I love about Paper Source is that it is a great place for perfectionists who aim to learn more about crafting and perfect their projects with qualitative products.  They’re not too expensive.  I love that they don’t just sell everything under the moon for crafters.  They sell perfect, qualitative products.  Why waste your money trying to save on making the project when you can invest in the right materials from the get go and do the project once and it turn out beautifully?  You have less fails when you focus on buying qualitative from the get go.

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How to Declutter Your Life Part Two: Tackling Your Entertainment

19 February 2016

scarves3As part of a new series this year, I wanted to share with you how I am decluttering my life. This is a five month series.  For those who want to take the steps to begin decluttering your life, count on this being a six month life plan to commit to this year.  You’ll need the extra month to truly put this plan into effect.

ESSENTIAL MATERIALS: Make sure to pick up a copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.  This is one of the most important books in understanding the points we’ll be covering over these next five months.  Also make sure to have a journal to record your progress.

Step 2. Tackle Your Entertainment

For those who have a rather large entertainment collection (videos, CDs, records, games, books, etc.), today we’re going to focus on how you can downsize your collection.

We are fortunate that we live in an age where we can get rid of our clutter and go digital with almost all of our entertainment needs.  For those who have BluRay players, Smart TVs, XBox Ones and PS4s, (i.e. technology you can connect to the internet) utilize what these devices offer by putting everything up online to access your content through streaming and cloud services.

Take Advantage of Cloud Services – Movies

PART ONE.  You know those pieces of paper you get inside your DVDs and BluRay Discs with a special digital code?  Go online and enter in the codes.  Most use services like Flixster or Ultraviolet.  Those are the two movie cloud services you want to have an account with.  It’s FREE.

What’s great about getting an account with both of these services is that they interlink with each other, so no matter which service you use based on the movie company’s choice provider(s), you can luckily interlink all of the accounts together.  You can do that through the settings on both accounts.

On your Smart TV, Xbox, etc., download a movie app that allows you to access your movie collection.  For me, that app is Cinema Now.

Using that app, link all of your upload libraries (Flixster and Ultraviolet) to the movie app (you can also do this online).  You should be able to access your library of all digital content you entered in codes for through the various upload services.  Movie companies usually decide which service they will use as a digital content service.  You just have to enter in the code, pick which account you have from the list, and then it automatically is added to your cloud library.

When you open up your movie app on your TV, all of the digital content through the various services will be all in one spot to access no matter which TV or device you use.

Going Forward.  Resolve to only purchase all future movies through the streaming service.  You don’t need the actual physical copy to clutter up your home.  By purchasing through the streaming service, you will have access to that movie on any of your devices.  It also saves you a trip to the store or wait time to get it in the mail.

PART TWO.  If you use streaming services like Netflix or Amazon Prime, consider matching your current library with theirs.  If it’s part of their service, consider ditching your actual copy of the movie.

Most people don’t know that part of their Amazon Prime service is a streaming movie service just like Netflix.  It’s part of the Prime membership.  You don’t have to pay extra for it.  All of the videos you order (or have ordered over the years prior to Prime) are available in the Amazon Cloud for you to access, too.  They also have their own shows like Netflix does.

Netflix and Amazon Prime have a lot of the same movies and TV shows.  The only major difference is their own original content like Orange is the New Black (Netflix) and The Man in the High Castle (Amazon Prime).

For your Smart TVs, video consoles and BluRay players…just download the Netflix and Amazon Prime apps to your TV to access the streaming services.

After you’ve completed PART ONE and PART TWO, you can get rid of the physical DVD/BluRay discs.  They are available to you digitally.  You can make a few bucks off that collection by going to a local retailer that buys used DVDs/BluRays.

PART THREE.  After you have entered in all of the codes you found, matched your collection to Netflix or Amazon Prime, sold your collection (or donated it), now you need to focus on maintenance.

Check every now and again to see if there are any movies popping up on Netflix or Amazon Prime that you already own.  If it’s new to their catalog, you can let go of your copy.  Netflix makes it easy by showing what new movies they’ve added.  Amazon Prime is a bit more laborious to check.  Netflix is the easiest to go through and search.  It’s much faster if you search the collection via your computer.

For the new movies you want to purchase, instead of buying a physical copy of it, you can now buy a digital copy through the movie app (Cinema Now) or even through Amazon.  You can even rent movies if you don’t feel like buying.  The prices to purchase are comparable to the actual physical copy.  What’s also nice is that when you purchase, it downloads immediately.  You don’t have to go to the store or wait for it to be delivered.  It saves time and shipping costs.

Keep in mind that if you rent, check the prices between your cable provider, Amazon and the movie app.  One may be cheaper than the other.  Also, if you can wait, most of the popular movies are out on the movie channels a month after it’s released on DVD.  I DVR it if I want to keep it.  It saves from purchasing the movie itself.

Take Advantage of Streaming Services – Music

I use two streaming music services: Amazon Prime and Google Play.  Of the two, I prefer Google Play.  Amazon Prime Music is part of the Amazon Prime membership.  You don’t pay extra for it.  Google Play is a little less than $11 per month (depending on your state taxes).

I prefer Google Play because I am able to access their extremely large music library.  The selling point for me is the classical collection.  There are certain albums I like and Google Play has it.  Amazon Prime does not.  Not everything on Prime is part of the service.  You have to pay for some of the music.  Google Play, on the other hand, has everything.  To me, that’s worth the $10+ each month: access to unlimited music and stations.

I don’t own any CDs thanks to streaming services.  I can download every single album or song I’ve loved throughout my entire life and not pay anything extra beyond that monthly fee.

Keep in mind though that some artists will force you to purchase their music.  If that’s the case, you’ll need Amazon Prime or iTunes to get their music.  They won’t always be available on streaming services.

Either way, it keeps it digital.  It’s less stuff you have to physically take care of.

Less clutter and less stuff to take care of is our mission!

Take Advantage of Reading Apps – Books

There is an ongoing debate among book lovers.  Hard copy or digital?  Most book lovers do both.  For advanced copies of books, I have to have the physical copies.  They don’t send digital copies (although they should…it would save so much in shipping costs).

PART ONE.  For books I have to have now, or something to read while I’m traveling, I order it through my Nook app or Amazon Kindle app.  I try to order all new books that are available digitally through one of the two apps, depending on who is selling the book cheaper or if I want narration added to it.

One service I do love is Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited.  It’s a monthly service ($9.99/month).  If you think about how much you pay per month for one book…and you read a lot…this service may be best for you.  What I love the most about this service is that most of the books have narration.  If I have to stop reading and walk somewhere, then I switch to narration so I can continue the book while I’m walking.  It’s also great if you’re at work and need something to listen to.  I listen to books while I’m working to help kick out my New Year’s Resolution of reading 52+ Books a year.

There is also the Audible service, but for the same price, you get one credit per month for an audio book.  You also can’t switch back and forth between reading and listening to the narration.  I prefer the Kindle Unlimited because like it says…unlimited books from their library.  That includes the books you can switch back and forth between reading and narration.

So for those times you find that incredible book you just can’t put down but you have to because you have to go from point A to B or you are at work…consider the Kindle Unlimited service.  You can listen to the book when you can’t read it.  The narration picks up right where you left off reading.  That’s why I love this service so much.

PART TWO.  For those who have libraries at home…finding a way to declutter your books (when you are a bibliophile) is just impossible.  So I want to focus on storage.  If you’re looking for the perfect library system, try the Billy cases from Ikea.  They are pretty high and can accommodate a rather large book collection.

I keep all of my books in the library.  Unless I am reading that book, it’s the only time a book is allowed out of that room.  People go on and on about styling their bookcases to look pretty.  All of my books are alphabetized by author.  They are all standing up, none are on its side (a KonMari must, everything must be standing up).  If there are more books than shelf space, that means I have to weed out books to get rid of.

For the books I’ve already read, I only keep the books that were so good that I know I may need a passage from it later.  These are the type of books that moved me.  All the rest are either donated or sold at a resale bookstore.

Because I receive a lot of advanced copies, I have to weed every year to make room for the new review copies.  Out of the advanced copies group, I only keep the books that were personally autographed to me.  All the rest are donated after I review them.  You can’t really resell advanced copies of books.

The key thing about having a library is that all of the books be in ONE PLACE.  Do not scatter them throughout your home (with the exception of coffee table books).  Have them all in one place so that when you are looking for a particular book, you will find it in that one room sitting on the shelf where it is supposed to be.  Come up with a system that works for you.  Alphabetizing by author works for me.

I also keep the review copies separate from the main books in the library.  They have their own book shelf so I know which books I’m supposed to review.

The KonMari method teaches that we should stand everything up on its side (folded clothing, books, etc.).  Keep that in mind as you place the books in an order that works for you.

The method of going through the collection and asking yourself if the book ‘sparks joy’ is a bit fruitless to ask of bibliophiles.  All of the books spark joy.

In order to declutter from an overflowing collection, start with the books you’ve already read.  If you have no intention of reading or referencing it again…let it go.  If there are books that were given to you that you have no intention of ever reading because it’s not something that interests you…let it go.  Books that are too damaged to read, recycle them.  College books…come on, you are never going to read them again…let it go.

The most important thing in this process is to make sure you have the correct storage space for your library.  If it’s overflowing, or you can’t stand all the books up on the shelves, you need to pare down or get a book shelf that will work for your budding collection.  Start paring down the groups I mentioned above.  Give those books another chance to let someone else enjoy them.  It served its purpose in your life.  By letting it go, it’s one less thing you have to take care of.

PART THREE.  Maintaining order in your reading apps is very important.  You can order up a storm of books and they will all sit there in your queue waiting to be read.  This is where YOU STOP doing that.  In a way, you are overwhelming yourself by creating a clutter of books you need to read on an app.  Resolve from here on out to buy the book when you plan on reading it.

For books you’ve read, make sure you archive it, return it (Amazon Kindle), or remove it from your active library.  You can always recall the book whenever you need it (if you purchased it).  This clears up your visual library when you open up the device/app.  Your goal is to be a minimalist in this decluttering journey.

If you really want to start decluttering your devices/apps, consider putting most of the books into the archive and leaving only the next 3-5 books you want to read in the queue.  As you finish and archive each book, you can go through the archive and add the next book to the queue or purchase a new book.

Your goal is to declutter your reading apps.  Maybe someday they’ll create reading lists (like they do music playlists) where you can easily drop and categorize your books.  So if you’re in the mood to read a teen book, you can just go to your TEEN BOOKS list you created and pick one from your archived list.  I guess I should email them and request this?

For the Gamers

Gamers technically already know that if they have an internet based game console, they can just order the new game through the console and it is uploaded immediately.  No need to purchase the physical copy.

Buying a physical copy means you have to use that disc each time you want to play the game.  It’s better to just download the game.  This is great especially if you’re at someone else’s house and want to play a game you downloaded.  Just switch to your profile on the other person’s game console and you can play.

You can take games/consoles you no longer want to places like Game Stop to resell.

When you pare down your games, you want to ask yourself if this game brings you joy or not.  If it doesn’t, let it go.  If you are not going to play it again, let it go.  If you beat the game already, let it go.  If you have the next version of the game (like most sports games) and it’s better than the older version, let the older version go.

I know there are collectors out there, so with the older game consoles and games, if they still function properly, keep and maintain them.  I know how it feels to be nostalgic and want to play Atari or Nintendo 64.

For current and new games, consider downloading the games from here on out.  Or use a game renting service like Gamefly.

Keep in mind that the less stuff you have, the less things you have to take care of.  Your goal here is to declutter and get rid of everything that does not bring you joy.  The only things you want to keep in your home are the things that bring you joy.

Does it Spark Joy? 

Remember that throughout this whole process of decluttering your entertainment, your first question is “Does this spark joy?”  If it doesn’t, let it go.  The whole purpose of decluttering the KonMari way is to only keep the things in your home that brings you joy.  You only want to surround yourself with the things that bring you joy.

After you have used this method to pare down everything (sometimes it can take a few tries to declutter one category), what you want to have left from your collection are ‘just enough.’  In other words, you have enough and you don’t need anymore.  You’ve minimized your collection down to where things are not overflowing.  You are content with the amount you have.  For some people it may be nothing.  For others 25, 75, 100, or 500.  Just as long as you have adequate storage and things are not overflowing, you can have as many as you want…but the whole idea to decluttering is to have less things so you can do the things you’d rather be doing without being burdened down by stuff that will suck the energy out of you.

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Mission 40 – Week 1 Journal Entry

1 September 20153 September 2015

September 1, Day One.

My high school friend came to NYC to visit me in July. We spent an entire week being tourists.
My high school friend came to NYC to visit me in July. We spent an entire week being tourists.

DIET:  Today, I don’t feel like eating.  This is nothing new to me.  I have days where I just don’t feel like eating.  I downloaded the app “MyFitnessPal” to track my food and water consumption.  I started using it last Friday and after a day of logging in my food, water and fitness, I awoke on Saturday to a note from the app saying that it’s apparent I don’t eat enough and that is my problem.

I’ve always found that when I eat more, I lose weight.  I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that wish they had this problem.  For me, food is a challenge.  I just want a little taste of it, not the whole thing.  I only want to take two or three bites to be satisfied.  I don’t want to consume the whole thing.  Then there’s the whole…when you workout, you need to add additional calories to your diet.  To me, that’s asking a lot!

The issue with not eating enough is that it causes problems in the body.  I’ve had doctors threaten to hospitalize me on several occasions because my blood pressure will spike as a warning sign that something is wrong.  This isn’t one of those…it’s been happening for a few days.  It means it’s been going on for a month or longer.  It is all because I’m not eating enough for the body to work properly.  I’m eating less than the bare minimum (800 calories a day).  This is an issue that goes all the way back to when I was in junior high school trying to be thin.  I barely ate.  I skipped meals and then went to basketball practice.  It really messed up my metabolism.

To this day, people always remark on how it looks like I barely eat anything.  To me, I feel like I ate enough for an entire village.  But the truth is…I only had a few bites.  There are occasions where my appetite catches up with me, but that’s maybe once a week, just like it was when I was a teenager.  But what I think is a lot of food may wind up being only 1200 calories…the amount of calories I’m supposed to be eating.  I always feel like I’m going to explode when I eat that many calories.

For those suffering from anorexia and think it is okay…it’s not.  It will fuck up your metabolism to the point your metabolism will become so sluggish, you’ll pile on the weight.  If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, it actually adds to the complication.

I met a girl recently that was starving herself and she thought it was cool to do so.  She was anorexic and had doctors telling her they were going to admit her into the hospital if she didn’t stop doing this to herself.

I finally told her she could end up like me.  That’s why she needed to take care to eat what her body needed and stop starving herself, especially at her age.  Also, for the record, this little 80 pound girl ate three times more than I did and she even remarked how little I ate.  An anorexic telling me I ate less than she did.

She’s currently in the hospital for her eating disorder.

Eating food is a challenge for me.  It’s gone beyond it being just psychological.  The body is used to not eating a lot because it’s what I trained this body to do when I was a teenager.  I did not give it what it truly needed and that later led to complications with my health.  Teaching the body to eat more will be the biggest challenge for me.

CHALLENGE: My biggest challenge is learning how to eat what I need and eating enough food to optimize weight loss and better health.

SOMETHING NEW:  I read from Dr. Oz that having a glass of cold water when you first wake up in the morning kick starts your metabolism into high gear.  I’ve been keeping a bottle of lime water (using the Zing Anything Citrus Zinger I received from PopSugar Must Have) in the refrigerator so that when I wake up, I can pour myself a glass of ice cold water.  It can be tough to drink a whole glass of ice cold water first thing in the morning (because boy, I can feel it), but it’s a good way to get your body to start burning some calories before you even step into the shower!

DOCTOR’S NOTE:  I had to see my doctor last month because I caught a bit of the Legionnaire’s that was going around Manhattan.  It took me three weeks and a week’s worth of antibiotics to kick it.  While I was at the doctor’s office, he ordered blood tests for every single thing I could possibly need a blood test for since I was complaining about extreme fatigue and feeling lightheaded.  My blood pressure had also spiked.  He had to take my blood pressure twice because he didn’t like the results.

The problem was my diet and the fact I was dehydrated.  I drink a lot of water, but apparently not enough.  The doctor told me that the worst thing I could do to myself right now is drink WATER!  Imagine my shock when he said this.  He told me that I needed to start drinking Gatorade every day.  This, of course, does not settle well with the way I live, so I asked around for some alternatives.  [I’m not big on having high sugar drinks or chemicals in my body.]  My friend sent me a recipe for sports drinks using essential oils.  This was a bit of a godsend.  Essential oils are still a new thing to me, but people that use them swear by them and their restorative powers.  [If you’re interested, you can find Essential Oils HERE.  Amber is more than willing to answer any questions you may have about essential oils.]

ON THE SCHEDULE:  Tonight, I get to screen M. Night Shyamalan’s new film “The Visit” (due out in theaters on 9/11).

ON THE SPIRITUAL BRAIN: On the way into the office, Avril Lavigne’s “When You’re Gone” started playing.  I have to say it made me feel really sad.  It made me think of my grandfather (who died in 2007) and my soulmate (who killed himself in 1994).

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G3_kG5FFfQ]

“The pieces of my heart are missing you.”  Those words hit really deep inside those cracks that surround this mended broken heart.  It doesn’t matter how many years pass, the people you miss the most are always the ones you’ll never see again.  They’re the ones you love most of all.  I oftentimes think of my soulmate and remind myself that someone loved me greatly in this lifetime.  I was his first and last love.  It’s the last love that someone has…that’s the love that matters the most.  People have first loves and other loves along their journey in life.  It’s that last love that means everything.  I was lucky to have met him.  I was blessed to have incredible memories of him.  He has taught me about love in ways I never would have imagined, including how a heart in love with someone that’s gone will always be in love with them. That love never stops.  It still grows deeper with each passing moment.

There have been other loves in my life, but not a love quite like his.  That love was the perfect love.  I was blessed to be his last love…the love that meant the most to him.  I miss him every single day.

“To carry them within us – that is our task.  We carry them all inside us, all our dead and shattered loves.  Only they make us whole. If we begin to forget or cast aside those we’ve lost, then…then we are no longer present either. … All the love, all the dead, all the people we’ve known.  They are the rivers that feed our sea of souls.  If we refuse to remember them, that sea will dry up too.”

–The Little Paris Bookshop, Nina George

September 2, Day Two.

matthew4Journal: Last night I saw M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Visit.”  Let’s just say that old people scare me now.  I’ll post up a review on the site later.

I’m now getting back into the swing of hockey and that included my first post of the season, the retirement of Bryce Salvador.  That means more tweeting on my hockey account after taking much of the summer off from social media.  It also means that I have a lot more writing to do.

Something I have been trying to do all summer is get up at 5AM to write and workout.  Matthew Lucifer (pictured here looking annoyed after I took the cup of coffee away from him) wakes me up around 5AM every single morning.  I naturally wake up at that time now thanks to his prodding.  That’s the time he wants breakfast.  [This comes from his days in incarceration (at the shelter).  They fed the animals at 4AM.  When the clocks fall back, it will be a 4AM wakeup call.]

I usually go right back to bed, but he usually follows me and tries to get me back out of bed by biting me until I kick him out of the bedroom and close the door behind him.  Some days he lets me sleep.

This morning though, he did something that made me think he’s not a normal cat (not like I didn’t think this already).  He has an unnatural obsession with water.  I forgot I left my glass on the coffee table last night.  So after I fed him this morning, I laid back down on the couch.  He kept trying to get me to wake up.  I kept grunting, begging him to let me sleep.

After falling back asleep again, I had water thrown in my face.  He had taken the glass of water that was on the far side of the coffee table, moved it across from me, picked it up and threw the water in my face.  A cat did this.

I sat up and wiped the water off of my face.  He just sat across from me looking at me like, “Now you’re awake.”  I want this to sink in for you…A CAT PICKED UP A GLASS OF WATER AND THREW IT IN HIS OWNER’S FACE TO WAKE THEM UP.

Matthew is a pretty good motivator when it comes to getting me to stay awake after 5AM.  He bites, leaves bruises all over my body, scratch marks, and there’s a lot of slapping across the face all in the efforts to get me to stay awake after 5AM.  As much as that little dude is successful with this, I still need to be motivated to write and workout that early in the morning.

CHALLENGE: 5AM wake up calls will now become my 2 hour ME time to write and workout.  I also need to focus on working harder on the things I want to do with my career.  I have so many ideas and goals.  This is the year I’m going to push myself to completing every goal and idea I set forth for myself.

DIET: As for food today, I cheated a little to try and get the caloric intake up so I had 2 candy bars.  Probably not the smartest thing to do after seeing how low I was in minerals and fiber.  I’ll have to change that starting tomorrow.  Also of interest, my sodium intake was 298.  I needed 2300.  Now I understand why the doctor told me I needed to start drinking Gatorade.

TECHNOLOGICAL HELP:  I am using three apps to track what I’m doing: 1. MyFitnessPal, 2. Pact, and 3. Samsung Galaxy Active S Health to track my steps.

My FitnessPal helps me log my food and water consumption.

Pact is a bet you make with yourself that you’ll go to the gym.  You set goals and you get paid for attaining your goals.  If you fail in your goals, you have to pay.  It’s a good way to get paid to workout and to motivate yourself to workout because if you don’t workout, you’ll have to pay into the kitty.

I have the Samsung Galaxy S5 Active phone.  I used apps prior to this phone to track my steps, but it burned up so much of the battery.  The S5 Active takes that issue away.  It also measures and keeps track of my heartbeat and stress levels.  It serves as a compass, barometer and stopwatch.  It’s a good way to keep track of your fitness.  I’m a huge Samsung fan and I highly recommend this phone for those who are active.

CHALLENGE:  My resting heart rate is really high (see yesterday’s entry).  After measuring it 4 times, the median was 100 bpm at a resting rate.  Normal average range for my age is between 66-82 (from ages 20-39 for females) and 57-95 for the total range (bpm).  It’s a little too high for my liking so that will be a major challenge…to get that resting heart rate down to normal.

Also, I took the test from Today.com that calculates your heart’s age.  If it’s 1 year older or more, then you are at risk for cardiovascular disease.  My results said my heart was 43.  That’s a very bad sign.  Healthy hearts are either the same as your age or younger.

CHALLENGE: Diet and exercise is the focus to get the heart back in shape and down to a healthy age.

There are a lot of components to getting healthy.  These three apps really help me see where I need to focus more.  I have to admit, if it weren’t for these apps, I would be so confused and inundated with all of this information.  There’s just so much information out there on how to be healthy.  It’s hard to figure out what you need to do to get this right.  Each person is different and figuring out what is best for you…now that is a challenge in and of itself.

September 3, Day Three.

This is an example of how big Maine Coon cats can get.
This is an example of how big Maine Coon cats can get.

Journal: So waking up at 5AM and staying awake was a fail this morning.  I put down in the original challenge that I wanted to get more sleep.  After one whole year, I finally got Matthew Lucifer to sleep through most of the night.  Although, he’s not really sleeping through the night.  He wakes up around 1AM or 2AM and just lays there waiting for me to wake up when I turn my body.

When he feels me move, he knows I’m awake, so he’ll walk up the length of my body, sit right on my chest and start licking my face.  Before, he used to just bite it.  This is also when he likes to start talking to me about whatever is on his mind.

matthew5Matthew Lucifer is a Maine Coon cat.  That means he’s a really big cat and will continue to grow to a rather large size.  Matthew is only three years old, but he will continue to grow until he’s seven years old.

I talk about Matthew a lot because he does some of the craziest things I’ve ever seen, as in, he’s not a normal cat.  Although, the stuff he does is very normal for the Maine Coon breed.

The reason why I’m not getting sleep is because of Matthew.  Training him to sleep all the way through the night has been a difficult task.  Also teaching him that if he does wake up, he should just leave me alone is another obstacle.  Surita, the other cat, knows to leave me alone if she wakes up.  Sometimes she gets cold and wakes me up to let her curl up under the covers or she wants to snuggle.  You know…the cute stuff.

Matthew…you should see my war wounds from our nightly cat fights.  He is the reason why I haven’t had a good night’s rest in a year.

Last night was the second night in a row he did not purposely wake me up.  He let me sleep.  When I did wake up, I saw him staring at me from across the bed waiting for this moment.  He came over and just started talking to me.  Maine Coons are talkers.  They talk a lot.  They don’t meow.  They have their own little language they use to communicate.  I usually have to really fake sleeping before he believes I’m asleep and will shut up.

Last night though, even though he was letting me sleep, I was awakened to planes flying very low in the middle of the night.  I don’t know why they were flying so low over a residential area (especially in the middle of the night), but the jet engines rattled me awake.  The way it sounded was like Matthew was screaming like he’d been electrocuted or something (which would not surprise me if this were to happen since he has a thing for chewing on cords).

I literally jumped out of bed, hearing the screeching and rushing of the jet, ready to run into the next room when I felt something licking my arm trying to calm me down.  I realized it was Matthew.  Then I realized what the noise really was and thanked God it wasn’t a fried Maine Coon.

Just when I had finally trained Matthew to stop waking me up, something else wakes me up.

In all honesty, I haven’t had a good night’s rest since I adopted Matthew a year ago.  I have probably had only one good night of sleep and that was because he sensed I was really sick.  As my friends say, Matthew is like a child in so many ways.  He does a lot of things a child would do including keeping their parents up all night long.  We sleep when they sleep.

CHALLENGE: Better sleep.

*Have you figured out why his middle name is Lucifer yet?

 

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The New Direction for Diary of a Perfectionist Wannabe

13 May 201513 May 2015

pariskids8When I first began this site, it started off as just trying to make myself into a better person by doing things that I had always wanted to do (like figuring out how to make Coq au Vin), and sharing the journey along the way.  Over this last week, the site sort of took a different turn in a new direction.  This is ultimately the direction I wanted the site to go in all along.

There is a life motto I have been telling people since I was a teenager.  Ironically, the first time I ever said it, it was to my grandfather.

I was 16 at the time and had just gotten back from Paris.  I was telling my grandfather about my Parisian adventure.  He said to me after I finished sharing my story that he wished he could do that.  I remember looking at him a little funny…like it was crazy for him to say that.  That’s when I said to him, “Life is short.  Do anything and everything you ever dreamed of doing.”

For years, his kids had told him he should go out and travel during his retirement.  He never did.  But it was those words that day that prompted him to go out and chase every last dream he had for himself.  He spent the last 15 years of his life traveling all over the world.  Over those years, he would share those stories with me in the letters we wrote back and forth to each other.  He was my pen pal from the day I was a kid and could send out a letter on my own, until the day he died.

After he died and I started traveling more, I continued our travel tales.  With each place I visited, I felt like he was near, sharing this adventure with me.  He used to collect coins from every country he ever visited.  This goes all the way back to World War II, when he was in the war.  He had brought back coins and stamps from Nazi Germany.  Those are coins that I ended up inheriting after he passed away.

Every time I visit a country, I make sure to have a handful of coins to add to our collection.  This is a ritual I have kept going since 2007.  That’s why traveling all over the world is so important to me.  It’s about keeping an important memory going by adding to it long after the other person you shared it with is gone.

Those words I told my grandfather that day is the same motto I have repeated to so many people throughout this lifetime (and to myself, because sometimes you have to remind yourself what your life motto is).  Do anything and everything you have ever dreamed of doing.

After the NYCIFF Awards, I was talking with George Pogatsia (director/writer/star of “Family On Board”) about his speech on championing each other.  It takes a village to create success.  We all have to help each other make our dreams come true.  We cannot make a dream come true on our own.  It is absolutely foolhardy to think we can make our dream happen on our own.  It takes many people along the way to help us get to where we are trying to go.  It takes a village to make every single dream come true for each individual.

When you work together to help each other make dreams come true, you’re creating amazing energy together in order to make each and every dream come true for each person involved.  Consider it karma working in everyone’s favor.

Creating this kind of energy helps inspire each person involved to be greater than we were before.  That kind of energy is a really good, positive feeling.

When you help each other, you go into it believing in the other person and their dream.  You help them any which way you can within your own limitations.  You do this without wanting anything in return.  The way the universe works is that when you help others, wanting nothing in return, someone will return the kindness to you.  It may not be the same person you’re helping.  It could be someone else, the right person that can help you get to the next step in the process.

The amount of energy you put into helping someone else’s dream come true, you’ll find that the same energy x7 comes back to you.  It’s just the law of the universe (aka the law of attraction).  Do good for others, and the kindness will be returned somewhere down the line in a variety of different ways from so many different people.

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

That being said, that is the direction this site has gone.  This site is about sharing people’s dreams and how they’re making them come true.  This content will be brought to you through interviews and collaborations.  There will be a lot of repeat offenders here because of the collaborations.  A collaboration means that we are working together to share the story of how one person is making their dream come true.

For instance, we will be documenting Family on Board’s journey to the Oscars.  This will be done in collaboration with George Pogatsia, the film’s director.

In the upcoming days, I’ll also be sharing with you one artist’s journey to creating a new arts festival in the Bahamas.  That artist is no stranger to this site.  He created my Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal painting.

Journalist friends I’ve made over the years in hockey will also be contributing to the site in their own ways.  Russ Cohen (from Sportsology, author of various books including “100 Ranger Greats”) recently added his first collaborative post to the site.  Russ and I have known each other since the start of my hockey writing career.  He’s been a great friend and mentor over the years, so having him contribute non-sports related content here…I am definitely a very lucky person.

There are other hockey reporters that will be submitting stories, recipes, DIY projects, etc. in the upcoming months.  In a way, this site allows them to have a place to share their other passions that are outside of hockey.  [i.e. There is life outside of hockey for hockey writers.]

This site is about building a trustworthy community of individuals that this site supports in their journey through life.  It is about believing in that person and their dream.  As of now, sharing each person’s journey is a stepping stone.  As time progresses, perhaps this little community we’re building can do more for each other.

That’s what this site is doing on its backend as far as bringing forth content.  The purpose of creating this content is for one simple reason.  It’s to help inspire people out there to go after every single dream they can have for themselves.  Life is about pursuing each and every dream.  You could fail at a dream or get to the end of its path and decide it wasn’t meant for you.  It happens all of the time to every single one of us.  Eventually, you’ll find there are some dreams that were worthwhile and others that weren’t.  That’s what life is all about.

The worst thing anyone could ever do is dream and never pursue it.  You will always ask yourself ‘what if.’  What is the point of asking yourself ‘what if?’  Just go out there and live the dream.  You’ll find that life is more amazing when you are pursuing your passions in life.

If a story is shared here, it’s not a one time deal.  We’ll continue to follow their journey, sharing their story as a way to get people to be more interested and involved in something that is absolutely incredible. The people you’ll find here are people I believe in.  The things they have created or done…they are projects I am passionate about seeing do well.  If you love something…you’ve got to say something.  That’s what this site will be doing.

xxoo,

Michelle Kenneth

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Must Have: DVF Wrap Dress

7 April 20159 May 2015

Earlier, we spoke about owning classic pieces that will withstand the test of time.  One such piece that has withstood the test of time is the Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress.

In 1976, Cybill Shepherd wore the DVF wrap dress in the iconic movie “Taxi Driver.”  The design of the dress is still the same almost 40 years later.  It is an investment piece that you will not regret adding to your fantasy wardrobe.

The iconic dress comes in a variety of prices and styles.  While the price may be a little high for most, and the dress never really goes on sale at drastic discounts…then again, I stand to be corrected. Scouring the web, I discovered a few sites that were selling the iconic dress for less than $100.  Of course, I discovered this after I spent almost $200 on one at Bloomingdale’s (and that was on sale)!

Maybe you’ll have better luck than I did!

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Private Designer Sale: This is a Good One

31 March 201519 February 2016

For those who dream in fashion, I have a sale for you to make your Fantasy Wardrobe just a little bit happier.

I will admit that I never announce a major sale until AFTER I’ve shopped it. What can I say?  It’s the New Yorker in me that sees a sale, hopes no one else sees it, peruses the store and then makes a mad dash to the “Checkout” when I realize other people may have stumbled upon the sale.  It’s like that infamous “Will & Grace” episode where everyone is fighting over sale items at a Barney’s sale.

And yes, I am one of those people that protects my cart while shopping because people like to shop your cart in NYC.  [I am not joking when I say that.]

Just as YOOX and Net a Porter have announced their major designer tech merger, YOOX does something just as amazing…they send an email to their subscribers alerting them of a private sale.

A YOOX 90% off clearance sale is very similar to that Will & Grace episode, except if you don’t purchase it fast enough, someone else may buy it…thus meaning it’s SOLD OUT while it is still in your cart.  The Outnet (sister site to Net a Porter) clearance sales are very similar.

What things did I score at the YOOX clearance sale?  A Roberto Cavalli bag for $73, a John Galliano tote for $68, an Alberta Ferretti bag for $53, and a Missoni scarf for $37.

Yes.  All of those prices are real.  Including this Fendi bag for $362.

I’ve been wanting a Missoni scarf for a few years now but every time I went to purchase one at Rue La La or Gilt, I just didn’t feel like that was the price I wanted to spend on a Missoni scarf.  YOOX’s price of $37…no one is twisting my arm.  That was more than just the perfect price.

The Cavalli bag for $73?  I bought a similar bag a few years ago for $550.  I love that bag so much.  I take it with me whenever I travel because it’s light, it can take a punch, and it is like Mary Poppin’s magic carpet bag (you just can’t fill the thing up).  I bought this new one just in case the other one gives out on me one of these days.  At $73, that’s a major deal for me considering I know already what I’ll get out of the bag.

Before you go running off to the site to shop the sale, you need to know a few things first.  You need to know HOW to shop it.

First, it is essential that you REGISTER for the site.  You cannot access the sale unless you are a registered customer.

Second, after you register, a yellow tab called MYOOX will pop up at the top.  Click on that tab.  It will take you to the “Up to 90% off sale.”

Right now, the sale is for subscribers only.  The sale goes public on April 2.

The reason why you want to subscribe and register now for the site: if you wait until April 2, you are basically getting the scraps.

To get a little bit more cash back, make sure to use Ebates to get 2% cash back when you checkout.  Not a user of Ebates? Register HERE.  New subscribers get a $10 gift card to a retailer of their choice.

* * * *

This is a Fantasy Wardrobe post.  Fashionistas dream of having the most amazing wardrobe, but most oftentimes don’t have the bank account to fuel their shopping passions.  Fantasy Wardrobe posts at PerfectionistWannabe.com are designed to help you find ways to make your dream wardrobe come true.  These things don’t happen overnight.  It takes time to make the dream a reality.  This site will show you how.

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Fendi For Less

13 March 201519 February 2016

No, this isn’t one of those posts on how to get a fake Fendi.  This is PW pointing you in a new direction…how to buy Fendi below the retail price.

Being a Fendi addict, I’ve found numerous ways to get the Fendi I want.  Whether it’s having patience and waiting for the season to end, or waiting a couple of years for the Fendi I want to come up on a resale site, an outlet site, or a wholesale site.

Take for instance this Fendi sold at Saks Fifth Avenue.


This backpack retails at $1500.  You can get the same bag at Overstock.com for $999.99.  Plus, if you’re a Club O member, you’ll earn $50 in Club O Rewards to go towards the purchase of some other fabulous item.

Shocked?  Well…we’re not done.

This Fendi Roma tote bag comes from Neiman Marcus.


The interesting part about this bag is that it’s currently on pre-order for $1,800. It’s expected to ship no later than April 1, 2015.  But Overstock has it already in stock for $1,299.99.  [O Club Rewards of $65.]

How about my favorite Fendi ombre zucca bag from Neiman Marcus?


Neiman Marcus is selling it for $1,100.  While Overstock is selling theirs for ($799.99). [O Club rewards of $40].

What if you want the Fendi 2Jours?

This one will cost you $2,350 at Nordstrom.  Overstock has it for $1,499.99. [O Club reward is $75.]  That’s almost 1/2 off the regular price.

So just why are you buying these items at the MSRP price when you can get the Overstock price, plus receive O Club rewards to use towards purchasing some other designer item (like a matching pair of Fendi sunglasses)?

Shop smarter, ladies.

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PopSugar Must Have February Box

19 February 20159 May 2015

popsugarFebruary’s PopSugar Must Have box arrived last week filled with some very awesome goodies.

Here’s what was in the box:

1. Tarte Cosmetics Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush.

2. U.S. Apothecary Rose Water Bubble Bath.

3. ACME Party Box Company Bamboo Heart Cutting Board and Cheese Knife.

4. BaubleBar Mini Arrow Pendant Necklace [SIMILAR HERE].

5. Lemon Berry Tinted Balm 17 ml by Figs & Rouge.

6. Chuao Chocolatier Ravishing Rocky Road Bar.

7. Sally Beauty FingerPaints Nail color.

I didn’t keep the Tarte Cosmetics Amazonian Clay or the nail polish.  I gave those two items away [due to skin sensitivities].

I loved the cutting board.  I haven’t used it yet because it’s just so cute and looks stylishly good with the other cutting boards in the kitchen.

What I loved most about the box was the BaubleBar necklace.  The necklace I linked to above is similar, but not quite what I received.  The one I received has pavé detailing and retailed at $32.  You can get the similar one for $12.  I’m a huge fan of BaubleBar (almost all of my jewelry is from them), so it’s nice when I receive any jewelry from them.  Always qualitative and beautiful pieces from the company.

I also loved the Figs & Rouge lip balm.  I’m not a big fan of tinted lip balms, so even though this appears tinted, it’s not.  It goes on clear.  Also a good sign that this is truly 100% all natural, Matthew (my new cat) hates anything with a chemical smell.  He always has this look on his face like, “How could you let me smell that?” when he smells any of my beauty products.  With this lip balm, he actually liked it and tries to go in for a lot of kisses when I put it on.  That means…this product is truly chemical free!

As for the Chuao Chocolatier bar…OMG, it was so good.  The surprise is in all of the extras in the bar…the marshmallows and the salt on the caramelized almonds.  I’m also a big fan of their Spicy Maya bars that have a hint of cayenne in the chocolate.  I imagine that this is the way chocolate would have tasted if we were truly able to taste the chocolate delicacies from the movie Chocolat.

I haven’t tried the rose bubble bath yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

All in all, I liked the February box.  The products may not be up to everyone’s cup of tea, but it had a lot of pluses in my book.  The box is $42.75/month.  Total cost of the items in this box retailed at $149.50.  PopSugar is continuously proving that they are the best subscription box on the market.

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Try The World: Paris Box

12 February 201519 February 2016

(c) 2011 Michelle Kenneth

My latest Try the World box is the Paris Box.  Who doesn’t love French food?

This box included La Mère Poulard sablés (cookies), Maison D’Armorine salted butter caramels, Domaine Des Vignes whole grain mustard, Charles Antona Corsican cherries and thyme jam, Clément Faugier chestnut spread, Flagrants Désirs dark chocolate bar with raspberry and two fruit jellies.

The whole grain mustard uses vinegar produced from grapes (similar to dijon) from the Vineyard at Domaine des Vignes.  The difference between whole grain and dijon depends on the vinegar (or wine) used and the fact that the whole grain mustard is not completely grounded down like dijon.

Whole grain mustard is a bit of a staple in any foodie kitchen, especially if you’re cooking up a lot of French food.  When recipes call for dijon, I prefer to use the whole grain mustard in its stead.

The sablés (cookies) are made with only 5 ingredients.  The salted butter comes from Brittany.  La Mère Poulard is a famous restaurant and bakery located in Mont-Saint Michel.  Notables such as Ernest Hemingway and Yves Saint Laurent have visited this restaurant.

All in all, I really liked this box and the Venice Box.  Both curated boxes are spot on for the essentials one needs in their kitchen from these two regions.  They also pick the best sweets to add to the box.

My little guy, Matthew, can attest to that.  He was a little spoiled with his first subscription box from Kitnip.  He assumed this new subscription box belonged to him as well.  He started sorting through it before I could finish taking everything out of the box.  He was pretty determined there was something in this box for him [no, he wasn’t playing in the red filler, he was pulling the food out of the box].

He even tried to open up the mustard thinking that must be where his treats are [he has thumbs, so he knows how to open up jars…at least ones that were previously opened].  We didn’t discover what he could have until I opened up the caramels this morning and took a bite out of one.  It was so buttery and good, I thought he’d like to try it, so I gave him a little piece.  The way his eyes lit up with pleasure…I think his determination was correct…there was indeed something in this box for him, too.

Here’s a look at all of the goodies in the Paris Box:

If you’d like to order your own Try the World box, you can get $15 off your first box by subscribing HERE.

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Subscription Box: Try The World

2 February 20159 May 2015

There are a lot of subscription box services out there lately, but nothing that is as close to representing the foodie side of “Perfectionist Wannabe” as the Try The World box service.

I got my first box a couple of weeks ago and I have to say…I am beyond impressed with what you get for $39.

My first curated box had a “Venice” theme.  Included in it were a lot of food items representing the region…and food items that any Italian foodie should already have stocked in their pantry.  But then again, some of this stuff is hard to find unless you get it directly from an Italian food market.

I loved everything about this box, especially the Dark Chocolate Limoncello.  I try to eat dark chocolate for health reasons, but it’s always too bitter and not a pleasant experience.  This Perugina chocolate bar was just right and delightful.

The black truffles and mushrooms were a surprise.  I had ordered the Oeuf Mimosa (truffle and caviar deviled eggs) at Todd English’s Ca Va Brasserie in NYC a couple of weeks ago.  It had a very distinguished taste to it.  Opening up this can of truffles and I found the main ingredient to the Oeuf Mimosa.

I tried this in some couscous to add a little flavor.  Just a little bit can go a very long way.

The Spaghettata mixture of herbs was a delight.  I warmed it up in some oil, added some bell peppers, sweet bell peppers and sun-dried tomatoes (that I picked up in Venice) then tossed in some spaghetti and parmesan cheese for a satisfying meal during the Super Bowl.

The sweet onion pesto included in the box, I put on top of tilapia.  It was so simple and, oh so delicious.

What I like about this box is that it allows you to try out new ingredients from different areas of the world.  It’s also not too expensive and you get qualitative ingredients to experiment with.  Each box comes with a few recipes to try and an informational background on the region.

The box is delivered every two months for $39.  If you’re interested in joining, you can get $15 off of your first box by clicking HERE.  {If you pre-pay, it’s cheaper.}

I’m looking forward to seeing what my next box has in store.

Have you tried “Try the World?”  If so, what did you think?

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Resolutions 2015

30 December 20149 May 2015

The Christmas holiday rush is over.  Now is the time to reflect and ponder over how you want to approach the new year.  What changes do you need to make in your life?  What realistic changes do you want in your life?

There are needs and then there are wants.  A need is something that you need to do with your life to set it on the right track like resolving to pay all of your bills on time, or saving enough money for your emergency fund, or going to the doctor to check out that strange condition you have.  A want is to lose 10 pounds before your high school reunion, or to go on a much ‘needed’ vacation to X locale.  Whatever it is you resolve to do, be it a need or a want, create a plan to make it happen.

I’ve been thinking about my resolutions since Thanksgiving.  I’ve already started putting my plan to work.  Here’s my game plan and my resolutions.

1. It starts with a notebook.

ks1 ks2If you want to stick to your resolutions this year, start off by getting a notebook that suits your needs.  I purchased a nice Kate Spade notebook for this year’s resolutions to reflect the journey ahead.  I chose this one because it was pretty to look at from the outside.  I liked the simplicity of the notebook.  It was wire-bound (which makes it easy to flip pages) and pretty.

I also bought a Kate Spade agenda mainly for it’s functionality for what I do.  It will allow me to keep track of this year’s resolutions while making it easier to visually see upcoming events, blogging projects, and schedule games for me and the Devils’ photographers and writers (as well as my NY Rangers assignments).

This agenda was perfect for me because it has a blank monthly calendar at the beginning of each month and then a daily lined calendar following it to write in more detailed info.  I’ll get into why this is important in the following points.

Agenda, $36; Notebook, $14.

2. Write out your resolutions.

There are many things you may want to resolve to do this year to improve yourself or your quality of life.  Try to be realistic in those goals.  Write out each resolution in your journal and then use the journal as a diary to see how you are making those resolutions happen.  It’s okay to admit failure.  As you go along, you may find that the resolution is no longer what you want in life.  That’s okay.  But if you find you still want to make that resolution come true, start finding a different way to make it happen.  If at first you don’t succeed…

Here are my 2015 Resolutions:

  • Focus More. So much time is wasted away by focusing on everything else but the main thing.  I plan on focusing more by taking these steps: 1) Deleting all Game Apps from my phone (with the exception of the Mahjongg strategy game that actually helps develop brain functionality).  2) Focus on the task in front of you so that you can complete it without any distractions (that means, if I’m writing, I need to have the TV turned off as well as the phone and any social media applications).  3. Spend down time on the commute reading books, instead of wasting time on mindless activities.
  • Be more in touch with humanity.  One thing that bothers me is being so connected to technology that I fail to connect with actual human beings.  What happened to the written card or letter in the mail?  What about a phone call instead of a text message?  By putting a device between us and the person we are communicating with, we’ve started to lose touch with humanity.  I want to spend this year reconnecting with people.  I’ve lost touch with good friends over the years.  I plan on reconnecting with them next year.  Everyone loves to get a card in the mail.  I’ll be sending more of those out next year.  Maybe I’ll even visit a few friends this year in person.
  • Read 52 books a year (a book a week).  This resolution has fallen to the wayside in the last 2 years.  In 2015, I plan on correcting that.  If I want to read more youth focused books like Percy Jackson, I’ll read it.  But I have to read at least 5 classics this year.  Those take a little longer to read, but youth books are usually easy to breeze through.  I also want to read “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy as my one BIG book to read throughout the year. [2014’s big read was “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas.]  I’m also going back to my rewards program for each book completed.  I’ll reward myself a dollar amount according to the book read and how it was acquired (if purchased, 3x cost of book; if borrowed from the library, $50; if a classic, $100.)
  • Buy what you need. Buy what you want only 2x a year.  To combat having more than enough in the house, I want to bring back what was so special about birthdays and Christmases.  Throughout the year, I’ll be making a list of the things I want and only splurging on them for the two occasions (with the exception of the new fall wardrobe in August).  Throughout the year, I’ll only buy what I need (food, etc.).  [Only exception to the wardrobe rule is life changes like: if I lose weight or become pregnant and need to purchase new clothes.]
  • $500 Emergency Every Day Fund.  I want to have an ongoing $500 emergency fund for every day expenses for the ‘just in case’ I forget my lunch and need to dine out, or need to buy a book for an upcoming event, or whatever happens during the daily course of life that I did not budget for that month.  This is more than enough for those items I didn’t see coming.  Basically, this is the miscellaneous budget that needs to be refilled every month, not the big emergency fund.
  • Make a better Christmas.  Throughout the year, I’ll be planning for Xmas 2015.  Since my brother missed Xmas 2014 because he is deployed, 2015 will be bigger and better than ever.  Throughout the year, I’ll be not only shopping for Xmas but creating a better Advent by buying gift cards for those in need.  This year’s Advent will focus mainly on charity.  Throughout the year, I’ll be preparing for that Advent season and Xmas.  And yes, I plan on being overly generous to those in need.
  • Mission 40.  In a couple of years, I’ll be 40.  I told myself in my 20s that I would have an amazing yogalicious body by the time I was 40.  I got this idea after seeing a photo of a 40-year old woman who practiced yoga.  She had the most amazing body I had ever seen.  I wanted to be like that when I grew up: strong, lean and healthy.  So with that dream just 2 years away (did I procrastinate or what?), 2015 and 2016 will be devoted to that dream.  That means living a better, healthier lifestyle dedicated to being a better yogi and athlete.  That means going to the gym 3 times a week and rewarding myself monetarily with each objective (to go towards the birthday/Xmas wish list).  This also means coming up with a realistic weekly plan (using the agenda).  For each week I’ll state a goal on what I would like to accomplish and work towards doing that each week.  The agenda will also be used to track exercise/food/water intake.
  • Build a better blog.  I’ve actually been working on this for the last two months.  A good blogger develops blogging resolutions.  While I’d like to say I’d like to write every single day, some days I have too much to write about and not enough time to write about it.  In other words, blogging every single day is not realistic to me.  But blogging 3x a week may be more realistic for me.  I want to make sure this site and my other two sites have better, qualitative content.  As I evolve, so too will the blogs.  I am trying to keep in mind that this is a “Diary” so I need to focus on making this more about that journey to being a more perfect me.  {That’s why I’m sharing my resolutions}  It’s not limited to just doing something I love like cooking or sharing journeys I’ve come across…this is also about becoming the person I envision myself to be.  She’s not necessarily a perfectionist, but I want to be that perfect person I see that I have the potential to be.  She is not perfect, but she is striving to be a better human being.  So in the next few days you’ll see a new, revamped site.
  • Pay off all bills; save for down payment on new house; generate a million dollars.  Everyone has some sort of financial goal.  Me?  I’ve got the simple, the difficult and the outrageous.  Simple is paying off all bills.  Difficult is saving for that down payment because I am a spender.  Generating a million this next year?  It’s outrageous, but I created a dream board a couple of months ago.  I keep looking at it thinking I must be nuts that I want those things.  But then I keep looking at that house on the beach, the view of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (from an apartment), that yogalicious body, the qualities in life, love and joy that I want and that million dollars in the making and I start to re-evaluate what I want out of life.  It provides me with a mission to pursue the type of life I want.  If you can dream it, only you can say yes or no to it.  I choose to finally say yes to it.  Every dream has its own time.  Try making your own dream board.  You won’t believe how it can truly change your mind about what you think you can have.  It opens your mind (daily) to the possibility that those things you dream about can become yours.

 3. Keep track of your resolutions.

Using the journal, I like to put down all of my ideals on how I can make those resolutions happen.  I set up rules for myself.  Take for instance the 52 books a year resolution.  I have rules set up for how much I can earn money by reading.  That money goes into a “Fantasy Wardrobe” fund.  I usually throw the money I earned from this resolution towards obscene purchases like a Balmain skirt or a YSL bag.  It’s my treat fund.  Since I’m only buying things for my birthday and for Xmas, that is the money I’m using for whatever designer purchase I have my heart set on at that time.

I’m also setting up rules for fulfilling my Mission 40 goals.  It’s better for me to set up monetary rewards than it is for something like a “spa day” or a “manicure” or whatever floats your boat on things you like.  Setting up a reward I want and will appreciate will help me work towards another goal that is more satisfying than a spa day at Bliss.  Who knows, that money earned could go towards a pre-birthday wardrobe (i.e. if I lost weight and dropped a few sizes, I’d need a new wardrobe…that money earned from the Mission 40 goal could go towards that new wardrobe).

I was watching “When the Game Stands Tall” and saw a neat trick the coach had his players perform.  Each week they had to put their goals on an index card and read it out loud to the team.  The first was their training goal.  The next was their practice goal.  The third was their game goal.  They created weekly realistic goals and went out to accomplish each of those goals on a weekly basis.

During my first week for Mission 40, here are the goals I am setting:

1. Go to the gym 3x a week (1 day can be for golf if too sore).

2. Do 100 sit-ups; 75 push ups daily.

3. Do yoga 2x a week.

4. Eat less carbs, more fruits/vegetables, drink more water.

5. Monitor, journal all food/exercise/water.

6. Walk 10,000 steps daily.

While this may look like too much in that first week, let’s look at this realistically…

The main challenge is #1…getting to the gym.  My gym is Chelsea Piers.  A number of conditions can crop up in January like polar vortexes or snow storms.  Those two things could prevent me from getting to the gym.  There are a number of excuses I can come up with on why I can’t go to the gym…but if I make it a goal that week, I have to see to it.  Maybe that first week I can get there once, what’s the back up?  It’s actually everything else you see there.

Doing #2 and #6 daily…that’s still exercise I can do at home or at the office.  I can go outside and walk around my neighborhood (unless there’s a major storm).  In midtown NYC, I can walk underground.  There are ways to stay out of the elements during the week that can net me 10,000 steps a day.

Doing #3 is actually simple for me in the AM.  I just pop in the Yoga for Abs DVD and roll around in bed doing the moves (because the floor is too hard on my back).

The rest is about diet and journaling my food intake and activity.

For each weekly goal that was not accomplished, I have to re-evaluate at the end of the week what I need to change.  If I can’t get to the gym 3x that week, but could make it 1x, then the next week, I will try to match that and get there 1x, but I’ll also try for 2x…and then work my way up to 3x or more.  During the hockey season, more than 3x is unrealistic for me.  But 1-2x is realistic.

Sometimes we set our sights too high and when it doesn’t work out we quit.  Instead, after each week, re-evaluate the goal and change it into a weekly goal that is realistic for you.  You’ll find that the more you work at that goal, the more you’re ready to take the next step towards a bigger goal for yourself.  It takes baby steps to making a resolution work.  Just remember that.  Baby steps to the finish line, not leaps and bounds and then you’re magically there.  It takes a lot of work to make a dream happen.  Anyone that tells you otherwise is lying to you.

Notice I didn’t put “Yoga class” for that first week.  Taking classes takes a lot of courage.  I find that trying to just get myself into shape at the gym, doing some yoga at home, and then working up my self-esteem towards taking a class…like I said, everything takes baby steps.

What you mark out as those baby steps you write down in your journal.  This is where you find your confidence to take the next step in your journey.  Resolutions are really a journey in changing yourself.  You have to look at it as that, or don’t bother making one.

Use your agenda to map out your weekly goals.  This is a way for you to keep track of your daily progress.  Log your feelings, emotions, triumphs, etc. in your journal, as well as your ideas to better yourself and your resolution.  I highly recommend that Kate Spade agenda because it puts your daily/weekly/monthly agendas all in one place.  If you’re like me, you need to see what is going on monthly, but you also do most of the detailed daily stuff in the weekly agenda.  This agenda puts both types of calendars in 1 spot.

Keep in mind that you’re not going to achieve every goal on a weekly basis.  It doesn’t mean you are a failure.  It just means you need to re-evaluate your game plan.  The only way you will find success is in doing what works for you, not what works against you.  So don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t accomplish your goal that week.  Just do better the following week by re-evaluating how you can make the goal work for you. Do you need to take a step back?  Do you need to push yourself more?  Whatever it is, come up with a new game plan if the current week’s game plan didn’t turn out the way you hoped it would.  If you accomplished all of your goals that week, reward yourself.  Don’t reward yourself with something that will work against what you’re working so hard to accomplish (i.e. if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t reward yourself with an ice cream cone).

Reward yourself to a small reward like a manicure, or a new book, or do like I do…pay yourself for accomplishing your goal and save that money up for some luxury purchase you’ve been dreaming about (like a trip to South America).  At least with the monetary goal, you’re using that reward towards another goal/dream in life.  Out of all of the years I’ve instituted a rewards program for achieving my goals, only the monetary reward worked.  As you’re working towards your goal, you can see moneywise how well you are doing by how much money you’ve earned along the journey.

4. Enjoy the ride.

Resolutions are not always a solo journey.  You meet a lot of people along the way when you are working towards achieving a dream.

My 52 books a year, netted me a book club where we can discuss books together.

Mission 40, I meet new people at the gym or at the golf range all of the time.

Making a better Christmas, part of that is meeting people and knowing what their story is.  My plan is to give out $200 gift cards to people I know personally that are in need and could use $200 at Xmas time.  It means visiting the food pantries.  It means talking to a random homeless person and understanding why they are where they are today.  It means reconnecting with the world instead of judging them because of where they found themselves in life.

This Christmas, I found myself overflowing with very expensive gifts.  I had over $520 in gift cards to spend at Target.  I love Target, but I hate shopping there because every time I go, there’s always some family I run into that has only a few dollars to spend on food or no money to spend on a toy a child wants.  They take a look at my overflowing cart and they look away ashamed that they are so poor, while I’m overflowing.

My friend told me today not to be ashamed of that cart.  My heart breaks for those families, but it’s not like I’ve never shared the wealth.  She told me to look at how overly generous I’ve been with so many other families.  Those kids in shelters (and the foster system) that asked for extravagant gifts for Xmas this year, I bought them everything but the Xbox and the bike (I can’t ship the bike and the Xbox…for obvious reasons).  I felt so bad about the bike that I sent her a collapsible scooter instead, because that was easier to ship.  There are so many families I helped over the holiday season that my friend reminded me that I paid it forward well in advance of the holidays and I was overly generous to each and every child.  The universe saw what I did and rewarded me handsomely for it by being overly generous to me during the holidays.

It’s in my character to give.  It’s hard for me to take something for myself without feeling bad about it.  My mother told me I was always like this.  I was always willing to give, but when it came to getting what I wanted, I’d take into account our financial situation and pick the cheapest toy on the shelf, even if I could have the $20 Barbie doll.  I’d stare at that doll longingly, but choose the toy I didn’t want because it was the least expensive item on the shelf.  Even if she said I could have that Barbie doll, I’d profess I didn’t want it and walk away with the other toy.  I’d do this because I take nothing for myself.  When I do, there is a level of guilt there.  It goes along with the Cancerian territory.  It’s a trait of ours.  We give of ourselves freely, but seldom take for ourselves.  When we do, we feel extreme guilt.

That’s me, every single time I shop in Target.  For some reason, while I’m there I always run into one of those families in need.  I watch people complaining about how they can’t afford X, Y and Z bill but walk out with a $60 game or some other frivolous expense.  What it reminds me of is to give freely to those who really are in there with $8 to spend on food for a family of 6, and it also reminds me how to write for people that are still searching for ways to get their lives in order.

That’s what this post is really about in the end.

Moving into 2015…

So as we move into 2015, this site will change.  I’ll keep you posted on my resolutions throughout the year, because this is a diary of a perfectionist wannabe.  I’m keeping the favorite topics you love here.  I’ll be delving into different culinary pastures as we try to keep it in sync with my resolutions.  Yes, I can be a foodie and be on a diet at the same time!  I’ll show you how this year.

I’ll still be doing my arts, entertainment, reading, etc.  Travel…it’s not something I’ve done much of since my surgery.  I’m waiting for my wanderlust to kick back in again (plus, with the latest addition to the family being a little high maintenance, it’s a little difficult to leave him alone because he will trash the house out of anger).  Plus, with saving for a house, spending $10k on travel this year just isn’t on my list of priorities.  I want the house more.

Throughout the year, I’ll also be sharing tips on how I’m decluttering and reorganizing at home.   I’ll also be sharing some financial tips, and sharing with you what I find and what’s working for me.  In other words, this will become an all around lifestyle blog without the sports. 🙂 You’ll have to go to my hockey site for that information.

Looking forward to chatting with all of you in the new year.

xxoo,

Michelle
New Year

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Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

11 December 2014

xmas13This year, I couldn’t wait to get the tree up, so on Thanksgiving Day, while the ham was still roasting in the oven, I put the tree up, decorated it, and began putting together the Advent gifts.

In November, I did all of the Christmas shopping I needed to do.  I was done long before Black Friday hit.

This is the second year I’ve joined in the Frosty’s Friends program.  This program is sponsored by Jersey Cares.  People that sign up get a letter from a child with their Christmas toy wishes.  This year, the kids asked for a lot of expensive gifts from Xboxes to DS2s to bikes, to not 1 Monsters High doll but 5 dolls, plus a Barbie and her car!  I almost had a heart attack when I got the letters because I sponsored five children and they were all demanding really high ticket items including the now sold out Elsa’s Castle from Frozen.

Because I believe that children should have at least one amazing Christmas in their lifetime, I went ahead and bought them what they asked for…except for the Xbox One and the bike.  I can’t ship bikes and the Xbox was out of the question.  He asked for a DS too, so he got that instead.

I know a lot of people say I go above and beyond for these kids, but I believe that every child should have a Christmas, no matter how horrible their circumstances are.  For these kids to be in the Frosty program, it means they wouldn’t have a Christmas if it weren’t for these gifts.

xmas11I will say this, I’m only going to sponsor one child next year.  They are just asking for too much these days.  This year’s gifts topped 4 figures between all 5 kids.  I will say that shopping for all of them the second I got the letters actually helped me to score all of their coveted gifts long before they were sold out, including that now sold out everywhere Elsa Castle.  I just hope the kids get their gifts and love them.

Part of me wishes I was there to see them open up their gifts, just to see their faces light up when they see that Frosty got them what they had been wishing for.  To me, that look of joy and excitement on a child’s face…that’s what makes Christmas a happier day for me.

As for other charitable works this season, I ended up sending a Christmas box for the troops.

My brother is currently deployed, so he’ll be missing Christmas this year.  We usually spend it together.  With him away, that means we’ll both be spending this time without family.

He left Afghanistan a few weeks ago.  I have no idea where he’s stationed now because they’ve been very secretive with each of the locations.  He can’t tell me where he’s stationed until after he’s left each country.

We still stay connected on Skype via text messages.  In those messages, he updates me on what he needs/wants while he’s out serving his country.  His last message to me was that there apparently was no laundry detergent where he’s currently stationed.  He asked me to send him some laundry pods.  It was really fun discussing with the post office lady what was in the box I had to send through customs.  She asked me, “What?  They don’t have laundry detergent in the country he’s stationed in?”

Apparently not, because that was an emergency text he sent me.

The day after I shipped the Tide pods, I shipped out a huge box filled with goodies for him and his squadron.  His only request was Ramen and Sriracha.  He’s a huge gummy lover, so I made sure to fill it up with plenty of candy, too.

xmas8He just by chance mentioned that he didn’t have a bowl for the Ramen, so I ordered a bowl from Crate & Barrel with chopsticks so he could have his Ramen soup.  What’s great is that Dollar Tree was selling all of this food for $1 each. A 5-pack of Ramen is $1.  That beats what you pay at the grocery store these days.

I also found a few Thai microwavable products.  I have no idea what it tastes like, but I’m sure he’s missing some good ole Pad Thai by now.

When I told him I shipped out the boxes and that there was more than enough for him to share with his colleagues, he responded that what I did was a good thing.  I was supporting the troops.

It’s funny how he worded it, because he knows me.  I don’t support war.  I think our troops would be better off protecting us back at home.

This was the first time I’ve ever sent a care package to the troops.  I think I felt more of that Scrooge spirit disappear after I mailed off the box.

xmas6 xmas7 xmas3As for trying to bring the Christmas spirit into my own home, I’ve been opening up a new Advent box every day.

A couple of years ago, I started doing Advent projects.  The first year it was all about connecting to the spirit of Christmas.  I had spent so many years not celebrating the holiday, that I decided to get reacquainted with the true meaning of Christmas.

I made sure to have plenty of Christmaslike activities planned from reading Charles Dickens, “A Christmas Carol,” to watching holiday movies, to learning all about the story of how Santa Claus came into being…that was my first year of Advent.

Last year, I opened up a bag with a new ornament for each day of Advent.

xmas10This year, it’s all about boxes.  Each Advent gift had to be in a box with an activity for the day.  This year, there were a lot of baking moments from cookies to pancakes for dinner.

Tonight, I’m having peppermint hot cocoa while watching a holiday movie.  And yes, when I’m not at a hockey game, I’m watching holiday movies.  On the weekends, ABC Family is on all day as they host their 25 days of Christmas movies.

With my latest addition to the family, Matthew Lucifer, around, I have had to put the tree and presents up on the kitchen table so he he won’t get into them.  He’s super bad.  Here are a few of his outtakes so far this season…

xmas9 xmas5 xmas4 xmas1 xmas2From trying to sneak out with the boxes to the post office, to standing on the charity gifts while I’m wrapping them, to laying on top of the boxes to be shipped out (which happen to be right next to the Christmas stockings), to getting into the decorations, to sitting on the charity presents…he’s been a handful.

That last picture…that gift…he ended up trying to rip open. Trust me, he’s been doing a lot of things he’s not supposed to be doing at Christmas.  He gravitates between the naughty and nice list every single day.  Naughty more times than nice.

This will be our first Christmas together, so I’ve already purchased his itty bitty toys.  I had to give him a new Eeyore, because the other one he had he completely shredded.  I still have to find a new harness for him and a few sweaters.  Although, if worse comes to worse…we may stick to just bow ties because they’re much easier to get on him.  {I learned he is a medium sized dog in clothes.  Small is too small for him. He has a very large chest.}

xmas12All in all, I thought at first I was nuts for putting the tree up on Thanksgiving Day, but it ended up being a smart thing to do.  Ends up Christmas started a little earlier for me this year.  I needed to ship out everyone’s gifts weeks before Christmas.  Thank goodness I finished shopping for everyone back in November.

Since my brother really can’t get any real gifts this Christmas, because he’d have to lug it from country to country for the next however many months, I decided to prepare for a bigger and better Christmas next year since he is missing Christmas this year.

This year is going to be a bit of a dry run.  This is the first year I’ve done a Christmas tree.  I plan on upping the ante for next year, including more incredible gifts than he got last year (because we are making up for a missed Christmas) and prepping the home to make it friendlier for his visits.

My brother is a gamer, so I ordered a new video game system, got a bigger, smarter TV, and now he can’t ask me about why I don’t do Blu Ray.  In other words, this should be a big surprise for him.  The last time I got a new flat screen, he showed up and looked at it and said, “Who got this for you?”  I responded, “I did.”

“I mean…who helped you with this?”

“No one.  I bought it by myself.”

I’m known to play dumb when it comes to technology, that’s why he gets all of my electronics for me.  So doing this without him…I’m hoping he’ll be surprised when he shows up next Christmas.

As for this Christmas, I plan on keeping it low key, opening up gifts and then watching movies at home with some take out Thai food.  Technically, that’s what my brother and I would have done anyway if he was home for Christmas.

I still have the Food Pantry to drop off items to before Christmas so my days of charitable giving are not yet complete.  That means, more shopping to do.

I just want to end this with one last note on giving…for me, I don’t really need presents for myself because I buy what I want when I want it.  I’m never truly in want of anything.  But I realize that God gave me such an amazing life, career, and has taken care of me very well over the years.  I have to share the wealth of what God has given to me.  That means I donate to charities every month (St. Jude’s, Soles for Souls, World Wildlife Foundation and ASPCA).  Once a year, I donate gifts to children in need.  Every season I donate clothes and other items to the Vietnam Veterans of America.  When I do a food order, I order extra items to donate to the food pantry.  It’s an ongoing cycle of giving, because when you give to those who need, the universe returns the favor and provides you with the things you need.  That is why I share the wealth God has given to me.

Giving is not just a one time deal around Christmas, it’s an ongoing thing.  Yes, I am used to donating all of the time.  It’s not a big deal anymore like it was when I first started donating.  It’s part of the life I live.  I know there are people looking for ways to get involved or to be giving during the holidays.  Don’t just think of donating one time a year, do it all of the time.  You’ll find that when you share your wealth with those who need help like children with cancer, animals that need protecting, or families that are hungry, you’ll find that your wealth ultimately grows substantially.

Every great financial adviser in the world will tell you that (and if they don’t, find a new one).  It’s probably the smartest thing you could ever invest in…helping others.  I go above and beyond because that’s what my heart demands.  It has nothing to do with growing my own money.  It’s just what my heart tells me to do.  When you follow your heart, that is what makes this life worth living, because our universe becomes a much more magical place on this journey we are on when we give back.

If you are constantly depleting the bank account of good fortune in life, you’ll end up using it all.  You have to constantly keep making good karmic deposits into that bank account if you want to continue living an incredible life.  It’s just the way it works.

This may be my only post this month, because I’m working on upgrading this site for 2015 and working on new and improved content.  I want to wish each and every one of you a Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!  Many, many blessings to you and your loved ones.

xxoo,

Michelle

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Giving Thanks C-Z

25 November 2014

The days just start to get away with you and before you know it…the holiday is already here, so I’m going to put together the rest of my list…

Giving Thanks from C to Z….

C- Charlie.  Little brothers, no matter where in the world they are, are always important.  Charlie is deployed overseas right now.  He just left Afghanistan.  Who knows where he is now.  I am thankful I’ve had such a supportive brother.  He’s stood by my side through thick and thin because he believes in me.  I’m thankful for him.  {A little sneak peek into next month’s feature…I’m putting together his military Xmas package.}

D- Dorothy.  She’s one of my closest friends.  One thing she said to me that left a strong impact on me was: “Your family is not normal.”  When she said that, I had to take a step back and look at my family from outside of the box.  She’s right.  This family is completely dysfunctional, so why do I even care if I don’t agree with the values they are choosing to embrace?  She introduced me to her family & made me a part of it.  From them, I’ve learned what it means to be a family.  Before her mother died, her mother was teaching me how to raise children.  I’ll never forget her for that.  I’m just thankful Dorothy came into my life when she did.  She showed up when I needed someone like her the most.  She showed me what a family was.

E- Ethel.  She’s a new friend, but she is constantly making me think of ways to be more creative.  Whether it’s a DIY project or a home cooked meal, we are constantly looking for ways to make our projects more amazing.  It helps that she’s a foodie just like me.  It makes for a lot of interesting conversations.

F- Friends.  I’ve been blessed with some great friends.  They’ve made me part of their families. They’ve taught me many things about love, laughter, friendship and families.  At this age, it’s about going through life together.

G- God.  Through him all things are possible.  He’s a father.  He’s a best friend.  He’s a companion.  He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

Mads MikkelsenH- Hannibal.  If it weren’t for the TV show, this site would probably not exist.  Hannibal awakened my fascination into the beauty of perfectionism.  There is something to learning more about culture, music and becoming a culinary artist.  These days I can pick out a classical tune in 3 notes thanks to the world of Dr. Hannibal Lecter.  Of all the things this man does, it’s the perfectionist in him that draws me in.

I- Inside Hockey.  I’ve been with IH for 7 years now.  They weren’t the first publication I wrote for, but they were the first to push me into the press box.  That moment made me go down in the NHL history books as the first 100% internet based website to be credentialed into the NHL.  IH has given me so many amazing opportunities over the years.  For the first few years, I was the one that was traveling all over the world to cover the game.  Now, I’m trying to focus on less, but more qualitative work.  I have a team of people I work with now.  Before, it was just me.  Now, instead of covering every single game, I’m focusing on just feature stories, which ironically requires much more work and research.  It’s harder work, but it’s more of who I am now.

I’m also thankful for Itty Bittys.  They’re Matthew’s favorite toy.  Instead of chewing on me at 3AM, I hand him his Itty Bitty and he starts chomping away.  My hands thank whoever makes Itty Bittys.

J- Joseph Delaney.  If there is one name that is repeated again and again on my books I’ve read this year list, it’s Joseph Delaney.  His Spook series (“The Last Apprentice”) has kept me entertained all year long.  I’ve read every single one of his books.  I just can’t get enough.

K- KitchenAid Mixer.  Who knew that this old school mixer would not just be the most beautiful thing in my kitchen but also the most important appliance?

L- Love.  There is no greater thing in the universe.  When you love and feel loved, it is everything.

matthew2M- Matthew Lucifer.  The latest edition to my family may be the cutest little guy on the face of the earth, but he can also be Lucifer himself reincarnated into a cat.  Either way, as much money as this Maine Coon has cost me over the last 3 months, he has been worth every single penny.  He’s learning to tame his Lucifer side as the days go by.  He has been a little godsend because he makes me laugh.  He’s still a little kid inside, and that’s what makes him so much fun.

N- New York City. God, I love this place.  I have enjoyed every single second here.  NYC is not a place I regret.  It’s a place I fall in love with every single day.

O- Oprah.  While this may be funny to some, Oprah (and her magazine “O”) has really made me think a lot about life.  She puts out there thoughts to consider on how to live your best life possible.  She’s found the secret to happiness and she’s trying to help the world discover it for themselves.  While I know what that secret is, I’ve learned that there is so much more to learn and understand.  Life is more fulfilling when you realize what the secret to happiness is and how to make it grow.  Oprah is constantly pointing us in that direction.  I always love hearing from the people she’s found.  Knowledge is a wonderful thing.  I’m thankful for the knowledge she is sharing with all of us.

P- Pinterest.  Pinterest is a wonderful place.  It’s filled with so many ideas, so much food, and it pushes me in the direction of discovering a new blogger that I may enjoy.  I love sharing pins with friends and even trying out a few pins here and there.  It’s become my filing system for recipes galore.  Gotta love it.

Q- Queens.  You either love it or you hate it.  Queens hosts Flushing, NY, my favorite Chinatown.  I hate going there because people are so rude, but it has what I need and the food there is AMAZING.  The food outweighs the bad behavior.

R- Red Basil. This is my favorite Thai restaurant.  What makes me love the restaurant so much is that the food tastes just like Mom’s home cooking.  But it’s not just the food there, it’s the people.

S- Surita.  My other cat in my life.  She’s been with me for 14 years.  She is the one that loves me most.  I can’t imagine going to bed without her by my side.  Sure, she’s been mad at me for bringing home a Maine Coon, but I think she likes him.  She just doesn’t like to share me.  She’s still boss.  She never let’s any of us forget that.

T- Todd English’s Ca Va. This is my favorite restaurant in all of NYC.  They make food the way I love food…with flavors that just burst on your tongue with every single bite you take.  Before my surgery, I was a regular there.  Post-op, not so much because my taste buds weren’t there.  In 2015, I plan on going back to my weekly haunt.  Why?  Because they treat me so well there.  I’m thankful to them for making food just the way I love it.

U- The Universe.  The Universe is a wonderful thing.  When you learn how to tap into what the universe can offer, you’re in for one amazing ride in life.

V- Vinegar.  Vinegar is a wonderful thing.  You can add it to your food when you need something a little tart.  It is your cure all for cleaning in a non-toxic way.  That heat stain on my brand new black table?  Applied vinegar onto it, soaked a towel in vinegar and put it over it (reapplied)…heat stain is gone in a couple of days.  Vinegar is my miracle juice.

W- Willy Wonka.  Everyone has their favorite childhood candies.  Mine come in the form of Willy Wonka.  From Nerds to Laffy Taffy to the good ole pixie sticks.  Willy Wonka has been providing me with my sugar highs for the majority of my life.  Where would I be without him?

X- X-Men.  Because who knew you could look so hot in your mid-40s?  Hugh Jackman’s definition of what he does for his character Wolverine can put anyone’s diet and workout regimen to shame.  That is dedication.  I’m thankful for X-Men for making Hugh Jackman work so hard at being hot.

Y- Yoga.  I’m thankful for yoga because it has helped me in so many ways, including rolling out those aches I get in my lower back.

Z- Zen.  Being ‘zen’ is probably the biggest challenge for everyone on this planet, but it’s a meditative thought process we should all learn to achieve.  Knowledge is power.  Applying those principles to our daily lives is the challenge.  Once it ceases to be a challenge, you are an enlightened being.  I am thankful that there are principles like these out there to help human beings evolve into better human beings.

All in all the thing I’m most thankful for is this amazing life.  I’ve been very fortunate over the years to have a good job, good friends, a dream career, amazing health insurance, more than enough, and an amazing adventure.  It’s the adventure I’m on that I’m most thankful for.  I thank God for giving me the amazing adventure in life every single day.  It’s a charmed life.  It’s not luck.  It’s about being on your path in life.  When you’re on your path in life everything works out more magically than you can ever imagine your life to be.  If you’re not on your path, nothing works out.  I’m just thankful that life, the good and the bad, happened the way it happened.  If it hadn’t, it wouldn’t have made me who I am today.  I’ve enjoyed the ride.

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Giving Thanks: B

7 November 20149 May 2015

b

There are a lot of things I can think of this year under the letter B that I’m thankful for.

1. Borbay.  One of my favorite painters based in NYC created Mads as Hannibal for me as part of his Antihero series.  Mads is done.  He’s an expensive Christmas present to myself, so I’m making sure Borbay holds onto it for me so that my new cat (Matthew Lucifer) doesn’t get into the presents and decide to rip it apart before it is hung up on the wall.  I’m really thankful that Borbay suggested doing this painting for me back a few months ago.  It now allows me to own one of his works after admiring his artwork for so many years.

2.  Books.  I love to read.  I love to write, too.  Books have been able to help me understand life as a whole, allowed me to escape into an adventurous story, feel an angel’s kiss on the lips, and dive into the stories of an entire village.  From Cassandra Clare’s books to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s stories to The Count of Monte Cristo to One Hundred Years of Solitude, I’ve grown as a human being because of books.  As the hockey season came underway, I usually never read hockey books, but this season, a bunch of hockey books came out that demanded my attention.  They even allowed me to meet the writers, and even uncover the story of one player’s childhood that had me gasping in disbelief…”If this is what it took for him to make it into the NHL, I feel so sorry for him and heartbroken.”  Those are the stories I read.  One thing I’ve learned by reading and meeting these authors…it makes writing my own book as real as ever as I listen to their pointers and learn what is so great about the stories they’re telling beyond it just being a good book.

3. Bauble Bar.  Bauble Bar is my favorite jeweler.  The majority of my jewelry collection is from this young company.  They’ve grown dramatically since I first discovered them a few years ago.  The famous peacock cuff I purchased from them for the NHL Awards just a few weeks after they launched their site was the cuff that skyrocketed them to stardom.  If you don’t believe me, just ask their staff and owners about that hockey writer and the peacock cuff.  It was that cuff I wore to the NHL Awards that gained them a huge and very loyal following.  This month, American Horror Story: Freak Show’s Emma Roberts is their guest bartender.  I think it’s awesome that they’ve now gone Hollywood.  I highly recommend them if you’re trying to build your jewelry wardrobe.  Their prices are reasonable.  They have sales.  But most of all, their jewelry is qualitative and beautiful.  Check them out.  After all, Christmas is next month.  You’ll not only find fabulous gifts, but you may even find a few things you’ll want for yourself.

*****ETC.*****

This weekend I’ll be cooking up some Thanksgiving meals to share here.  Thanksgiving can be one of the most difficult days of the year to put together a meal.  I’m starting the tradition a little earlier to give you a chance to pick up some ideas on what to make on the big Turkey Day.

One of the key things about making TDay successful is to also have a good enough meal that will allow you to reinvent amazing dishes with the leftovers.  I have one special turkey recipe that without fail turns each dish I create afterward into something any foodie will sing over.  It’s all in the details of how the turkey comes out.

So if you’re a foodie that’s thankful for amazing food…stay tuned.  Details to follow next week!

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