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Tag Archives: happiness

The Joy Project: How to Find Joy In Your Life

3 August 20173 August 2017

Are you unhappy with how things are going in your life?  Do you have dreams you want to accomplish, but can’t seem to figure out where to start?  Is everything not turning out the way you want it to?

What if I told you that there is a way you can turn that life you do not want completely off?  You can go to the next chapter of your life or start an entirely new book.  What if there is a way you can make your dreams come true by changing how you are doing things right now?



The Secret

In my quest into learning how to live and have a better life, I watched “The Secret” on Netflix.  I read the book ten years ago and decided to refresh my memory on the importance of thinking positive all of the time.  After watching the film, I felt refreshed and happier.  I realized what I could do to change my narrative and become the person I dreamed of being.

I decided to take what I learned from this refresher course and do life differently.  I created a new mission and called it The Joy Project.

This project is designed to reshape how we view everything in life.  Rather than seeing a pile of dishes in the sink, I ask myself now, “What will bring me joy?”  As I wash each dish, I think of how a clean spotless kitchen will bring me joy, which in turn creates a better atmosphere while I do a mundane task.

As I continue to think of joy and create affirmations on the importance of living a joyful life, I find that I don’t remember washing that last dish.  I just feel happy and filled with joy before I even realize the kitchen is now spotless.  I went through and cleaned every single surface without even thinking about it, because I was so focused on what would bring me joy: a spotless kitchen.



Procrastinate No More

Each time I walk into the kitchen now, I feel joy at seeing clean, clutter-free counters, a shiny microwave, and everything in its place.  My kitchen is now impeccably spotless (for the first time ever).  If something strikes me as not being joyful (like a dirty floor), it bothers me.  It will continue to bother me until it is spotless.

Trust me, I am a procrastinator just like most people.  It is a little trait I have been trying to fix since I was in college.  I will walk by that same spot for weeks thinking I really should get to that before I actually do.  With The Joy Project, I started to look at procrastination differently.  I started to see how I was hurting myself and that was not something I wanted to do anymore.  I cannot have what I want (a spotless home) if I keep putting things off.

Procrastination, in a large way, brings us sorrow.  Putting things off as if we will have forever to do them is a fallacy that we must fix in our minds.  We are only promised the present, not the future.  If we want joy, we must focus on bringing joy into our lives now, not tomorrow.

One book that really helped me redefine how I do things is The 5 Second Rule.  If you find yourself putting things off all of the time, you must read Mel Robbins’s book.  She teaches you how to turn your life around.  Instead of putting things off, countdown from 5 to 1 and then get moving.

This book really helps in the morning.  For me, as a writer, I try to wake up early so I can write.  In the past, when that alarm went off, I immediately turned it off and went back to sleep, waiting for the real alarm at 7 a.m.  Now, I lament for one second that it is time to get up before I start the countdown: 5-4-3-2-1 and go.

When you stop procrastinating, you stop creating sorrow for yourself.  There is a sense of joy when you get things done and not wait until later to do them.



Testing Out the Theory

When I first started this project, I wrote out a list of affirmations.  I focused on the things I wanted out of life, thinking over how to say those affirmations in the most positive way.  Like most people, my first affirmation was about wealth and increasing it.  The only way I could do that was to create positive vibes all around me as I repeated the mantras.

On the first day, I focused on creating joy in my life, because the way the law of the universe works is that the things you want most out of life comes to you quicker when you are happy, joyful, and positive.  I went through that pile of dishes thinking of the word ‘joy’ and what it meant to me.  What is joy?  I repeated to myself: “I welcome joy into my life.”

I wanted to create joy and surround myself in it, repeating the word ‘joy’ over and over again.  Before I knew it, the kitchen was spotless.

I didn’t even stress over how much of a disarray it was in before I started.  I actually felt like I upped my cleaning game without even noticing.  Everything was exactly the way I hoped it would be.  I could feel happiness brimming over with so much joy every single time I looked at my spectacularly clean counters.  I never thought they would ever look so clean and uncluttered.

The funny thing about this is that I focused on joy, not cleanliness.  I took the concept of joy and told myself I will be happy if my home is spectacularly clean and beautiful like we see in magazines and Instagram photos.  By focusing on joy, I lost sight of the labor and what I was doing.  When I stopped, I realized what I did, how focusing on joy actually helped me bring actual joy into my life.



It Takes a Lot of Work, Baby!

Creating joy in your life takes a lot of work.  A LOT OF WORK.  The reason why it is so difficult is because our minds are trained to think and absorb the negative easily.  Every day, our thoughts tend to lean towards anger, dissatisfaction, and annoyance.  We pass judgment and are demeaning to ourselves many times before we even walk out the front door.

Joy does not come easily.  You have to work for that joy you ultimately want. By constantly keeping your thoughts in check, you will be able to change the negative narrative into a positive one.  You have to reteach yourself how to think better thoughts.

It is easier to think negatively, but with lots of practice, you will be able to switch that thought process.  Thinking positively all of the time will become easier than thinking negative.  That is and always should be your goal in life…to think, be and feel positive all of the time.

With “The Secret,” you create positive affirmations to ask for what you want.  So while you are asking the universe for X, you will get an answer on how to accomplish X.  It always requires you to take advantage of the answers that come your way, but it still requires you to do the work to get what you’re asking for.

For instance, after two weeks of doing the affirmations and constantly thinking about joy, the answer came to me on how I would generate more wealth.  The blog!

I instantly netted three new sponsors, one of them a major sponsor.  I surpassed my monthly hustle financial goal, doubling it.  Google sent me a letter asking me where to send the check to (i.e. the site made money).  The answer to creating the wealth I wanted was presented to me and I ran with it.  I know that in order to really get what I want in the end, I have to work extremely hard for it.  The universe presented me with the solution on how I was going to accomplish my dream.  I put a lot of work into it and the universe rewarded me accordingly.



Creating Joy Begins Inside

I firmly believe that the first place you need to create joy is inside of your home.  Begin by repeating the word joy in your mind.  I repeat to myself, “I am creating joy.”  I branch off to say where I am creating joy, how I am sharing it within my home and with the world (because the universe looks favorably on sharing good things with the world).

I express gratitude around me for the things I am fortunate to have, the wealth I already have, and the dreams I already accomplished.  Being thankful increases my wealth of joy.

Every morning, I practice meditation and mindfulness by repeating my positive affirmations of what I want in life.  I say them out loud in the shower and repeat them over and over in my head as I commute to work.  While I do each task, I remind myself that I do this with joy.

When I sit down at my desk, I write down in a notebook: “What will bring me joy today?”  I create my joy to do list (which essentially is my to do list), and how completing those tasks will bring me joy.  For instance, finishing X project means I will not worry later, wondering if I did it or not.  It means finishing this now will be one less thing I have to do later.

In everything you do, tell yourself how doing each task will bring you joy.  You will find the task much easier to do, and the feeling of happiness that you will feel after you complete it will help you increase your joy.  In the long run, it will help push you further to making your affirmations become reality.



How Does This Equate to Accomplishing Your Dream?

Think about it.  Living your dream means you will be happy, right?  It will bring you immense joy, correct?

If you are putting in the work to help make your dreams come true, you need to focus on the joy and happiness that will come by making that emotion happen now and throughout the process.  That is part of the journey.  Start with the world around you by inserting joy into your thoughts and how you approach every single thing you do.

Most of all, you will begin to see your world change.  The way you view life will be anew.  You will begin to see those positive affirmations coming true sooner, rather than later.  As a result, those wealth affirmations you keep repeating may start seeing some actual zeros in your bank account.

The universe rewards those putting out positive energy and doing good things for the world.  Creating joy in your own life spills over into the world around you.  It helps other people find their own moment of happiness.  It is like you are bestowing a gift of joy onto other people, and that actually makes the world into a better place.



Action Item: Start Small

Through God all things are possible.  You’ve heard that, right?  If you really want to create the most powerful affirmations, you create them with God.  If you don’t believe in God, stick to “The Secret” version of things.  If you believe in God (not talking about Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, etc.), then you must start your affirmations with Him.

In Brahma Kumari’s murlis (i.e. God’s words), we know that if you remember God in everything that you do (because He is the embodiment of love, peace and joy), then you will be entitled to your own fortune.  He will take great care of you by rewarding you for your service to him and to the world.

This knowledge can be applied to every religion.  If you approach everything you do by remembering God, then you will create joy at a much higher level.

For instance, the way I approach how things are done in my home is by thinking of God while I clean.  Is this home worthy of God?  If I were to invite God to live with me in my home, would I be proud of the way things look?  Is my home worthy of God?

It’s not just about making things clean.  It’s about creating an atmosphere, or a sort of energy, that embodies the same virtues God has.

In creating joy, start with these action items.

  1.  Meditate when you first wake up in the morning.  This is not prayer.  Meditation is the act of silencing your mind and going within.  If this is your first time, close your eyes.  Think of the word joy and what it means to you.  Sit there and contemplate that word for one minute, gradually working your way up to ten minute meditations.  This is about learning how to make your mind powerful.
  2. Start creating joy in everything you do by starting in your home.  A happy home is a healthy home.  With everything you do, practice mindfulness.  Concentrate on what you are doing and incorporating the thoughts of joy and what it means to you.
  3. As you shower, say your affirmations out loud.  For instance, “I attract a positive flow of wealth to me every single day.”  Whatever it is that you are dreaming of.  Start saying your affirmations over and over again in the most positive way that you can.  Make sure there are no negative words in your affirmations or it will conflict with what you are trying to accomplish.
  4. On your commute, repeat the affirmations over and over again in your mind.
  5. When you sit down to work, write in a notebook: “What will bring me joy today?”  Write down your to do list and think of how tackling each item will bring you joy.  How can you reward yourself for a job well done?
  6. As you go throughout the day, try eliminating negative thoughts from your mind and replacing them with positive thoughts.  Your mind must be constantly positive.  If you notice you are starting to think negatively, take a step back, acknowledge this is happening and immediately focus on something positive.  This is about training yourself to stop thinking negatively and to start focusing on being positive.
  7. Don’t forget to share your gratitude with the universe.  Say it in your mind.  Write it down.  However you like to do it, share with the universe everything you are already grateful for.
  8. But most of all, smile.  Be happy.  Let that joy be your mission.  What’s the point of having a dream if it does not bring you joy?  Focus on the joy first, then go after your dream.  Having your mind in the right place from the beginning will help you make the correct decisions in the long term to making your dream come true in such a way that it will be way better than you could ever imagine it to be.  That’s the dream you want to live.




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What Makes God Happy?

14 December 201614 December 2016

I don’t often share my meditations anymore, but I thought I would share this one, just because it really makes you think outside of yourself.  This is about finding a way to be happy by thinking beyond just yourself.

Usually when we speak to God, whether through prayer or meditation, it is always about what we want. We are always asking for this, that and the other, never stopping to ask God how was his day.  How many of us really take the time to ask God how he’s doing?  How many of you ever have?

When I started off my meditation the other night, I asked him, “What do you want me to know?”  [As in, what should we talk about that concerns me?]  Then I stopped and said, “Wait.  That is selfish of me.  Let’s try something else.  Tell me…what makes you happy?”




I honestly don’t think anyone has ever asked God that.  Sure, in many religions, someone will say we should do things that will make God happy with us.  Asking about God’s happiness is always centered on a selfish reason, like ‘are you happy with me?’  Are we doing good things in God’s eyes?  It is always a self reflection of ourselves, rather than just asking God…what is good or what makes him happy.

So what did God reveal when asked this question?  The answer is much simpler than you can ever imagine.  Here are a few examples of what makes God happy…

  • The laughter of a child.
  • Playing games with your child, chasing them around outside.
  • Sitting down, talking, sharing and laughing with good friends.
  • The sun shining on your face.
  • Counting the stars in the sky.
  • Lying down in the grass, watching the clouds go by next to the person you love (like your child).
  • The person you love (like your child) wrapping their arms around you and leaning their head against your chest.
  • A hug from someone you love (like your child).

There is a common theme in all of this.  The first one being that none of the things that makes God happy centers around material things.  Not a single thing above deals with objects.  Instead, it deals with people and nature.  God’s happiness is found in sharing love with those around you and finding peace in nature.




These examples are all very simplistic moments, but they are all things that we take for granted each and every day.  We take for granted how it feels to hold someone you love.  We don’t take time to meet with friends to talk and laugh together in an outside environment, enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature.  We don’t chase after our kids and play with them outside.  How many of us sit down and even look at the stars every night?  [Those of us who live in the city don’t even have the luxury of seeing stars in the sky.]

Can you remember the last time you laid down in the grass and watched the clouds floating by?  I think it’s been decades ago for me.

When you truly think about doing those things (and the last time you actually did them), did it bring a moment of happiness to your heart?  Remember when those moments were so pure, innocent and peaceful?  Those are the moments that make God happy.

Thinking of those examples, when you want to find your own moment of happiness, ask God what makes him happy.  Truly open your mind to see what it reveals.  If that moment brings you a little bit of love, peace and happiness, hold onto that happy thought.

Take that happy thought and go one step further.  When it comes to service, think of the things that make God happy and using that as a guideline, consider thinking of what will make others happy.  Do things for others that will truly make them happy (note that this has nothing to do with material things).

Spend time with the people you love.  I mean, really go outside and spend time with them.  Don’t bring your devices with you to distract you.  Disconnect from technology so you can relearn how to connect with each other.  Those are the moments both you and your loved ones are going to remember for the rest of your lives.

This is how you create happiness.  True happiness comes from a place of love.




In the Grand Scheme of Things

After my meditation, I found how easily my world changed around me.  I went to take the trash out and noticed a dog waiting outside of my door with his owner.  It was like he was waiting for me to come out.  I had never seen him before.  I know a lot of the dogs in the neighborhood.  This one, I did not know.

I put the trash on the curb, and the dog came over as if to say good morning.  I felt like this was the universe saying good morning in the happiest way possible.  The owner of the dog was just beaming.

On the way to the train, I noticed an old man sitting in a potted plant doing his #2 business.  I had never seen anyone do that before.  He waved at me as I was passing by and said, “Good morning!” in a very cheery tone.  I didn’t know what to say, so I said good morning back.

I got a block away before I realized…ok…you can’t help but laugh at something like that.




One moment after another was just one more moment of happiness to add to the list.

Embracing God’s happiness and keeping the thoughts of what makes him happy does bring happiness into your own life in incredible ways.  It is like the universe conspires to bring happiness right to your door.

Just seeing that dog sitting in front of my door waiting for me to come out…that, to me, was the universe winking back at me.  That is the kind of life I like to live, one where the universe conspires to bring happiness into my life in all the little moments out there.




 

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Make Everyone Happy: Remembering Gene Wilder

30 August 2016

wilderYesterday, we lost Gene Wilder.  He was 83 years old when he passed away.

For many people, he brought laughter and many smiles that reached down deep into the very heart of mankind.  He touched our souls and filled it with happiness.  His character, Willy Wonka, became a part of that very fond story every child remembers from their childhood.

Depending on when you were born and your first Wilder movie, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The World’s Greatest Lover, or Stir Crazy, they became the movies you fondly remember of Gene Wilder.  Whichever movie is the movie that made you laugh in wonder for the very first time, that laughter and happiness is what he carries with him as his soul goes forward.

Gene Wilder’s movies, just like Robin Williams’ movies, were very much a part of my childhood.  They created movies in a new way, creating fond memories that people still hold close to their hearts.  Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor were my modern day childhood version of Bing Crosby and Jerry Lewis and the legendary team of Abbott and Costello (and yes, I saw all of these films as a kid).

Losing Gene Wilder brings great sorrow to my heart.  I plan on binging on his movies after I finish my current binge.

[For those with DirecTV and cable, you’ll find many of his movies available for free On Demand.  Movie channels are also notorious for changing their programming to allow people to binge watch an actor’s movies after they have passed away (and on the anniversary of their death if they were popular and missed – like Robin Williams).  You can also binge watch his films on Netflix and Amazon Prime.  If you can’t find it there, dust off your library card and check the movies out for free at your local library.]


I’m In Heaven

While I was walking to the library last night, I was thinking about Gene Wilder and how sad I was that he was no longer with us.   Then I heard Louis Armstrong singing “I’m in heaven.”  I could envision Wilder singing and dancing around, happy as a lamb in that tuxedo from Young Frankenstein.  It made me smile.  He’s in a very happy place, so no one should be sad for him.

On the way home from the library, I heard the song again.  Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing “I’m in heaven,” from “Cheek to Cheek.”  Those were the only lyrics that kept playing over and over again: “I’m in heaven.”  There were no other words from the song, just “I’m in heaven” again and again.


Knowing how strange that was and for it to happen twice, I brought it up in my meditation last night.  What was explained was this…this is how you do life correctly.  If you want to make a lasting impact on your own life and be rewarded in the afterlife, you create happiness for others.  You want people speaking wonderful things about you when you die, so give them something to be happy about.  Impact their lives with happiness.  That is the goal everyone should have: to create everlasting happiness in the world.

That is what Gene Wilder did.  In the letter his nephew wrote, he spoke of when Gene was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, he did not want the world to know so that when children would see Willy Wonka, it would not be filled with sadness when parents had to explain what had happened to him.  He wanted that pure innocence and joy of seeing Willy Wonka to be something amazing for the children and not marked with sadness by his illness.  He did not want to scar this incredible moment for the child because a parent would have to explain to them about the illness, thus creating a sad moment instead of a happy moment.


He wanted the kids to be happy when they saw him.

That is the most important thing about life: to make others happy.  Make them laugh.  Let your legacy be about the happiness you brought to others so that when it is your time to depart this life, the world will be speaking wonders of how happy you made them.

What Gene Wilder brought to the world was laughter and happiness.  That’s the way the world sent him off, with happy blessings for all of the happiness he brought to them.  That is the key ingredient to having a blissful afterlife.  Ask yourself: How did you make the world feel about your existence here?


Making People Happy Long After You Are Gone

The Moroccans tell a tale from 1927 of an American woman who loved animals. She was appalled at the working conditions of the animals there, so she created an animal hospital (called the American Fondouk (fondouk means ‘inn’)) in Fez, Morocco.  There, any working animal can be treated for its ailments for free.  For those with pets, they have to pay a fee for their care.  [Since donkeys and horses are essential to the work people do in Morocco, to lose an animal could mean loss of income.  If you can afford to have a pet, then you should be able to pay for its care.]  MORE ON THAT STORY.

It is her kindness, that decades after her death, is still remembered.  They still speak praises of her and what she did for the people there.  Her good works continue long after her passing.  Her family may have forgotten her, but the people of Morocco remember her for the good she brought to them and continues to bring to them.


Live Life Miraculously

You want to live life miraculously?  Make your life story about what you did for others.  Let the world remember you for the great things you did to uplift them.

For Gene Wilder, he brought the world happiness.  He left this world hearing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  I’m sure he’s happily dancing and singing his way through the corridors of heaven.  The world remembers how happy he made them.  That’s the way we should all leave this world, letting the world remember how happy we made them.  Our world is better for it.  That is the obligation we owe to this gift called life.  Repay the kindness of this gift of life by doing something extraordinarily good for the world.


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