There is a family court case I’ve been following for the past year. This case goes all the way back to the time A* was 2 years old. He is now 11 years old.
His parents never married, but they have been in a constant custody battle for the past 9 (going on 10) years.
The trial finally arrived this week…and what came out of it has left me in complete shock.
I’d like to go over a few things that came up in this case that has me scratching my head and thinking…so this is what NY State has to say is the correct way to parent a child?
1. The father is a very caring man. Loves his son…he would give the world for his son. He’s been going full force into this battle for his son because his son asked him to.
He pays for all expenses his son incurs. Pays for schooling, sports, activities, dental, health, clothes, etc.
He really goes all out to take care of his son.
He and his family make sure to give A* the best life possible. They are a loving and caring family.
2. The mother has been a party girl her entire life. She’s a drunk, was drunk the majority of the time during her pregnancy.
She recently got drunk and told A* when she stumbled into the apartment that she was going to put a hit out on him and have him killed.
She’s hit him with knives. On numerous occassions, she’s told her son how much she hates him. She hits him all of the time. Degrades him all of the time and makes her son contemplate killing himself (he’s already been known to hurt himself purposely by ramming his own head into the wall).
3. A* says he wants to live with his father. He hates his mother. He talks about how he wants to kill both the mother and his step-father.
He tells his father he loves him all of the time. He’s a sweet kid with a pure heart that is kind to everyone. He’s more like his father and is a very loving child.
But when the subject of his mother comes up, you can see the child change into an angry child filled with hate and disappointment towards his mother.
His mother told him that if he didn’t lie to the Court and tell the Court that his father was a bad father, then she would have his father killed. So naturally, the child fearing for his father’s life…LIED to the Court…and then later confessed that the reason why he lied was because his mother said she would have his father killed if he didn’t.
4. The court’s decision in the matter…
The father is a bad father. There is something wrong with a child hugging his parent and telling him that he loves him all of the time.
The father is wrong to place the child into sports or take him to get his teeth done.
The mother’s drunkenness and threats to have the son killed along with hitting the child with a knife has been overlooked.
The bad parent is the FATHER according to the Court and the mother is raising the child the way the child should be raised.
CONCLUSION. Am I wrong in thinking that something is wrong with this situation?
The mother is being rewarded and being told that her method of parenting is the correct way, while the father’s method was wrong.
The father is being ripped of his custodial rights over the child. The court has refused him entry saying that he is a scumbag.
When the child was first taken away from him, he acted like any normal parent would act…out of anger on the verge of insanity that his child was taken from him. His child is his world. Any normal person would have the same reaction. You see it in the animal kingdom as well. The parent will go after whoever has taken their child away.
His son was handed over to a woman who is a drunk and threatens the son with death all of the time.
Am I wrong in thinking that the Court is wrong? The Court has decided that the bad parenting is the good parenting and the good parenting is the bad parenting.
Or is this a child that has slipped through the system that no one really cares about?
A*’s friends talk about how suicidal the child has been after he was stripped of all rights to see his father. He’s hurt himself continuously because of it.
The interests of the child are non-existent. What this court case is really about…the mother and the father.
The mother is punishing the father for leaving her. That’s what this court case is really about…and A* is caught in the middle.
For many years, the mother was absent in the child’s life. During the summer when he was out of school and all vacations, she willingly sent him to his father because she wanted nothing to do with the child.
She ran out on the child when he was just a few days old. That left the child in the hands of the father…that is why the child bonded so well with the father and not the mother. Those first few days are the most precious days of bonding for the parents. If it is gone, it cannot be repaired.
Then she came back months later (the drunk that she was) wanting back in…and then she kidnapped the child stating that if the father wanted to see him again then he had to marry her.
Well, marriage wasn’t forthcoming, but she moved in.
The real reason why this has gone on for so long is because the mother is in love with the father, but based on everything that’s happened, the father of the child has no interest in the mother. Because she knows that, she is trying to make his life a living hell and destroy him because she did not get what she wanted out of him…his love.
Sure, this could end up as a book someday, but all of this is a true story.
And the Court has given the mother full custody and told the father to give up because he is a scumbag that should not be allowed anywhere near his son ever again.
Did I miss something in all of this? How is it that the mother that didn’t give a rat’s ass about her son (still doesn’t) is being awarded her meal ticket and the father is being accused of being the scum of the earth?
Is it not okay to love your children?
Is it okay to be a drunk that threatens to have your son killed?
Is it not okay to nurture and care for your children, put them up in the best schools, go to their after school activities, place them in after school activities (sports, etc.)?
Is it okay to beat your children?
Is it not okay to take your child to the dentist to have their teeth fixed?
Is it okay to demean your kids continuously?
I don’t think I got the memo that good=bad and bad=good. But apparently the NY court system believes that bad parenting is good parenting.
This is yet another child lost in the system that will end up on the front pages of the papers when either his mother kills him or he commits suicide.