Tag Archives: resolutions

Editor’s Letter January 2024: Goals and Resolutions

Happy New Year! 

I took the first week of the year off to recuperate from the final stretch of 2023.  It was nine glorious days of forcing myself to do absolutely nothing. But nine days ended up not being a lot of time to recuperate from 2023.

At the end of the year and during my time off, I started building my list of goals and resolutions I wanted to begin in 2024.  I came up with one singular theme: HEAL YOURSELF.

This year, I’ll be sharing my journey on what I am doing to heal myself.  But perhaps, I need to explain what that means.  As we grow older, our body changes.  For women, we start to suffer from perimenopause.  Perimenopause can last from a few years to well over a decade.  For those who have a history of cancer or have had surgery, that means the symptoms for perimenopause are heightened.  I fall into that category, especially since it was removing a hormonal gland (due to a tumor) that kickstarted perimenopause when I was 38.  Almost 10 years ago.

I knew I was suffering from perimenopause in that first year because a polar vortex hit me, and I was stripping my coat off because I was burning up.  That’s not how weather works in the coldest January that NYC had seen in a while.

As the years progressed, the symptoms grew worse from night sweats to headaches to every part of my body being in a constant state of pain.  2020 didn’t make things any better.  I lost muscle mass rapidly.  Spending these last two years doing 10k+ steps 5 days a week with no change meant that I needed to change things up.

Diet and exercise.  That is the key to beginning to fix all of these problems.  Many people would become angry the second a doctor would suggest this (and trust me, I did, too).  But as you grow older, you kind of have no choice.  You’re not as young as you used to be.  You can physically see and feel how putting off exercise and a healthy lifestyle causes you harm.  BUT what they don’t tell you is that you need to focus on healing your hormonal issues. 

What they don’t tell you is that cardio will not work.  You need to focus only on walking, weight training, resistance training, and stretching (i.e. yoga).  Your diet needs to be plant based.  You need to drink more water.  You need to focus on certain vitamins.  Stop using hormone disrupter beauty products.  The list goes on with everything you need to change.

But there’s also your mental health.  I discovered that hormonal imbalances can trigger anxiety.  Trust me when I say I never had anxiety problems until a year ago. Like I said, perimenopause does something insane with your body, and it happens overnight.

So this year, my focus is on healing this body and correcting all of the hormonal imbalances.  I would like to be pain free, have my hair grow back, stop hormonal based cancers from occurring, and just get to healthy and focus on living a healthy last half of my life.

Speaking of the last half of my life, healing myself this year also means changing how I approach how I treat myself, especially when it comes to finances. Two months ago, I decided to fix how I approached finances because I was not happy with how things were going. I WORRIED. So 2024 is about making sure to heal that worry. It is incredible how quickly your finances change when you decide to make yourself the priority and not everyone else.

Another quest in my journey to heal myself is to do the things I have been putting off doing and then hating myself for not doing it. SIGH. The life of a writer. I may not be writing here as much because I’ve been working on two novels (at the same time). Sometimes it takes a writer 8-10 years to write a book. Most of the time, it’s the inner dialogue we are having with ourselves as we embrace our fears, instead of just creating what we know is already in our heads. This year, I am forcing myself to finish the books and create an ongoing writing system, so that I am always writing and publishing my work.

I started pitching my work and it’s funny how the publisher that you know in your gut is going to publish your work starts doing their due diligence.

When I took a class at Conde Nast College in London, one of the things the editor of Allure magazine kept telling me was my strong points were my writing and my photography. That led to a class with Nigel Barker and I started doing some fashion photography, as well as street fashion photography. Of course, when life keeps happening, you stop doing those things because you don’t have the time. Imagine just 12 days into 2024 and I’m being asked to do PAID corporate photo jobs. My friend, Grace, told me that maybe it’s time to get things together. Make this a side gig.

Which leads me to the last topic of resolutions and goals. I’m getting older. I know that maybe it’s just going to be me and Matthew (the Maine Coon) from here on out. I need to start thinking seriously about the last half of my life. I have to come up with a plan to make sure money is always coming in if I can’t work anymore. I have to think about how we’re going to live if I get sick and can’t work. I have to create a plan that will take care of us for the rest of our lives.

It’s funny how when you start prioritizing setting up your finances, creating financial goals, and working on generating passive income (in other words, focusing on paying yourself first and preparing for your future), the universe starts helping you. Two months ago, I was worried about how I was going to pay bills. Then I created a plan to get myself out of the worry. I didn’t care who was asking for money. Any money that came in, I paid myself 10% right off the bat. That is what I earned for myself. That belonged to ME. No one was allowed to have it, except ME. Then, all of a sudden, the universe started sending more money my way. In two months, I came up with 1/3 of my 2024 goal, and 11% of the long-term goal. IN TWO MONTHS. Oh, and I stopped worrying.

At one point, I got a call from Bank of America. There are certain banks that will help you reach your financial goals. While I was on the call, she gave me some financial advice and as soon as I got off the phone, I put her advice to work. It’s like I had an “Aha!” moment. She helped me figure out how to navigate the worst of the pickle I had found myself in, and put myself in a place where I didn’t have to worry anymore. Then the universe followed suit.

Grace told me at some point in our lives when Saturn Returns, everything you didn’t fix in life will become much harder to fix, unless you make sacrifices to ensure you’ve learned your lessons and you actively fix your mistakes. You have 20 years to fix it or things will get worse for you. That is why it is important to fix things that are hurting you in your life. Even the universe gets involved with making things better or worse. But I will tell you something, when you are doing the right thing, the universe helps you continue to do the right thing. If you’re doing the wrong thing, the universe will continue to help you do the wrong thing. See how that works?

So in 2024, you’ll be seeing a change in me. No more procrastinating. Just doing. The only way I can heal myself is to get up off my lazy butt and do something about it. Hopefully, you’ll find what I’m sharing on this journey will help you along the way.

XOXO,
Michelle

Learning How to Love Yourself

When I began my journey this year into the foreign domain of learning how to love myself, I had no idea what would happen.  I had certain goals in mind for the year.  When I looked at my long list of resolutions, I kept asking myself how I was going to accomplish all of this.  I mean, what exactly does it mean to love yourself?

Loving yourself is about stopping yourself from causing yourself anymore sorrow.  It is about taking a deep internal look into your dreams, your desires, your wants and aspirations, and deciding that you will stop making excuses and take the chance of living the life you daydream about every single waking second.

Loving yourself means believing you are worthy enough to be a greater version of yourself.



No More Sorrow

It is so much easier to notice when we cause sorrow to others.  When we realize we hurt someone, we feel remorse and quickly try to fix things, or at least try to say that we are sorry.

But what about the sorrow we cause ourselves every single day?  How many lies and empty promises do we tell ourselves every single day?  Tomorrow, we will go on a diet.  In the morning, we will get up early to write our novel.  We will head to the gym, first thing tomorrow morning.

The future is our excuse, because we have this insane belief that we have an unlimited amount of time on this Earth.  We will do everything in the future and never right now.  Yet, when tomorrow becomes today, we are back to telling ourselves the same thing, “Tomorrow, I will…”.  I mean, seriously.  Who are we kidding?

Putting off everything keeps us in a constant state of sorrow.  The reason why we make empty promises is because when we say we are going to change, we are coming from a place of unhappiness. The changes we promise ourselves are not because we love ourselves.  We make them because we don’t like how we look, or how much money we make, or the state of our health, or the life we are living.

We are demanding that we change from a place of hate, that part of us where we hate ourselves.  And that is why we fail in our resolutions.



Changing the Narrative

So instead of saying to ourselves that we need to change so we can stop hating ourselves, let’s focus on changing ourselves because we would love to be that person we daydream about being.  Truthfully, in our heads we know that our life would be complete sorrow unless we are that person we dream about being.

So what if we stopped dreaming and just became that person?

If we changed the narrative to doing this because we love ourselves enough to change our lives for the better, the results will be so much more different.  You will actually stick to your resolutions.  Your decisions will be based purely on if it will make you happy, because you know you are doing this out of love for yourself.



My Journey

This year, when I began my journey, I set very high, unrealistic goals.  I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and told myself that I am doing this for me, because I do not want to cause myself anymore sorrow.  No more hurting myself.

I realized that not working on the book, being creative or doing the things I love to do caused me sorrow.  Every single day, I chastise myself if I do nothing for this site.  I wanted to stop doing that to myself, being that person I hate…the procrastinator that gets nothing done.

Realizing just how much sorrow I brought to myself, I decided to stop being that procrastinator.  Why in the world was I choosing to hurt myself by not doing something I really wanted to do?  I should just do it!

I made out a list of all of the things I wanted to do for myself.  Then I focused on loving myself.  If I loved myself, what would it look like?  What kind of life would I have?  Who would I be?

So I made a plan.



I decided to lose 75 pounds this year…technically, 85 pounds, because when I made the bet, I already lost 10 pounds at weigh-in.  I bet $50/month ($600/yr) that I would lose this weight by year end.  If I lose the weight, I am set to gain over $2400.

I made the bet through an app called Healthy Wage and got my brother to make a bet, too.  Everyone I encounter on a daily basis knew about my bet.  I have one person checking in on my meals.  Another person checks to make sure I exercised.

I made the decision to lose the weight, because frankly it was time and I was tired of making excuses.  I found a way to lose the weight and that was going on a paleo, low carb, no sugar diet.  But it is not just a diet.  It is a lifestyle.  If I don’t want another tumor, I need to focus on my lifestyle.  I need to love myself enough to take care of my health, so that I will not be put through another cancer scare.

When I workout, I do positive affirmations.  I repeat, “I am losing weight,” over and over again.  Oddly enough, mixed with all of those happy endorphins I am generating, I notice that the weight comes off more frequently when I do this.  Those positive affirmations tie into my goals and loving myself.



Becoming Me

Losing this weight is about seeing the person I dream of being and becoming that person.  I have to love myself enough to be the person I dream of being.  Guess what?  It takes a lot of work to become the person you dream of being, because we live in an auto-pilot world, sinking into the doldrums of existence.  We have to work hard to stay out of that thinking in order to create our new reality.

We become so accustomed to doing the same thing every single day, that we have a difficult time stepping out of our daily routine.  That routine is not who we are, especially if it is bringing us so much sorrow.  We are living a life that does not reflect who we want to be.

You see, losing the weight is only part of my goals this year.  It ties into all of the other stuff.  The plan includes morning and evening meditations, morning runs, working on the novel, and working on the site (even if there isn’t a daily post).  I even have a goal to make half a million dollars outside of my day job.  This is a goal I’ve told everyone about, including my bosses.  One boss understands why I am doing it and completely supports my endeavors, because that plan includes him, too.

I made sure my goals all tied in together, because the change I seek within myself is to be the person I dream of being.  That requires a lot of change and a lot of hard work.  To live on auto-pilot is to create sorrow within myself.

I love myself enough to stop creating anymore sorrow to myself.  By not becoming the person I know I am supposed to be, I create sorrow to myself.  That needs to stop.



The Surprises of Loving Myself

When I started this journey, I planned on focusing only on me.  My friends and family all knew what I was doing, so that they could all help keep me on track.  I made sure that I kept up with the positive affirmations, journaling, and doing things that focused on keeping my mindset on loving myself, and creating no sorrow to anyone, especially to myself.

Relationships or finding love was not on my radar.  It was not even on the agenda.  But something strange happened at the very beginning.  For some time, my heart had been putting out there that what I desired the most was someone who could inspire and challenge me to be better than I am.  When you find that person, you don’t let them go.

So there he was, staring me right in the face, letting his heart do the talking.  I looked at him and realized he was in love with me.  Then I saw how the universe had been at work for some time.  I had to ask myself how I felt about all of this.  I looked at him and realized I felt the exact same way and I was not about to let him go.

It’s funny how all of this works.  Learning to love myself is something I work at every single day.  I try my hardest not to fall back into routine, because that is where I am the unhappiest.  In return, the universe keeps offering up new opportunities that coincide with my goals.

You see, when you put love out into the universe, it comes right back to you.  Every single goal you are trying to achieve, the universe lends a hand, because it wants you to succeed.  We all know who that person is that we want to be.  It takes loving yourself enough to go out there and become that person.



How to Love Yourself

  1. You already know what your daydream is.  Write it down.  Every single dream you have for yourself, write it down in a journal.
  2. Look at all of the entries you’ve made.  What can you accomplish in one year?  Create a life plan by breaking down each goal.  Want to buy a house?  What steps do you need to take to buy a house?  Break it all down and then start taking steps towards making that goal a reality.  For example, for this year, I took my goals of weight loss, healthy lifestyle, financial goals, and my career, and started mapping out what I could do in the first year, one step at a time.
  3. Make it part of your day.  Schedule the changes into your life.  For example, I am up at 4:45AM every morning.  The cats are in on it.  If I try to sleep in, one of them comes in to wake me up.  I get up, feed them, then meditate until 5:30AM.  At 5:30AM, I go for a run or do some sort of exercise.  6AM, I’m ready to write my novel.  7AM, I start getting ready for work.  On the commute, I work on social media posts and business items for the site.  After work, I focus on more business items for the site, go to events, maybe even write a post.  All in all, I am kicking out several goals all in the same day.  At the end of the day, I make sure to journal the positives for the day and write a couple of love notes.  I finish the day off with a deep meditation with God.  I start and end my day with God, because through God, all things are possible.
  4. Positive Affirmations.  I hate to exercise.  I really do.  So when I exercise, I make sure to say positive affirmations as I workout.  I find that doing positive affirmations really lifts your spirits and gets you on a ‘love yourself’ high.  I’ve also changed my narrative on my least favorite activity in the world…running.  I tell myself I am a runner.  That’s what keeps me running.  So tell yourself you are fit, beautiful, healthy, and everything you want to be.  Claim those titles as your own, because you need to see yourself as that person.  That means you need to brainwash yourself into believing you are that incredible person you daydream of being.
  5. Hustle.  Don’t ever go back to routine.  Always keep charging ahead and hustle the hell out of life.  It’s more fun that way.
  6. Self-check.  Always be conscious of not causing yourself anymore sorrow.  The moment you notice you have a bad feeling, take a step back and ask yourself why you are feeling that way.  What can you do to take that bad feeling away?  Do you get mad every single time you think about someone or an incident?  Ask yourself what you can do to stop feeling that way.  What solutions can you present to make yourself feel better?  Always self-check your negative emotions, get to the root of why you feel that way and fix it.  We have a choice in how we choose to feel.
  7. Keep at it.  Life is all about making ourselves better than we are.  We always have room to learn and to grow.  Never stop becoming the best version of yourself.  Keep working at it.
  8. Be Open to Love & Opportunities.  Sometimes what we put out there comes right back to us.  We have to be willing to let those opportunities in, especially when they are good for us.  Loving yourself also means letting people love you.  The greater the love you have for yourself, the greater the love you will have coming right back to you.  That is the kind of investment you want to make.



2018 Resolution: Love Yourself

As the new year begins, I reflect upon the person I am and the person I want to become. Am I living my best life?  How can I do things better?

Before the ball dropped in Times Square, I set to finishing one last book for the year.  I chose to read “You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life,” by Jen Sincero.  I wanted to go into 2018 kicking and screaming: THIS IS MY YEAR!

[amazon_link asins=’0762447699,0735222975′ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’us-1′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’95d43f71-f49c-11e7-a9e6-e171ce8513c4′]

One common theme throughout the book, at the end of every chapter, Sincero tells us, “Love Yourself.”  If you want to live the best life, you have to learn to love yourself enough to go out and make the things you dream of doing happen.  You have to love yourself enough to get healthy, lose weight, earn more money, work hard for your dreams, and do the scary things that will help you accomplish your goals.  There must be enough love in there for yourself to be the person you dream of being.

We can make the usual resolutions, but we will not accomplish those goals unless we love ourselves enough to see it through.

I Made a Bet to Lose 75 pounds by New Year’s Eve 2018

I made a bet with my brother that we could lose 75 pounds by the end of 2018.  He was a little reluctant to make the bet (he still is), but I went ahead and made the bet legit through the Healthy Wage app.

If I lose the 75 pounds by the end of the year, I stand to win $2,500 through the app.  That’s a nice little vacation or a new wardrobe (or both) after I reach my goal.  In other words, I would be getting paid to lose weight.  That is what that means.

[If you click through the link above and join the Healthy Wage challenge with me, they’ll add an extra $40 at the end if you meet your goal.]

Losing a lot of weight like that is not easy, especially when I know how difficult it has been for the last 20 years to drop the PTSD weight.  Or rather, was that just an excuse?

I Lost 10 Pounds in One Month

Last year, for the first time, I learned that maybe there was a way to lose the weight.  I attempted the Whole 30 diet two times.

[amazon_link asins=’0544609719,0544854411,1628600543,1328839230′ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’us-1′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’6aba96b0-f49f-11e7-80c5-754e7e89867a’]

After the first month, I dropped 10 pounds.  I learned the science behind what food was doing to my body.  All of those chemicals we put into our bodies are making us sick.  Our bodies do not know how to process the ingredients, so it gets buried away in our fat cells.

Carbs + stress = cancer.  Reading how carbs and stress cause tumors in our bodies was a huge wake up call for me.  My last tumor was in a hormonal gland.  To think it was carbs that caused it…wouldn’t you want to change your diet?  I did.

It was a harsh realization that what I was putting into my body was making me sick and stagnating the weight loss.  Hence, it was not how much I was eating.

A Little Change Can Do Some Good

I am not a big fan of sugar.  When I have my sugar cravings, I eat a little sugar and that’s it.  I prefer salty and sour.  One thing that surprised me on the Whole 30 diet was just how much sugar is in everything we eat.  It’s in everything!

Sugar loves fat cells.  It sticks to those babies and doesn’t let go.  Whole 30 takes sugar out of your diet (you can get your sugar from fruit), and forces your body to get the sugar from your fat stores.  Instead of feeding your body sugar when it signals for it (through cravings), you are forcing your body to use what it has been socking away for a rainy day.

Yes, there is a process of detox through this month away from bad foods, but during that time you start to learn…OMG, I can lose weight if I change the way I eat.  You are what you eat is a truer statement than you will ever realize.  It is more about what you put into your body, not how much you workout, that will determine how healthy you are.

For the foods you love, you can find new ways to eat.  I am a huge fan of vegetable noodles.  Last year, I upgraded to a bigger spiralizer to crank out zucchini noodles faster.

[amazon_link asins=’B00GRIR87M,B075SLJ42S,B013KAW5IQ,B00L0R9R38,B074BC9FT9,B0007Y9WHQ’ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’us-1′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’ef1aeb17-f4a1-11e7-ad0b-b3d612b3a656′]

I can’t tell you how much the spiralizer has helped me to see vegetables differently.  As a result of this great invention, I changed the way I eat noodles.  I mean…I LOVE NOODLES!!!  To switch my beloved spaghetti or rice noodles with zucchini noodles was terrifying [aka what am I going to eat now?]…until I tried it and did an OMG!  It was so much better than the regular noodles.

Switching from rice to cauliflower rice was also a positive switch.  I could not tell the difference.

These little changes in how I eat my favorite foods not only helped me to lose 10 pounds for the first time in 20 years, but it also made me feel better.

It was losing those 10 pounds that I realized that I could lose weight.  I just had to change the way I did things.

I Love Myself Enough to Change

While there is a body positive movement going on, I applaud everyone that says they love every single thing about themselves.  It takes a lot of strength to stand up and say you love yourself just the way you are.

Not all of us are that way though.  We battle our own internal demons.  Over a decade ago, I was used to being in front of the camera.  Then one day, I got behind the camera and didn’t think twice about getting back in front of the camera again.

Like most people, there are parts of my body I never want anyone to see.  I hate my mother’s legs, so guess what I got?  Genetics.

As time goes on and our bodies age, we start to think back to when we actually loved our bodies.  For me, like many others, it was in my teenage years.

I am at the weight I am now because of PTSD.  I was sexually assaulted and harassed my freshman year in college.  I thought, if I had been fat and ugly, this never would have happened to me.  So my body responded with its self defense mechanism and the weight came on and refused to come off.



As I got older, I discovered that it did not matter what I looked like.  Sexual assault does not discriminate.  It can and does happen to people, no matter what they look like on the outside.

The Inner Demons that Keep Us Down

Sometimes the demons of our past can haunt us for the rest of our lives.  We blame ourselves.  We belittle ourselves.  The horrible things the people we loved said to us echoes in the back of our mind.  We perpetuate the hurtful truths onto ourselves and put it on repeat until we believe we are that horrible person.

The person we really need to stop from making us into a victim over and over again is ourselves.  I am honestly tired of telling myself how unhappy I am with letting myself become this way.  It’s not just weight.  I am talking about the life I live, the decisions I make, the constant fear of success (so I sabotage myself).

The reason why I am this way is because of unhappiness, fear and not loving myself enough to know better.  The feelings of not being good enough to succeed are angry words I tell myself all of the time.  I am ready to turn off that sad song playing in my head.  Rather than victimize ourselves over and over again, each and every single day, we need to change our tune.



This Year’s Resolution

I made several resolutions this year regarding reading, losing weight, going on vacation (with Matthew Lucifer), finances, and making my dreams come true.  The success of those resolutions go back to one central theme.  I have to love myself enough to go out there and make those changes so that I can be happy with my life and who I am.

I am done with being too afraid to take the next step to be the person I dream of being, because I hear in the back of my head, “You will never amount to much.”  Instead, I choose to love myself enough to believe that I deserve the best life possible.  I choose to make my dreams come true by loving myself enough to go after each and every single one of them.

All it takes is believing in myself enough to take that first step.



The Love Yourself Challenge

This year, I will be sharing my journey.  On Instagram, you’ll find the daily meals, including the books I’m reading.  On the blog, I’ll be sharing recipes, tips and the journey.

I encourage all of you to join me in this journey.  Take some time and sit down to figure out what it is you want out of life.  What will make you happy?  Read “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero.  It will help you really take a look at your life and help you develop a plan to live your best life.

After you come up with a plan, how are you going to accomplish it?  Sometimes it takes a village.  So let’s do this together.  Let’s encourage each other, give helpful suggestions and do what it takes to make every single dream come true, because you love yourself enough to live the life you dream of.

[amazon_link asins=’0762447699,0735222975,1449486541′ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’us-1′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’ec09fb8a-f4be-11e7-9050-35207f233883′]



A New Year: Making and Keeping Your Resolutions in 2017

Happy New Year!  Now that 2016 is behind us, right now is a good time to reflect on the things we would like to change about ourselves and put our resolutions into motion to create a lasting change in our lives.  We should focus on the things that bring the best out of us.




Learning How to Habit Stack

I read a book recently that I believe is essential in creating successful resolutions, especially those tricky ones everyone fails at every year (i.e. diet and exercise).  That book is called Habit Stacking.   S.J. Scott offers 97 different ideas on how you can stack habits you would like to make permanent.

He shows how easily things can be done by analyzing the actual ‘habit’ we are trying to instill, creating a specific (and short) time frame with which to complete that task.  He even shares additional ideas on how to spearhead getting each job done.

[You can download this book as part of the Kindle Unlimited program for free.  Details are in the banner below.]

The way each habit is broken down, you can see how easy it is to apply those principles to your own life.  For me, I saw how I could break down a blog post so that I would be willing to write more.  The book gave me ideas on how to manage my time throughout the day to be more productive and to reward myself (check emails, play Candy Crush Soda, check social media, etc.) after completing each job.  In other words, the book teaches you how to focus on getting the task at hand done by offering a reward after the task’s completion.




In this day and age, we are always distracted by so many things around us.  It is difficult to concentrate on getting things done.  Scott helps you see how you can create positive habits in your life by showing you how he does things.

One habit I thought was spot on for those who put diet/exercise as their resolution is to do one thing at a time.  Don’t start off big (like trying to run a mile in the first week when you haven’t worked out in 5 years).  Start off small.  Do one push-up.  The next day, do two push-ups.  Each day, add one more.

Run one block.  Go back home.  The next day, run a block and a half or two blocks.  Or if that progression is too much for you, do one block a week, adding another block each sequential week.

The whole purpose of starting off small is to create a lasting habit.  It is easier to give up in the beginning because it seems too difficult when we are trying to make up for lost time on the treadmill after going through the great exercise famine.  If you start off small and see how easy it is, you are more likely to create a lasting habit each day/week.  You’ll feel more motivated to do more and maybe add an extra 5 push-ups at the end of your workout.

The whole purpose of breaking down each resolution to its bare minimum is so you can see just how easy the task is to complete.  The easier the task looks, the more likely you are willing to create a lasting habit to make your resolutions a success.

I highly recommend reading the book.  It will give you many ideas on how you can break down each of your resolutions so you can accomplish each and every single one.




PW Resolutions

I probably make this resolution every year for the site, but I definitely need to write more.  I had to sit back and try to figure out what I really want this site to be about.  I had to think of my niche audience.  Truth of the matter is my niche audience is the film industry and lovers of books, especially those looking for book club questions.

I plan on expanding on that more with more interviews from filmmakers and authors.  I will be sharing my 52+ books journey for 2017.  So far, I’m on book #2.  I will couple the journey with book reviews, book club questions (since that seems to be a popular search item on this site), and author interviews (if possible).




I’ll be sharing more tips that I uncover (like saving money, all natural beauty remedies, etc.) and ways to make your life easier.  There will be recipes, travel and fashion posts.  I’ll even share my own resolution journey.

This year, my main resolution is to complete my novel.  It is time to put all of the finishing touches to it.  As of now, it is a 3-book series.

I meet with publishers in May and June, but on a different manner (which basically determines all of the “IT” books for 2017-18).  I’ve established good relationships with a few major publishing houses, so we’ll see how things go and which route I will take.

Over the course of this year, I will be launching a few campaigns.  I’ll leave that as a surprise.

All in all, I have a lot of plans for PW, as well as for my writing career.  I’m thankful I read Scott’s book last month.  He’s helped me figure out how to get everything I want to do done from here on out.

Give the book a read, I think it will definitely help everyone re-define how they can accomplish their own goals.  Dreams are always difficult to accomplish, especially if it seems too hard.

Break down each of your goals so that you can figure out all of the different tasks you need to complete.  After you’ve broken them down, work on each task in order.  You’ll find that it may be hard at first, but if you keep at it, finish each task, reward yourself, then start on the next task…pretty soon you’ll find you have reached your goal.


Disclosure: I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, and/or link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work.

The Resolutions 2016

Resolutions 2016

Resolutions.

We all make them.  Some try to say they tossed their resolutions out before the ball even dropped.  Then there are those who realize that they need a change.  Very few stick to those resolutions just a day into the new year.  Others go two to three weeks into the new year.  Some see it through for the first three months and then give up.  Then there are those who truly stick to their resolutions because they wanted to see it through until the end.

Over these last couple of years, I’ve tried to make resolutions, but because I was a little stuck in life, I just didn’t care about those resolutions because I wasn’t quite sure what it was about me that I wanted to change.

For those who don’t know, I was faced with my own mortality back in 2013 when I was told I had a tumor in my parathyroid gland (the gland that synthesizes calcium).  The gland and the tumor had to come out.  I was told to prepare for the worst.  The worst was death.  I found out in August 2013.  On October 22, 2013, I went under the knife and woke up a very different person.

I’ve been pushing myself since then to try to get back to some sort of normalcy.  But it just wouldn’t come.  That normalcy is about finding out who you are now that everything in your universe has changed.  This is normal for people who have had a major surgery or are faced with their own mortality (like a heart attack, an accident, cancer, etc.).  Your life before that moment means nothing to you.  It’s who you are after the surgery or life threatening moment that you are trying to define.  Just who are you now and what do you want out of life?

Since the surgery, I’ve had friends so absorbed in their own worlds that the second they can stop and ask what is going on they are shocked to discover just how much I’ve been struggling since the surgery and what I’ve been doing to get back to being normal again.  I can tell you one thing…it has not been easy.

But this year, I feel like it is time to evolve into the person I am trying to become, and in some cases, get back to.

This past year, I’ve been sharing a few of the things I’ve been doing on Instagram and Twitter.  It’s a way to take a glimpse at the path I’m ultimately following.  I’ve found that when you are on the right path, everything works out more magically for you than you can ever imagine.  I’ve made a lot of new friends this past year and have met and spoken to a lot of incredible people this past year.  When I got the invitation to Martha Stewart’s conference, I was shocked.

That was synchronicity. It was the defining moment of 2015 that helped me understand what I was going to do with my life.  What direction my life was heading was all laid before me in that conference.  It was like I could finally connect the dots stretching across the universe before me to create a new destiny.  In other words, I finally saw the person I was to become.

When people ask me what my resolution this year is, I say it’s to work on my Type-A personality.  People laugh like that’s absolutely crazy.  Who wants to work on being Type-A?  Well, I’ve been lingering between Type-A and B and I’m kind of sick and tired of being stuck in the middle there, gravitating between getting shit done and being too lazy to do it.

My friend said to me after Thanksgiving that she had read that the way you can tell if a person is Type-A or Type-B all falls under when they put their Christmas tree up.  Type-A’s have the tree up no later than the day after Thanksgiving.  Type-B’s procrastinate.  They get their trees up no later than Christmas Eve.  My tree was up the day after Thanksgiving.  Waiting until Christmas Eve would have driven me crazy since there’s so much to do between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Now, I’m going nuts because the tree is still up and it’s January 2.  No worries…it’s coming down at some point today.  I only kept it up until now because Matthew Lucifer’s birthday was yesterday and he loves hiding out under the tree.

Getting back to being Type-A, it falls under being a Perfectionist Wannabe.  Martha Stewart is the epitome of the Perfectionist.  After all, when it comes to home stuff, don’t we ask, “What would Martha do?”  One thing I learned at the conference is that we all need to be just as good as Martha, so that one day people will say, “What would ______ do?”

So this year, at the top of my list is to work on being a Type-A for one simple reason…because focusing on being that Type-A is what drives the motivation behind doing all of the things I want to do in life.  I’m tired of dreaming or just trying to figure out what I want to do.  Being a Type-A motivates me to stop thinking about it and just do it already.  Meandering between Type-A and Type-B to me means thinking about it, thinking about doing it, and then coming up with a lot of reasons on why I can’t do it.  When you do that, you find you start to suffer.

So I’m going to take you through each resolution one at a time.

 

FOCUS ON BEING THE TYPE-A PERSONALITY.

{Explained above.}

 

KON MARI (DECLUTTER) THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE IN ALL ASPECTS: HOME, MIND, BODY, FINANCES, AND LIFE.

Over the next five months, I’ll be sharing how I’m decluttering the various aspects of my life. The reason why I chose to make this a major resolution is because I found that I was buried under so much stuff that each weekend when I told myself I was going to write, I’d find myself spending the entire weekend cleaning and taking care of stuff around the house.  I never got around to doing the things I wanted to do to advance my life because I was too busy taking care of the shit I already had in my life.  In November, I learned about the Japanese art of decluttering and started to apply it to my life.  I feel so much better now that I’ve started to create the right kind of change in my life.  I’m getting rid of things so I don’t have to take care of them anymore.  The less tidying I have to do, the more time I have to do the things I really want to be doing with my life.

I learned over these last couple of months that decluttering doesn’t just happen with your things, but it should also happen with the things you keep in your heart and your mind.  It should happen with your finances.  You have to clean house in every single aspect.

One thing I didn’t expect out of this were the emotions that come out of nowhere.  They’re emotions you never knew you had.  It can be pretty ugly to face, but it gets to the root of the problem with why you stockpile so many things around you…why you shop so much…why you do X, Y and Z until you are drowning in it.  When you face it, it will help you move forward to living with only the things you need in order to be happy.

PRACTICE YOGA REGULARLY.

This year will mark my 40th year of life.  One of the goals I’ve had for myself since I was in my early 20s was to have a yogalicious body.  Well, that Type-B in me has procrastinated until now.  So this is the year I want to finally make that change a permanent change.

DEVELOP CONTENT DAILY FOR PERFECTIONIST WANNABE.  WORK HARD AT MAKING THE SITE SUCCESSFUL.  

One thing I’ve discovered over these last few months is that the thing I wanted to do most was create more content and make this site successful.  But being bogged down with so many other things (like stuff) made me realize it’s time to be that Type-A, declutter the stuff that doesn’t bring me joy, and really bust my ass to do the things I want to do for this site.

Two days in a row of posting in 2016.  You can say I’m off to a good start.

I’ve been promoting my work, researching and putting things together to make sure I turn this site in the direction I want it to go into.

READ 52+ BOOKS THIS YEAR. 12 OF WHICH NEED TO BE A CLASSIC (1 CLASSIC A MONTH).

This is a resolution I make every year.  These last two years, it’s fallen to the wayside.  I decided to really to get things moving this year, especially since I’ve been talking to publishers these last six months.

These past few days, I’ve been following a lot of Instagram accounts for people who love books.  I’ve followed a January Instagram challenge.  I’ve sorted through and picked the books I want to read and review this month.  Photographed it.  Posted it.  More importantly, I’ve spent plenty of time reading, so I know I’ll cross one book off my ‘to be read’ list later today.  That’s one book down by the second day in 2016.  That is huge progress, especially since that’s a book I was supposed to review months ago.

52 books may seem like a lot, but I hope to read over 100.  There were a few Instagram accounts I followed that read over 100 books in 2015!  If they can make it possible, I know I can at least attempt to read over 52 books this year.  I’d feel like I accomplished something HUGE!

I do listen to audio books at the office and while I’m commuting or walking.  I’ve cracked out a few books this past year that way.  Now that I feel passionate about reading again and have started following a community with that same passion, I believe this is definitely a resolution that will be completed by the end of 2016.

[NOTE: If you have a resolution you need help with, follow inspiring accounts on Instagram of people with that same goal in mind.  A lot of times seeing something visually beautiful and stimulating, sharing your progress and joining challenges will help inspire you to complete your goal.]

GO ON A SPENDING DIET (SEE #2).  HAVE FEWER, BUT BETTER THINGS.

I carry a piece of paper in my wallet that says “Have Fewer, But Better Things.”  At first, figuring out what ‘better things’ was netted me a lot of stuff just to pare it down to figure out what was ‘better.’  In the process, I discovered what I truly loved.  I  kept only the things I knew would last for a very, very long time.  These were the things that I enjoyed.  In the process, I started to find my own sense of style.  No more are the things that don’t fit, pinch a little, or I don’t feel absolutely amazing in.  They were donated or sold.

I also have a large entertainment collection consisting of videos and books.  I learned new ways to pare those things down, and go digital.  That meant getting with the times and investing in new technology that would allow me to simplify my life, organize everything, and help me to get rid of things that would only require maintenance and space in my home.  The goal is essentially to have fewer, but better things.

That means…for the next 6 months, while I am saving for another resolution, I’ll be focused on a spending diet so I don’t accumulate while I’m trying to declutter and get things under control.  The focus is fewer, but better things.  I already have the better things, I just need to pare all the other stuff out just to make sure that’s all I have.  I don’t want to add to it anymore.

PHOTOGRAPH MORE.  RELEASE THE WORKS FROM PREVIOUS YEARS (like the Pete Yorn photo collection like the photo that appears above).

So when I met Pete Yorn after one of his concerts in NYC, I mentioned I was a photographer, because I had been photographing him all night in front of the stage.  He asked me where my studio was (I had a good laugh).

I promised him a couple of years ago I’d release my photo collection of him from that night.  Yeah.  It’s been two years.  That Type-A in me from here on out will be getting that collection, as well as all of the others, out this year.  After all, there are some photos out there that is available for sale through stock photography already.  I just have to work on a few more of my relationships with a few other stock photography companies this year.  Trust me, it’s on my TO DO list.

The stuff like this Pete Yorn photo are treated a little differently.  When the collection is released, it’s not available for stock photography.  It will be available in more of the art photography form.  A little pricier than licensing to publish a photo.  His photos are part of the Rockstar collection.  I would like to continue the Rockstar collection this year.  We’ll see who I add to the collection…

FINISH THE NOVEL.  NO EXCUSES.

No more procrastinating.  Just finish it.

LIVE EACH DAY FULLY.  WORK HARD.  PLAY HARD.  ENJOY IT ALL, EVEN THE TOUGH STUFF.

WRITE, WRITE AND WRITE.  THEN WRITE SOME MORE BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO WRITE.

TRY TO EAT MORE FRUITS/VEGETABLES WITH EACH MEAL.  SNEAK IT IN SOMEHOW.

Since the surgery in 2013, I gravitate between being a foodie and a kiddie.  That first year, you couldn’t ask me to get beyond eating what you’d feed your 5 year old child.  Grilled cheese.  Chicken nuggets.  Tater tots.  Spaghetti with meat sauce.  You know, the simple stuff.

I couldn’t enjoy the finer things that first year after the surgery.  Now, I either have a foodie moment, or I eat kid food.  There’s no in between.  When people say they’re on a diet, I look at them like…what’s that?

I don’t eat a lot of food.  I only eat as much as my body is interested in eating (which isn’t much).  What I would like to do is in that little amount of food I consume, that my veggies be more than ketchup with my chicken nuggets.  I would like to enjoy fruits and vegetables again.  This is a 2 year struggle post-op.  I’m hoping this is the year I get beyond the protein and carbs and can really add in fruits/vegetables on a regular basis.

MAKE MORE FRIENDS AND CONTACTS.  GET TO KNOW YOUR FOLLOWERS.

Over the years, I have tried not to get close to people.  I’ve tried to make sure there was that barrier.  You can say there were a few too many stalkers and weirdos in my past that contributed to that decision.

Over these last couple of years, I’ve learned that I can handle the crazies and the fans that call me all the time, text me, message me to the point of…ok…you’re being a little awkward and weird.  I can handle it now.

Why punish everyone because there are a few people that get a little nutso?  There are a lot of great people out there.  I’ve made some great friends over this last year in the various industry events I’ve attended.  I’ve been learning to start being friendlier to complete strangers on social media, and not so guarded.  Kindness gets you so much farther in the world these days.  Besides, being kind and just talking to people (including the homeless) has made me really see life in a whole new perspective.  It’s helped me to finally see humanity in everyone…including the forgotten and ignored.

FIND A SITTER FOR MATTHEW SO YOU CAN GO ON VACATION THIS YEAR.

So the main reason why I have not been able to travel in these last two years was because I was under a medical travel restriction the first year post-op.  After that, I adopted Matthew Lucifer.  He’s my sweet, adorable, can turn into Lucifer himself, Maine Coon cat.  He’s not a normal cat.  He is HIGH MAINTENANCE.

I can leave the other cat home for a week…no problem.  Matthew…I can’t leave alone for one night.  Both cats would be dehydrated if I left them alone a whole day, because Matthew plays with water.  He dumps out his water bowl so he can play in the water.  I have not been able to kick him of this habit.  He literally picks the heavy container up using his entire body weight to dump out the contents.  I fill his water bowl 3 times every morning.  Usually, there’s no water in the bowl when I get home.

Matthew is like a 4-year old child (he turned 4 yesterday).  You can’t leave him alone unattended for too long.  He is very social, but he’s not good with sleepovers because he is known to bite and keep people up all night long.  I had mom brain the whole first year I had him.  He’s been sleeping from 8PM-5:30AM for only 3 months now.  He wakes at 5:30AM, wakes mom up, and doesn’t stop until 6AM when it’s time for breakfast.  If you don’t rise to feed him at 6AM, plan on dealing with Lucifer until you get out of bed.  Full on cat attack while you’re trying to sleep.  Every morning it is like this.

If only I could find him a sitter so I can go to South America…I could really begin to travel again.

BUY YOUR NEW HOME BY THE END OF THE YEAR.

I’ve been tossing between buying/building for the last two years.  This is the year I’ll make that decision.  I am tired of living where I’m living now, being bothered by other people. I just want a place all my own without crazy landlords calling me up about apartments that have nothing to do with me.  Like I care the person next to me is moving out.  Why are you telling me to list their apartment?  It has nothing to do with me.  [Yes, this did happen just last month.]

HIT ALL MONTHLY FINANCIAL GOALS YOU’VE SET FOR YOURSELF. HUSTLE.

If you want to reach your own financial goals, you have to buckle down and get serious about it.  If I want to build my dream house, it requires the right funds.  If I want this site to do what I want it to do, I have to hustle.  If I want my own personal success and dreams to come true, I have to hustle.  The goal this year is to make sure all of those goals are met, especially financially.  It is not cheap to do the things I do.  There is a lot of money vested into the success of this site.  Between events, appearances, the correct wardrobe to go with it, conferences, etc. it costs a lot to go and do these things.

I have a certain audience and they are my peers.  Who are my peers?  The same people who understand that if you want a dream to come true, it takes a lot of your own capital.  You have to really invest in that life in order to make yourself successful.  If you want to be a millionaire, you have to surround yourself with millionaires.  You want to be an artist, you have to surround yourself with other artists.  You want to be a writer, you have to surround yourself with people in the industry.

When you have money and invest in putting yourself among those people that are the influencers and will inspire you to make your dream happen, it’s easier.  Most people think that success comes from luck, busting your ass, etc.  I’ll let you in on a secret…it is a whole lot easier when you have the money that can put you in the same audience as those people you admire and strive to be like.

What I plan to do over the course of this next year requires some serious hustle in order for this site (and my life) to turn into what I envision it to be.

All of the previous resolutions, especially the Type-A resolution, is what will fuel me in making sure that the ultimate goal for 2016 for this site comes to fruition.

…..

So over this year, I’ll be sharing this Type-A hustle journey with you.  There are so many aspects to it, especially with the decluttering over these next 5 months.

If you love to read books, follow my Instagram: diaryofaperfectionistwannabe.  I’ll be joining a lot of the reading challenges and discussing books there, since there is a pretty huge community there discussing it.  I’ll also look for other avenues to discuss books/movies, etc. with everyone if I see there’s an interest.

At any rate, I look forward to talking to everybody.  Feel free to share your resolutions or thoughts below.  Is there anything you’d like to see from the site this year?  Just let me know.  I already have one request in re: Justin Bieber…

Young fans…

Mission 40

santorini14September begins a new season for me and this is what I have planned for the site.

Why is September the start of a new season?  

Well, consider it a little like going back to school.  Each new school year is the start of a whole new you.  That’s what I always loved about the fall.  Autumn marked the start of a renewal and a chance to do things differently…actually, better than you did them before.

It means new clothes, new books, new activities, new learning experiences, and a whole new workload.  September marks Fashion Week.  For me, it also marks the start of my hockey season when I go back to covering hockey for Inside Hockey.  The hockey season starts on September 17th for me.  I’ll still have plenty of film screenings and premieres to attend, as well as a few film festivals.  The Metropolitan Opera season also begins for me and I’m starting it off with Turnadot.

September also marks the release of many new books from various publishers.  We’ll be sharing what’s new, as well as have a few special interviews with authors.

Mission 40

I’ve been tinkering with the idea of sharing the new journey I’m on.  I’ve kept it under wraps these last couple of months because I’ve been trying to add some structure and thought into what exactly I wanted to do.  Next year, I turn 40.  With that, I have always had a specific goal in mind for myself of who I wanted to be at 40.

I’ll admit that I’ve laid that goal to the wayside for so many years because I’m a bit of a procrastinator.  I kept thinking, “Oh, next year…I have plenty of time.”  Well, I can’t say that anymore because next year is 40.  Now is the time to get my butt in gear.  I have to start being that person I envisioned myself to be at this age and that’s where Mission 40 comes in.  Mission 40 is a challenge I’ve created for myself to push myself into being the person I’ve always dreamed I would be at this age.

What does Mission 40 entail?  

The number one thing on this list is my overall health.  After dealing with four tumors in this last decade, it’s time to start improving my overall well-being.  Maybe instead of four tumors in this next decade it will be one, or maybe I’ll get lucky and not have another tumor again for the next 30-50 years.  I have the cancer gene, so it is inevitable that I will get another tumor or cancer in some form at some point in my lifetime again.

The goals I am setting with my overall health entail:

  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Brain Health (i.e. increasing knowledge through learning and brain challenges)
  • Soul Health (i.e. Meditation)
  • Beauty (hair, nails, etc.)
  • Less Stress
  • Overall Happiness
  • Getting more sleep

There are also certain personal goals I’ve set for myself careerwise that I am putting into action as the new season begins.  There are certain bucket list items I’d like to check off, too.  There are so many things I’d like to do over this next year in order to increase my overall happiness in life.  A lot of that has to do with becoming more involved.

I’ve also started working more within the community, working on issues that we face in order to make the community better through service.  I’ve also been getting more involved globally on how to evolve humanity by working towards eliminating many of the problems people face like poverty, war, slavery, and inequality.  It’s time humanity evolved and I’m working to put that into action.

I’ll have a special section set up so that you can follow along with what I’m doing on a day to day basis…a journal, so to speak.

My ultimate goal is to reward myself with a special trip to South America next year to see Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands.  If I can get over my fear of snakes…maybe I’ll take a little trip into the Amazon as well.  All in all, this is the adventure I’m planning for…a little 40th birthday present to myself…a South American adventure.  Before I can do any of that, I want to be in a certain place in my life before I reap the rewards.

For those interested in joining me on my Mission, I’ll explain how you can become more involved with the adventure I’m on so you can construct your own Mission for yourself.