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Editor’s Letter January 2024: Goals and Resolutions

Happy New Year! 

I took the first week of the year off to recuperate from the final stretch of 2023.  It was nine glorious days of forcing myself to do absolutely nothing. But nine days ended up not being a lot of time to recuperate from 2023.

At the end of the year and during my time off, I started building my list of goals and resolutions I wanted to begin in 2024.  I came up with one singular theme: HEAL YOURSELF.

This year, I’ll be sharing my journey on what I am doing to heal myself.  But perhaps, I need to explain what that means.  As we grow older, our body changes.  For women, we start to suffer from perimenopause.  Perimenopause can last from a few years to well over a decade.  For those who have a history of cancer or have had surgery, that means the symptoms for perimenopause are heightened.  I fall into that category, especially since it was removing a hormonal gland (due to a tumor) that kickstarted perimenopause when I was 38.  Almost 10 years ago.

I knew I was suffering from perimenopause in that first year because a polar vortex hit me, and I was stripping my coat off because I was burning up.  That’s not how weather works in the coldest January that NYC had seen in a while.

As the years progressed, the symptoms grew worse from night sweats to headaches to every part of my body being in a constant state of pain.  2020 didn’t make things any better.  I lost muscle mass rapidly.  Spending these last two years doing 10k+ steps 5 days a week with no change meant that I needed to change things up.

Diet and exercise.  That is the key to beginning to fix all of these problems.  Many people would become angry the second a doctor would suggest this (and trust me, I did, too).  But as you grow older, you kind of have no choice.  You’re not as young as you used to be.  You can physically see and feel how putting off exercise and a healthy lifestyle causes you harm.  BUT what they don’t tell you is that you need to focus on healing your hormonal issues. 

What they don’t tell you is that cardio will not work.  You need to focus only on walking, weight training, resistance training, and stretching (i.e. yoga).  Your diet needs to be plant based.  You need to drink more water.  You need to focus on certain vitamins.  Stop using hormone disrupter beauty products.  The list goes on with everything you need to change.

But there’s also your mental health.  I discovered that hormonal imbalances can trigger anxiety.  Trust me when I say I never had anxiety problems until a year ago. Like I said, perimenopause does something insane with your body, and it happens overnight.

So this year, my focus is on healing this body and correcting all of the hormonal imbalances.  I would like to be pain free, have my hair grow back, stop hormonal based cancers from occurring, and just get to healthy and focus on living a healthy last half of my life.

Speaking of the last half of my life, healing myself this year also means changing how I approach how I treat myself, especially when it comes to finances. Two months ago, I decided to fix how I approached finances because I was not happy with how things were going. I WORRIED. So 2024 is about making sure to heal that worry. It is incredible how quickly your finances change when you decide to make yourself the priority and not everyone else.

Another quest in my journey to heal myself is to do the things I have been putting off doing and then hating myself for not doing it. SIGH. The life of a writer. I may not be writing here as much because I’ve been working on two novels (at the same time). Sometimes it takes a writer 8-10 years to write a book. Most of the time, it’s the inner dialogue we are having with ourselves as we embrace our fears, instead of just creating what we know is already in our heads. This year, I am forcing myself to finish the books and create an ongoing writing system, so that I am always writing and publishing my work.

I started pitching my work and it’s funny how the publisher that you know in your gut is going to publish your work starts doing their due diligence.

When I took a class at Conde Nast College in London, one of the things the editor of Allure magazine kept telling me was my strong points were my writing and my photography. That led to a class with Nigel Barker and I started doing some fashion photography, as well as street fashion photography. Of course, when life keeps happening, you stop doing those things because you don’t have the time. Imagine just 12 days into 2024 and I’m being asked to do PAID corporate photo jobs. My friend, Grace, told me that maybe it’s time to get things together. Make this a side gig.

Which leads me to the last topic of resolutions and goals. I’m getting older. I know that maybe it’s just going to be me and Matthew (the Maine Coon) from here on out. I need to start thinking seriously about the last half of my life. I have to come up with a plan to make sure money is always coming in if I can’t work anymore. I have to think about how we’re going to live if I get sick and can’t work. I have to create a plan that will take care of us for the rest of our lives.

It’s funny how when you start prioritizing setting up your finances, creating financial goals, and working on generating passive income (in other words, focusing on paying yourself first and preparing for your future), the universe starts helping you. Two months ago, I was worried about how I was going to pay bills. Then I created a plan to get myself out of the worry. I didn’t care who was asking for money. Any money that came in, I paid myself 10% right off the bat. That is what I earned for myself. That belonged to ME. No one was allowed to have it, except ME. Then, all of a sudden, the universe started sending more money my way. In two months, I came up with 1/3 of my 2024 goal, and 11% of the long-term goal. IN TWO MONTHS. Oh, and I stopped worrying.

At one point, I got a call from Bank of America. There are certain banks that will help you reach your financial goals. While I was on the call, she gave me some financial advice and as soon as I got off the phone, I put her advice to work. It’s like I had an “Aha!” moment. She helped me figure out how to navigate the worst of the pickle I had found myself in, and put myself in a place where I didn’t have to worry anymore. Then the universe followed suit.

Grace told me at some point in our lives when Saturn Returns, everything you didn’t fix in life will become much harder to fix, unless you make sacrifices to ensure you’ve learned your lessons and you actively fix your mistakes. You have 20 years to fix it or things will get worse for you. That is why it is important to fix things that are hurting you in your life. Even the universe gets involved with making things better or worse. But I will tell you something, when you are doing the right thing, the universe helps you continue to do the right thing. If you’re doing the wrong thing, the universe will continue to help you do the wrong thing. See how that works?

So in 2024, you’ll be seeing a change in me. No more procrastinating. Just doing. The only way I can heal myself is to get up off my lazy butt and do something about it. Hopefully, you’ll find what I’m sharing on this journey will help you along the way.

XOXO,
Michelle

How to Accomplish Your Goals

How to accomplish your goalsWe always struggle to stick to a goal we set for ourselves.  We say we want to lose weight.  We are gung ho about it for a few weeks (if we can make it that far) and then we quit.  Maybe we want to save money, but end up going on a spending spree instead and spend all the money we saved.  Or maybe we want to take classes, but end up quitting after a few weeks.

We’ve all been there.  We try, but often give up before we’ve truly started.  We give it our all at the beginning, but then lose steam and all interest shortly thereafter.  We don’t like the discomfort, pain and changes that come along with trying to accomplish our goals.  It’s so much easier to just give up and go back to our old ways, saying we’ll try again later.  It’s easier to say “Yes!” to the doughnut, instead of focusing on our healthy lifestyle.

What if you discovered the secret to accomplishing all of the goals you set for yourself?  Would you try again?  Maybe set higher and better goals for yourself?

The trick to accomplishing your goals all lie in changing your beliefs by creating new beliefs.

Polly Campbell writes in “Detoxify Your Thoughts,”

Beliefs are simply thoughts or ideas repeated over and over until they become tethered to every aspect of our lives. We take them as truth — even though they are merely illusions. We act from them. And, as a result, they are reflected back into our lives as tangible results. Empowering beliefs can support us en route to our greatest potential. However, often we are saddled with limiting beliefs that narrow our possibilities and keep us from the things we most desire.

She goes on to discuss how we can recognize beliefs that sabotage our goals, and silence them by creating new, positive beliefs to help us accomplish our goals.  It is an article worth reading in understanding the process of stopping the sabotage right from the start and trying to overcome it by creating new and positive thoughts that will help you accomplish your goals.

Create Daily Visualization

I create new goals for myself all of the time.  The current goals I’m working on in an attempt to make them a lifelong habit is to exercise more, meditate two times a day, complete 100 chores a day, eat healthier, read more and write more. With each goal, I know that I have to make small, but definitive changes each day where I can see I have made actual progress.


Having a monthly/weekly calendar to keep track of the progress of my goals has been the most important tool I have in my arsenal.  By visually keeping track of each accomplishment, it gives me more power and incentive to keep going.

I use THIS calendar as my every day calendar.  It is unique because at the beginning of the planner, you can list all of your goals, including a time frame you’d like to accomplish each goal.  The calendar is designed by Whitney English of Day Designers.  It has by far been the best calendar I have used to date.  You can download FREE printables from Day Designers to get yourself started.  What’s great about Day Designers is that you can customize your own calendar according to your lifestyle or needs.  What I also love about Whitney English’s Day Designers is that she teaches you how to best use your calendar by offering you guidance on how to calendar and focus on getting the things done you want to get done.  Her calendars are one of the best calendars for perfectionists, Type-A’s, and people who have goals and need a structured way to accomplish their goals.  She helps you think outside the box and gives you the tools to focus on how to get through your day and accomplish the goals you have set for yourself.

Day Designers has been working in collaboration with Blue Sky (soon her calendars will be in Target).  So if she’s sold out on her site, check Blue Sky for additional products.

Don’t Be Discouraged

One resolution I have this year is to read more than 52 books (12 classics) by December 31, 2016.  I started off fantastically.  But this past month, I read only two books.  Visually seeing that setback could be discouraging.  I could do like I did in the past and stop reading for the next few months, telling myself this is something I can’t do.  It’s just a crazy feat I will not be able to accomplish.  In other words, I could completely sabotage myself.

It’s something we all do because it’s so much simpler to not challenge ourselves to be better.  It’s easier to just curl up and flip through Instagram photos, or play Farm Heroes, or read tweets on Twitter.  Why read when you can do something else, right?  We can always do mindless things that do not challenge ourselves to be better.

It’s easier to indulge in our cravings and reach for that doughnut when you’re on a diet, or buy that new handbag when you’re trying to save for a house, or sleep in when it’s raining outside and you are supposed to go workout.  After all, we live in an age of instant gratification.  Why work hard to be something we’re not, when it’s so hard or too much work is involved?  It’s just easier to give into our cravings then it is to resist them.

That’s because the things that are going to be amazing for us takes a lot of work.  We appreciate it more when we have to work hard for it.  We will never appreciate the things that come to us easily.

A calendar is a great way to reflect on how you are accomplishing your goals.  Even if you only complete two items that month towards that goal, or you suffer a bit of a setback…don’t look at it as a setback.  Look at it as part of the challenge.  Reflect at the end of the month how you can work with that ‘setback’ to get yourself back on track to accomplishing your goal.

For example, say you saved up $5,000 for a down payment on your dream home, and then your car breaks down.  All of that money has to go towards the repairs on the car.  You are dismayed because you have to start saving all over again.  Don’t give up!  Just keep doing what you were doing.  You got to $5k and that was an accomplishment.  It also means you can do it again.  Keep going.  Maybe even look for more creative ways to make that money a little faster than you did the first time around.  Find fun ways to make that money.  Pretty soon you’ll find twice that in your savings account.  What you thought was a setback ended up being just a small snafoo.

One thing I always like to remind people is that even millionaires and billionaires can lose their entire fortune.  They can end up far more broke than the homeless guy on the street.  They pick themselves up and in no time, they have those millions/billions of dollars back in no time.  How?  Because they had the tools of knowledge on how to make that kind of money.  All they had to do is keep doing what they were doing before.  Soon they have even more money than they did before.  That minor setback was only a learning experience.  It wasn’t forever.


That setback taught them how to be better at business so that they could make even more money than they ever did before.  They learned from their mistakes and went in a new direction.

The Steps

Accomplishing your goals are simpler than you think it is.  You just have to be willing to do the work.  It first starts by changing your beliefs.

    1.  Get a monthly/weekly calendar.  Write down all of your goals for the year.  It could be getting out of debt, saving more money, paying off your mortgage or student loans, eating healthier, exercising more, learning a new language…whatever you dream of being, put down all of your goals that will lead you to your ultimate goal of the person you envision yourself as being.For me, each time I finish a book, I put a sticker in my monthly calendar, marking completion of a book.  I write down the number of the book, so I know how many books I’ve read so far that year.  I then put another sticker in the weekly section and write down the name of the book and the author.  Being able to visually see what books I read gives me a clearer reflection of what I read over the past year.  It also helps me remember what I read!
    2. Stay positive.  In the previous example, even though you suffer a little setback and feel like you have to start all over again, you shouldn’t be discouraged.  You were able to save $5k.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  You were able to create success in attaining your goal.  You were also given the tools on how to save up that money.  You can use those tools to raise that money again.By remaining positive and staying focused on your goal, you can keep pushing forward.  Campbell says “with practice and commitment you can trade out the bad beliefs for better ones.”  So instead of thinking you failed, think of how you were lucky that you had that $5k saved up.  If you hadn’t had that money saved up when the car broke down, you would have been screwed.Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positives of the situation.  With that new understanding, you can charge forward with your goal.  But while you’re charging forward with your goal, think of how you can improve on this situation.  Is there a way you can make the money faster than you did before?  Can you start making money off of a hobby you have?  Can you make money off of the items you don’t need anymore?  Can you work a part-time job?  Brainstorm how you can help reach your goal faster after this small setback.  You’ll have the $5k plus more in no time.

      Just remain positive.

    3. Take pride in every little accomplishment.  Losing weight doesn’t happen overnight.  Books don’t read themselves.  That mile isn’t going to run itself.The purpose of the calendar is so that you can see that you are actually accomplishing your goal one step at a time.  Each day, I count how many chores I do.  My goal is to do 100 chores a day.  I wake up and start doing chores, counting them in my head, no matter how sleepy I am.  I write the number down on the chalkboard and move on with my day.  When I get home at the end of the day, I finish up my 100 chores and then I sit down and relax.You may think it’s nuts doing 100 chores a day, but it’s actually quite simple.  Each dish I wash counts as one chore.  Each piece of mail I go through counts as one chore a piece.  That makes getting through those 100 chores so much easier.  I oftentimes have to make myself stop at 100 so I can have something to do the next day.  I do it this way because knowing I accomplished a daily goal makes me happy.  It tells me that I can do anything I set my mind to, because I accomplished a goal for the day.

      If I didn’t have those 100 chores a day, I would save the chores for the weekend and end up not being able to relax and enjoy my weekends.  In a way, I would be sabotaging myself from all of the other things I want to do…like write more.

      My daily goal of 100 chores a day spills over into wanting to accomplish other goals.  Those 100 chores forces me to get up at 5:30AM to meditate, workout and write.  It encourages me to create healthier recipes and to eat healthier.  It allows me to create time for doing the things I want to do with my life, because I’ve created a new belief system.  I can visually see that I can accomplish a daily goal.  That good feeling of knowing I’ve accomplished a goal I’ve set for myself, tells me I can accomplish all of my goals.

    4. If you make it part of your belief system, you’ll find time.  One of the biggest excuse people come up with is not having time to do what they want to do.  They don’t want to make time to do it.  They are not a morning person, so they don’t want to wake up to workout.  Eating healthy is too expensive.  They don’t have time to read.  They’re already strapped for cash, so how can they save money?Simply put, if you make your goal a part of your belief system, you’ll accomplish your goals.  I don’t like waking up before the sun rises, but I do.  I have a Maine Coon cat that wakes up at 4AM every morning.  He tries to wake everyone up at that time and doesn’t stop until he’s fed at 5:30AM.   After he’s fed, maybe he’ll let you sleep until 7AM.After two years of this, I find I wake up a few minutes before he does.  That’s when I was able to find time to meditate in the morning.  At 5:30AM, the cats are fed and I start yoga or tai chi.  After yoga, I sit down with a cup of coffee and write or do research.  At 7AM, I begin my day.  As I go along in my morning routine, I do chores here and there.  On the commute in, I read.  At the office, when I find I’m going to be at my computer for an extended amount of time, I listen to an audio book, mainly classics (like now, I’m listening to Jules Verne’s “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”).  On the commute home, I read.  When I get home, I finish up the 100 chores for the day before sitting down to relax.  By the time I’m in bed, I do some more reading, waiting for both cats to fall asleep so that I can do one last meditation before I go to sleep.

      I’ve learned that through meditation, I don’t have to sleep as much.  Five to six hours of sleep are all I need.  I’ve learned to sleep when Matthew Lucifer (the Maine Coon) sleeps.  It’s quite similar to new parents learning when to sleep when their children sleep.  They learn to get their few minutes of ‘me’ time in here and there.

      The thing is no matter what your circumstances are, you can create time to accomplish your goals by making it a part of your belief system.  If you want to live a healthy life, you have to constantly make it part of your choice and belief system until it becomes an unconscious belief.  In the beginning, you have to keep at it until the change has become a part of your life.

      Matthew used to wake me up every hour on the hour when I first adopted him.  I had Mom Brain that whole first year…then all of a sudden a miracle happened.  In November 2015, he slept through the night, waking up between 4AM-5AM, demanding breakfast at 5:30AM.  Now, we’re all on his sleep schedule.  Luckily, the times he wakes up are the times I’m supposed to be getting up to meditate, workout and write.  He has helped me find a time to do the things I really want to do.  Those are the times I used to wake up when I was in high school to finish my homework, because I was too tired at night to think.  I’m still that way.  I never write at night, because I’m too tired.

      It was difficult at first getting used to waking up early again, but bringing meditation into my life helped me see that I don’t need to sleep as much…but I do need a lot of coffee.


    5. The mind is a powerful  thing.  By meditating twice a day, I am able to focus on the things I want out of life.  All of my goals are easier to accomplish, because I am able to get rid of the clutter in my mind and focus on the things that are important to me.If there’s anything I know that is true, always keeping a positive mind will make wonderful things happen for you.  It doesn’t just take a positive mindset, it takes a powerful mind.  Meditation is the only way to creating a powerful mind.  You’ll be able to confront your own demons, the ones that try to sabotage you every step of the way.  You’ll be able to vanquish them and decide that you are not going to listen to the naysayers in your head.  You’re going to focus on the good stuff.You learn how to speak to yourself in a nice way.  You won’t tolerate the bad thoughts.  When the bad thoughts happen, you’ll decide that you’re not going to listen to those thoughts anymore.  You choose to listen to only the good things.  You choose to remain positive.

      It takes a lot of practice to focus on choosing the good and positive things in life.  That’s why I meditate no less than two times a day.  A lot of times, I go for walks and meditate while walking (not all meditations are closed eyes).

      We all have things we have to work on inside of us.  We can choose to let go of our past and focus on creating a better self for ourselves.  Meditation is a powerful thing.  It’s you taking back control over your entire life and deciding that from here on out, you’re going to live an amazing life.

      You’ll begin to see that you are not a victim of circumstances.  You are the creator of your circumstances.  We all have choices we make in life.  How we view life and the challenges that happen along this journey, is all a choice.

      We can choose to look at life negatively, thus creating a negative circumstance, or we can choose to see things in a positive light and see great things happen.  We can see the silver lining even in the worst of circumstances.

      Achieving your goal is all in a mindset.  It’s all about incorporating your goal into your own belief system.


WHAT TO DO

You’ve gotten this far.  First, read that article by Campbell.  You’ll see how you can stop from sabotaging yourself and strengthen your belief system.

Get yourself an all-in-one monthly/weekly calendar to keep track of your accomplishments.  Be colorful about it.  I use different color pens and stickers.

Create a daily goal that you know you can accomplish every single day. Mine is 100 chores a day and to read 50 pages a day.  This is your daily dose of the “You Can Do It!” feeling that will overflow into your other goals.  It will help give you motivation to accomplish your other goals.

See your setback as a challenge to up your game.  Don’t be dismayed when you feel like everything you worked so hard for is wiped out from under you.  Instead, take a moment to reflect.  Keep doing what you were doing, but ask yourself how you can do this better.  Is there something you overlooked?  Is there a way you could probably improve upon what you’ve already done?  Is there a way you can do this differently, but still accomplish your goal?

Take one step at a time.  It is tough making changes like waking up early in the morning to go for a run.  When you get up in the morning, resolve to thinking the SNOOZE button no longer exists and you have a crazy Maine Coon cat waking you up and attacking you if you even attempt to press snooze (yes, mine does this). You are accomplishing something each time you wake up and resolve to run.

Keep in mind that you are taking this one step at a time.  Create better habits with each step.  Maybe instead of taking the elevator up those few short flights, you’ll arrive 10 minutes earlier to walk up those flights of stairs.  If you sit at your desk during lunch, resolve to walk during lunch to get in your daily 10,000 steps.  Make small, but positive changes to accomplish your goals.  This is about incorporating this into your belief cycle…the belief that you should be doing this because it is WHO YOU ARE.

Do this again and again and again until it becomes an unconscious decision inside of you.  Practice Makes Perfect!  If you want to eat healthier, it’s about always wanting to choose the healthier food the majority of the time.  If you don’t like healthy food, create healthy food you’ll fall in love with.  It’s all about trial by error.  Sometimes you’ll find that trying and trying again, even attempting new things to reach your goals will create a new passion in life…being the person you always dreamed of being…YOU in this moment…the person that accomplished their goals and made their dreams come true.




The Resolutions 2016

Resolutions 2016

Resolutions.

We all make them.  Some try to say they tossed their resolutions out before the ball even dropped.  Then there are those who realize that they need a change.  Very few stick to those resolutions just a day into the new year.  Others go two to three weeks into the new year.  Some see it through for the first three months and then give up.  Then there are those who truly stick to their resolutions because they wanted to see it through until the end.

Over these last couple of years, I’ve tried to make resolutions, but because I was a little stuck in life, I just didn’t care about those resolutions because I wasn’t quite sure what it was about me that I wanted to change.

For those who don’t know, I was faced with my own mortality back in 2013 when I was told I had a tumor in my parathyroid gland (the gland that synthesizes calcium).  The gland and the tumor had to come out.  I was told to prepare for the worst.  The worst was death.  I found out in August 2013.  On October 22, 2013, I went under the knife and woke up a very different person.

I’ve been pushing myself since then to try to get back to some sort of normalcy.  But it just wouldn’t come.  That normalcy is about finding out who you are now that everything in your universe has changed.  This is normal for people who have had a major surgery or are faced with their own mortality (like a heart attack, an accident, cancer, etc.).  Your life before that moment means nothing to you.  It’s who you are after the surgery or life threatening moment that you are trying to define.  Just who are you now and what do you want out of life?

Since the surgery, I’ve had friends so absorbed in their own worlds that the second they can stop and ask what is going on they are shocked to discover just how much I’ve been struggling since the surgery and what I’ve been doing to get back to being normal again.  I can tell you one thing…it has not been easy.

But this year, I feel like it is time to evolve into the person I am trying to become, and in some cases, get back to.

This past year, I’ve been sharing a few of the things I’ve been doing on Instagram and Twitter.  It’s a way to take a glimpse at the path I’m ultimately following.  I’ve found that when you are on the right path, everything works out more magically for you than you can ever imagine.  I’ve made a lot of new friends this past year and have met and spoken to a lot of incredible people this past year.  When I got the invitation to Martha Stewart’s conference, I was shocked.

That was synchronicity. It was the defining moment of 2015 that helped me understand what I was going to do with my life.  What direction my life was heading was all laid before me in that conference.  It was like I could finally connect the dots stretching across the universe before me to create a new destiny.  In other words, I finally saw the person I was to become.

When people ask me what my resolution this year is, I say it’s to work on my Type-A personality.  People laugh like that’s absolutely crazy.  Who wants to work on being Type-A?  Well, I’ve been lingering between Type-A and B and I’m kind of sick and tired of being stuck in the middle there, gravitating between getting shit done and being too lazy to do it.

My friend said to me after Thanksgiving that she had read that the way you can tell if a person is Type-A or Type-B all falls under when they put their Christmas tree up.  Type-A’s have the tree up no later than the day after Thanksgiving.  Type-B’s procrastinate.  They get their trees up no later than Christmas Eve.  My tree was up the day after Thanksgiving.  Waiting until Christmas Eve would have driven me crazy since there’s so much to do between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Now, I’m going nuts because the tree is still up and it’s January 2.  No worries…it’s coming down at some point today.  I only kept it up until now because Matthew Lucifer’s birthday was yesterday and he loves hiding out under the tree.

Getting back to being Type-A, it falls under being a Perfectionist Wannabe.  Martha Stewart is the epitome of the Perfectionist.  After all, when it comes to home stuff, don’t we ask, “What would Martha do?”  One thing I learned at the conference is that we all need to be just as good as Martha, so that one day people will say, “What would ______ do?”

So this year, at the top of my list is to work on being a Type-A for one simple reason…because focusing on being that Type-A is what drives the motivation behind doing all of the things I want to do in life.  I’m tired of dreaming or just trying to figure out what I want to do.  Being a Type-A motivates me to stop thinking about it and just do it already.  Meandering between Type-A and Type-B to me means thinking about it, thinking about doing it, and then coming up with a lot of reasons on why I can’t do it.  When you do that, you find you start to suffer.

So I’m going to take you through each resolution one at a time.

 

FOCUS ON BEING THE TYPE-A PERSONALITY.

{Explained above.}

 

KON MARI (DECLUTTER) THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE IN ALL ASPECTS: HOME, MIND, BODY, FINANCES, AND LIFE.

Over the next five months, I’ll be sharing how I’m decluttering the various aspects of my life. The reason why I chose to make this a major resolution is because I found that I was buried under so much stuff that each weekend when I told myself I was going to write, I’d find myself spending the entire weekend cleaning and taking care of stuff around the house.  I never got around to doing the things I wanted to do to advance my life because I was too busy taking care of the shit I already had in my life.  In November, I learned about the Japanese art of decluttering and started to apply it to my life.  I feel so much better now that I’ve started to create the right kind of change in my life.  I’m getting rid of things so I don’t have to take care of them anymore.  The less tidying I have to do, the more time I have to do the things I really want to be doing with my life.

I learned over these last couple of months that decluttering doesn’t just happen with your things, but it should also happen with the things you keep in your heart and your mind.  It should happen with your finances.  You have to clean house in every single aspect.

One thing I didn’t expect out of this were the emotions that come out of nowhere.  They’re emotions you never knew you had.  It can be pretty ugly to face, but it gets to the root of the problem with why you stockpile so many things around you…why you shop so much…why you do X, Y and Z until you are drowning in it.  When you face it, it will help you move forward to living with only the things you need in order to be happy.

PRACTICE YOGA REGULARLY.

This year will mark my 40th year of life.  One of the goals I’ve had for myself since I was in my early 20s was to have a yogalicious body.  Well, that Type-B in me has procrastinated until now.  So this is the year I want to finally make that change a permanent change.

DEVELOP CONTENT DAILY FOR PERFECTIONIST WANNABE.  WORK HARD AT MAKING THE SITE SUCCESSFUL.  

One thing I’ve discovered over these last few months is that the thing I wanted to do most was create more content and make this site successful.  But being bogged down with so many other things (like stuff) made me realize it’s time to be that Type-A, declutter the stuff that doesn’t bring me joy, and really bust my ass to do the things I want to do for this site.

Two days in a row of posting in 2016.  You can say I’m off to a good start.

I’ve been promoting my work, researching and putting things together to make sure I turn this site in the direction I want it to go into.

READ 52+ BOOKS THIS YEAR. 12 OF WHICH NEED TO BE A CLASSIC (1 CLASSIC A MONTH).

This is a resolution I make every year.  These last two years, it’s fallen to the wayside.  I decided to really to get things moving this year, especially since I’ve been talking to publishers these last six months.

These past few days, I’ve been following a lot of Instagram accounts for people who love books.  I’ve followed a January Instagram challenge.  I’ve sorted through and picked the books I want to read and review this month.  Photographed it.  Posted it.  More importantly, I’ve spent plenty of time reading, so I know I’ll cross one book off my ‘to be read’ list later today.  That’s one book down by the second day in 2016.  That is huge progress, especially since that’s a book I was supposed to review months ago.

52 books may seem like a lot, but I hope to read over 100.  There were a few Instagram accounts I followed that read over 100 books in 2015!  If they can make it possible, I know I can at least attempt to read over 52 books this year.  I’d feel like I accomplished something HUGE!

I do listen to audio books at the office and while I’m commuting or walking.  I’ve cracked out a few books this past year that way.  Now that I feel passionate about reading again and have started following a community with that same passion, I believe this is definitely a resolution that will be completed by the end of 2016.

[NOTE: If you have a resolution you need help with, follow inspiring accounts on Instagram of people with that same goal in mind.  A lot of times seeing something visually beautiful and stimulating, sharing your progress and joining challenges will help inspire you to complete your goal.]

GO ON A SPENDING DIET (SEE #2).  HAVE FEWER, BUT BETTER THINGS.

I carry a piece of paper in my wallet that says “Have Fewer, But Better Things.”  At first, figuring out what ‘better things’ was netted me a lot of stuff just to pare it down to figure out what was ‘better.’  In the process, I discovered what I truly loved.  I  kept only the things I knew would last for a very, very long time.  These were the things that I enjoyed.  In the process, I started to find my own sense of style.  No more are the things that don’t fit, pinch a little, or I don’t feel absolutely amazing in.  They were donated or sold.

I also have a large entertainment collection consisting of videos and books.  I learned new ways to pare those things down, and go digital.  That meant getting with the times and investing in new technology that would allow me to simplify my life, organize everything, and help me to get rid of things that would only require maintenance and space in my home.  The goal is essentially to have fewer, but better things.

That means…for the next 6 months, while I am saving for another resolution, I’ll be focused on a spending diet so I don’t accumulate while I’m trying to declutter and get things under control.  The focus is fewer, but better things.  I already have the better things, I just need to pare all the other stuff out just to make sure that’s all I have.  I don’t want to add to it anymore.

PHOTOGRAPH MORE.  RELEASE THE WORKS FROM PREVIOUS YEARS (like the Pete Yorn photo collection like the photo that appears above).

So when I met Pete Yorn after one of his concerts in NYC, I mentioned I was a photographer, because I had been photographing him all night in front of the stage.  He asked me where my studio was (I had a good laugh).

I promised him a couple of years ago I’d release my photo collection of him from that night.  Yeah.  It’s been two years.  That Type-A in me from here on out will be getting that collection, as well as all of the others, out this year.  After all, there are some photos out there that is available for sale through stock photography already.  I just have to work on a few more of my relationships with a few other stock photography companies this year.  Trust me, it’s on my TO DO list.

The stuff like this Pete Yorn photo are treated a little differently.  When the collection is released, it’s not available for stock photography.  It will be available in more of the art photography form.  A little pricier than licensing to publish a photo.  His photos are part of the Rockstar collection.  I would like to continue the Rockstar collection this year.  We’ll see who I add to the collection…

FINISH THE NOVEL.  NO EXCUSES.

No more procrastinating.  Just finish it.

LIVE EACH DAY FULLY.  WORK HARD.  PLAY HARD.  ENJOY IT ALL, EVEN THE TOUGH STUFF.

WRITE, WRITE AND WRITE.  THEN WRITE SOME MORE BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO WRITE.

TRY TO EAT MORE FRUITS/VEGETABLES WITH EACH MEAL.  SNEAK IT IN SOMEHOW.

Since the surgery in 2013, I gravitate between being a foodie and a kiddie.  That first year, you couldn’t ask me to get beyond eating what you’d feed your 5 year old child.  Grilled cheese.  Chicken nuggets.  Tater tots.  Spaghetti with meat sauce.  You know, the simple stuff.

I couldn’t enjoy the finer things that first year after the surgery.  Now, I either have a foodie moment, or I eat kid food.  There’s no in between.  When people say they’re on a diet, I look at them like…what’s that?

I don’t eat a lot of food.  I only eat as much as my body is interested in eating (which isn’t much).  What I would like to do is in that little amount of food I consume, that my veggies be more than ketchup with my chicken nuggets.  I would like to enjoy fruits and vegetables again.  This is a 2 year struggle post-op.  I’m hoping this is the year I get beyond the protein and carbs and can really add in fruits/vegetables on a regular basis.

MAKE MORE FRIENDS AND CONTACTS.  GET TO KNOW YOUR FOLLOWERS.

Over the years, I have tried not to get close to people.  I’ve tried to make sure there was that barrier.  You can say there were a few too many stalkers and weirdos in my past that contributed to that decision.

Over these last couple of years, I’ve learned that I can handle the crazies and the fans that call me all the time, text me, message me to the point of…ok…you’re being a little awkward and weird.  I can handle it now.

Why punish everyone because there are a few people that get a little nutso?  There are a lot of great people out there.  I’ve made some great friends over this last year in the various industry events I’ve attended.  I’ve been learning to start being friendlier to complete strangers on social media, and not so guarded.  Kindness gets you so much farther in the world these days.  Besides, being kind and just talking to people (including the homeless) has made me really see life in a whole new perspective.  It’s helped me to finally see humanity in everyone…including the forgotten and ignored.

FIND A SITTER FOR MATTHEW SO YOU CAN GO ON VACATION THIS YEAR.

So the main reason why I have not been able to travel in these last two years was because I was under a medical travel restriction the first year post-op.  After that, I adopted Matthew Lucifer.  He’s my sweet, adorable, can turn into Lucifer himself, Maine Coon cat.  He’s not a normal cat.  He is HIGH MAINTENANCE.

I can leave the other cat home for a week…no problem.  Matthew…I can’t leave alone for one night.  Both cats would be dehydrated if I left them alone a whole day, because Matthew plays with water.  He dumps out his water bowl so he can play in the water.  I have not been able to kick him of this habit.  He literally picks the heavy container up using his entire body weight to dump out the contents.  I fill his water bowl 3 times every morning.  Usually, there’s no water in the bowl when I get home.

Matthew is like a 4-year old child (he turned 4 yesterday).  You can’t leave him alone unattended for too long.  He is very social, but he’s not good with sleepovers because he is known to bite and keep people up all night long.  I had mom brain the whole first year I had him.  He’s been sleeping from 8PM-5:30AM for only 3 months now.  He wakes at 5:30AM, wakes mom up, and doesn’t stop until 6AM when it’s time for breakfast.  If you don’t rise to feed him at 6AM, plan on dealing with Lucifer until you get out of bed.  Full on cat attack while you’re trying to sleep.  Every morning it is like this.

If only I could find him a sitter so I can go to South America…I could really begin to travel again.

BUY YOUR NEW HOME BY THE END OF THE YEAR.

I’ve been tossing between buying/building for the last two years.  This is the year I’ll make that decision.  I am tired of living where I’m living now, being bothered by other people. I just want a place all my own without crazy landlords calling me up about apartments that have nothing to do with me.  Like I care the person next to me is moving out.  Why are you telling me to list their apartment?  It has nothing to do with me.  [Yes, this did happen just last month.]

HIT ALL MONTHLY FINANCIAL GOALS YOU’VE SET FOR YOURSELF. HUSTLE.

If you want to reach your own financial goals, you have to buckle down and get serious about it.  If I want to build my dream house, it requires the right funds.  If I want this site to do what I want it to do, I have to hustle.  If I want my own personal success and dreams to come true, I have to hustle.  The goal this year is to make sure all of those goals are met, especially financially.  It is not cheap to do the things I do.  There is a lot of money vested into the success of this site.  Between events, appearances, the correct wardrobe to go with it, conferences, etc. it costs a lot to go and do these things.

I have a certain audience and they are my peers.  Who are my peers?  The same people who understand that if you want a dream to come true, it takes a lot of your own capital.  You have to really invest in that life in order to make yourself successful.  If you want to be a millionaire, you have to surround yourself with millionaires.  You want to be an artist, you have to surround yourself with other artists.  You want to be a writer, you have to surround yourself with people in the industry.

When you have money and invest in putting yourself among those people that are the influencers and will inspire you to make your dream happen, it’s easier.  Most people think that success comes from luck, busting your ass, etc.  I’ll let you in on a secret…it is a whole lot easier when you have the money that can put you in the same audience as those people you admire and strive to be like.

What I plan to do over the course of this next year requires some serious hustle in order for this site (and my life) to turn into what I envision it to be.

All of the previous resolutions, especially the Type-A resolution, is what will fuel me in making sure that the ultimate goal for 2016 for this site comes to fruition.

…..

So over this year, I’ll be sharing this Type-A hustle journey with you.  There are so many aspects to it, especially with the decluttering over these next 5 months.

If you love to read books, follow my Instagram: diaryofaperfectionistwannabe.  I’ll be joining a lot of the reading challenges and discussing books there, since there is a pretty huge community there discussing it.  I’ll also look for other avenues to discuss books/movies, etc. with everyone if I see there’s an interest.

At any rate, I look forward to talking to everybody.  Feel free to share your resolutions or thoughts below.  Is there anything you’d like to see from the site this year?  Just let me know.  I already have one request in re: Justin Bieber…

Young fans…

Mission 40

santorini14September begins a new season for me and this is what I have planned for the site.

Why is September the start of a new season?  

Well, consider it a little like going back to school.  Each new school year is the start of a whole new you.  That’s what I always loved about the fall.  Autumn marked the start of a renewal and a chance to do things differently…actually, better than you did them before.

It means new clothes, new books, new activities, new learning experiences, and a whole new workload.  September marks Fashion Week.  For me, it also marks the start of my hockey season when I go back to covering hockey for Inside Hockey.  The hockey season starts on September 17th for me.  I’ll still have plenty of film screenings and premieres to attend, as well as a few film festivals.  The Metropolitan Opera season also begins for me and I’m starting it off with Turnadot.

September also marks the release of many new books from various publishers.  We’ll be sharing what’s new, as well as have a few special interviews with authors.

Mission 40

I’ve been tinkering with the idea of sharing the new journey I’m on.  I’ve kept it under wraps these last couple of months because I’ve been trying to add some structure and thought into what exactly I wanted to do.  Next year, I turn 40.  With that, I have always had a specific goal in mind for myself of who I wanted to be at 40.

I’ll admit that I’ve laid that goal to the wayside for so many years because I’m a bit of a procrastinator.  I kept thinking, “Oh, next year…I have plenty of time.”  Well, I can’t say that anymore because next year is 40.  Now is the time to get my butt in gear.  I have to start being that person I envisioned myself to be at this age and that’s where Mission 40 comes in.  Mission 40 is a challenge I’ve created for myself to push myself into being the person I’ve always dreamed I would be at this age.

What does Mission 40 entail?  

The number one thing on this list is my overall health.  After dealing with four tumors in this last decade, it’s time to start improving my overall well-being.  Maybe instead of four tumors in this next decade it will be one, or maybe I’ll get lucky and not have another tumor again for the next 30-50 years.  I have the cancer gene, so it is inevitable that I will get another tumor or cancer in some form at some point in my lifetime again.

The goals I am setting with my overall health entail:

  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Brain Health (i.e. increasing knowledge through learning and brain challenges)
  • Soul Health (i.e. Meditation)
  • Beauty (hair, nails, etc.)
  • Less Stress
  • Overall Happiness
  • Getting more sleep

There are also certain personal goals I’ve set for myself careerwise that I am putting into action as the new season begins.  There are certain bucket list items I’d like to check off, too.  There are so many things I’d like to do over this next year in order to increase my overall happiness in life.  A lot of that has to do with becoming more involved.

I’ve also started working more within the community, working on issues that we face in order to make the community better through service.  I’ve also been getting more involved globally on how to evolve humanity by working towards eliminating many of the problems people face like poverty, war, slavery, and inequality.  It’s time humanity evolved and I’m working to put that into action.

I’ll have a special section set up so that you can follow along with what I’m doing on a day to day basis…a journal, so to speak.

My ultimate goal is to reward myself with a special trip to South America next year to see Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands.  If I can get over my fear of snakes…maybe I’ll take a little trip into the Amazon as well.  All in all, this is the adventure I’m planning for…a little 40th birthday present to myself…a South American adventure.  Before I can do any of that, I want to be in a certain place in my life before I reap the rewards.

For those interested in joining me on my Mission, I’ll explain how you can become more involved with the adventure I’m on so you can construct your own Mission for yourself.