Category Archives: Lifestyle

9 Things Women with Perimenopause Need to Know

For women growing older, we learn quickly that as our bodies change after our child-bearing years, the health care industry is no longer interested in helping us. They can’t explain what is going on with our bodies. They tell us to go plant-based, exercise more, and drink more water. They make very little to no recommendations as our hormonal levels plummet, and we start to feel the side effects of perimenopause and menopause.

For those who have suffered from hormonal imbalances that led to cancers and tumors, you will find that the symptoms are heightened compared to other women who have not had surgeries to remove tumors. For women who are overweight, you quickly discover that if you don’t drop the weight (and fast), a life changing event could happen to you (a stroke or heart attack).

There’s the weight gain (and difficulty losing it). Let’s not forget hair thinning and bald spots.

Then there are the doctors that go silent on what they can suggest to us as we enter the menopause era. You’re more likely to discover what you can do to help your changing body from a nutritionist than a doctor.

It’s only now that people are starting to talk about perimenopause and menopause. It’s women sharing what they have discovered, in order to help other women.

That’s what this post is all about. I’m here to share what I discovered that works.

An Overnight Change – What You Need to Focus on From Here on Out

All of the symptoms associated with perimenopause and menopause seem to happen all at once. You wake up one morning, and your whole body has completely changed. I started perimenopause at the age of 38, just one year after I had a tumor removed from my parathyroid gland (the gland that helps synthesize calcium). This is a type of repeating cancer caused by an hormonal imbalance. After seven years, a second tumor should appear in one of the three remaining parathyroid glands. For me, one started forming, but then all of a sudden it stopped growing. Whether it was the Moderna vaccine or something I was doing that stopped the growth, we are not sure. So far, I’ve been able to keep it at bay. These days, my life is focused on getting my hormones in balance as part of my wellness program.

Hormonal imbalances, especially in America, are linked to how we live. Processed foods, beauty products, home fragrances, toxic cleaners, etc., can wreak havoc on your body. While the younger generation criticizes older women for not wearing makeup or taking care of their skin, all I can say is, “What makes you think we weren’t like you at that age? That is why we are in this current predicament.”

Your doctor’s advice of going plant based, drinking more water, and exercising is only part of the equation to getting your hormones back in balance. Vitamins and using the proper beauty products also fit into this equation. So here are the rules of getting your hormones in balance that I find works for me.

1. Eat More Vegetables

A plant based diet is what you should aim for. Start by eating less meat, dairy, fats, and oil (all of these equate to high cholesterol), and then begin replacing those things with vegetables and fruit. A great Instagram to follow is Kiki Nelson (@plantifulkiki). Her cookbook Plantifully Lean explains how she started off prediabetic with high cholesterol, needing to lose weight quickly or face a life changing event (exactly the predicament I am in). She did a lot of research to see what would work. She lost 70 pounds. She shares on her website and Instagram how she did it, but the cookbook shares exactly the method she used to create a program that worked for her.

A note on being on a plant-based diet. I do not consume processed plant-based foods. It’s still processed foods and processed foods are not necessarily good for you. Focus on actual produce, rice, pastas, quinoa, legumes, etc. Plantifully Lean explains which foods to focus on. I also recommend Bountiful Cooking to learn more about food nutrition, especially if you do not want to take your vitamins. Her charts are what I live by when I need to see which foods will provide the vitamins I need (but I still take my vitamins).

2. Exercise More

I say exercise more, but I simply mean just exercise 30 minutes a day. At this stage in life, you need to focus on low-impact activities, resistance and weight training. Now, don’t fight me on this one. I fought myself on this one for many years, but then my body started hurting. I was in so much pain all of the time. I was taking ibuprofen several times a week just to make it through the day.

Believe it or not, your muscles start to go mush overnight (and it’s extremely painful). I hate to exercise, so I decided to find activities I would enjoy doing. Note, I said activities. More than one type of activity. I also threw the word ‘enjoy’ in there. Find activities you enjoy and put them on rotation.

I decided to pick up aerobics (or dancing in place). I didn’t join a class. I just do random aerobic movements in my bedroom for 30 minutes, with the lights out, and Matthew Lucifer (the Maine Coon) sitting on the bed watching me. That way, I cannot see myself with all of the mush slinging through the air.

Something I want to make abundantly clear here with exercise is that I move like an old woman, and I’m only 47. I hadn’t worked out in 10 years (ok, maybe longer). I’m not a teenager or in my 20s anymore, so I can’t move like I did then. I am cautious with what I’m doing. I may move slowly and have the bed in front of me in case I fall, but it’s a small step forward. It’s about doing what you need to do… MOVE. In time, I will advance to not needing a bed in front of me to catch me. I’ll be able to workout with the lights on. It’s the small things you aim for.

I told my friend (who is in her early 30s) that I work out like an old woman and she reminded me that we are no longer our younger selves anymore. The way she works out now, is nothing like she did in her early 20s. She has to keep reminding herself that we are no longer who we were, so we need to stop comparing ourselves to our younger selves.

Keep in mind that you need to find low-impact activities (not high-impact activities, that’s not who you are anymore). I alternate doing aerobics, tai chi, qigong, walking 10k steps, and resistance training each week. I exercise for 30 minutes, Monday – Friday. I give myself the weekends off. I will say that before I started this, my body was in complete pain (head to toe) all of the time. Aerobics, focusing on the hip rotator (because my hips hurt), helped the pain to go away. Even if you are starting from a period of no exercise for the last 10 years, it’s fine. That’s where I was when I started this. I may move like an old woman, but I am moving. That’s the point… to move!

I do not recommend doing just one activity. I recommend trying different activities that are fun and get you to move. If you only walk, you risk injury because your body is basically moving one certain way. You need a variety of exercises doing different things for different parts of your body. Switch it up every day so you don’t get bored. Oh, and stretch more. Your body will thank you!

3. Drink More Water

One thing you will discover is how dehydrated you are. There seems to never be enough water, even though you feel like you’re drinking so much water. This is where I recommend having at least one glass of water with electrolytes every day. This will help your body retain some of that water. At this stage, water just doesn’t stay in your body very well. In our youth, we are 60-70% water. As we get older, it drops to 55% for women (and that’s not good).

How much water should you be drinking? Divide your weight in half. If you’re 200 pounds, you should be drinking 100 ounces of water a day. If you’re 120 pounds, 60 ounces a day. A bonus is that if you are plant based, you can also get water directly from the plants you are consuming. SOURCE: Gennev.

4. Vitamins

This is a category I thought would not stick for me, but it has. In order to remain symptom free, I’ve had to focus on having vitamins every single day. I take Boron (to help absorb the vitamins). This comes as a liquid dropper. Take this first before taking any of your vitamins. After the Boron, I take Vitamins E, B12, D3, Estrogen, Lemme Debloat (prebiotic and probiotic), and a multivitamin. Three days a week, I take iron for my anemia. Since I cannot take pills, all of my vitamins are in gummy form. The multivitamin is in liquid form. I also have a glass of either electrolyte water, Bloom water, or Magnesium water after I take my vitamins. [Note: All of these items are featured in the Women’s Wellness shop in my Amazon Store link under Shop in the menu above.]

5. Beauty Products

What every woman starts to notice are the changes in her skin. I’m telling ya, it happens so quickly. From age spots to pimples and skin discoloration that never goes away, to the inevitable wrinkle (eek!), your skin changes literally overnight. That means you need new products.

BUT… before you reach for that anti-aging cream, know that most products on the market are hormone disruptors. From your hair products, moisturizers, makeup, and bathing products, you will need a complete overhaul (the earlier you can do this in your life, the better (looking at you, GenZ)). I highly recommend Pacifica Beauty (see their link under the Shop tab in the menu). Their products are vegan and almost everything they sell is the answer to a healthier you.

I have spent the last 4 years sans makeup to help my skin heal. Pacifica Beauty has been a huge part of that journey. I use almost all of their products. I like to use Pore Warrior Everyday Lotion as the base, and top it with Vegan Collagen Every Day Lotion SPF 30. Glow Baby is a great vitamin C cleanser. I use their hairspray and their makeup (when I use makeup).

I spent a lot of money on luxury makeup and nothing worked. It wouldn’t even go onto my skin correctly. Pacifica Beauty was the only makeup that was perfect for my skin. Their website is literally my one stop shop for buying beauty products that are good for me.

I highly suggest doing a complete overhaul of all of your bath and beauty products and focus on vegan products that are not hormone disruptors.

6. Perfumes

Be careful with perfumes. This can be a huge hormone disruptor. Pacifica Beauty has their own line. But there are also scented oils that are popular in European and African countries that work far better than eau de toilettes and perfumes. They won’t disrupt your hormones, so be on the lookout for those.

7. Hair Care for Hair Loss

This is probably the most important item on this list because so many suffer from hair loss and balding. Pacifica Beauty’s Rosemary Purify is your answer. All of your hair care products are hormone disruptors. Rosemary Purify helps with hair loss. After a month, you will start to notice new growth.

For some women, they notice immediately. I have a friend who suffers from hair loss worse than I do. She noticed the changes in my hair and asked me what I was doing differently. She immediately bought all of the Rosemary Purify products. A week later, her sister ran into her and asked what she was doing differently, because she noticed her hair looked so much better. She bought her sister a complete set, as well. So it is not just you who will notice, people who see you every day will notice. [see link under the Shop tab in the menu to go directly to Pacifica Beauty’s website.]

Another thing I use along with the Rosemary Purify collection is a home remedy.

ROSEMARY & MINT WATER: Bring a pot of water to boil with a few sprigs of rosemary and mint. When the water becomes fragrant, turn off the heat. Remove the rosemary and mint. Wait for the water to cool and put the water in a spray bottle. Before bed, spray some of the water onto your scalp. Massage the water into your scalp. That’s it. Just forewarning you that this is very fragrant. While it smells good, some people may not like the fragrance.

Note: When using rosemary products, it is important to use the Rosemary Apple Cider Scalp Detox Tonic from Pacifica Beauty. Using hair products creates buildup (think congestion). You need to let your scalp breathe, so it can start new growth. Use the Detox Tonic every other day.

8. Collagen

I use Primal Kitchen Collagen Peptides (Unflavored). I sneak this into smoothies and soups. Since there’s no flavor, it just adds a little extra creaminess to the dish/drink. Collagen helps with hair, skin, and nails.

9. Meditation

Your mental health is just as important today as it is any day. Take some time out every morning and practice silence and self-reflection. Hormonal shifts can lead to a variety of different emotions that we do not want to feel (like anger).

If you experience anxiety (like I do), sometimes this occurs during a hormonal drop. I never had anxiety until about a year ago. This always occurred when I felt a hormonal drop. Practicing meditation helped me to work through that anxiety. If you’re doing everything else above, you will find that the anxiety starts to dissipate when you get your hormones back on track. But there are times when you have no control, and that hormonal drop will start the anxiety up again.

Believe it or not, Matthew Lucifer (the Maine Coon) taught me how to manage my anxiety. I was having an anxiety issue one night when I was trying to sleep. He sensed it and came over to me. He grabbed my wrist, put it against his neck, and started purring. It was like he was telling me to focus on the purring and breathe with him. Three minutes later, my heart rate was back to normal.

What this taught me was that the key to getting my anxiety under control was to focus on my breathing. I use meditation podcasts when I can’t get my heart rate down. I focus on ones that have a breathing exercise at the beginning. Within a few minutes, the heart rate is back to normal. It doesn’t matter where I am, if I am having an episode, I focus on me, not what other people might think. That is practicing self-care.

At Home

One thing you will be surprised to discover is that there are things around us in our home that can disrupt our hormones. How we clean, the detergents we use, and the air fresheners we plug-in can cause a hormonal imbalance. Even our mattresses can have a layer of formaldehyde on it that can disrupt your hormones.

USE green products to clean. Do not be fooled by products that are not 100% green. Use only products from reputable green companies. Clorox may say that their product is Green, but they don’t have to tell you the percentage of it that is not eco-friendly. I recommend using companies like Thrive Market and Grove Collaborative to read the labels for you and take the guesswork out of the process of trying to figure out if this product is safe to use or not.

DO NOT USE air freshener plug-ins or scented candles. First, it’s not good for animals, and it’s definitely not good for your hormones. A work around is room sprays made by Caldrea and reed diffusers. Grove Collaborative has a whole section of safe air fresheners you can use. Caldrea is a favorite of mine. It’s the only spray my Maine Coon loves (and he doesn’t run when he sees the spray bottle – it’s like he looks forward to smelling the fragrance).

USE eco-friendly laundry detergents and wool dryer balls. I use Stoneworks laundry detergent pods in Rose Petal or Method’s laundry pods, and Friendsheep wool dryer balls. Invest in a set of dark and light wool dryer balls. They last 5+ years. This saves you from buying dryer sheets that have perfumes and chemicals on it that could disrupt your hormones (and cause damage to your dryer). You can add your favorite essential oil to the wool dryer balls when you want to add a little bit of fragrance to your laundry. [You can find these products in the At Home-Apartment Living tab in my Amazon Store link in the menu above.]

USE eco-friendly products to wash your dishes, clean your home, and clean your carpets. I can’t even begin to tell you how horrible toxic cleaners are to your health. Not only are people with cancer sensitive to toxic cleaners, but you will find that the history of bleach in the home is what started a lot of cancers, and eventually the changes in our bodies, generation after generation to now seeing so many children with autism and childhood cancers. Blame the toxic cleaner that was introduced into the home, not the falsified report on vaccines. You can read more about it in Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning. You’ll learn a lot about how toxic cleaners changed our DNA after it was introduced into the home.

Hey, even the vet told me to green my cleaning after she discussed Matthew’s allergies, just in case it was a toxic cleaner, and not seasonal allergies. I was instantly able to rule that one out, because we do not use toxic cleaners in our home.

Wow, Right?

I know. This is a lot to take in. I had to learn quickly what I needed to do when everything changed. So bookmark this page and come back to it. Print it out. I tried to make things easy to find in my Amazon shop. Pacifica Beauty is beyond amazing. I’ve seen instant healthy changes every single time I try a new product. I can’t speak enough great things about the products available there.

As you go through these changes in life, you will need to find what makes you feel better. Do I get hot flashes? In the beginning, I did. Do I get night sweats? Only when my hormones are not balanced.

What helped? Everything I mentioned above. I am month four into the menopause phase. I was feeling the symptoms like crazy in the very beginning. I went to my doctor for my annual physical and we focused on the labs from the bloodwork to see what needed to be my focus. I incorporated the vitamins, exercise, and a diet that is moving towards being 100% plant based.

Within two weeks, I noticed the changes. No more night sweats and hot flashes. The brain fog started to dissipate. My body wasn’t in pain anymore. I could actually move a little faster since I was not in pain (i.e. I could finally keep better pace with my friends). The anxiety is a little more under control now that I’m aware that I was suffering from it (and what triggered it).

You can find all of the products I’ve listed above at either the Amazon Store or the Pacifica Beauty website, both of which are linked under the Shop tab in the menu above.

If you’ve found something that works, comment below, because there are many women that need to try the things that are working for others. But I recommend visiting your doctor first for an annual physical. They can go over what they see from your bloodwork and show you what you need to focus on to get to better. For instance, my bloodwork discovered anemia, pre-diabetic, and high cholesterol. I even got to see what my blood cells contained (and it was not a good report). Really looking at that report helped me to see where the hormonal imbalances were happening so I could focus on those areas, while maintaining the others.

I recommend starting with your doctor first and then building a program that will work for you.

Today’s Advice from Anthony Hopkins “Powerful Words”

This morning, while I was outside with Matthew (the Maine Coon), I opened up my Notes app to jot down my to do list for today. Apparently, I haven’t used the app in some time because I found a note I left in there that I would apparently need the next time I opened up the app. It contained Anthony Hopkins’s “Powerful Words.”

It’s funny how the universe works, especially when it concerns matters of the soul. The note was something I left for myself because it concerned one particular person.

When I left the note for myself a couple of years ago, I was frustrated at the time. Things didn’t work out. The universe prevented me from doing the things I hoped to do (like move to France at that time). But now I see why the universe was stopping me. Certain things needed to happen first, and it had nothing to do with me.

The same quote kept popping up yesterday for me. It said that just because things don’t happen when you want it to, it doesn’t mean it is not going to happen. Things happen when the moment is right.

When I saw this note this morning, I had to say to myself this was never about me and how I felt. This was about the person I was thinking of when I saved it. The universe made sure I saved these words so I could share these words when the moment was right. The Universe is always making sure we find the right words when the people dear to our souls need to hear the Universe speak, especially when the Universe is working its magic.

ANTHONY HOPKINS – Powerful Words

′′Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want change.

Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.

When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn’t mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren’t ready to accompany you.

If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don’t do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.

That’s what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are.

The more time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection to someone else.

There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet with you at your level of interest and commitment.

The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you stay away from the community you want.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you won’t be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it. This is not love, it’s attachment. It’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t deserve it. You deserve so much, there are people who should not be in your life.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence.

When you realize this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be around you, your energy is stolen.

You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and for everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′compatible′′ people are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It’s not your work to exist for people and give your life to them! If you feel bad, if you feel compelled, you will be the root of all your problems, fearing that they will not return the favours you have granted. It’s your only obligation to realize that you are the love of your destiny and accept the love you deserve.

Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment, true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything begins to change. Don’t waste time with people who are not worth it. Change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.”

Anthony Hopkins

Adulting 101: Prepare for Sick Days With a Sick Day Pantry

Everyone needs a sick day pantry to prepare themselves for the inevitable: the day you feel under the weather. 

Most people never think about preparing for their sick days at home when they plan for life’s little emergencies.  They usually wait until they are sick to buy the things they need. They never prepare for the inevitable…the day they are sick.  So why wait until you are sick to get what you need when you can just prepare your home for the sick day that is eventually going to come? You should have your own sick day pantry. 

Sick Day Pantry

Just like you need to have your own food pantry for the basics you’ll need when you cook, you should also start a sick day pantry for the days you are not feeling well. You don’t have to have an entire closet filled with the necessities. You just need to make sure to have these items stocked in your home.

Where to begin?  Start with a list. This is a list you can refer to as you slowly put together your pantry. You don’t have to accumulate everything in one shopping trip. Just keep your list handy and pick up the items you need every time you shop. Soon, you’ll have your own complete sick day pantry.

Each and every person is different when it comes to what they need to comfort themselves when they’re under the weather.  Make sure all of your go to sick remedies are listed as a priority on your list to purchase first, before adding any of the other items to your pantry. For any prescriptions you need regularly, make sure to always have them at the ready.

SOUPS: Whether you prefer Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup, broth, or your own batch, make sure your cupboard or freezer always has those sick day soups on hand.  If you make your own, make sure to freeze a container of soup (and label it) each time you make a large pot of soup.  Or if you prefer the soup from your favorite restaurant, order an extra one to add to your freezer.  That way, you can have a variety of soups to choose from on sick days.  Remember, you are building up your stock when you are healthy.  You can still use these items when you are healthy, just remember to make it a habit to continuously restock every time you shop, order out, or cook. 

COLD/FLU MEDICINE:  Everyone has their own go to medicine.  From NyQuil to Halls Cough Drops, make sure you always have it available.  Keep NyQuil and cough syrups on the shelf and check their expiration dates.  Do not refrigerate.  For cough drops, the best ones that work instantly are the Ricola Lemon Mint drops.  They’re also great to carry in your bag for those rare times you have a coughing fit when the entire room is quiet (think theaters, meetings, transit, etc.). We all know, that’s when coughing fits love to make their appearance.

PAIN MEDICATION:  Make sure to keep a variety of pain medication in your arsenal, because not all medicine is one size fits all.  From acetaminophen (Tylenol) to ibuprofen (Advil) to whatever works specifically for you, make sure to have a variety of pain medication on hand at all times.  This includes pain relief medication like Midol for those who use it.

ALLERGY:  Always have allergy medication.  As we grow older, our bodies change.  One minute we can eat a certain food, the next minute we are suddenly allergic to it.  Always keep on hand the allergy medication that works for you.  Benadryl may work for you, but Claritin and Allegra may not, and vice versa.  Buy what works for you and your household.  You may also have a need to keep an epi-pen in your arsenal.  If this is you, make sure you have enough on hand in your home and on your person.  [ALLERGY MED HINT: Having coffee with an antihistamine helps to stave off the lethargic reaction.]

FIRST AID KIT:  A First Aid Kit is a must.  It will have everything you can possibly need in case of a tiny emergency.  If your kit does not include Neosporin, make sure to add it. [NOTE: Band-aids do not last forever. If you have 20 year old band-aids, it may be time to replace them.]

EYES: Do not wait until you are on your very last pair of contact lenses to see the eye doctor. I had to use one pair of contact lenses throughout the entire pandemic before I could restock. Not to mention, my glasses broke at the start of the pandemic. Lesson learned. Always have your yearly supply of contacts filled, along with contact solution and eye drops. Don’t have just one pair of glasses, have a backup pair, just in case something crazy happens like the world shuts down.

MEDICATED RUB:  There are some people who grew up with the comfort of having Vicks VapoRub massaged into their chest or back when they did not feel well.  Believe it or not, it’s not just for what ails you.  It helps take the itchiness out of bug bites.  Just apply it to the bug bite on your skin.  For mosquito bites, in some cases, you may find the bite disappears the next morning. If a bug bite remains 3 days or more and it’s still swollen, see your doctor. Some bugs can carry infections that require antibiotics. For medicated rubs, the generic brands work just as well as the name brand. Also, tiger balm has it’s own magical properties. You can find tiger balm in Asian stores.

ELECTROLYTES:  Gatorade, Propel, Pedialyte, electrolyte water, etc. should be added to your pantry.  You may not think you’ll need this, but you do.  It helps keep you hydrated, especially if you are vomiting or have diarrhea.  Even if you’re a little under the weather, one glass a day (while you are sick) will help you mend faster.  If you prefer all natural versions, try Ultima Replenisher electrolyte mixes.  They come in a variety of flavors.  Pedialyte also comes in liquid, powder, and popsicle form.  If you have pets, electrolyte water can help them when they are sick.  Some cats and dogs can have Pedialyte but check with your veterinarian before administering it to them. [NOTE: It is a good idea to have a myriad of options at home. You can easily take powder packs on the go, or keep them at the office. For those with pets, make sure to have electrolyte water and a bottle of Pedialyte. While vets recommend the no flavor Pedialyte, Matthew Lucifer (the Maine Coon – pictured) will only drink the flavor version. He refuses to drink electrolyte water. When your animals get picky, make sure you have options to see what will work.]

HONEY:  Honey is excellent for treating colds, sore throats, the flu, and seasonal allergies.  For people with seasonal allergies, you should look to purchasing local honey.  Local honey comes from the bees in your area, so that means any pollen that could be affecting your allergies are being harvested by local bees.  Many stores carry local honey.  Just read the packaging to make sure it’s from someplace near you. For instance, if you are in California, you shouldn’t buy local honey made in New Jersey. That won’t help you. Buy only local honey from your neck of the woods. 

Also popular for what ails you is Manuka Honey. This type of honey has a long list of benefits from supporting wound-healing and antibiotic-resistant infections to maximizing gut health. 

Note that not all honey is made equal.  There are a lot of counterfeit honey options out on the market (think molasses or brown sugar and water).  Make sure you do your research before you buy honey.  Fake honey won’t help you.  For those with pets who suffer from seasonal allergies, giving your pet a tiny bit of local honey every now and again [one to three times a year] will also help them during allergy season. 

LEMONS:  Lemons are an excellent source of Vitamin C and flavanoids.  A hot cup of water with fresh juice from a lemon and honey can help soothe a sore throat or a cold quickly.  If you add lemons to your diet (either as a juice or using the peel in recipes), it serves as an antioxidant that helps prevent diseases and boosts your overall health’s wellbeing.

NATURAL REMEDIES:  There are many tested, but true, remedies out there across the globe.  If you have a go to natural remedy, make sure you always have those ingredients in your pantry/refrigerator. 

One ingredient that is a MUST to keep in your pantry is cornstarch.  It speeds up the clotting process.  It is safe to use on cats and dogs when they are bleeding.  This includes bleeding around their mouth.

TISSUES:  You can easily buy a set of six boxes of tissues for a few dollars.  You will thank yourself later that you have a back stock of tissues you can go through and you don’t have to use toilet paper, paper towels, or your sleeve when you have a runny nose.

VITAMINS: B12, C, D3, Elderberry, etc. are vitamins you should take regularly. But when you start to feel off, B12, C, D3 and Elderberry can all do absolute wonders to help you fight off an illness. Coupled with electrolyte water, soup, and rest, you’re sure to kick that sick feeling quickly.

COMFORT FOOD: Sometimes the only thing you want when you have the flu is orange juice and Oreo cookies (or maybe that’s just me). Whatever your comfort food craving is, there may be a chance you don’t want to keep these items stocked. Consider snack packs and as they start to reach their expiration either donate them to your office coworkers, give to the homeless, etc. After they expire, just throw them out (do not donate). For juices, you can freeze them as ice cubes and use them to liven up a drink or to have as popsicles.

Or you can do like I do with these two comforts. The second you feel off, buy them for that just in case this is the real deal. That way, you have them when you need them. If it’s not an illness, woo hoo! Oreos, mimosas and Netflix are in your future.

Other Items to Stock in Case of Emergency

Besides just the basics of cotton balls and cotton swabs, make sure to add these items to your medicine cabinet.

FOOT CARE:  Corn removers, blister bandages, and moleskin tape (to prevent friction and blisters, as well as add extra cushioning for calluses and corns).  Depending on what ails your feet, you may need additional items to help relieve your feet from pain.  Everyone gets blisters every now and again, so make sure you have those bandages or moleskin tape.

HEATING PADS/COLD PACKS:  If you use these, make sure to have them in your Sick Day Pantry.

HUMIDIFIER/AIR PURIFIERS:  Having both are very important during sick days, winter months, and allergy season.  Vornado makes excellent humidifiers, just make sure to add extra filters to your sick day pantry.  The filters need to be replaced every 6 months.  Or if you are a heavy user, you may need to replace it every few weeks.  You’ll know by looking at the filters.  The blacker they are, the sooner you need to replace them.  For air purifiers, there are new models every year that outdo the next.  Research the year’s best air purifier and go with whichever one suits your needs and budget.

MENSTRUAL CARE:  Sanitary napkins, tampons, menstrual cups/underwear, always make sure to have a back stock ready for yourself and for guests. Also, make sure to have your choice pain meds, chocolate, and heating pad at the ready. [NOTE: Make sure to only buy organic. There are many menstrual care products that cause more problems than they do good. For instance, many tampons and pads on the market are designed to make you bleed more. Some products have been linked to infertility, cancers and miscarriages. There are some ‘organic’ brands that are not really organic. Go with brands like Seventh Generation and other similar companies. Online companies like Thrive Market and Grove Collaborative (both require memberships) help take the guesswork out of it for you and only sell items that are good for you and the Earth.]

ETC.: Grow aloe vera in your home. It’s a cactus, so it’s easy to maintain. It’s great for skin application from sunburns to using as an antiseptic on cuts. [Note: there are studies that do not recommend ingesting aloe vera long term. It’s excellent as a topical application, and should be used mainly for your skin. While there are benefits to ingesting aloe vera, there are many medical studies that do not recommend ingesting it long term.] While you can buy a bottle of aloe vera, having a living plant in your home and snipping only the little bit you need is far more eco-friendlier and better for the environment. You don’t have to worry about the plastic bottle or the product expiring. You can also freeze aloe vera leaves to prep for sunburns.

If you have a green thumb, try growing different herbs like mint, basil, lavender, marigolds (fights fever and treats acne), chamomile and others you might like to use in a tea or in your recipes. Even grow some cat grass or lemongrass for your cats to help them when they’re not feeling well. Make sure to always check if the plants are safe for your animals before growing plants indoors.

How to Stock Up

You do not have to stock up on everything all at once. Keep a list handy of items you need to add to your pantry and pick up an item each time you shop, especially when you see a good deal.  Check sales in your area.  Clip coupons.  Use your saver cards.  Buy generic. Also, don’t be afraid to buy some of these items at a Family Dollar or Dollar Tree.

Also, do not overstock items that can expire, especially if you do not foresee yourself using those items before the expiration date. Stock up on items that you will use regularly like cotton balls, cotton swabs, tissues, menstrual care items, and food you will eat whether you are sick or not. Even Gatorade and Propel expires, so make sure to not overstock on those items, unless you see yourself as using them before they expire.

Sometimes that deal of 2 bottles of NyQuil calls to you, but think before you spring for 2 bottles. If you are shopping for one, you will probably only use 1 bottle a year. That second bottle could expire before you even open it. Start shopping for the next bottle AFTER you open up a bottle and start using it.

If your company adds funds (free money) to an FSA/HSA card for you, or if you add funds to a card yourself, you can use the card to pay for many of these items to build up your sick day pantry. The CARES Act of 2020 expanded FSA/HSA rules to allow use of FSA/HSA funds on items such as menstrual care products. You will also find that these funds can be used towards OTC drugs, PPE, foot care, acne products, acupressure products, and so much more.

How To Create Beautiful Flatlay Photos

On Instagram Live [Year of Me Challenge Video 2], I mentioned I would do a post on where to find products to beautify your flatlay photos for Instagram, so here we are. My first post in months.

To simplify everything, I’ve created an Amazon store that you can access here [AMAZON STORE] or in my bio on Instagram [@michellekennethpw]. In the store, look under “As Seen on Instagram – Backgrounds.” I added everything I spoke about in the video from pretty giftwrap paper to the foam boards to the photography background paper.

For those who were not able to see the video, that’s what this post is for. I’m going to share my tips on how to create the beautiful flatlay photos you see of food, books and various other products. Believe me, those gorgeous flatlay photos against gorgeous wooden floors are not really wooden floors.

Flatlay Photos Tip One: Giftwrap Paper

When I first started out doing flatlays, I used a lot of gift wrap paper I picked up from places like Paper Source or Papyrus. They have an array of beautiful one sheet paper that ranges anywhere between $5-$12 per sheet. Since I’m a lover of paper products, I would sometimes go in and peruse their selection, looking for the perfect backgrounds to use. It was my treat to self because the paper was just so beautiful.

Even something as simple as paint splattered on craft paper created interesting backgrounds for photos. While you could probably make this yourself at home, I’m not that talented. I purchased this from one of the Makers on Amazon.

One of the benefits to double-sided paper is that sometimes when you need just a blank background, but with texture, it serves as a perfect backdrop so you can add your own extras in the photo.

[AMAZON SHOP]

Tip Two: Photography Background Paper

Ever wonder how people got their floors so immaculately clean EVERY SINGLE TIME they took photos using their floors as a backdrop? Or did you ever think, wow, they have incredible marble countertops? I swear I did every single time. Imagine my surprise when I learned their secret.

They were using Photography Background Paper.

There are various different floor backdrops out there. Most sheets of photography background paper are double-sided with two different backgrounds on each side. Costs for these sheets can range between $11 for a single double-sided sheet to $20-$40 for 2-4 sheets.

You can even find backdrops that can serve as a wall for pictures where you need a wall background for book stacks or just a clean back drop for regular non-flatlay photos.

They even have concrete floors for a more intriguing contrast.

I mean, have you ever seen a concrete floor so clean that you could eat off of it???

My favorite backgrounds though are for those who post about food. Not everyone is blessed with marble countertops. Yet, there’s a way to fake it.

For those who like a more wintry or darker background, they do have black marble countertop paper to use. I am considering trying the darker side of food photography later this year, but it might also work for those Instagram feeds that are a bit on the darker side.

Tip Three: Scrapbook Paper

I am relatively new to this tip. @notinjersey (Dara) was using a background I absolutely loved, so I asked her where she got her photography backdrop paper. Imagine my surprise when she shared it was scrapbook paper.

Scrapbook paper comes in varying sizes. I recommend getting the 12×12 (or larger, if that exists) for your flatlay needs. Each package contains 2 sheets each of multiple backgrounds. This may be the most cost efficient method for those just starting out or those who want to not invest a lot of money into this. I bought two packages of scrapbook paper and it cost a little less than $6 each.

For this photo for The Photographer, I used two sheets from the package I purchased.

In this photo, I am using only one sheet of the scrapbook paper.

Tip Four: The Extras for Flatlay Photos

For this tip, I want to give a shoutout to @stephsbooktherapy for this little tip. Go to her Instagram for a tutorial on how to use foam boards with your photography background paper (Tip Two).

I purchased two of the largest foam boards I could find on Amazon, but it ended up being too small. Steph informed me she had to get hers custom cut to fit the actual size of the photography background paper.

So since I’m stuck with these two boards that don’t fit my paper, I started using them for something else. I use them as a flat surface for photos. I can still lay the paper down on top of it or binder clip one side and tuck the corners down underneath my couch cushions (or have Matthew sit on one side of it to keep the corners from curling).

Since these are white boards, they can also help serve as a way to soften the photo or refract the light to brighten the photo. Just position the white board outside of the frame. You’ll be able to see the difference. Find the right spot with the light and then take your photo.

In the photo above, Matthew is sitting on the white board. You see how it brightened up the photo and gave him a softer look? No filter or adjustment was needed.

Truthfully, yes you can live without these boards, but if you’re serious about this, I think it’s worth buying a couple, or even getting them custom cut to fit the photography backdrops. It will just make your life easier when you go to photograph your flatlays. For Steph, she uses one board to create the wall, and the other to create the floor.

Here’s the shop [AMAZON] where you can find everything I’ve referenced in this post, including the white boards. You will not be able to find the actual gift wrap paper I’ve used in Tip One. I’ve listed similar items in the shop. If you love paper as much as I do, I recommend Paper Source and Papyrus to view their handmade collection.

Starting Over Again

When I first started this site, I called it Diary of a Perfectionist Wannabe. It was borne out of the desire to be perfect, to have a sense of perfectionism. This is a trait many Asian Americans understand. We strive to be the best, so we try to perfect ourselves in order to be accepted.

When I read “Searching for Sylvie Lee” by Jean Kwok, I understood why I always had this desire to strive for perfection. It is because I am trying to be accepted by a family and a society that has rejected me because I am not 100% white.

Yes, I said family. My brother and I are a bit of the outliers in our family. My mother is Thai and she married an American in order to escape the slavery she was subjected to in her home country. She wanted to give her future children the opportunity to grow up and live in a world where their family would never sell them in order to put food on their table.

She gave us freedom, but also gave us hell. We were the ones who were not accepted, because we were the minority in our white schools. Our racist Christian family pretended like they loved us, but we knew they didn’t. They tolerated us, because they had no choice. It was the Christian thing to do…pretend to love these kids because they’re blood, but they’re not white.

Love was not something we received from them. We had to search outside of our home for love. I spent most of my life trying to prove to them that I existed. I just wanted to be accepted. The thing is, the world accepted me, but my family never did.

I remember when I invited my wealthy aunt and uncle to an Indy 500 party. Senators and everybody that was anybody in the political world was there. Senator after Senator told my aunt and uncle what a wonderful person I was and how they thought the world of me.

The look on their faces was not one of being proud, it was of shock that these Senators even knew I existed. It was so much easier for them to believe that the life I lived was a complete lie. It did not fit their mold of what they believed I was…someone who would never amount to anything. To them I was not anyone of importance, no matter how many Senators spoke so highly of me and knew my name.

These are things I carry with me even to this day. Like Sylvie Lee, you get to that point where you just want to give up and not care anymore. If they don’t see you now, they will never see you for who you really are. They will never accept me as someone they could love, all because my mother is not white.

It doesn’t matter that I grew up in a white household and the only thing that connects me to the Thai culture is just the food (something I can’t even make). My mother made sure to assimilate us into the American culture, because she was running from her past and wanted nothing to do with it.

I understand that completely. I understand running from the things that have hurt you and caused you pain, looking to start over again. I’m watching it happen to my friend right now. I see her pain and humiliation. I’m watching her preparing to run. I see her not giving a shit about her life right now, because truth be told, no matter how many times she tries not to talk about it, I know what it’s like to be in her shoes. It took me eight years to get over the last guy that made me run.

That’s the thing about pain. When people wound you deeply, you lose all sense of yourself. You walk through life like a ghost, just trying to survive the monotony and move on to the next day. We’ve all been there.

I don’t even like to admit how hurt I was when my boss left. I never thought it would effect me the way that it did. For the last two years, I’ve stopped living my life. I just settled into the flow of existing. Hell, my Instagram feed just screams that I am part of the floodwaters. I’m not me.

That’s what’s been missing these past couple of years…me. There was a time I lived in the VIP world. Yet, these past couple of years, I’ve not done anything. I didn’t go to the opera or the ballet. I barely saw friends. Hell, I barely go out to the movies. All of those celebrity filled events, film festivals, rubbing elbows with directors, actors and fashion designers…I stepped away from.

They’re so busy creating and living, while I’ve fallen into that world that they despise…the mediocrity of life…all because someone hurt me.

So I’m writing all of this, because my universe keeps saying live for today. That mantra is on repeat every single day.

Someone I know recently retired. Then they found out they had stage 4 colon cancer. That’s also known as the death cancer. The lesson here is don’t wait for tomorrow to live life. Do it now, because you are not promised tomorrow.

I tell myself this every single day…since last June. Yet, I did not let it truly sink in that I am not living. I’m just doing the bare minimum to withdraw from life and go on autopilot. But the truth is that it is okay to let yourself grieve and to go numb for a little while. Just don’t stay there so long that you forget who you are and what you are meant to become.

I have been trying very hard to write daily. Sometimes I write one page in one month. That is just how withdrawn I’ve been. I started to see the people that inspire me withdraw from me, because in the grand scheme of the way things are done, you can’t keep sucking the life out of them. They’ve got to shine, and they can’t have you around dulling up their sparkle. They need other gems to sparkle alongside them.

Which leads me to why I am writing this today. I have been out of it for two years now. For some strange reason, I feel like I’ve woken up from a dream where nothing gets done. I looked at my final receipts for the clothes I bought last year and it amounted to $1500. That is so not me. That means, I just did not care. I had emptied out my closets, wanting only easy pieces to wear. These were items that took absolutely no thought whatsoever to pull out to wear.

I realized recently that something was amiss. This just isn’t me. That wake-up call within me finally happened. Now, I’m ready to get back to my life and living it.

This means I want to share my world with the people that come here to read or go to my social media to view. It means not just putting a book up in front of me for you to see, but letting you see more into my life and what I am doing, as well as the things I am trying to accomplish.

The fact that this is my second post this month is a huge step in the right direction.

So with that step, let me tell you what I plan to do from here on out. In my previous post, I shared I wanted to read a book a day. Oh, believe me, that is still a goal. But I am going to take a little step back in the reviewing process, so that I can spend more time writing.

I plan on going back to the film festivals, going to the ballet, operas and Broadway. I plan on hanging out with rock stars, like I used to do. I have every intention of dining out more and trying all of these incredible places that Manhattan has to offer. I plan on building up my wardrobe again. I also plan on buying my first house in the upcoming months, because I need to move in that direction.

Oh yeah, a developer purchased my apartment building. I was told they are giving me a year and a half before they begin the eviction process. I believe that is the amount of time they think they will need to be able to purchase up the remainder of the properties on my block, so they can tear it all down and build something more modern.

I’m kind of tired of people doing that to me and my home, so I am just going to go and buy a place. I spoke to a mortgage lender and we walked through the process. I have more than enough money for a down payment on a house, so it is just a matter of finding the right property.

So right now, my apartment is basically halfway packed up. It’s basically boxes everywhere.

Matthew has had severe allergies over the past few months. First, I came home to the Maine Coon from Pet Semetary and had to run to the vet’s office because his mouth was bleeding again. This time, it wouldn’t stop. We got him on meds fast enough. But come the next month, he needed stronger meds, because he scratched up his face so badly, that it took a couple of months for it to heal. The vet says that like humans, as we get older our allergies get worse. It’s the same for cats. So I’m looking forward to more bleeding and itchiness for the little guy.

Other than that drama, I’ve been thinking lately about the life I want to live. Living is the important part, because that’s the part that’s been missing from my life these past two years. I was stuck in a moment I could not get out of…and once I realized I was stuck in a moment, I decided it was time to get out of it and start living again.

Now, I know there are people that go out there, travel the ends of the earth, completely stuck in a moment inside of themselves, trying to escape it. But the truth is we cannot escape ourselves. We will carry that pain, sorrow, humiliation, and grief with us no matter where we go. A new destination does not mean we will be free of our tormentors. Because we still carry what they did to us no matter where we go to try and heal. Moving forward begins inside of us.

Change begins when we decide we need to change ourselves. What happened to us does not define us. Who we choose to become as a result of everything that has ever happened to us, that’s up to us. We hold that power to become better than we were yesterday.

Me? I’m just tired of waiting for my future to happen, when I know I am the one in charge of creating my own destiny. The universe just falls in line based on the energy I put out there. Change begins within me.

I may strive to be perfect and to create a more perfect system in my life, but I know I am always going to want to be a perfectionist, and never a true perfectionist.

For the family who never saw that perfect child who is a far greater success than anyone else in the family, I may not exist to you, but I exist to others. They see me and they love me for who I am and all my imperfections. They’ve taught me that you were wrong. This is not normal. I deserve better, because I am a way better person than you are. Just too bad you didn’t want to know me at all. Then again, I’m better off not wanting to know you anymore.

When Your Maine Coon Has Allergies

For those who know Matthew Lucifer, they know he is a very unusual cat.  Actually, he is just not a normal cat at all.  He is highly intelligent and understands everything.  He also knows how to communicate what he wants very effectively. We’ve been through some stuff, including dealing with Maine Coon allergies. Here’s what happened. Scroll to the 2023 Update at the bottom of this page, if you want to learn more about what we learned from Matthew’s allergies.

Surita’s Passing

Back in August 2018, I made the difficult decision to help Surita die.  She was 21 years old.  When I told Matthew it was time to let Surita die, he became so upset.  She was in the kitchen at the time.  He ran up to her, collapsed in front of her and started crying.  I was so worried he was going to tell her.  I wanted her last week of life to be a happy one.

Those two never got along.  Surita hated him, but he loved her.  

He wanted to be there when we euthanized her, but Surita did not want him there.  I didn’t want her to go into death seeing Matthew staring back at her, so I kicked Matthew out of the apartment.

Surita.

He cried on the other side of the door wanting back in.  That is unusual for him, because when he goes out into the hall, he runs around.  This time, he wanted to be there for her.  

I held her until I felt her spirit leave.  After she had passed, I let Matthew back in.  He sat down next to her, checking out the two strangers in his home.  Then we motioned to Surita and he looked down.

He said a few words, kissed her and walked away.  I asked him, “Is that all you are going to say to her?”  He responded in the affirmative.

They boxed her up and took her away.  My baby girl.  

He was depressed for a month.

Letting Surita go was very difficult for me. I think I struggled with if I made the right decision. I realized during that last week that she was asking me to help her die. She was in a lot of pain. I miss my baby girl.

These two never got along.  This is what happened when we received a Kitnip Box.  Matthew wants everything in the box.  Surita just wants the treats and maybe one toy.  All of the rest belongs to him.  And yet, that one toy I would give to Surita, he would manage to steal it back and that would be the only toy he would play with out of the entire box.  Christmas was no different.  He only wanted her gifts.

The Bloody Mouth

So Matthew Lucifer had a medical emergency.  He was showing signs something was amiss for some time, but it was hard to figure out if this was something serious.  

Saturday morning, he woke me up.  His kiss was a little wetter than usual and then I saw the blood on his chin.  I got out of bed to wash the blood off of my face.  When I turned to check on him, the blood was gone.

The rest of the day was fine. But when he showed up for bed that night, his mouth was bleeding again and it wouldn’t stop.  The animal hospital was closed for the night, so we had to wait until the next morning to call them.

I sat there watching him bathe himself in blood.  I just stared at him in shock and disgust thinking…this is why your middle name is Lucifer.  You bathe yourself in blood and you don’t care.

The bleeding continued after he fell asleep.  He woke me up at 3AM (like he does every night), shook his head and sprayed blood everywhere.  It was so bad, I had to change the sheets.  I started Googling what was wrong and the only thing that came up was that he had gum disease and possibly a bad tooth.  

When we got up a few hours later, his mouth was still bleeding.  I read that I should try cleaning the blood with a cotton swab, so I handed one to him.  He chewed on it like he normally does.  We did this three times and then the bleeding stopped.  

When I called the vet hospital, Matthew sat next to the phone waiting for the receptionist to pick up.  The second she did, he started talking into the phone.  I assume he was telling her what was wrong.  We made an appointment for that afternoon.

I had him take an early nap with me, because I knew this was going to be a long day for him, especially since the doctor visit was during his nap time.

When it was time to go, I put his coat on, made a little blanket cocoon in his stroller, and we walked the mile to the hospital, going farther away from home than he’s ever been.  He actually enjoyed this little adventure.  I could tell he was nervous, but excited.

At the vet’s office, we discovered that Googling at 3AM is not wise.  My baby did not have gum disease.  He was having an allergic reaction.

The vet noticed there were scabs on his back, which I knew were from a mosquito bite.  We had a few flying around a few weeks ago, and I know he started scratching right after we encountered them.  She double checked to make sure it wasn’t fleas and luckily, it wasn’t.  

That bloody mouth of his was all about that mosquito bite.  Add the fact it is allergy season, and he has allergies, it sent his body into a white blood cell tornado frenzy.  His lips were swollen (which I noticed right before his sister died, but couldn’t remember if this was normal for him). 

All of these different allergens were just too much for his body to handle, so that’s why his mouth started bleeding.

Come Monday morning, the doctor says his blood tests were fine, except he had anemia.  He’s three points below what was considered normal.  I asked if this may be because he bled so much the night before.  She replied that is what she thought, but the specialist said it was more likely due to a blood disorder or a parasite or…

I’m thinking, “Doomsday much???”

So we have to go back for more blood tests the day before Thanksgiving.  He has another round of steroid shots in a month.  He also has to take a daily medication (which he ironically likes to take via syringe) for the next 30 days. 

Luckily, he is responding very well to the steroids and medication.  His lips are no longer swollen (the swelling disappeared the next day).  He’s running around with more energy (good sign he is not anemic).  And he stopped scratching.  

Here were the warning signs something was wrong that was very hard to determine if something more serious was going on:

  1. The scratching (he scratched his face, ears and his back).  Scratching is not normal for him.  I could not determine if this was fleas, mites or something else because it was a new spot every time.  
  2. Swollen lips.  He had 2 little open pockets under his upper lip.  I could not remember if this was normal for him or not.  Ends up, it was not normal.
  3. Itchy nose and lips.  He would use his brush to aggressively scratch his nose and lips.
  4. Scabbing on his back (from the mosquito bite).

I am surprised Matthew started bouncing back so quickly.  He loves his medicine.  I explained to him that he needs to eat right after he takes his medicine or his stomach will hurt.  So he eats immediately after each dose. 

With this little guy, communication is very important.

He Brushes His Teeth

He heard the doctor and I talking about brushing his teeth daily and how he likes to brush his teeth himself.  I just have to hold the toothbrush for him. 

Matthew is extremely intelligent.  He understands everything.  Since the conversation about brushing his teeth, he now goes into the bathroom and tries to brush his teeth by himself without my help.

He still hasn’t mastered turning on the faucet yet, so I still need to help him.  

The Baby Gets Spoiled x10

As of right now, I think he likes all of the attention he’s getting.  He likes being told he’s a good boy and he’s doing a good job.  I think he’s taking advantage of all of this attention…you know, worrying the hell out of his Mama.  He is not eating right now because he knows it’s worrying me.  Loss of appetite is not a side effect for what is going on. 

The side effects for his medicine are actually eating more and drinking more fluids.  So I think this whole ‘loss of appetite’ is an attempt to get my attention.  Either way, I’m going to pick up his favorite Friskies (that he’s not had since his sister died, because they don’t sell them in individual size and god forbid the food come from the refrigerator) and Korean fried chicken for dinner tonight.  

When Surita was alive, I would get Korean fried chicken.  I ate the skin and gave the meat to Surita.  Matthew preferred the skin too, so he’d grab an entire piece of chicken from out of the box and go crazy.  He can eat three all by himself.  [He is a sugar fiend, so the sweet fried chicken is cat nip for him.]

So if Friskies and Korean fried chicken do not revamp his appetite, I’m going to have to let the doctor know he’s not eating anything except dry food and a few bites of wet food after his medicine.

Unfortunately, for Matthew, he’s medically grounded from going outside.  I broke the news to him this morning and he looked at me like…you’re telling me the doctor betrayed me?  

He’ll be able to get around that grounding by being confined to seeing the world through his stroller.

2023 Update

When I first published this back in 2018, this was just the beginning of Matthew’s allergies. Ends up, that bloody mouth was due to an allergic reaction to his food (plus, add in being allergic to mosquitoes and fall seasonal allergies). We switched him to a hydrolyzed protein diet, then slowly started adding foods back to see what he was allergic to. Ends up, he’s allergic to processed chicken and turkey, which seems to be the case with many cats and dogs these days.

He’s currently on a vet diet eating only Royal Canin PR and PD, along with Tiny Tiger and Sheba seafood. He gets Thrive Market’s wild caught tuna on Sundays. He also eats whatever I’m eating. He’s not allergic to chicken or turkey, unless it is processed. If you think about it, we have no idea what they are putting in processed foods.

His food may cost more than mine does, and it scares me if Royal Canin can’t get their food into the US (it’s sourced and made in France), but this is the only thing he can eat without turning into a bloody mess.

Another issue that came up for Matthew during this time was a swollen paw. It got worse and worse. It ended up being allergy related. When we moved, it healed within a month. So it is possible that the previous apartment was an environmentally bad place for us to live, as far as his allergies went. Moving someplace more modernized helped him completely.

He hasn’t had any major allergy issues since we moved. He doesn’t need steroid shots anymore. [Long term use of steroids is bad for him.] He’s still running around outside. He still has seasonal allergies in the fall, but luckily, he hasn’t ripped the hair off of his face. During the fall allergy season, every other day, I give him a little bit of local honey harvested from the bees in our area. That seems to help him a lot.

Some tricks I learned when the allergies got really bad: 1) use cornstarch to stop the bleeding (vet suggested this); and 2) use unrefined organic coconut oil on areas where they’re scratching a lot (especially, if there’s a wound there from the scratching). I need to stress that you need to use UNREFINED organic coconut oil. Refined coconut oil has stuff in it that can be potentially harmful to your animal.

3 Ways to Use Lemons in the Home

Every year I order a box of Meyer Lemons from Birch-Hill Organics.  It is a little treat I enjoy every year, because I love lemons and all things sour.

When I order a box, the question always is: what do I plan to do with all of these lemons?  Here’s what I do…

Lemon Preserves

The main reason why I buy a box of Meyer Lemons is to make lemon preserves.  These lemons tend to be sweeter than the regular lemons you pick up from the grocery store.  They are also juicier!  

Here’s how you make preserves:  you will need canning jars and salt (along with the lemons).  Make sure to wash all of the lemons well to remove any chemicals or pesticides.

  1. Cut each lemon in half (start with five). 
  2. Add salt to the bottom of the canning jar. [I use sea salt.]
  3. Press each lemon half into the bottom of the jar, squeezing out as much use as you can.  [Note: Leave the rinds in the jar.]
  4. Add salt. 
  5. Continue adding lemon halves, pressing them down into the jar, adding salt each time you add a lemon half. 
  6. Proceed to add lemons until you fill the entire jar. 
  7. Seal the jar and place on a shelf (without direct sunlight) for 3 months.

Lemon preserves are used in many French and Moroccan recipes.  Yes, you eat the entire lemon in these recipes.  Meyer Lemons are very pleasant to use as preserves in these dishes as compared to their counterparts, because they are not as bitter.  

I make lemon preserves because all of my favorite French and Moroccan recipes call for them.  These preserves are not so easy to find in stores.  That is why I make my own.  It is so simple to make.  Plus, you are the one that has control over what goes into the preserves.  You are not forced to guess what someone else is putting in store bought preserves.

A Green Cleaning Solution

For those who like to green their cleaning and keep toxic chemicals out of your home, this is how I make my own cleaning solution.

I keep a canning jar on my counter at all times and add citrus rinds to it.  Instead of tossing used rinds into the trash, I remove the pulp from the citrus and add the rinds to the jar.  I add white vinegar about a quarter or halfway up the jar.  Then as the weeks go on, I continue to add the citrus rinds to the jar. 

When it fills up, I wait two weeks before using the vinegar solution in the jar.  I just remove the rinds (you can toss them at this point, but wait until you read the next section) and put the solution in a spray bottle.  You can now use this as an all-purpose cleaner.  

I would like to experiment with other citrus rinds (oranges and grapefruit) in the future to see what type of scent the solution gives off.  Note: I do add lime rinds to the lemon rind jars too.  

A Mosquito Repellent?

A little something I discovered recently is that this cleaning solution can actually work as a mosquito repellent, especially if you have a problem mosquito inside your home.

Just place the rinds in a bowl, along with a little bit of the vinegar solution, and keep the bowl in rooms where mosquitoes may roam. Change out every few days so as to not attract fruit flies.  

So far, this has worked for me.  Because this has been working, I keep the rinds in the solution in the jars.  It is not mandatory that you have to remove the rinds from the jar and toss them.  You can keep them in there as long as you like.  

Someone suggested spraying the solution on your body before bed to maybe deter the mosquitoes from biting you.  I haven’t attempted this yet, but if you do try this, make sure to dilute the vinegar solution with water before applying. 

I think I would rather spray the bedding before applying the solution to my skin.  But maybe one weekend I will try this, because I have read that vinegar helps with skin issues and balances the pH.  

BONUS: If you are bitten by a mosquito, apply Vicks VapoRub (or a similar medicated rub) to the bite.  This actually helps keep the bite from being itchy.  Make sure to apply each night until the bite is gone.  Usually takes 2-3 days.  Also, just a FYI, it takes about 30 minutes for the relief to set in.  

Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

thoughtful-giving
Thoughtful Living: Pack an Extra Lunch

A few weeks ago, I started packing an extra lunch to give to the homeless guys on the block that I adopted in NYC.  There are usually two or three guys on that block.

I started packing an extra lunch, just to up my thoughtful giving game.  Instead of giving the guys a little treat pack, I would give them a meal that I made in my own kitchen.  This was about sharing the blessing I’ve been given.  If God deemed that my refrigerator and pantry be filled with so much food (more food than I can consume myself), then I should share the bounty.

When I changed my diet a couple of months ago, I noticed there were certain items I could not donate to the neighborhood food pantry.  It made me ponder what I should do with all of this food I can’t eat anymore.  That’s when I realized I could cook up a few meals and give it to my guys during the week.

I have a bread machine with plenty of flour.  I didn’t know what I could do with all of that flour after my lifestyle changed.  Then I realized, I can bake bread for them.


A few days after I came up with the idea of making complete meals for the guys, I saw a Facebook posting about someone who used to do the same thing.

When the writer of the story was a young boy, his mother used to send him to school with an extra lunch for one of the boys in his class.  She told him, “Give him the lunch before school.”  He didn’t understand why.  There were times he would hand the boy the lunch during lunch hour.

He didn’t realize until he was older that the reason why his mother asked him to give the boy the lunch before school was so that no one would know his situation.  It was a way of hiding that boy’s poverty from their classmates.  Kids can be cruel.  His mother wanted to protect the boy from that cruelty he would have received from other kids by receiving this charity.

The author realized the invaluable lesson she was instilling in him.  There are kids today that are humiliated because they can’t afford a hot lunch.  It is even exacerbated by the school system when children have their hot meals taken away and have it replaced by a cheese sandwich.

A bunch of idiots on a school board decided to institute those rules of cheese sandwiches when parents failed to pay their children’s lunch bills.  It’s the school system humiliating the child in front of all of the other children, because their parents  are not paying the school lunch bill.  They’re punishing the child for their parents’ failure.

It’s not right.


Imagine changing that narrative if you are a parent.  What if you sent an extra lunch with your child, just in case there was another child that was subjected to the cheese sandwich?  What if you sent them with extra food for those children whose only food they will receive that day are from those school meals?  There are some schools that have a private food pantry for impoverished children who are from homes that cannot afford food.

It is private so that other children do not know who is shopping that food pantry.

It is a shame that children have to fear other children finding out that they are starving.  Children with the wealth of food on their tables should share with those who do not have that same blessing.  This is a human quality that should be instilled in each and every one of us.  We should not feel ashamed or overprotective of sharing our blessings with others.

I’ve seen people repulsed when I stop to give food to the homeless guys or stop to talk to them.  Someone was telling me recently that he was out with a woman when they were stopped by a homeless man asking for assistance.  He went to give him the few dollars he had in his pocket.  The homeless man accidentally brushed up against the woman and she freaked out.  She was so disgusted she said she had to go home and shower to get the homeless off of her.

When he told me this story, my mouth literally dropped.  He re-emphasized the most important point, “They are human beings, too.”



We live in a world where there is so much abundance.  It is unfathomable that anyone should go hungry in this country.  How is it that we cannot share this wealth of food with everyone?

If you’re a parent, teach your kids a valuable lesson about being a thoughtful and giving human being.  Send them to school with an extra lunch for those kids that are hungry.  Get the other families to do it, too.  If there’s no private food pantry, get the school on board to start one.  If there is one in your child’s school, donate to it.

Kids that don’t have to worry about food have a better chance at succeeding in school. When they are focused on where their next meal is coming from or the fact that they are starving, they will fail in school.  Even in colleges, this is an issue.  Don’t think that just because someone got into college that they are not homeless or starving.  They are still trying to better their situation, but it becomes difficult when they are looking at the clock hoping they get to the shelter in time or the fact that they are starving.  When all you can think about is food, it makes it harder to concentrate on your studies.

It takes a village to help raise each and every child.  We need to change the current narrative and stop being so divided.  It is small changes like this that will help move our future as a society in the right direction.

For the adults, pack an extra lunch.  You never know who you’ll encounter that may be hungry and starving.  Maybe you already know someone that could use that extra lunch you’ve packed.  There may even be someone in your own workplace or church congregation that can’t afford food.

Donate to your local food pantry.  If there’s no community food pantry, start a giving box where people can put food in the pantry box.  People that need the food can take what they want.  This is about helping each other.  No one in America should go hungry.  Do your part and share your blessings with others.  Not everyone gets that same blessing of a hot meal three times a day.  Some people are praying for what you take for granted.